5/10
A Beautiful Piece of Garbage
1 April 2024
The recent American Godzilla films have not exactly been narrative driven think-pieces, but rather monster-on-monster brawlers. If you want monster action, The New Empire has it in spades, and is easily the most beautiful of the four recent films. The Titans, every one of them, looks eye-wateringly outstanding, an absolute stand-out being Mothra, who remains as gorgeous as she was in King of the Monsters.

Godzilla looks great, and his new colour palette is especially amazing, and though he gets top billing in the title, he is side-lined in his own film, in favour of Kong. Don't get me wrong, Kong is a good draw in this film, in his pursuit to hopefully find other giant apes in the Hollow Earth, a realm which is as epic as the monsters that reside there; it just would have been good to see more of our favourite lizard too.

Though the effects will absolutely be the number one reason to see this film, the story, script and human characters are certainly not. The script is the most contrived, convenient mess this addition to the franchise has ever seen. Example, 'we need special item - lucky, it is right next to us, though we never mentioned it before until now because...reasons.'

A massive thing missing from this monster movie is a heart. The first two films had Ken Watanabe's Serizawa, a sole believer in Godzilla and the titans, who fought for co-existence between monsters and humanity. The third entry had Millie Bobby Brown's Madison, who exhibited an undying faith in Godzilla when others did not. This film? Yeah, none of that.

Rebecca Hall does her best as Dr. Andrews, and despite the occasional moment where she can flex her acting muscles (let's face it, she deserves better than this), she is normally used as an exposition tool, simply telling us the back-story and describing what will happen next. Think of the film this way - there is a big monster scene, then Dr. Andrews will explain why and what happens next - then there will be another monster scene - rinse and repeat.

Bryan Henry and Dan Stevens share the role of comedic relief, though it is Ron Smyck as Harris who arguably had some of the best lines (and deserved more screen time). The film at times often feels like a comedy, more than an action feature, trying to squeeze in as many 'funny' lines as a Marvel film.

The music is of course as on point as ever - a bombastic score that makes every set-piece that much more entertaining, but that's all this film has - it is the most beautiful and colourful the monsterverse has ever been - but it is shallower than any puddle you'll find.
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