Kickboxing Academy (1997) User Reviews

Ed Wood would be proud

[fushnicken69 · 1/10 · 30 August 2001]

I was flipping through the channels one unproductive day and I happened upon this flick on Showtime. I don't know why I stopped flipping when I came to it. It was just one of those crazy things that happens. But I'm glad I stopped because I witnessed one of the absolute worst movies I've ever seen in my life.

From what I got out of it, the plot is a Karate Kid retread involving a Bad News Bears type of karate school and the big and mean kids from the evil school. Why is there always an evil school? Anyway, if you've seen any teen sports movie since 1985 you pretty much know how this one turns out.

The thing that caught me was the acting. It was so astonishingly bad that I was wondering if they were doing it on purpose. I think the kids they hired were the children of the crew because by the looks of things they couldn't afford real child actors. And there was one truly shocking thing in this whole mess. Steven Bauer! How the hell did Manny from Scarface get himself into this. Did he owe a life debt to the director. My God!

Anyway, if you're truly in the mood for a god awful movie, and we all get in that mood sometime, then by all means check out Kickboxing Academy. You won't be disapointed.

Oh my GOD this SOOOOO bad !!!!

[destroyerwod · 1/10 · 15 August 2010]

Usually im very easy to please, if you followed of my review you would know that im not hard on the story, and as long as the acting is decent, im please, after all its not a drama, but a martial arts movie. But here, sadly nothing at all can save this mess... The only thing that could come close would be Master June, she is pretty good looking but thats it. The acting is terrible !!!, horribly terrible, they could have engage Russian reading English lines with no clues of what they where reading and it would not have been worst. Then you can think if the actor is so bad, as long as the fights are good... BUT NO, i am a beginner in martial arts, only 6 months of training and i could choreograph EASILY better fights then there. It was worst than having a celebrity on a WWE show where he have to make special care that the celebrity block his punch... Seriously it was so obvious there where going slow because they had no idea what they where doing... The only thing i can say wasen't so bad was the camera man, he manage to deliver, but thats it, give me a good camera man and good equipment and i promise i can make better fight with my friends at the gym... and even not being native English we could be more believable then this guys... I am currently running an enormous marathon of watching every martial movies made, good or bad, and even some that got under 2.0 here on IMDb i enjoyed them(bloodfist 2050, with the great fight Matt Mullins who may not be a very good actor, but knows how to fight) and had fun. But during the entire movie, i had the impression of watching a parody of the karate kid, like a mad TV sketch...

What a bad movie. Disturbing too.

[MaximumCheese · 1/10 · 1 February 2003]

-Warning- ***May contain spoilers***(as if anyone cares)

Ok. What to say about this movie? I have watched through it a few times, and I just can't figure it out. I took it upon myself to do some research on the background of this movie. Literally, I kept thinking about how bad it was all the time. It was haunting my dreams. With some minimal digging, I found some very disturbing info on the movie. We'll get to that later. Let's look at all the things wrong with Kickboxing Academy.

First and foremost, the actors. In many instances, the actors can make or break the movie, and in this case, they broke it. If nothing about the movie were different except the quality of the acting, it could've been somewhat watchable, save the horrible editing conflicts and poor plot. By far the worst actor in the movie is the gimp who played Stan. What were they thinking? I think they selected the actors in the following manner: they walked around on the streets of Miami, found random people, and asked, "Hey, wanna be in a movie? There's free food in it for you!"

Let's look at the editing. I'm referring particularly to the scene at the end where Tarbeck's holding an M-4 assault rifle. It cuts to a scene of him from behind and he's holding a TEC-9!!! To make matters worse, it cuts again to a view of Tarbeck from the front, again holding the M-4. For the non-gun nuts out there, the M-4 is an assault rifle, and the TEC-9 is a submachine pistol. Two very different guns...

The fighting.... The scenes are badly choreographed, not to mention the movie has nothing to do with kickboxing. All of the fighting is basic Japanese karate, and for some reason Korean posters are pasted all around the academy. What the director forgot is that KICKBOXING IS FROM THAILAND! You would think that someone on the set would bring this up.

There are also numerous plot conflicts. In one part, Brian gets his brake hoses cut. The police would be all over that in a minute, yet Brian's car is wrecked and no one asks anyone follow up questions.

