Let's not beat around the bush with this one. Here we have a very fine example of a bombasically dumb yet thoroughly entertaining daikaiju film that's immensely enjoyable for all the wrong reasons (watching the hilarious English-dubbed version only enhances your viewing pleasure). It's not some deeply introspective, thought-provoking piece of true cinematic art that'll change your outlook on life, or anything like that. Godzilla: Final Wars (2004) is sincerely at its heart an unabashedly wild romp of a glorified cheesy B-movie with a lavished modernised look in its aesthetic choices, very much so trying to emulate the same trendy Matrix vibes in order to be persieved more like the other "edgier" products of the time (man, the early 2000s sure was an awkward point in pop-culture history). Drowning in plenty of laugh-out-loud illogical moments, it gives off the impression upfront that this is something not to be taken seriously in the slightest, being lumped in the same camp as DC's Aquaman (2018). This is somewhat of an apt description as Final Wars is exactly like that superhero film in terms of its more bonkers tone and surprisingly fun execution, being an unapologetically awesome monster flick with just the right amount of insane wackiness to keep any proud creature feature fanatic a happy-camper (when a studio genuinely wants to appease the avid fanbase of a certain niche genre, it's wise to satisfy your core consumers which ensures profits).
Now I can get on with the proper review after that preamble. So, what actually happens in Final Wars? Well, a better question would be "what the heck doesn't happen?" You got it all; giant monsters start causing havoc in different places on a global scale by (you guessed it) rampaging in capital cities and demolishing major sites (plus tearing-down world-famous landmarks), all the while being secretly manipulated to do so on command via advanced mind-control performed by a malevolent alien race that don't blink (dead giveaway!) and pose as benevolent intergalactic visitors to mankind. Not fooled by their peace-seeking ruse, a small band of specialised individuals (including, but not limited to, a martial-arts mutant man, a muscly ex-military mister, an unusually attractive newscaster lady and her unbelievably hot scientist sister) discover the terrible truth behind their true intentions and rush to stop these evil planet-conquering E. T.s from taking over our world and turning us defenceless Earthlings into their own personal food source (converting us all into "cattle", as they put it). Equipped with specialised high-tech gear (including a war-ready battleship that killed Manda earlier on) and some mild telekinetic-linking (I guess?), the group's last ditch attempt at bringing an end to this overload of madness is to locate and reawaken Godzilla from his decades old state of deep slumbering hibernation as he's been buried underneath ice sheets at the South Pole since the early days of the great kaiju wars.
With such an outlandish plot synopsis like that, it tells you precisely what you're in for (and what to expect, right from the beginning). To say there's an awful lot going on in this story would be a monumental understatement, building it up as a completely convoluted but epic finale to the entire franchise (at the time of its release, that is) loaded to the teeth with bundles of action-packed destruction and logic-defying spectacle (it's all kinds of stupidity). I've seen some schlocky schlock in my time, but this might just take the cake as it has to be without a doubt the most scholckiest schlock my tiny brain has ever been subjected to. In fact, I even dare to go so far as proclaiming that it's quite a proficient master-class in being elevated to a higher art form of sauropod-sized proportions (strictly in the terms of what it set out to accomplish in the first place). And it managed to do the whole "total world-ending annihilation" narrative rather well, all things considered. The bizarro nature of its unconventional cinematography is off-the-wall batty with rapid-fire editing techniques and seizure-inducing strobe-light effects littered all throughout the film's brightly-lit colour-palette (a warning to anyone who suffers from severe case of epileptic fits, the flashy visuals in its opening titles sequence will most likely give you a series of them). Speaking of other things that are of the "unconventionality", this movie's techno-rockin' soundtrack takes a big deviation from the norm of what we're used to hearing and I fully commend the musical score for its odd uniqueness (swapping out the franchise's traditional "military march" them for something a little more contemporary-sounding). Despite the runtime being a smidgen over 2 hours long, I felt it moved along at quite a brisk pace thanks to the fact there's so much maniacal stuff happening on-screen (perfect for those with ADHD).
The super-human combatants practice skilled hand-to-hand conflict in a fashionable manner reminiscent to that of an old drunken master-type picture, and equally operates under the same logically-broken cartoony sensibilities they did as well. The unbridled level of sheer ridiculousness in their loony combat methods are mesmerisingly astonishing, if you're up for a good-hearty chuckle at the wire-work on display (defied all laws of physics). And the Matrix comparisons are no exaggeration, as all the aliens wear black and dress in trench-coats. Also not to mention, slow-mo is incorporated into their specificsequences (a la bullet-time style). As for the villain... oh my goodness! He's honestly got to be the most over-the-top, played-for-laughs, jokes of a goofball villain I've ever seen in, well, just about anything. And yet, I couldn't help but be massively amused by this emo Xillien lad as I'm willing to bet he's probably given one of the BEST over-acted antagonistic performances in the cinematic history of hamming-it-up. Forget about Patrick Wilson's Ocean Master, because this guy is the REAL over-dramatic comical baddy.(seriously, give this bloke an award or something).
