Frasier (TV Series)

Mother Load: Part 2 (2002)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Quotes 

• [Frasier sits dejectedly on the couch, clutching an empty wine bottle. Daphne walks in, past the American flag covering the windows] 

  Daphne Moon : Still awake, Dr. Crane?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Yes. It's almost dawn's early light, and our flag is still there.

• [late at night, Simon has brought a women to Frasier's apartment] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : I'm sorry, miss, but we are not entertaining guests this evening. You'll have to leave.

  Loretta : [to Simon]  Wait - you told me this was your place. You're probably not even the Duke of England.

  Simon Moon : Oh, yeah? Then why do I talk this way?

  Simon Moon : [to Frasier]  Well, you're just a big contraceptive, aren't you?

• Martin Crane : Face it, Fras: Cam's got you on this one. Boy, I have to say, that guy is smart.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh, really? Well, if he's so smart and you're so smart, why don't you two live together?

  Martin Crane : At least he's got a view.

• Dr. Frasier Crane : I've just about had it with you, Simon. You have blown my speakers, you have clogged my jacuzzi, and you have ingested half of my bath products. You are no longer welcome in my home.

  Simon Moon : What, exactly, are you implying?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [shoving Simon through the door]  Get out!

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Daphne! As a subject of the British realm, does it make you feel uncomfortable to have your residence draped in the American flag? And if so, would you be willing to say that at a condo board meeting?

  Daphne Moon : Personally, I find it a cozy reminder of the land I dreamed of living in as a child.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [defeated]  Off I go.

• [lamenting Cam Winston's enormous American flag hung from above, which covers every window of Frasier's apartment] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Every time I look outside, I feel like I'm living inside a giant clown's pocket.