I dug up some dirt on the actors and the director. Apparently, the director, Richard Gabai, has directed his fair share of adult films. If that's not wierd enough for you, the two main actors in the movie, Christopher Lee and Chyler Leigh are brother and sister. This is quite odd since they are involved romantically. I could be wrong, but they really kissed multiple times. That's just disgusting.

There are only a few redeeming qualities of the movie: 1. Richard Gabai calling Stan a "fat dip." 2. It's so bad, it's hilarious. 3. Chyler Leigh isn't all that bad looking and she's probably the best actress in the movie. 4. The awesome Ford Galaxie

All in all, I recommend this very forgettable movie if you have 88 minutes to waste. Don't buy it unless you first watch it on cable, because you either like this movie because it's so revolting, or you think it's the worst piece of garbage and don't want to waste one more minute than necessary on it.

Pretty abysmal,Z grade rubbish

[wellthatswhatithinkanyway · 26 July 2003]

STAR RATING:*****Unmissable****Very Good***Okay**You Could Go Out For A Meal Instead*Avoid At All Costs

This tosh is sort of a victim of the environment in which it was filmed.Obviously by a film company that's probably gone bust by now,with a no name cast,an unheard of director and shoddy,sub standard editing and writing (i.e.,featuring kickboxing in the title,despite all of the combat on display being karate,asking us to believe referees at a fight tournament would allow rival competitors distracting their opponents in the ring by shouting derogatory comments at them and throwing in attacks from outside the ring and blatant cheating in general to go unnoticed without having them disqualified or anything).Throw into the equation cliched characters (with terrible actors to play them),tired dialogue and a laughably over the top ending involving a gun toting sensei,and you have a film that could not belong to any confines other than that of made for TV and straight to video hell and is,as an aside,about one notch off being totally unwatchable.*

Not as bad as expected

[JoeytheBrit · 5/10 · 16 September 2002]

KICKBOXING ACADEMY is one of those production-line comedies aimed squarely at the juvenile set, so I was surprised to find it wasn't quite as bad as I expected. That's not to say it's anything worth staying in for – any post-80's comedy with the word Academy in the title is bound to be creatively limited – but it does, at least, manage to raise the occasional smile – something the POLICE ACADEMY movies have failed to do since episode II.

The notional storyline is trite, a rehash of a rehash of a… Two rival kickboxing academies, one managed by a gung-ho survivalist type, the other owned by a sweet blonde, hold a kickboxing contest to decide which will remain in business and which will close. Aside from a mild teen-romance sub-plot, that's about it.

There are very few familiar faces in this movie, and the acting varies from the acceptable to the truly horrendous, but it does possess a generally cheerful disposition, and, although he's not always successful, director Richard Gabai at least tries to keep things interesting with a variety of tricks. And, just as it's all beginning to wear a little thin, and the plot is growing increasingly daft, the whole thing is wrapped up in a pleasingly brief running time.

Worst movie in history....

[morbid_Visions · 1/10 · 25 June 2002]

This is the worst movie ever made. The fighting (if you can call it fighting) scenes are worse than the 3 Ninjas movies. Fart noises and stupid faces make up this movie. This is stupid even for a kid flick. Stay very far away from this movie.

A special kind of bad

[Woodyanders · 2/10 · 8 May 2014]

Boy, does this movie smell worse than dirty old socks! For starters, the grindingly predictable story about two rival kickboxing schools pitted against each other in a major martial arts competition offers zero surprises, with an ending that's signposted right from the start. Will former kickboxing champ Brian (woodenly played by David Everett) forget his traumatic past so he can fight once again? Will the brutish guy who runs the evil kickboxing school be exposed and embarrassed as a big loudmouth bully fake by the nice lady instructor who runs the good school? Will the fat kid surprise everyone with some fancy martial arts moves? Well, what do you think? Of course they all will and do. Worse yet, director/co-writer Richard Gabia stages the fight scenes with alarming ineptitude, relates the slight story at an uneven stop'n'go pace, and crams the flick with loads of annoying moments of groan-inducing puerile humor. The icky romantic scenes between real-life siblings Chyler Leigh and Christopher Khayman Lee are distasteful and border uncomfortably on the incestuous. The monotonously bouncy score by Larry Berliner and Michael Morrell doesn't help matters any. The sloppy cinematography by George Barnes boasts several painfully crude scene transitions. Poor token name Steven Bauer gets saddled with a thankless one-note sleazeball villain role. A real stinker.

