Family Guy (TV Series)

The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2007)

Alex Borstein: Lois Griffin, Fran Drescher, Wisconsin Nymphomaniac

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lois Griffin : Peter, you get down from that tree this instant!

  Peter Griffin : No! You're gonna yell at me!

  Lois Griffin : You're damn right I'm gonna yell at you. You beat up a 13-year-old boy!

  Peter Griffin : He called me names!

  Lois Griffin : You're 43 and you just assaulted our neighbor's child! This is a very serious situation!

  Peter Griffin : Well, maybe you should have just had an abortion, Lois! Would that make you happy if I was never born?

  Lois Griffin : What?

  Peter Griffin : I'm going to prison, aren't I?

• Peter Griffin : Hey, there. Kyle? Hey, I'm Chris Griffin's father.

  Kyle : [mocking tone of voice]  "Hey, I'm Chris Griffin's father."

  Peter Griffin : Now, that's not very nice. I don't sound like that at all. You're making me sound like Michael Stipe. Listen, I-I just want you to know what you did the other day was wrong.

  Kyle : [still mocking]  "What you did the other day was wrong."

  Peter Griffin : You're not making this easy, Kyle.

  Kyle : "You're not making this easy, Kyle. My name's Peter Griffin. I'm a big, fat, dumb butt-face."

  Peter Griffin : Shut up, Kyle.

  Kyle : "I'm Peter Griffin. I'm a dorky, fat numbnuts."

  Peter Griffin : Kyle, I said shut up.

  Kyle : You're a poop-nose.

  [Peter proceeds to beat him up; sneaking out of the house, he returns home and sits down on the couch next to Brian] 

  Brian Griffin : Hey, Peter.

  Peter Griffin : Hey, what's going on?

  Brian Griffin : Is something wrong?

  Peter Griffin : [nervously calm]  No, no, no, no, no, no, e-everything's... everything's cool right now. Might be some problems later, but, uh, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

  Lois Griffin : [answering the ringing phone]  Hello? Peter did what?

  Peter Griffin : Well, I'd best be getting to work.

  Brian Griffin : It's nighttime.

  Peter Griffin : Boy, you said it. All right, take it easy.

• Lois Griffin : Oh, my God, look at Stewie! Peter, you took him out without any sunscreen?

  Peter Griffin : Maybe.

  Lois Griffin : You know the sun is dangerous for a baby's skin. Peter, this is more irresponsible than when you fed your Mogwai after midnight.

  [cut to them in the kitchen] 

  Lois Griffin : Peter, didn't the little Chinese man tell you not to feed him after midnight?

  Peter Griffin : Oh, come on, Lois, he's so cute. And he's hungry. What could go wrong?

  [taking a bite of food, it shapeshifts] 

  Fran Drescher : Hello, I'm Fran Drescher.

  [her patented annoying laugh] 

  Peter Griffin , Lois Griffin : AHHHHH!

  Peter Griffin : Kill it! Kill it!

• Lois Griffin : [learning Chris got beaten up by a bully]  Peter, I think one of us should go over and have a talk with Kyle's parents.

  Peter Griffin : I'll do it, Lois. Right after a healthy breakfast of juice, toast, and store brand imitation Frosted Flakes featuring Terry the Tiger.

  Terry the Tiger : They'rrree... food!

• Stewie : [pulling up to Meg and Lois on the couch in a toy car]  Hey, ladies, you mind if I park here? I'll only be a few minutes.

  Lois Griffin : Stewie, what is that on your lip?

  Stewie : Oh, I drew a pencil mustache. I like it 'cause it's just above my lip. The kind of mustache that says "Yeah, I've been nude on camera. What of it?"

  Lois Griffin : Come here, I'll take care of that, sweetie.

  Stewie : [picking him up, she licks her thumb and wipes it off]  Ew, ew, it's got spit all over it. Ugh, now I know what it's like to have dinner with Martin Landau.