The updated stylistic renditions for every classic kaiju is a radically familiar makeover, with each one of the newly refurbished characters (both popular and obscure, alike) sporting a strikingly vibrant appearance that doesn't stray too far from the original designs and are showcased to the best of their abilities (minus poor Hedorah and Ebirah, though). These revamped incarnations also acquired an even more superficial humanoid body-shape than they had done before, guaranteeing their less-bulky and slimed-down physiques would give additional room for the in-suit actors to efficiently perform all those crazy Kung Fu-esque stunts and fighting moves without immediately collapsing from exhaustion. When a rejuvenated Godzilla first stomps his way onto the scene, the gloves are off as he goes in full-force with the merciless pulverisation of his "weakling" opponents in order to demonstrate his raw strength (for starters, it's Kumonga and Kamacuras), with the only exceptions being his previous comrades Anguirus, Rodan and King Caesar as he essentially spares them after playing a football match (yeah, never would you have expected to ever see the undisputed king of the monsters engaging in a game of footie with his best buddies). The grand Earthshaking showdown occurs in the post-apocalyptic battlegrounds of Tokyo (of course) as the Big-G unloads his fullest potential when he goes toe-to-toe with Monster X/Kaiser Ghidorah, joined by late-commer ally Mothra and an EXTREMELY upgraded Gigan shortly afterwards. It's a pretty impressive final smackdown regarding all the ruined city set-pieces, even if they're a bit rough around the edges.
This movie is totally 100% unadulterated fan-service to any long-time fan of the series, from the war-torn Gotengo aircraft (that eradicated Manda) to the supposed colliding-planet Gorath (even the satisfying part where Toho's almighty Godzilla takes out TriStar's puny Zilla). I'm very well aware that a good quantity of the fans don't usually tend to take too kindly of a liking to this peculiar entry as they feel it's WAY too out-there with its zany nonsensical nuttiness of sheer perpetual pandemonium in regard to some of the director's creative decisions, I myself will admit it's a uniquely acquired taste. However, I for one have a bit of a nostalgia-influenced bias preference towards Final Wars, seeing as how it was literally the first Japanese giant monster movie I ever fully watched back when I was a young teen (only ever saw them in chunks, beforehand). Just to be clear on one thing here, I'm NOT the type of person in this fandom who declares that a particular movie is either "incredibly overrated" or "criminally underrated". I'm personally of the non-judgemental opinion that people in this community can feel free to just like which ever one they want to, regardless of what the general consensus is on it specifically. If you either enjoy it or you're not very fond of it, that's fine. If you absolutely adore it or despise it with a burning passion it, that's also fine (the reality life is we're all different). It's in a comparable similar position to marmite, where you go one of two ways - LOVE it or HATE it (that's up to you).
Now I can get on with the proper review after that preamble. So, what actually happens in Final Wars? Well, a better question would be "what the heck doesn't happen?" You got it all; giant monsters start causing havoc in different places on a global scale by (you guessed it) rampaging in capital cities and demolishing major sites (plus tearing-down world-famous landmarks), all the while being secretly manipulated to do so on command via advanced mind-control performed by a malevolent alien race that don't blink (dead giveaway!) and pose as benevolent intergalactic visitors to mankind. Not fooled by their peace-seeking ruse, a small band of specialised individuals (including, but not limited to, a martial-arts mutant man, a muscly ex-military mister, an unusually attractive newscaster lady and her unbelievably hot scientist sister) discover the terrible truth behind their true intentions and rush to stop these evil planet-conquering E. T.s from taking over our world and turning us defenceless Earthlings into their own personal food source (converting us all into "cattle", as they put it). Equipped with specialised high-tech gear (including a war-ready battleship that killed Manda earlier on) and some mild telekinetic-linking (I guess?), the group's last ditch attempt at bringing an end to this overload of madness is to locate and reawaken Godzilla from his decades old state of deep slumbering hibernation as he's been buried underneath ice sheets at the South Pole since the early days of the great kaiju wars.