Watching this is as enjoyable as a root canal, disgusting and nauseous casting

[armstrongwl1 · 1/10 · 13 December 2020]

I have to admit I watched this for a rather sick and demented reason. I wanted to see the movie that actually had a real life brother and sister play romantic interests. The actors that play Cindy and Danny are real life brother and sister. And I don't care what camera angles they used, obviously Cindy and Danny kissed in a way I would never even think of kissing my brother or any blood relative I don't care how distant or how many times removed. I understand that actors kiss, make out, have sex scenes, etc and it doesn't mean anything but there are boundaries that should never be crossed, regardless of it being make believe and pretend. So I believe I've expressed my disgust at that so let's talk about the actual movie. There is absolutely nothing worthwhile about the movie, itself. The script, the acting is all beyond bad. It honestly reminds me of a school play my 10 yr nephew did. With my nephew, it was funny to watch the kids play their parts and try to remember and deliver lines but this is a Hollywood production. It was seriously painful to watch. Absolutely the worst thing I've ever seen that is supposedly a professional production

Pretty Damn Poor

[hitman69 · 2/10 · 1 April 2000]

In my opinion. This movie was terribly written. Plot has been done 1 million and a half times. No real talent in this movie. If I was the writer of this I would have been embarrassed to present this to anyone to make. What did he say??? Hi guys I know weve done this 1,000 times but I think a few months has went by so lets do another...I dont see this as an under 17 movie like a previous reviewer said. This is like a 10 and under movie. Only reason to even watch this is Chyler Leigh is nice to look at. otherwise file this under - movies they wasted their time creating.

Worst. Movie. Ever.

[funnymatt · 1/10 · 27 July 2002]

I have seen plenty of bad films, but this is by far the worst piece of garbage I have ever subjected myself to. It has it all- bad acting, bad script, bad camera work, bad directing, bad editing, and bad music. Please save yourself from this experience- don't even think about watching it.

Lord oh Lord

[bobbydarko · 1/10 · 13 January 2006]

Yup I agree with the review above on some counts Yes the director/writer could be a genius but in truth this is the worst film I have ever seen, Some work buddies (Paul Mitchel Film) have seen this movie too and agree that as far as movies go this is a must see for anyone who thinks they have seen the worst movie ever think again. This movie had me sat in my seat in amazement I still cant believe now that SKY even show this movie and not just once but multiple showings so you get a chance to see over and over and each time it just seems to get worse.I urge you to buy it and marvel at it and admire how many bad actors pulled out all the stops for this one.

Darko

Freaking Hilarious

[cobitt · 10/10 · 7 January 2005]

I started watching this movie with some college buddies because we were bored and it had such a stupid name. An hour later I was sorry that I had to leave and go to class. This is one of the funniest movies I've seen in the past 5 years. I'm not sure if it's funny on purpose, like the writer/director is some sort of genius, or that it just accidentally ended up this way (I tend to believe the latter). I think that the reason that I find it so hilarious is that it seems completely accidental. It's not like the Naked Gun or Scary Movie movies where everything is supposed to be a joke and you laugh at one out of ten of them. It's really trying to be serious (I think), and the horrible plot, acting, and dialog come off as good as the best written Three Stoodges (with some but much less slapstick). I know everyone won't like this. You definitely must have a good/twisted sense of humor and the ability to put up with stupidity (although the cynic can also have fun watching and pointing out all the various plot holes, inconsistencies, and various actions by characters that make absolutely no sense), but at least 1/2 of the people I've shown it to sense were laughing hysterically at various parts and later laughing more as they imitated some of the lines. I just think everyone should watch this once.

