I fully expected Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey to have indistinguishable disposable characters, kills that are gross and mean-spirited, a bone-thin plot, inane dialogue, and acting that is...mediocre at best.
I was right about the film having all of these things, and I didn't mind these things. They're par-for-the-course in the slasher genre, and I embrace the self-aware trashiness of it all.
What I was not prepared for was just how boring this movie is. And it's because it does not even attempt to make use of its characters that should make for a slam-dunk of a hilariously enjoyable concept.
Christopher Robin and his college friends should have been the focal characters. But Christopher Robin is barely in this movie and instead we get a group of vapid girls who have no relation to Christopher. They get killed off instead, and there is no reason to care because they're completely detached from the connection between Pooh and Christopher at the beginning of the film.
It would have been so easy for them to capitalise on a concept that could only be found in Winnie-the-Pooh: the animals kill Christopher's family and friends as revenge for him abandoning them. But the plot we got could be interchanged with literally any other plot in the slasher genre, as it's just a bunch of randos getting killed.
What also doesn't help this disaster is the awful editing. Almost every shot lasts longer than it should, and it makes each scene feel agonisingly long.
It's a film where we watch a lot of half-baked ideas play out on screen, and none of them are unique. None of them are what I wanted to see from a concept as silly as this.
This could have been hilariously good fun. Instead, it's identical to the rest of the trash you can find in bottom-of-the-barrel horror.
I was right about the film having all of these things, and I didn't mind these things. They're par-for-the-course in the slasher genre, and I embrace the self-aware trashiness of it all.
What I was not prepared for was just how boring this movie is. And it's because it does not even attempt to make use of its characters that should make for a slam-dunk of a hilariously enjoyable concept.
Christopher Robin and his college friends should have been the focal characters. But Christopher Robin is barely in this movie and instead we get a group of vapid girls who have no relation to Christopher. They get killed off instead, and there is no reason to care because they're completely detached from the connection between Pooh and Christopher at the beginning of the film.
It would have been so easy for them to capitalise on a concept that could only be found in Winnie-the-Pooh: the animals kill Christopher's family and friends as revenge for him abandoning them. But the plot we got could be interchanged with literally any other plot in the slasher genre, as it's just a bunch of randos getting killed.
What also doesn't help this disaster is the awful editing. Almost every shot lasts longer than it should, and it makes each scene feel agonisingly long.
It's a film where we watch a lot of half-baked ideas play out on screen, and none of them are unique. None of them are what I wanted to see from a concept as silly as this.
This could have been hilariously good fun. Instead, it's identical to the rest of the trash you can find in bottom-of-the-barrel horror.