...but I'll do my best. The direction and acting are like that of an early 80s made for TV movie that you might see on the Hallmark channel on a tuesday afternoon. It is absolutely terrible. The only reason you will have heard of this film is because of Liz Hurley, whose son is the director, and decided to try and cast her in an 'erotic lesbian' scene. That in itself is bizarre and creepy, and I can only assume Liz's atrocious, utterly unsexy acting is because her son was watching! Again....just very weird! If you have 90mins spare, do yourself a favour and watch paint dry; It's a a lot sexier.