Terrible

[bammy_international · 1/10 · 30 July 2005]

This could actually be the worst movie I have seen, nay, endured. The only reason I can say that I watched this movie to its unforgettable( only for the worst possible reasons) was to see if this movie was going to keep topping itself in its ability to worsen itself in the face of insurmountable odds. Having seen Chyler Leigh in Not Another Teen Movie, I was interested to see her in her only other full length effort to this date. Kickboxing Academy is one of those movies that gives you hope that you could mug a kindergarten child, steal his finger painting, show it to a production company and they will give you several million dollars to waste whilst fooling Z graders into prancing around in front of a Hi-8 to the detriment of their own careers. I would say they regretted doing this instead of porn, because the transition from porn to big budget flicks would have been easier than from this. I say instead of this movie being a skeleton in the closet of all involved, it is a mob of brain eating zombies the likes of the Dawn of the Dead remake ready to burst own and gorge on the rotting flesh of their credibility. Galaxies intentionally imploded rather than giving up their stars with which to rate this movie. I resent IMDb for not having 0 points as a score option for without it my rating is a gross misrepresentation. Give me back the 80 minutes you owe me.

Why do they make films like this?

[The Judge · 4 November 1999]

I had the displeasure of watching this film. Frankly, it has absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever. The acting is horrible, the writing pathetic, the dialog is comical, and if it werent for the occasional good looking teenie-bopper babe walking by, this film would make me violently ill. Whatever you do, do not pay to watch this film. Hell, they should pay YOU!

This was the worst film ever made!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Metta · 1/10 · 12 July 1999]

Rife with cliches and generally pathetic, this movie had no redeeming qualities except for its complete hokiness. Uninspired and infallably impossible, this movie was a waste of the oxygen the "actors" breathed while making it. On the other hand, it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

Hallmark Karate

[saint_brett · 1/10 · 6 November 2022]

I was going to watching 'Ninja 3: Domination' tonight but the DVD was faulty.

So, in its place is this PG-13 children's movie, which has no appeal.

Check out this Dahmer looking kid in the size 16 clown shoes. Him and some other dork get picked on but some hero from 'Pocket Ninjas' jumps out of the shadows and uses his Z-grade acting skills - like the white belt he is - and takes down the three bullies with arthritic stick figure moves.

A Kreese wannabe recalls his time in Nam and blurts out machine gun noises like a five-year-old then calls his students "piss ants." One of them looks like young Kreese from 'Cobra Kai.' This chick ain't 'Lady Dragon,' she looks more like Bob Iger's wife - Willow Bay. She's easy on the eye.

Two opposing dojos compete for students and one uses blackmail and intimidation to oust the other. A challenge is posed but a 24 pack of toilet paper is better than 12 in my opinion.

These actors must have graduated at the academy for special ed students in Slowsville on the outer rim of Nutsville to be in the biz.

It's like a Nickelodeon April Fool's joke on the viewer. Minus the slime.

The son of Dahmer - who's well ripped for his age - looks like Rusty from Walley World now.

Don't become a victim of this movie. That's some pre-advanced warning for any unsuspecting twit daring to venture.

There's not much to report in this gnarly movie as it's still shaking off the rigor mortis from its release in '97. One can dust off cobwebs in seconds but this things rigor mortis sticks like Elvis' glue. (Do you believe that crap about cobwebs being stronger than Kevlar? Is that true?)

This is horrible. But it's rad horrible.

It's like a Life Time movie meets a Hallmark one and was filmed in the hip parts of Malibu for rich kids. They're probably the same kids who were hired for those beach-type Nintendo commercials back in the day. Or Coca-Cola. To think that all these actors would be grown up today and they'd probably be like, "You wanna say that to my face?"

This is an official DVD release I'm watching and it's just a VHS rip.

I'm curious - if one were to find some roadkill on the highway and took it home and baked it, I wonder what it'd smell like? I guess it'd depend on the freshness, eh? I mean, if it was old and outdated, like this movie, then you'd be in trouble, right? But, would you even take the carcass home in the first place? I would if it came with free toilet paper.

This pool fight scene with the snooker balls has to be seen to be believed. (Talk about hard impact.) This is like 'Fred: The Movie' meets 'Super Baby Geniuses 2.' They could have made this movie interesting and be like 'Fred: The Movie' and had musical segments here and there to add to the stupidity.

One kid gets beat up in the poolhall, by snooker balls, then crashes a car while running from embarrassment and he looks like Kevin from 'Fred: The Movie' speak of the devil.

He must have excelled in the top half of his drama class with flying colors to land this role.

54-minutes in and I haven't enjoyed one minute of this movie! Everything's corny.

Remember that kid from 'Parenthood' who used to haul around a brown paper bag full of VHS pornography? I think he just bobbed up at the end here. Looks like him. Adds nothing to the storyline.

