What can I say about "Twilight" that hasn't been said before? Despite the film's success, it is widely known that it's just not very good. Well, bite your lip and grab your sparkly boyfriend, and let's get started.
Let's start with the plot itself: a human girl, Bella, falls deeply in love with a vampire, Edward. I understand that it's probably supposed to be a metaphor for unconditional love, but it doesn't tackle the subject tastefully. If you take it at face value, Bella is completely okay with the fact that her boyfriend is DEAD. Throughout the film, Edward and other soulless characters explain that controlling their desire to drink blood is extremely difficult, and he even admits that he still wants to consume her. However, the tale moves on with Bella accepting this and trusting him implicitly. She puts in her life in danger several times by associating with the vampire family and getting in the middle of their feuds. Girl, at some point you need to realize that he isn't worth risking getting your head torn off. He is not even comparable to the Beast in any "Beauty and the Beast" story - there is no redemption shown. He is a ghoul.
Now for the characters, starting with Bella. As stated many, many times before, she is one of the worst female characters of all time. It seems that our story is trying to be sweet, and show how she opens up when Edward gets into her heart. But... she actually doesn't. On the outside, she is empty. On the inside, she is empty, also. There is no turning point where she truly comes out of her shell and becomes vibrant and happy. With or without her blood-sucking boyfriend, she is bland and depressed. She has no interests or character arcs aside from Edward. Honestly, this film does a terrible job at portraying a "shy girl." Shy girls don't gawk and drool at their crushes, and they aren't always depressed. It showcases only two types of girls: the snob (Anna Kendrick's character) and Bella. In other words, 'irritation' and 'emptiness.' To my knowledge, men are not attracted to either extreme, yet dreary Bella becomes the object of every boy's affection at her school.
Edward takes second place for Worst Character Ever. He is as bland and one-dimensional as Bella, except he sparkles. Aside from the fact that he is a nosferatu, he is the moodiest and most whiny guy I've ever seen. He stalks Bella, watches her sleep, gaslights her, sends mixed signals, and leers A LOT. But apparently it's okay because he's a vampire. Not to mention that Robert Pattinson just looks really creepy in this role.
Finally, we come to the movie itself. So, poorly written characters and plot aside, is it at least nice to look at? The answer is no, it's not. The film quality reminds me of a found footage horror flick: dark and shot at awkward angles. The acting is (obviously) painful. It's like everyone was acting at gunpoint. I actually don't blame the performers for this, as there's really nothing one can do with a script that requires such tedium. There's as much staring and gaping in this as there is 'looking up' in Spielberg movies. Also, the soundtrack adds to the nauseam, with odd and annoying guitar riffs throughout. On a final note, the film is just plain boring. Nothing really "happens" until the final act, and even then things are slow and uninteresting.
I would sum up with a conclusion... but I think you know where I stand on this...
Let's start with the plot itself: a human girl, Bella, falls deeply in love with a vampire, Edward. I understand that it's probably supposed to be a metaphor for unconditional love, but it doesn't tackle the subject tastefully. If you take it at face value, Bella is completely okay with the fact that her boyfriend is DEAD. Throughout the film, Edward and other soulless characters explain that controlling their desire to drink blood is extremely difficult, and he even admits that he still wants to consume her. However, the tale moves on with Bella accepting this and trusting him implicitly. She puts in her life in danger several times by associating with the vampire family and getting in the middle of their feuds. Girl, at some point you need to realize that he isn't worth risking getting your head torn off. He is not even comparable to the Beast in any "Beauty and the Beast" story - there is no redemption shown. He is a ghoul.
Now for the characters, starting with Bella. As stated many, many times before, she is one of the worst female characters of all time. It seems that our story is trying to be sweet, and show how she opens up when Edward gets into her heart. But... she actually doesn't. On the outside, she is empty. On the inside, she is empty, also. There is no turning point where she truly comes out of her shell and becomes vibrant and happy. With or without her blood-sucking boyfriend, she is bland and depressed. She has no interests or character arcs aside from Edward. Honestly, this film does a terrible job at portraying a "shy girl." Shy girls don't gawk and drool at their crushes, and they aren't always depressed. It showcases only two types of girls: the snob (Anna Kendrick's character) and Bella. In other words, 'irritation' and 'emptiness.' To my knowledge, men are not attracted to either extreme, yet dreary Bella becomes the object of every boy's affection at her school.
Edward takes second place for Worst Character Ever. He is as bland and one-dimensional as Bella, except he sparkles. Aside from the fact that he is a nosferatu, he is the moodiest and most whiny guy I've ever seen. He stalks Bella, watches her sleep, gaslights her, sends mixed signals, and leers A LOT. But apparently it's okay because he's a vampire. Not to mention that Robert Pattinson just looks really creepy in this role.
Finally, we come to the movie itself. So, poorly written characters and plot aside, is it at least nice to look at? The answer is no, it's not. The film quality reminds me of a found footage horror flick: dark and shot at awkward angles. The acting is (obviously) painful. It's like everyone was acting at gunpoint. I actually don't blame the performers for this, as there's really nothing one can do with a script that requires such tedium. There's as much staring and gaping in this as there is 'looking up' in Spielberg movies. Also, the soundtrack adds to the nauseam, with odd and annoying guitar riffs throughout. On a final note, the film is just plain boring. Nothing really "happens" until the final act, and even then things are slow and uninteresting.
I would sum up with a conclusion... but I think you know where I stand on this...