Madame Web (2024)
4/10
Like an alien artifact
12 March 2024
In many ways, I absolutely love these types of films. It's just so fascinating to see how they get things so completely wrong. The entire tone of the film is simply bizarre - it really does feel machine-generated. No humanity whatsoever. Watching actors struggle under the weight of such blandness and mediocrity is actually a lot of fun.

There's a near-perfect scene where someone gives Dakota Johnson a thank you card, and she stares at it like it's an alien artifact, then states in monotone, "This is made of... paper?" and the scene quickly cuts away. Genuis!

In many ways it felt like a throwback to the pre-Dark Knight/Zack Snyder era of lighter, sillier superhero films of the '00s. No serious attempt at realistic setting or dialogue, just continuous contrivances and deus ex machina set to a loop of girlpower pop hits. For instance, it is never revealed what the baddie actually wants, or what he does for a living, or even his name - it's enough that he wears a dark coloured suit and lives in a big tower.

For the record, I found this less offensive than your average Hollywood 'blockbuster'. It's heart was in the right place... maybe...
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