This movie's like a compression bandage wrapped around your head that just gets tighter and tighter that it cuts off the blood. No oxygen to the brain equates to 'Kickboxing Academy.' It's like the brainchild of Laurel & Hardy meets The 3 Stooges and crossbred with West Virginian oddballs from the town of Odd.

'Kickboxing Academy' is the abortion that managed to survive and will haunt us till end days. It's man's downfall. This movie could crash the stock market.

Humanity must be held accountable and be made to answer for errors from the past. It's like Ulli Lommel, Tommy Wiseau and Neil Breen had a hand in the blueprints of this project.

This maniac at the end, with his machine gun, is a look into the disturbed mind of the writers of Hollywood. It's not actually comedy but the writing of a psychotic sociopath who finds this hilarious. It's disturbing.

I'll give this movie 1/10 and the whole point goes to 'Lady Dragon' for being pretty to look at with a calm demeanour in the acting department.

But 99% of the actors in this ran on drained heavy duty 6V batteries, not 9V's, but 6V's.

Trust me, you'd wanna graduate from 'Class of Nuke 'Em High' than 'Kickboxing Academy.' And if there's someone you hate this Christmas then give them this movie as a gift and punish them.

My God.

The casting director asked, "Do you want to be in a really bad movie?"

[RabidDuk · 2/10 · 5 May 1999]

This movie ranks up there with "Manos: The Hands of Fate" and "Blazing Stewardesses". I don't even know why I saw those movies in the first place. I wish there was something better on T.V. at the time I saw this movie.

Who Said Kickboxing Was Exciting Hadn't Watched This Film. 1-2-Miss

[P3n-E-W1s3 · 2/10 · 17 May 2022]

Greetings And Salutations, and welcome to my review of Kickboxing Academy; here's the breakdown of my ratings:

Story: 0.25 Direction: 0.25 Pace: 0.50 Acting: 0.75 Enjoyment: 0.50

TOTAL: 2.25 out of 10.00

In the movie business, there are a lot of bandwagons to jump on, and the writers and director of this flick decided to try tethering their horse to the Martial Arts wagon. Not only did they come untethered, but the wheels on their wagon fell off, and for good measure, the horse mule-kicked them in the nethers.

The story's been told many times before, though I cannot remember one worse than Kickboxing Academy. Here's the premise, let's see if it sounds familiar? One group of martial artists deign their team is better than the group across the road. The one across the way believes they are better than the others, who are just bullies. So a contest is set up to demonstrate which of the teams is the best. The winner stays, and the loser leaves. With a simple plot like this, you need to fill the story with honest, relatable, and plausible characters and scenarios. Though the writers try, they miss the mark every time. However, one thing did make me grin. It was the wild west attitude to the heroes and villains. The good guys wear white and the bad guys wear plaid - no they don't, they wear black - Dead Men Wear Plaid, now that's a great film to watch for a laugh.

Sadly, when filmed, due to the director's inexperience, it gets worse and not better. There's not too much I can say. For the most part, the story is shot in the standard point and shoot style at a steady pace. There's not much thought given to composition, except for the end sequence where the bad guy of the picture goes nuts - This is framed pretty well. Shame he waited until the end to get creative. All of the fight sequences could have used quicker cuts and engaging camera angles because the choreography is average and needed umph to add the excitement you should be feeling. If the action bores you, then something is wrong.

Only two of the cast appear to try - Donna Barnes as the Good Sensai, June, and Tom Scalise as Bad Sensai, Maddox. Barnes is more than passible as the teacher and adds a nice softness to her character. Whereas Scalise falls into the Hammy method of over-acting, and because Academy is a comedy, it works pretty well - though it is too reminiscent of GW Bailey as Harris in the Police Academy films, maybe this is what they wanted. The rest range from average to downright terrible - Steven Bauer, who stumbles through his sense with little sense of direction.

I cannot, in all good faith recommend this film to anyone. I don't mind the Comedy fans laughing at me, but I don't want the Martial Art fanatics coming around to show me what real kickboxing looks and feels like. Keep a good round-house kick's distance from this dull travesty.

Please feel free to visit my Holding Out For A Hero and Just For Laughs lists to see where I ranked Kickboxing Academy.

