Dinosaurs (TV Series)
License to Parent (1992)
Michael McKean: Officer Bettleheim
Quotes
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Earl Sinclair : Surely we can talk about this. After all, this is kind of a coincidence.
Officer Bettleheim : A coincidence? How?
Earl Sinclair : Well, that ticket has my name on it, and I do believe this crisp one dollar bill has your name on it. Wouldn't you call that a coincidence?
Officer Bettleheim : No, I would call that a cheap attempt at bribery.
Earl Sinclair : What if it was a five? What? Oh, come on, you're not giving me another ticket.
Officer Bettleheim : Section 9, Paragraph 4, setting a bad moral example for a child.
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Robbie Sinclair : It's a long story.
Officer Bettleheim : I like stories. I like 'em just fine.
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Officer Bettleheim : You're once, twice, three times a loser, lady.
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Officer Bettleheim : Mr. Sinclair, you weren't engaged in any unlicensed parenting, were you?
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Charlene Sinclair : Oh, Officer Bettleheim?
Officer Bettleheim : What?
Charlene Sinclair : Did I mention Robbie scratched the car when he rammed into your motorcycle?
Robbie Sinclair : *You're dead*!
Officer Bettleheim : My... my *what*!
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Officer Bettleheim : License please.
[Earl shows him]
Officer Bettleheim : Not your driver's license, your parent's license. I'm with the Parent Patrol, and you're in a lot of trouble, Mister.
Fran Sinclair : Well, Earl, see what happens when you lose your temper?
Earl Sinclair : Oh please. He's just the Parent Patrol, it's not like he's the real police.
Officer Bettleheim : Beg your pardon?
Earl Sinclair : Oh nothing. So what's the problem, Officer, did I stop in a No Diapering zone?
Officer Bettleheim : Parent Code Section 7, Paragraph 3, a crying child must be handled with sympathy and patience. You were screaming at the boy, Mr. Sinclair. I'm giving you a citation, just like the real police.