Phoenix (III) (2023)
5/10
Fun action
31 August 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Tubi is the mom and pop video store of streaming - even if it's owned by Fox, a fact I don't like to dwell on all that much - and the movies that it promotes as its originals really prove that. A starring vehicle for former WWE Diva Natalie Eva Marie Nelson - she was already in the movies Inconceivable, Action #1 and Hard Kill, as well as appearing on Celebrity Big Brother - this is the kind of action vehicle that often was created for star athletes in the 80s and 90s like Brian Bosworth (Stone Cold), Howie Long (Firestorm) and, yes, Hulk Hogan (Suburban Commando, No Holds Barred).

Nelson plays Fiona "Phoenix" Grant, an army hand-to-hand combat instructor who leaves the military behind after the death of her mercenary father, Everett (Randy Couture, the former U. S. Army sergeant who became a six-time UFC Champion and the first to hold titles in two different weight divisions). The cops say that he killed himself, but thanks to intel from her former commanding officer General Shackleton (Neal McDonough), she learns that his suicide was set up by a Russian crime family led by Maxim Vasiliiv (Oleg Prudius, who would be better known to WWE fans as Vladimir Kozlov). Maxim and Everett had been battling for years and their final face-off was to be hand-to-hand until a henchman shot the hero in the back of the head.

Now, Phoenix is working her way through the Vasiliiv's family's goons, one-by-one. She even goes to lunch with Maxim in a restaurant surrounded by his thugs. There's also a flashback to when Phoenix lost her mother due to the lifestyle her father lived and a shopping trip with her Aunt Grace (Jessie Camacho, a former police officer and Survivor contestant who played Chupi Chupi on Reno 911!).

Phoenix is packed with tough guys, including Joseph Aviel (who once was Arnold Schwarzenegger's stunt double), Jonathan Camp, Arnold Chon (a stuntman and MMA fighter), Frank Mir (former two-time UFC Heavyweight Champion, he also has the record for the most finishes and submission victories in UFC Heavyweight history), Rashad Evans (heavyweight winner of The Ultimate Fighter 2, former UFC Light Heavyweight Champion and a 2019 inductee of the UFC Hall of Fame), Phillip Tan (stuntman and trainer for stars like Christopher Lambert) and former Scores bouncer and former New York Hell's Angels president Chuck Zito, who was also a bodyguard for Lorna Luft, Liza Minelli, Muhammad Ali, Charles Bronson, Michael Jackson, Sean Penn, Chita Rivera, Eric Roberts, Mickey Rourke, Charlie Sheen, Sylvester Stallone and Elizabeth Taylor. He also famously knocked out Jean-Claude Van Damme, standing over him and yelling, "This ain't the movies! This is the street, and I own the street!" He's been acting since the 80s, showing up all the way back in 1990: The Bronx Warriors as one of the real bikers that Enzo G. Castellari hired for his post-apocalyptic masterwork.

And hey - Bai Ling is in this as a character named Scavenger, complete with neon makeup that makes her lips look enormous. Man, I love Bai Ling. Keep being in weird parts and showing up unexpectantly!

Director and writer Daniel Zirilli is best known for his action films like Renegades and Invincible, as well as directing videos for Montell Jordan and Scarface, as well as the clip for the song "Short Dick Man" by 20 Fingers featuring Gillette.

Eva Marie has some weird line deliveries in this, but I assume that a lot of the takes were one and done. In truth, this movie isn't about her talking - or screaming in a shrill blast of a voice as she decimates a room in anger - as it is about her kicking ass. I can report that she does absolutely fine with that.
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