Take Care & Stay Well.

A truly moving and heartwarming cinematic experience

[sauronthegr8 · 1/10 · 9 January 2006]

This is it, folks! The one that will remain with you forever! I know it did for me... This has got to be the absolute worst movie ever made. I saw it once when I was a kid on HBO. On my God! BUT... if you're into this kind of thing, check it out and get ready to laugh your ass off. After this you'll understand why Ed Wood is the most under-appreciated genius of the last fifty years. Compared to this Uwe Boll (I think that's how you spell it) is Stanley Kubrick. Don't accept any substitutes! For an experience that will never leave you no matter how many pills you take nor how many years of psychiatry. Choose kickboxing club as your next film of choice!!!!!!!!!!!

This movie rocks!!!

[jerry-53 · 10/10 · 6 October 1999]

Why do all these adults watch kids movies, then say they suck??? This movie kicks butt and Chyler Leigh is a total babe. The action rocks and the jokes are good too. This is one of the best Kickboxing films I've seen.

Strictly juvenile

[Jimbo-96 · 15 April 1999]

This very forgetable film is intended for the under 17 year old crowd (male and females alike). The kick boxing is pretty tame stuff and otherwise this film would rate a "G". The perky blonde lead, Donna Barnes is the sole reason I went easy on the fast forward button. Look for this film slotted for late afternoon TV. My three stars reflects that the film was professionally made and the pre-teens may actually like the cartoon action.

Awesome

[bevo-13678 · 10/10 · 18 July 2020]

Awesome kickboxing movie. Best brother and sister combo since like and leia

I liked it.

[trinity-28 · 12 June 1999]

I thought the movie was awesome myself, I taped it and watch it at least once a week. It found itself right at home with my Karate movie collection. I thought Christopher Khayman Lee was excellent in it and I hope to see another movie with him in it sometime (hopefully in the near future). I thought that the action was good and that it had some interesting twists that I didn't think would occur the first time I saw it.

Possibly one of the greatest films of all time

[mohammed-amallick · 10/10 · 19 April 2012]

Think of some movies people would call cinematic masterpieces. Of course movies like the Godfather, Seven Samurai, etc come to mind, but i have to include this movie also. Lets break it down. Plot: its a story of a kick boxing school who has had this rivalry with their mortal enemies the other kick boxing school. The story centers around a boy who is desperately needed by his friends to compete in a kick boxing school otherwise they might lose and therefore lose their school. This boy is very well trained in kick boxing and has a strong passion for it, until one day when he nearly killed another person during a tournament match. He contemplates the human condition and questions the morality of such a brutal sport. A sport which puts one man against another in a meaningless fight for the spectators entertainment. He then quits kick boxing until he is called upon by his friends. The boy then goes through a fight between his passion for the sport and his newly enlightened mind that rejected the sport. The plot is nothing less than amazing. It really goes into subjects such as ethics, human psychology,the philosophy of good and bad and much more. Next lets discuss Character development: if i were to compare it (in terms of character development) to another movie it would have to be Requiem for a Dream. It is nothing short of Oscar worthy. We can clearly see and feel the pain the main character feels when he fights with his subconscious when he is asked to kick box again. In conclusion this is one of the greatest movies of all time with out a doubt. If you ever have the time please watch this movie it is simply amazing and if you don't have the time make time it is that good.

This reeks!

[mrbiggs7 · 17 November 1999]

Now, I have sat through some bad pieces before like Evil Toons and Femalien 2, but this ranks right up there. The plot is unbelievably unoriginal: "evil" rival martial arts school teams up with corporate fuddy-duddy to take over the good martial arts school. Gee, where have I more or less seen this before? (Karate Kid 1 & 3, Sidekicks, several TV shows, etc.) The script is badly written (You have to learn to put the past beside you, It's time I learned to put the past behind me, A chick kicked your butt, etc.) As a martial arts movie, it's lacking. All of your basic moves are performed since half of the cast has no background in fighting and were quickly trained for some fight scenes. The whole thing is just so predictable it's silly. The only thing I enjoyed were 5 moves and Chris Lee (the former Red Ranger and now on some WB show) with teenage facial hair. One user already put it best, don't pay to see this movie. They should pay you. I can make a better movie than this and one day I will to make up for this movie ever being made.