I just finished watching Christopher Nolan's "Tenet." Color me not impressed. If you want my honest opinion, the film strikes me as a monumental 300-million-dollar ego trip, one that may have even been intentionally designed to kill its audiences.
I mean, think about it. The film's villain, Sator, knows that he's dying, so he engineers a multi-temporal plot to use future tech to take everyone else on the planet with him. This villain, played by Kenneth Branagh, is so warped and humorless that he's actually looking forward to this.
Now think about the film itself. It's two and a half hours of utter humorlessness, so confusing that it almost *requires* multiple viewings, just to figure out WTF is going on. So what does Christopher Nolan DO with this film, when he finally finishes it? He releases it *only* in theaters. During a pandemic. To audiences who are going to find it so confusing that they'll have to go *back* to those theaters over and over to figure it out, in the process potentially exposing themselves to a fatal virus every time they do.
I'm tempted to think that in the five years it purportedly took Nolan to complete this movie, he turned into his own villain, and is now consciously or subconsciously trying to kill his own audiences, while ensuring that they have as little fun watching the movie as humanly possible.
That's my theory, and I'm stickin' with it. 🙂
I *get* it. The dude loves James Bond movies. He's been wanting for years to make his own. But, being the egomaniac he is, he couldn't be content with just making an everyday James Bond movie. Noooooo. He had to make one that would make people think, "My, how clever Christopher Nolan is." So he made the film as *serious* and as twisty-turny and as incomprehensible as he possibly could.
Color me not impressed by how clever he is. Sure, the action scenes are neat, almost all of them done in real life and in real time, as opposed to with CGI. And sure, the film is *almost* worth watching just for the opportunity to see 6'2" Elizabeth Debicki walk across the screen in high heels. 🙂 But now that it's over, I find myself thinking not about how clever Christopher Nolan is, but about what a total dick he is.
I mean, what's up with creating a film that almost requires Cliff Notes to explain it, and that is no fun even *when* you understand it, and then on top of that forcing audiences to go to a theater during a pandemic to see it, and thus possibly die? I'm telling you...total dick.
Makes me glad I pirated the film and watched it at home. That way I get to live, write bad reviews like this one, distribute them widely, and possibly keep a few people from seeing it, thus keeping them alive.
Heck, the way I see it, I'm more of a James Bond hero than Nolan's protagonist is. 🙂
I mean, think about it. The film's villain, Sator, knows that he's dying, so he engineers a multi-temporal plot to use future tech to take everyone else on the planet with him. This villain, played by Kenneth Branagh, is so warped and humorless that he's actually looking forward to this.
Now think about the film itself. It's two and a half hours of utter humorlessness, so confusing that it almost *requires* multiple viewings, just to figure out WTF is going on. So what does Christopher Nolan DO with this film, when he finally finishes it? He releases it *only* in theaters. During a pandemic. To audiences who are going to find it so confusing that they'll have to go *back* to those theaters over and over to figure it out, in the process potentially exposing themselves to a fatal virus every time they do.
I'm tempted to think that in the five years it purportedly took Nolan to complete this movie, he turned into his own villain, and is now consciously or subconsciously trying to kill his own audiences, while ensuring that they have as little fun watching the movie as humanly possible.
That's my theory, and I'm stickin' with it. 🙂
I *get* it. The dude loves James Bond movies. He's been wanting for years to make his own. But, being the egomaniac he is, he couldn't be content with just making an everyday James Bond movie. Noooooo. He had to make one that would make people think, "My, how clever Christopher Nolan is." So he made the film as *serious* and as twisty-turny and as incomprehensible as he possibly could.
Color me not impressed by how clever he is. Sure, the action scenes are neat, almost all of them done in real life and in real time, as opposed to with CGI. And sure, the film is *almost* worth watching just for the opportunity to see 6'2" Elizabeth Debicki walk across the screen in high heels. 🙂 But now that it's over, I find myself thinking not about how clever Christopher Nolan is, but about what a total dick he is.
I mean, what's up with creating a film that almost requires Cliff Notes to explain it, and that is no fun even *when* you understand it, and then on top of that forcing audiences to go to a theater during a pandemic to see it, and thus possibly die? I'm telling you...total dick.
Makes me glad I pirated the film and watched it at home. That way I get to live, write bad reviews like this one, distribute them widely, and possibly keep a few people from seeing it, thus keeping them alive.
Heck, the way I see it, I'm more of a James Bond hero than Nolan's protagonist is. 🙂