Review of AfterDeath

AfterDeath (2015)
An explanation why horror fans hate the movie. AD is not for people with ADD.
9 September 2020
Warning: Spoilers
I absolutely understand why this movie has a pitiful 4.0 average with barely more than 1,000 votes: it's because it has such a pessimistic premise. The notion that everybody goes to hell, that heaven is just a completely empty place annoys/scares/angers/offends most people. Kind of similar to why "YellowBrickRoad" has a low score.

Besides, thought-provoking, original horror films aren't popular among horror fans - that's common knowledge, or should be. Because this is an obscure movie, mostly horror fans get to see it and rate it, not general movie-goers otherwise it would have been rated higher probably. The majority of horror fans are round-headed clods who thrive on torture porn, home invasion, cannibal sadists, blood-thirsty hicks and other kinds of generically moronic empty-headed slasher "thrills". In short: films with zero imagination, simplistic stories, and plenty of senseless violence. AD is none of that. (There is violence but there isn't much of it and it isn't senseless or over-the-top.) There is more dialog than action, another thing that confuses and bores the average ADD horror fan.

All things considering, I am surprised this doesn't have a 3.3 average or even lower, which is nearly always reserved for the truly bad movies. (Though many awful movies are more likely to get 6.5 and higher, here at least where awfulness and idiocy are generously rewarded.)

AD does have its flaws. Some of the characters do and say odd or somewhat silly things, and there are certain unexplained things and illogicalities that creep in now and again. Why are there images of fetuses every time the lighthouse shines on its victims? Why a lighthouse? What is the purpose of the regular light flashes? Why does the blonde initially see the apparition and the others don't? How come the guy can get erections if their bodies have no blood? (One character does ask this question but we get no answer.) Why does Onie keep disappearing and coming back? Why is she special? How did the blonde die? Surely not in the club accident? Do all dead people go through this brief "lighthouse purgatory"? Had none of the billions of dead people previously figured out what the whole deal is? How the hell can the blonde actually capture a hugely powerful multi-dimensional demon in a wooden box?

But, believe it or nuts, these inconsistencies and flaws aren't significant enough to hurt the movie. The story is gripping from the first minutes and the premise is unusual - i.e. my kind of horror film. There is also no time wasted with a stereotypical boring small-talk intro. The story kicks off immediately.

The female cast is attractive. Miranda Raison is very pretty though not a great actress, Elarica Johnson is even better-looking (amazing mouth) and the most competent actress here. Lorna Brown is very cute too - a typically ditsy British girlie. (The kind that gets drunk at nightclubs and falls over in parking lots while saying "oy" a lot. Years later she marries a square-headed pleb and wonders why her marriage isn't working.)

So how does the film end? Apparently, the plan is to send a lesbian into heaven as a "terrorist bomb" in order to destroy all afterlife. The plan seems to have worked. The notion that a lesbian saves the after-world was not intentionally PC, methinks. But who knows.
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