1/10
stupid even for a kid's movie
3 August 2022
Stupidity on stupidity, fantasy that makes zero sense, just toss every cliche into a bucket and stir. Isn't there any desire in Hollywood to be correct about anything? "There are no volcanoes in this part of the Caribbean," says the dialog, though the characters are midway between Montserrat and St. Kitts. Lmao. There was an internet by 1996, so that could have been looked up but you'd think they'd notice that half an island blew to smithereens while they wrote this travesty. Lazy lazy writing. Read a book from time to time, writers.

"No nudity!" says another review, and that's about the best thing going for this smarmy, cloying, nonsensical, inaccurate, pap. Oh, and my kid comes within six inches of killing me with a blow gun "by accident?" I'm tossing that brat off the boat before he grows up and learns about guns. Smh.
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