2/10
Hurray! Another Plinkett wannabe (as if the world really needs anymore)
31 October 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Just to be clear, I'm not going to be touching upon identity politics, social justice issues or any other sort of political movement within regards to him and his blatant stance on these things, because that's not what really irks me about this guy and just to be frank, I don't actually care a whole lot about that side of his unimpressive "pretend personality" (all put-on for show). So I'm not going to be mentioning any of that stuff, here. You know the expression "No one likes a critic"? Well I think he's the reason why that saying is still out in force, today. The Critical Drinker has got to be the most, how shall I put it, PETTY internet movie reviewers I've ever come across while browsing through the online community of constructive film criticism. From what I've seen of his content, this guy simply isn't a good film critic (he's enough to make the honourable duo of Siskel & Ebert turn in their graves).

His reviewing style mostly just consists of him using what he calls "jokes", delivered with a drunkenly slurred tone of voice in his speech pattern, to disguise the fact he really doesn't have anything insightful to say on the topic at hand. A vast quantity of amateur film reviewers on YouTube use this exact same trick; they rely on an excess amount of silly off-topic humour (which half the time, isn't even all that amusing) to distract the naive person watching their reviews from the truth, that they really don't know an awful lot on the subject matter their discussing at all. And what's even more discouraging, it enables them to easily manipulate simple-minded people into think that their poorly-constructed critiques sound way more "intelligent" and important than they actually are, thus their words will inevitably be perceived as believably convincing to the average person who's being influenced by them (basically described what Nostalgia Critic, RedLetterMedia and CinemaSins do). I bet this fella's thought process behind his decision went a little something like this; "Hey now, if I talk like a drunken idiot blurting out a load of random unfunny gibberish, then maybe people will respect my lame opinions on cinema and take me seriously. Genius idea!" Well he hasn't pulled the wool over my eyes with that sort of nonsensical dribble, mostly because I don't find any of his repeating gags entertaining (it's quite pathetic).

My personal gripe with this condescending person mainly stems from his moronic "How Not To Critique Movies" video, which I honestly found to be laughable and flat-out stupid. I feel you can't really preach to people on how they're supposed to review something because that's an idiotic notion. Who are you to tell someone what their own subjective thoughts and opinions should be on a certain product, just because YOU personally don't agree with them on it (give it a rest, mate). If more than one individual with a functioning brain has seen the film/TV show in question, then said individual has every right to express their own unique viewpoint about the thing they've watched (telling them otherwise would be a pretty dumb decision). Seriously, this guy seems to be under the deluded impression that his own subjective feelings are actually objective fact when there's really not a whole lot of truth in those rambling statements he presents (well, they're more like rubbish rants than anything else), speaking about how overarching thematic narratives aren't important to the cinematic arts, even though it's literally been a part of this storytelling art-form since the very dawn of filmmaking itself (has he ever even heard of the silent '20s German Expressionism motion-pictures before, or is he just that unaware?).

Worst part of all is that he hardly even provides substantial comments on the technical aspects of moviemaking, mainly choosing to focus an overwhelming majority of his attention span on the old "Mary Sue" archetype and the studios' "woke" agenda (at this point in time, they're not remarkable or clever observations to moan about anymore). Aside from playing up as a cynical narcissist, I've also noticed he isn't able to fully articulate when it comes to discussing a movie's redeemable qualities as he's often too overly negative for much of the time with not nearly enough positive words to utter. He rarely gives any praise from what I can tell, being eagerly quick to dismiss a popular film's merits specifically. Either that, or he's simply not willing to see the good in things and give newer movies a fair chance to impress (seems as though his head's always stuck in the nostalgic past, I reckon). I realise it's fun to hate on stuff and bashing perfectly solid films is a part of that experience (The Dishonoured Wolf sure knew all about that, before he understandably decided to leave the YouTube platform altogether due to it severely affecting his personal life in a bad way), but the novelty of constantly doing so starts to wear-thin real fast and it can soon get pretty darn boring after a while (ralphthemoviemaker ain't got nothing on the Drinker when it concerns that).

I find it rich how he openly complains about how all these big Hollywood corporations, like Lucasfilm for instance (now it's part of the Disney company), keep disrespecting the dedicated fans of old franchises, while he himself is guilty of doing the exact same thing in his "Godzilla Vs. Kong" reactionary videos. Publicly calling out the people who enjoy such monster movies and creature features by summing up this devoted fandom as "Big Monkey punched Big Lizard and it made my brain happy", or something to that extent (talk about pulling an insulting jerk move). And not to mention, making them feel bad about themselves for liking the type of film they like by harshly mocking and ridiculing it in such an extremely sarcastic and mean-spirited sort of way (possibly bordering on verbal bullying), all while on the unjust grounds of him NOT knowing or understanding anything on this certain genre's long-standing traditions. Basically, what those videos boil down to is that for someone who's supposedly an avid "cinephile", they really don't know jack about the daikaiju genre of Japanese cinema. You'd have to be a right fool to talk down about a thing which you don't even care enough about to research, at all (if you're not willing to learn, then just stick to what you know). Similarly, this hypocrite has become the very perpetrator of exactly that course of action; "disrespecting the fans". My best guess is that he must've done those when he was bored out his mind and didn't have anything better to do (sad, I know).

I much preferred this bloke better in his pre-drunken speech days, back in a time when he was regularly doing those reviews of forgotten films. And his "What Happened to The Clan of the Cave Bear TV Series" and "A Ghostbusters Scene Comparison" video essays were honestly a few of his most intriguing pieces of opinionated work because he seemed authentic and very knowledgeable in those particular ones and besides that, it's way more interesting to me seeing a YouTube reviewer just being their normal natural self (you know, NOT acting like he's putting on the over-exaggerated persona of a raving lunatic character). I rather enjoyed some of the earlier stuff he put out, until his whole channel eventually derailed and quickly devolved into tiresome clickbait videos with him providing his inept critiques (which is almost comparable to the disheartening situation with Cinemassacre's James Rolfe and how he slowly lost interest in his creative passion over recent years).

But most of all, I feel sorry for the gullible fan-base he's managed to garner, who've been blindsided into thinking his throwaway content is actually well-constructed criticism (which is laughable). I sincerely hope every one of his misguided followers decide to wise-up and go seeks out the REAL wisdom of some proper credible professionals, like the aforementioned Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert I previously cited above (knowing him, he'd have laughed at both their humble perspectives). Or as an alternative option, if they really want to listen to critics on the internet that are actually both informative and legitimately hilarious all at once, then I say check out some old unedited videos curtesy of the Spill review crew's archive YouTube channel (who've since moved on to doing Double Toasted, nowadays). And as for old Drinker himself, unless he cleans up this whole act of being a dull "charisma-void" and finally gets back on track with the way his decent videos used to be, then I'd genuinely respect him much more as a content creator/online personality than I'm currently doing right now. But I can't foresee that sort of improvement ever happening, so I won't expect things to change (although I'm not entirely sure if he even bothers to actually look on his own IMDb page, at least).
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