xristoff93 Review of Spider-Man: Homecoming

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Kids will love it....You will not! This was "United colous of super goofy"

[5/10 · 21 January 2018]

-This could very easily be the worst spider man movie I've ever watched. For starters, this was more like super goofy! Forced jokes all over the place, a continuing silliness in every scene. And many many many efforts for antiracism. Was this spider man or an activist promotion film?So peter parker's best friend is a fat asian kid now,his high schooll bully is indian(flash) and an overall decent kid and student,his crush is african american and mary jane is an ebony(?) stalker, always following parker around and her name is "MJ for her friends" while her name is not Mary Jane at all?What?!And shocker is a useless white guy killed off by another white guy only to be replaced by another useless guy, but this time black!?And Parker himself is kinda redhead with freckles? -Besides that, the plot was weak, the pace was uneven and the story telling was poor to say the least, resulting in a cringy and kinda boring film. Spider man was goofing around all the time, he seemed extremely weak and useless. And that would be fine if they had not previously presented him in "civil war" as a guy who could fight captain america on equal footing ,and that while being able to afford more goofing around at the time. No continuity whatsover. As for story telling etc...look at the beginning: And here we have SPIDER MAN!!DA TA!...Of course we all know about spider man but shouldn't they show us how he got his powers?How his parents or uncle die?Especially his uncle's death was supposed to be a critical moment in spider man's character shaping.And what about people who have not seen or read about spider-man before,how will they know how he got his powers and what his powers are exactly?I mean, these things are pretty basic. And what about the villains?Do all trash disposal companies hire MIT graduates to get rid of trash and ruins or is it that easy for anyone to hack and modify alien technology and reshape it into human-style weapons? Another thing, his friend was such a genius at computers that could easily hack the high tech suit Iron Man gave him?Like that?And without Stark getting wind of it?Then we have Iron Man coming up and sticking together a boat while it's flooding and he just flies away like that?And what about his aunt?She was more like his older and smoking hot stepsister. Ans she finds out his secret like that? And I can go on and on but I thing you get the picture here. And what about Shocker?He is black now?After Electro who was also made to be black in the previous reboot?And I do not care about the colour of his skin. He could be pakistani for all I care. But there is no point presenting us with a story only to change it later for a political(ly correct) agenda. It is a matter of continuity.Black torch,black electro,black shocker.Are we looking forward to an all black hero and villain series so that people won't call you racist? Changing a character or story in general for that reason, is racist by itself.And to be clear on that, I am not racist.I like all people if they're nice. -Both after credits scenes were pointless even though the second one was kinda funny. -All in all, we have another Hollywood eyecandy, with no plot, no feeling behind the characters, a very weak and kinda unlikable protagonist and dull fights with explosive endings.It was good for wasting a couple of hours but this was not spider man.If that is what they make spider man to be from now on, I do not like it. At least kids will probably like it. What shame.......