Jiminy Glick in Lalawood (2004)

Martin Short: Jiminy Glick, David Lynch

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jiminy Glick : If it's human waste, save some for me.

• Jiminy Glick : [voiceover while interviewing Rob Lowe]  Isn't it amazing, just 6 months ago, when I was talking to Arlene Shayhee, I was so bored. Here I am talking to Brat-packer Rob Lowe...

  Rob Lowe : I... me... me... I... I... me... I...

  Jiminy Glick : [voiceover]  ... and I'm equally bored. What have I learned, I wonder. Ah yes, celebrities can be dull.

• Jiminy Glick : I'm one of those guys that needs it regular, ya know? Sometimes Dixie's awake for it, most of the time she's not.

  Ben DiCarlo : Ambien and some KY, right?

  Jiminy Glick : HAH! Ambien and KY! You know, for the longest time I was taking the KY orally! It's not necessary!

• Jiminy Glick : My, that's a nice beaver.

  Dixie Glick : Why, thank you.

  Jiminy Glick : [Jiminy points at a stuffed beaver]  No.

  Dixie Glick : Oh.

  Jiminy Glick : Although yours is nicely... shaped.

• Jiminy Glick : Oprah Winfrey, how do you do what you do so consistently?

  Whoopi Goldberg : I stomp on everyone I can.

  Jiminy Glick : And you're despised by so many. But not by me.

  Whoopi Goldberg : I live for that. And remember to spell my name right. O-P-E-R-A.

• Jiminy Glick : And you're Canadian, I hear. What's that about?

  Kiefer Sutherland : Well this is a fantastic country. Uhm. What's that about?

  Jiminy Glick : That was my question dear.

  Kiefer Sutherland : I know. I'm trying to... I've never actually had to...

  Jiminy Glick : Eventually the show will start. Don't you wanna just finally answer it?

  Kiefer Sutherland : Yeah, what's that about? For me it's been a fantastic... it's where I come from, and it's um...

  Jiminy Glick : What?

  Kiefer Sutherland : Canada!

  Jiminy Glick : You're Canadian? I didn't know that.

  Kiefer Sutherland : Yes, it's true.

• Jiminy Glick : [pointing at Toronto's C.N. Tower]  That's a phallic-looking thing! Remind you of anybody?

  Dixie Glick : No.

• Jiminy Glick : The film, "Growing up Gandhi", ha! I loved it, as I said in my review. It's really going to be a huge success.

  Ben DiCarlo : Yeah.

  Jiminy Glick : And he was... Persian?

  Ben DiCarlo : Indian.

  Jiminy Glick : [annoyed expression]  Beh. He was not "from here".

• Jiminy Glick : [one of the outtakes]  And you were a cheerleader.

  Steve Martin : I was, in high school.

  Jiminy Glick : [effeminate tone]  Yoo-hoo!

  [normal voice] 

  Jiminy Glick : Ha ha! Everyone must've stared at ya! Talk about bein' gay!

  [Steve cracks up] 

  Jiminy Glick : What was that about? Why wouldn't you join the team, like normal fellas? Why would you wanna get the pom-poms and go and be like a big silly "Yoo-hoo!"?

• Jiminy Glick : You know, Kevin Kline, he had an attitude I didn't appreciate.

  Dixie Glick : Really?

  Jiminy Glick : Yes, he did.

  Dixie Glick : I found him delightful.

  Jiminy Glick : I loved him in "Sophie's Choice". I don't remember anything else he's done, and I told him that. And suddenly he looks at me like I'm like this idiot or this fool. And you know what? I resented that. And suddenly I decided that I hated him in "Sophie's Choice".

• Jiminy Glick : Let's talk about communists.

  Steve Martin : In Hollywood?

  Jiminy Glick : In Hollywood. Are they still "pulling the strings"? You read this, that they're pulling the strings. How does Steve Martin feel about such things that I just said?

  Steve Martin : There's a lot of communism in Hollywood, a lot of people are communists.

  Jiminy Glick : No! To this day?

  Steve Martin : Yes, a lot of...

  Jiminy Glick : Operating the studios?

  Steve Martin : Yes they are.

  Jiminy Glick : Running the town?

  Steve Martin : But I would never, uh, y'know, name names.

  Jiminy Glick : You wouldn't name names?

  Steve Martin : No, I would not name names.

  Jiminy Glick : Like if I said Meg Ryan...

  Steve Martin : Communist. Yeah. Absolutely.

  Jiminy Glick : Meg Ryan is a communist?

  Steve Martin : Exactly.

  Jiminy Glick : "The girl next door" is the "red girl next door"?

  Steve Martin : Absolutely.

  Jiminy Glick : Oh, that's stunning.

  Steve Martin : Tom Hanks.

  Jiminy Glick : [astonished]  Tom Hanks!

  Steve Martin : Uma Thurman.

  Jiminy Glick : I knew that. That I've heard. I've heard that.

• Kevin Kline : Excuse me, can I help you?

  Jiminy Glick : You're just wonderful.

  Kevin Kline : Well, thank you. And you are...?

  Jiminy Glick : Jiminy Glick.

  Kevin Kline : Jiminy?

  Jiminy Glick : Jiminy Glick.

  [They shake hands] 

  Kevin Kline : Jiminy Glick.

  Jiminy Glick : I'm covering this. Some press. We're doing some interviews.

  Kevin Kline : Oh, very good. You're from - you're local?

  Jiminy Glick : I'm from the Middle West. Butte, Montana.

  Kevin Kline : Butte, Montana?

  Jiminy Glick : Yes.

  Kevin Kline : And you're in Toronto?

  Jiminy Glick : Well, it's so weird they sent me here...

  Kevin Kline : There are no Film Festivals in Butte?

• David Lynch : My name is David Lynch. I'm a director.

  Jiminy Glick : Well, who isn't, dear?