Faceless (1988)
6/10
Not the Vase!
1 September 2019
A plastic surgeon is hanging out in Paris with his sister and girlfriend when they are cornered in a parking garage by an disgruntled former patient who is angry that her face ended up deformed due to his incompetence. She throws acid in his direction, but he ducks and it ends up landing in his sister's face. He makes a vow to restore his sister's former beauty by capturing beautiful women and slicing off their faces to find the right fit for her.

For a Jess Franco film, Faceless feels a bit more mainstream and big budgeted than many of his previous films. There's still some jarring editing, odd camera placements, and scripting issues, but it's one of his more cohesive movies. For those who revel in Franco's typical trashy elements, there's still more than enough of that with elements of lesbianism, rape, maybe incest, and tons of insanely unconvincing gore.

International b-movie and trash film legends like Brigitte Lahaie (in a cold, creepy performance), Helmut Berger, Caroline Munro, and Telly Savalas star with Chris Mitchum as the lead who's on the hunt for Munro's drug addled model thanks to father, Telly Savalas. Savalas is in, maybe, 5 minutes of the movie and does all his acting from behind the same desk, so you can tell they shot all his scenes in one day.

There are many strange Euro horror film touches such as a patient of Berger's putting on 3 lbs of makeup before he enters and singing to him as he checks up on her and a deliriously weird sequence where one of Munro's gay fashion photographers is approached at his home by Mitchum who threatens to shatter an expensive vase unless he gives him tips on where Munro is. Just when you think it can't get any funnier, the gay photographer calls on his bodyguard/maybe lover named - I kid you not - DooDoo - and a buff, muscle bound guy appears out of nowhere and tries to fight Mitchum only to be turned into a sobbing mess when he's kicking in groin. You can't make this stuff up.

Faceless also has the guts to end on a really downbeat note that I was expecting, especially after all the silliness that came before it. It's a light, but entertaining entry in the Euro horror cannon and it's worth a watch.
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