With such an outlandish plot synopsis like that, it tells you precisely what you're in for (and what to expect, right from the beginning). To say there's an awful lot going on in this story would be a monumental understatement, building it up as a completely convoluted but epic finale to the entire franchise (at the time of its release, that is) loaded to the teeth with bundles of action-packed destruction and logic-defying spectacle (it's all kinds of stupidity). I've seen some schlocky schlock in my time, but this might just take the cake as it has to be without a doubt the most scholckiest schlock my tiny brain has ever been subjected to. In fact, I even dare to go so far as proclaiming that it's quite a proficient master-class in being elevated to a higher art form of sauropod-sized proportions (strictly in the terms of what it set out to accomplish in the first place). And it managed to do the whole "total world-ending annihilation" narrative rather well, all things considered. The bizarro nature of its unconventional cinematography is off-the-wall batty with rapid-fire editing techniques and seizure-inducing strobe-light effects littered all throughout the film's brightly-lit colour-palette (a warning to anyone who suffers from severe case of epileptic fits, the flashy visuals in its opening titles sequence will most likely give you a series of them). Speaking of other things that are of the "unconventionality", this movie's techno-rockin' soundtrack takes a big deviation from the norm of what we're used to hearing and I fully commend the musical score for its odd uniqueness (swapping out the franchise's traditional "military march" them for something a little more contemporary-sounding). Despite the runtime being a smidgen over 2 hours long, I felt it moved along at quite a brisk pace thanks to the fact there's so much maniacal stuff happening on-screen (perfect for those with ADHD).
The super-human combatants practice skilled hand-to-hand conflict in a fashionable manner reminiscent to that of an old drunken master-type picture, and equally operates under the same logically-broken cartoony sensibilities they did as well. The unbridled level of sheer ridiculousness in their loony combat methods are mesmerisingly astonishing, if you're up for a good-hearty chuckle at the wire-work on display (defied all laws of physics). And the Matrix comparisons are no exaggeration, as all the aliens wear black and dress in trench-coats. Also not to mention, slow-mo is incorporated into their specificsequences (a la bullet-time style). As for the villain... oh my goodness! He's honestly got to be the most over-the-top, played-for-laughs, jokes of a goofball villain I've ever seen in, well, just about anything. And yet, I couldn't help but be massively amused by this emo Xillien lad as I'm willing to bet he's probably given one of the BEST over-acted antagonistic performances in the cinematic history of hamming-it-up. Forget about Patrick Wilson's Ocean Master, because this guy is the REAL over-dramatic comical baddy.(seriously, give this bloke an award or something).
The updated stylistic renditions for every classic kaiju is a radically familiar makeover, with each one of the newly refurbished characters (both popular and obscure, alike) sporting a strikingly vibrant appearance that doesn't stray too far from the original designs and are showcased to the best of their abilities (minus poor Hedorah and Ebirah, though). These revamped incarnations also acquired an even more superficial humanoid body-shape than they had done before, guaranteeing their less-bulky and slimed-down physiques would give additional room for the in-suit actors to efficiently perform all those crazy Kung Fu-esque stunts and fighting moves without immediately collapsing from exhaustion. When a rejuvenated Godzilla first stomps his way onto the scene, the gloves are off as he goes in full-force with the merciless pulverisation of his "weakling" opponents in order to demonstrate his raw strength (for starters, it's Kumonga and Kamacuras), with the only exceptions being his previous comrades Anguirus, Rodan and King Caesar as he essentially spares them after playing a football match (yeah, never would you have expected to ever see the undisputed king of the monsters engaging in a game of footie with his best buddies). The grand Earthshaking showdown occurs in the post-apocalyptic battlegrounds of Tokyo (of course) as the Big-G unloads his fullest potential when he goes toe-to-toe with Monster X/Kaiser Ghidorah, joined by late-commer ally Mothra and an EXTREMELY upgraded Gigan shortly afterwards. It's a pretty impressive final smackdown regarding all the ruined city set-pieces, even if they're a bit rough around the edges.
This movie is totally 100% unadulterated fan-service to any long-time fan of the series, from the war-torn Gotengo aircraft (that eradicated Manda) to the supposed colliding-planet Gorath (even the satisfying part where Toho's almighty Godzilla takes out TriStar's puny Zilla). I'm very well aware that a good quantity of the fans don't usually tend to take too kindly of a liking to this peculiar entry as they feel it's WAY too out-there with its zany nonsensical nuttiness of sheer perpetual pandemonium in regard to some of the director's creative decisions, I myself will admit it's a uniquely acquired taste. However, I for one have a bit of a nostalgia-influenced bias preference towards Final Wars, seeing as how it was literally the first Japanese giant monster movie I ever fully watched back when I was a young teen (only ever saw them in chunks, beforehand). Just to be clear on one thing here, I'm NOT the type of person in this fandom who declares that a particular movie is either "incredibly overrated" or "criminally underrated". I'm personally of the non-judgemental opinion that people in this community can feel free to just like which ever one they want to, regardless of what the general consensus is on it specifically. If you either enjoy it or you're not very fond of it, that's fine. If you absolutely adore it or despise it with a burning passion it, that's also fine (the reality life is we're all different). It's in a comparable similar position to marmite, where you go one of two ways - LOVE it or HATE it (that's up to you).