Review of Jungle Cruise

Jungle Cruise (2021)
5/10
Actors are masters; script is DOA
31 August 2021
Warning: Spoilers
There is an assortment of films whose actors and acting are so top-notch you don't notice you're watching a bad script, film version. This is that film. (Oddly, another in this line is Mary Poppins II, also with Emily Blunt.)

There are too many obvious villains given nothing original to say. Staged scenes look staged. The romantic twinkle comes to our love duo exactly on time. The self-outed gay brother is given little more to do than be picky about his wardrobe, his cosmetics, and his tea, while late in the film he suddenly becomes a prize boxer with near superhero skills (perhaps the scriptwriter was doing penance for the earlier stereotypes).

The leads took this mess and made something of it. They were funny. They were fun. They clicked. They Made It All Work.

Thank them. Don't thank the screenwriter(s). I counted 1,128 different parallel plot lines all configured to close in on each other about 20 minutes before the film's end. Thankfully, 704 were resolved.

I forgot. The CGI. If you like CGI that is so mediocre it manages to repeatedly draw attention to itself, here's your film. A leopard the size of a small dinosaur? Give the CGI guy smaller crayons next time.
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