Dinosaurs (TV Series)

License to Parent (1992)

Jessica Walter: Fran Sinclair

Quotes 

• Fran Sinclair : [to Officer Bettleheim]  Maybe if you had experience as a real parent, you'd know how to handle children without pulling a gun.

  Earl Sinclair : Not that I haven't considered that myself.

• Fran Sinclair : Earl, do you have to spend every spare second reading that manual? It's just a car.

  Earl Sinclair : Frannie, you are such a female. First of all, it's a brand new car, and as such, it is a reflection of who I am.

  Fran Sinclair : It is a bulky, bottom-of-the-line fuel guzzler with no pick-up, no options, and it's completely owned by the bank.

  Earl Sinclair : Love you, too.

• Earl Sinclair : It's quite simple. You have to be selective in order to be effective.

  Fran Sinclair : Oh shut up.

• Fran Sinclair : Maybe I've learned something today. Good parenting does come from here.

  [points to heart] 

  Fran Sinclair : But when you need a little help, you can find it here.

  [points to parenting manual] 

  Earl Sinclair : So you're saying it's not black or white, it's a little bit of both? Gee, now there's something you don't see on TV.

• Fran Sinclair : [They are driving to the doctor's office]  How about a cupcake?

  Baby Sinclair : Ooh, cupcake.

  Earl Sinclair : [driving]  You're giving a kid a cupcake in a new car? What are you thinking about?

  Fran Sinclair : Him. He gets a little nervous whenever I take him to the pediatrician so I'm trying to make the whole experience a little more positive. It's called parenting, Earl.

  Earl Sinclair : Oh, please. I've been parenting for 15 years, nobody has to tell me how to be a good dad.

  [to Baby] 

  Earl Sinclair : You get one crumb on that seat, and you're crawling home, buster.

• Officer Bettleheim : License please.

  [Earl shows him] 

  Officer Bettleheim : Not your driver's license, your parent's license. I'm with the Parent Patrol, and you're in a lot of trouble, Mister.

  Fran Sinclair : Well, Earl, see what happens when you lose your temper?

  Earl Sinclair : Oh please. He's just the Parent Patrol, it's not like he's the real police.

  Officer Bettleheim : Beg your pardon?

  Earl Sinclair : Oh nothing. So what's the problem, Officer, did I stop in a No Diapering zone?

  Officer Bettleheim : Parent Code Section 7, Paragraph 3, a crying child must be handled with sympathy and patience. You were screaming at the boy, Mr. Sinclair. I'm giving you a citation, just like the real police.