Frasier (TV Series)

Mother Load: Part 2 (2002)

Jane Leeves: Daphne Moon

Quotes 

• [Frasier sits dejectedly on the couch, clutching an empty wine bottle. Daphne walks in, past the American flag covering the windows] 

  Daphne Moon : Still awake, Dr. Crane?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Yes. It's almost dawn's early light, and our flag is still there.

• Daphne Moon : Oh, my God, look at me - I'm shaking! It just came gushing out. Once I started, I couldn't stop.

  Dr. Niles Crane : I know, it's all right, it's all right - you were great. You were great - I have never been prouder of you.

  Daphne Moon : I can't believe I talked to my mother that way.

  Dr. Niles Crane : You must have been pretty outraged to have invented all those former lovers.

  Daphne Moon : What?

• Daphne Moon : [to her mother]  Oh, and by the way: I'm no virgin - haven't been for years. You remember that boy with the lazy eye you hated so much? Yeah, he was my first! Did it right in the parlor where you take your tea. Then, there was the German who fixed Dad's car. Oh yeah, and that Irish chap I fancied, who was twice my age and had his own van - and a band! Then I came to America. Shall I go on? Well, I am a grown woman, who's made her own life and her own decisions. Now, I plan to shack up with Niles here, and damned if we aren't gonna do it every night of the week.

  [Niles displays an uncomfortable grin] 

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Daphne! As a subject of the British realm, does it make you feel uncomfortable to have your residence draped in the American flag? And if so, would you be willing to say that at a condo board meeting?

  Daphne Moon : Personally, I find it a cozy reminder of the land I dreamed of living in as a child.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [defeated]  Off I go.

• Daphne Moon : It was a good idea, taking Mum out today - helped take her mind off Dad.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Yeah, although I'm not sure the zoo was the best idea. The sight of those amorous wolverines seemed to set her back a bit.

  Daphne Moon : Amorous? I thought they were trying to kill each other.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Well, either way, it seemed to remind her of something.

• Gertrude Moon : [from the living room]  I'm still waiting out here!

  [Irritably, Daphne pokes her head out of the kitchen] 

  Daphne Moon : It's coming! Pipe down!

  Gertrude Moon : Why? Am I interrupting your dirty sex?