3/10
A bad "bad" 80s movie
31 March 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Ninjas in long black outfits were a perfect choice as secret assasins on a hot island. They blended seamlessly into the background of blue water, sandy beaches, and palm trees. If you aren't looking closely, you could easily miss them.

Apparently, the screenwriter got drunk and ran off with an island girl, but thankfully the 12-year-old boy in the movie stepped up to write the dialogue. The Academy truly snubbed the cast, who gave us multiple Oscar-worthy performances with such lines as "Get him!"

Let's also not forget the riveting action sequences where 15 bad guys with a numerical advantage decide not to attack at once, but instead choose to bravely attack one-at-a-time while carefully telegraphing their next move. If you freeze the frame, you may see them winking at Michael Dudikoff before they strike in slow motion. Despite being trained in ranged weapons like stars, blowguns, and bows and arrows, they wisely chose to sacrifice this advantage for melee attacks. Thankfully, most of the bad guys have the same weakness where a single punch will knock them out cold. Bullets also seem to work well against them, making one question why a drug lord brought an army with knives to a gun fight.

In a truly amazing coincidence, the characters of this film are identical to the first one. There's the evil white guy boss, the ninja boss, and the cannon fodder ninja. They even had the "grumpy sergeant" character back, although the original actor made so much money from the first movie that he passed on the role. And of course, what would a Caribbean island be without Australian hoodlums who like to beat up Americans?

The evil headquarters also reminded me of something: my 90s college dorm. I guess the boss fell behind in payments on the ninja temple training camp, so the rented out Smith Hall during spring break.

I can't wait to see the third masterpiece in this series.
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