Family Guy (TV Series)

The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2007)

Patrick Warburton: Joe Swanson

Quotes 

• Peter Griffin : [Joe hits his ball onto the green.]  Hey Joe?

  Joe Swanson : Don't say it Peter.

  Peter Griffin : No I was just wondering...

  Joe Swanson : Peter, I swear to god.

  Peter Griffin : What's your handicap?

  Joe Swanson : [sarcastic laugh]  Oh my god, every hole that's a joke that just doesn't get old.

• Glenn Quagmire : [playing golf, he hits his ball into the rough]  God damn it! Come on! Come on!

  [bleeped profanity] 

  Glenn Quagmire : Come on, Glenn! Come on, get your head in the goddamn game!

  [yelling, he throws his golf bag in frustration] 

  Joe Swanson : Hey, do you think it's time to talk to Quagmire about his anger issues with this game?

  Cleveland Brown : A white man shouldn't play sports in the first place.

• Glenn Quagmire : Hey, hey, hey, hey, that's a stroke!

  Peter Griffin : I just tapped my ball, Quagmire. Relax.

  Glenn Quagmire : Oh, relax? Oh, okay.

  [putting a ball on the ground] 

  Glenn Quagmire : Oh, oh, look, I just tapped my ball. Oh, I just tapped it again. Oh, oh, tap, tap, tap. Oh, where is it? Oh! It's in the hole. Eagle! Yay, Quagmire!

  [bending his club over his knee, he throws it against the cart] 

  Joe Swanson : Hey, Quagmire, you know it's not fun when you're like this.

  Glenn Quagmire : You want fun? Go home and buy a monkey.

  Cleveland Brown : What does that even mean?

  Glenn Quagmire : I don't know.

  [looking up at the sky] 

  Glenn Quagmire : Boy, we got a beautiful day for this.

• Joe Swanson : Peter, are you sure you're allowed to bring a baby onto the golf course?

  Peter Griffin : Well, Lois asked me to watch Stewie for the afternoon. It's all right, I don't think the club'll mind. It's Cleveland I'm worried about.

  Cleveland Brown : [wearing a mask of Richard Nixon]  Peter, is this really necessary? I can't hardly see anything.

  Golf : [passing by with a partner]  Hey, look, it's President Nixon.

  [Cleveland raises the mask] 

  Golf : No, wait, it's a black guy.

  [he puts it back on] 

  Golf : No, it's Nixon.