Just Shoot Me! (TV Series)

My Dinner with Woody (1997)

Ed Crasnick: Woody Allen

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dennis Finch : Maya Gallo, presenting the great Woody Allen.

  Woody Allen : Please, the great Woody will do fine.

  Dennis Finch : Also, Mark Twain called, can't make it for racquetball.

• Woody Allen : Maya, come have dinner with me. I know this place that's so trendy the waiters insult themselves.

• Elliot DiMauro : You should watch out, pal.

  Woody Allen : You better watch out... cause that's a nice shirt and I'm a bleeder.

• Maya Gallo : Very funny, but to quote the real Woody Allen, if you'll excuse me, I'm due back on Planet Earth.

  Woody Allen : I love it when women quote me.

• Maya Gallo : Woody, we need to talk.

  Woody Allen : Geez. That's what the guys at Orion said when they showed me the grosses for Zelig.

• Woody Allen : [talking to the camera]  So that's how it ended. She was a great girl, maybe even the love of my life, but that's the way it goes.

  Maya Gallo : What are you doing?

  Woody Allen : I did see her one more time.

• Dennis Finch : Maya, Woody Allen again.

  Maya Gallo : Urgh! I told you not to call me until you got help!

  Woody Allen : [on phone]  Uh, I'm holding for Maya Gallo.

  Maya Gallo : Preston, I know it's you! You don't even sound like Woody Allen anymore!

  Woody Allen : Preston? Who-who's Preston? This is Woody Allen. I just called to say that I read your piece and I think that you're a great writer.

  [as Woody talks, Preston appears with a bouquet of flowers; Maya stands aghast as he sees him and realizes she has been talking to the real Woody Allen] 

  Woody Allen : [a.k.a Preston]  Hi.

  Woody Allen : Although, you know, not the best conversationalist.

• Jack Gallo : I can't wait to tell my wife I was just in the men's room with Woody Allen.

  Woody Allen : I can't wait to go home and change my shoes.

• Woody Allen : Nice kid. He's like the Von Trapp they left behind.

• Maya Gallo : [catches "Woody" spying through her window and screams]  What are you doing?

  Woody Allen : At the moment, I'm having a major heart attack. I haven't heard screaming like that since I told Tony Roberts he couldn't be in Purple Rose of Cairo.

• Woody Allen : I know why you don't like me. You're an anti-semite. Why don't you go to your dark room and develop the master race?