Will You Merry Me? (2008 TV Movie)
6/10
Disappointing - Condescending Stereotypes
23 July 2020
I cannot tell you how disappointed I was in this movie - despite having the brilliant Wendie Malick and always entertaining Cynthia Stevenson acting their hearts out, this leaden script is so horribly condescending and mocking of the Midwestern Christian family who are meeting the affluent Jewish Angelena to whom their son is engaged, as well as her tragically hip parents.

The boy's (and I use that deliberately, since both offspring are played by actors who look like high schoolers, not the mid-twenty somethings they purport to be) parents are a cartoonish depiction of the derogatory conservative Americans famously defined by Obama as "clinging to their guns and bibles". They are viewed by the sophisticated City Folk from LA as freakish species so far outside of the experience of the urbane denizens of either coast that they act as if they're at a freak show. Their efforts to be tolerant of the Stevenson character's efforts to include Hannukah traditions in the family's over-the-top Christmas rituals and decor come across as patronizing, even supercilious.

It's as if the writer used Rose Nyland as the model for the entire citizenry of the Midwest - naive, clueless and desperate to be liked. It is unlikely that anyone living in suburbia anywhere is as ignorant of other cultures as the Stevenson character- seriously, she does not know what a vegetarian eats? - one gets the impression that the writer had a checklist of lame Midwestern tropes and ticked as many boxes as possible. The son, with most of his hayseed extracted since he scored a rent-controlled apartment in Manhattan where his roommate (now fiancée) and worked as a lawyer, acts like Richard Attenborough explaining the odd habits and strange environment from whence he came.

I kept watching in the hopes that it would become the charming holiday flick we all devour but I was so turned off by the first half hour - the self-righteous vegetarian, baby-voiced daughter is aghast at the knowledge that the family hunts and sounds like she is dealing with the mentally ill when she speaks to her future in-laws. The smug superiority oozing from Malick, which works brilliantly when she is doing comedy or satire, is deeply offensive as this script is neither until well past the time when it could be saved in my eyes.

If the stereotype were on the other foot, the story would never have been made, though there are a few Jewish stereotypes included - but the attempt to mitigate the obvious bias falls flat as it appears the writer has little or no actual real life knowledge of either group. Fortunately, since it really focuses on mocking the last acceptable target - Christian Caucasians from flyover country - Lifetime felt safe in broadcasting this. The network, which has finally made strides in diversifying its casting for its popular holiday movies as far as race is concerned, must feel particularly proud of this offering because it includes Jewish holiday traditions.

I only give it five stars because of Malick and Stevenson, who are always worth watching.
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