Vampire Chicks with Chainsaws (2006 Video) User Reviews

Vampire Chicks With Chainsaws

[a_baron · 6/10 · 17 May 2015]

Where to begin? The title is unquestionably the worst thing about this film, but it doesn't get much better. True, it is said to have been made on a budget of a thousand dollars, and it is an order of magnitude superior to 'Snoopy Green's Vampire Movie', but that is less a compliment than an insult.

Actually, the budget cited is probably not realistic, even if the entire cast worked for free. There are several familiar elements in the film: the chase for one, the problem is it is all chase, or nearly all of it. The narration - first person singular is another; a third is the classic misunderstanding in which a totally innocent party gets roped into something by being in the wrong place at the wrong time, mistaken for someone else, or some such. Here though it is not spies, drugs, something illegal or clandestine, but vampires and...

The and...is the strong part of the film, indeed the only strong part; Earth is home not only to Man and vampires but Man, vampires and a third party. The latter two have been engaged in a centuries long hidden war which has now spilled out into the open, well, into the backwoods where "Vampire Chicks..." was filmed.

Does it end happily? It may if it is remade say ten years from now in an urban setting with both a meaningful budget and a decent script.

Not only did he steal my wife, he stole my pigs

[nogodnomasters · 2/10 · 13 January 2018]

The title gave me low expectations. It didn't quite make the "so bad it is good" category, but managed to get into a "so bad it is bad" although some might place it in the former category. The plot consists of vampires with chainsaws (why chainsaws I don't know, they can kill a guy with their bare hands). They are in battle with the "Outlanders" who are aliens with fluorescent green blood, a one trick pony from film academy.

Quinn (Adam Abram) gets caught up in the middle of the fight while lamenting the lost of of his wife Rhonda (Deb Lee) to Jim-Bob (Jed Ivie). He bores us with his dry monotone dialogue used as a way to make this a film for the blind, perhaps the best way to "watch" this production as I could imagine something much better than what was on the screen.

The acting was horrible. There was no chainsaw safety. No gloves, eye googles, and chicks running with chainsaw. Now the only real time a chainsaw operated was on a cut away to cut a piece of wood, otherwise the chain never moved, we just heard varying degrees of noise. These chainsaws start without a pull cord, at a touch of a button...except they don't really operate, they just make noise. I also don't understand why you operate a chainsaw when attempting to sneak up on the non-deaf.

The poorly shot chainsaw scenes provided for some unintentional entertainment, but not a reason to watch a film, unless you a film on what not to do in a chainsaw film. Dry, boring, poorly acted.

Guide: No swearing, sex, nudity, or acting.