Drawn Together (TV Series)

A Very Special Drawn Together After School Special (2006)

Jack Plotnick: Xandir P Whifflebottom

Quotes 

• Wooldoor Sockbat : [the housemates are role-playing, Wooldoor speaks to Xandir]  "Now, you be the gay's dad".

  Xandir : "Oh, O.K".

  [deeper voice] 

  Xandir : "I love football!"

  [slaps Toot, who is Xandir's mother] 

  Xandir : .

  Wooldoor Sockbat : [points to Captain Hero]  "And you be the gay".

  Captain Hero : [as Xandir's father]  "I ain't gonna be no homo!".

  Wooldoor Sockbat : "Fine, you be Xandir's mum".

  Captain Hero : [as Xandir's mother in a higher voice]  "Alright, I'm asking for this!"

  [slaps himself] 

  Captain Hero : .

  Toot Braunstein : [Angrily]  "Then who the hell am I?".

  Wooldoor Sockbat : "You're the homo".

  Toot Braunstein : [wistfully]  "Can I be the dad?".

  Wooldoor Sockbat : "Fine, you be Stan".

  Xandir : [confused]  "Then who the hell am I?".

  Toot Braunstein : [angrily, as Xandir's father]  "The queer!"

  [punches Captain Hero, who is Xandir's mother] 

  Toot Braunstein : .

  Wooldoor Sockbat : [disappointed]  "I wanted to be the queer!".

• Toot Braunstein : [roleplaying as Xandir's father]  I'm the man of this house and nobody disrespects me! Now you get out of here and never come back!

  Xandir : But I'm your son!

  Toot Braunstein : My son is dead!

  [She begins the Jewish mourner's ritual, ripping part of her dress and reciting the Aramaic prayer of Kaddish] 

  Toot Braunstein : Yitgadal veyitkadash shemeyh raba... .