Futurama (TV Series)

Mother's Day (2000)

Billy West: Philip J. Fry, Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth, Dr. Zoidberg, Coffee Machine, Garbage Disposal

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mom : You broke my heart, Hubert.

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : And you broke mine. Granted, that was four or five hearts ago.

• Amy Wong : But the professor can't walk all the way to the Bronx. How are we going to get there without a hovercar?

  Philip J. Fry : Wait. In my time we had a way of moving objects long distances without hovering.

  Hermes Conrad : Impossible!

  Philip J. Fry : It was called... let me think... It was really famous. Ruth Gordon had one... The wheel.

  Turanga Leela : Never heard of it.

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Show us this "the wheel."

• Philip J. Fry : What happens if the fire goes out?

  Hermes Conrad : We'll go across the street to Pottery Barn and steal their fire.

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : We can use my new invention. A pointy rock tied to a stick.

• Philip J. Fry : You mean you and mom...

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Played pelvic pinochle? I'm afraid so.

  [everyone gasps in disgust] 

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : It's a humiliating story that I hoped never to tell. Well, pull up a chair.

• Mom : What have you been up to all these years?

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Oh, inventing, sending delivery crews to their doom, breeding atomic monsters.

  Mom : Honestly, Hubert. You and your atomic monsters.

• Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Just the thought of caressing that leathery hide makes the tapioca rise in my gullet.

  Philip J. Fry : Professor, please. The fate of the world depends on you getting to second base with Mom.

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Very well. If cop a feel I must, then cop a feel I shall.

• Philip J. Fry : Hey! The tv's getting away!

• Professor Hubert Farnsworth : And now I want to shout our love from the rooftops. Perhaps I'll breed some sort of albino shouting gorilla...

• Philip J. Fry : We can live without machines. I was in Webelos

• Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Good news! There's a report on TV with some bad news.

• Mom : Darling Hubie, I should never have tried to tamper with that cute Q.T. McWhiskers.

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : No, it was silly of me to object. One foot tall, Eight-feet, fifteen-feet, what does it matter?

  Mom : You should see the new sixteen-foot models.

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Sixteen feet? Go to hell! I was a fool to think you'd changed!

  Mom : Filthy toothless nerd bastard!

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Damnded she-fossil!

  Mom : STINKPIG!

  [Mom and Professor Farnsworth passionately kiss] 

• Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Good news, Mom. I've invented a new childrens toy. I call it Q.T. McWhiskers. When you pet it, it shoots rainbows from its eyes.

  Mom : Wonderful, Hubie. We'll build them eight feet tall and replace the rainbows with neutron lasers. We'll make billions on the intergalactic arms market.

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : But things eight-feet tall aren't cute. That's why my Colossal Tammy Tinkle doll was such a failure.

• Philip J. Fry : Hey, who's this guy?

  Robot Janitor : I'm the janitor. Tryin' to take a nap, here.

  Philip J. Fry : I'm sorry, I thought you were made of wax.

  Robot Janitor : I *am* made of wax, what's it to you?

  Philip J. Fry : I mean, I thought you were one of the wax robots.

  Robot Janitor : Is there some reason a robot made of wax can't take a nap standing up in the middle of a bunch of wax robots? Or does that *confuse* you?