Just the Ten of Us (TV Series)
Strangers in the Night (1988)
Bill Kirchenbauer: Coach Graham T. Lubbock
Quotes
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Coach Graham T. Lubbock : [addressing wayward daughters Wendy, Cindy and Connie] Wait a minute! You're telling me all three of you were out last night parked on Old Johnson Road?
Sherry Lubbock : [still there] Must have been a big car.
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : Out! Out, out, out, out, out, out, out!
Sherry Lubbock : [huffily leaving] I think I'll go now.
-
Elizabeth Lubbock : Marie, honey, do you know anything about this?
Marie Lubbock : [sincerely] Only that you shouldn't blame yourselves. You did the best you could with what you had.
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : [annoyed] Pray for us!
Marie Lubbock : I will.
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : No, I mean now! Go!
[she rushes off]
Elizabeth Lubbock : [left with the three suspects] All right, now I wanna know what this was all about. Cindy?
Cindy Lubbock : All right, Mom, I'll tell you, but you're not gonna believe it. You see, I didn't sneak out anywhere last night. The only reason I stood up, was because... and this may sound like a stupid reason...
Constance "Connie" Lubbock : [snidely] I think we can count on that.
Cindy Lubbock : [glaring at Connie] The only reason I stood up was because you said that this bad thing had to do with the hottest Lubbock babe, and I do have my reputation to protect...
Constance "Connie" Lubbock : [impatiently] Aw!
Cindy Lubbock : ...so I just figured...
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : Cindy! Your lip...!
Elizabeth Lubbock : [to Cindy] Wait a minute, come to think of it, your new sweater has grass stains all over it, and I found your pink shoes soaking wet.
Cindy Lubbock : What? Thanks a lot, Wendy! Just see if I'll lend you my clothes next time you're desperate to drive some hunk wild!
Elizabeth Lubbock : Is this true, Wendy?
Wendy Lubbock : Which part?
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : All right, Cindy, you can go.
Cindy Lubbock : [on a roll and not about to quit] I just think that something should be said about borrowing a person's property, and return...
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : Not now!
Cindy Lubbock : But those were really, really expensive shoes!
Elizabeth Lubbock : Out!
[Cindy goes]
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : Thank you.
Elizabeth Lubbock : My pleasure.
-
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : I don't know, I'm just not all that comfortable talking about all this sex business.
Elizabeth Lubbock : Oh, I know, honey, you aren't even all that comfortable doing it.
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : Why can't kids be just like we were? Stupid, and scared and ashamed. Maybe it's time we put some good old-fashioned honest healthy terror into them.
-
Wendy Lubbock : You, uh, wanted to see me, Daddy?
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : Yeah, there are some things about boys and girls you and I have to talk about.
Wendy Lubbock : Dad, I've already had your sex lecture.
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : Yeah, well, obviously the hockey analogy didn't sink in. Sit down.
[ushers her to a chair and she sits down]
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : So, I suppose I'm gonna have to cut to the chase.
Wendy Lubbock : [perks up] Chase? Ooh!
[shiver of excitement]
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : Just listen. Now, I'm gonna have to use some words here that you don't usually hear in mixed company. Dating is like a baseball game. Girls are on one side, and boys are on the other. Except in the game of dating, girls are only allowed to play defense.
[she understands, nods]
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : Now, every boy dreams about
[pretends swinging baseball bat]
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : knocking one out of the park. And when you sneak out late at night without telling us, you're not only giving that guy a big lead-off, but you can't call in your big righty if he happens to hit a bloop single. You gotta think of them all as Casey at the bat. And it's your job to make sure that there's no joy in Mudville ever.
Wendy Lubbock : [something sinks in, but she doesn't quite understand] So where is this Mudville?
-
Wendy Lubbock : [as they continue the baseball/dating analogy] Right. So if the quarterback is trying an end run, I should let my backfield handle it?
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : [exasperated] No! No! No!
Wendy Lubbock : I should call a time-out?
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : [giving up] Forget sports altogether.
Wendy Lubbock : [not sincere] Well, what if I just promise never ever to do it again, or something like that?
[Dad realizes he's being fooled, but then, a fanfare rings out in his head]
Wendy Lubbock : Dad?
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : Wendy... it's time I let you in on a little secret. You see, God has given fathers a very special secret gift. You see, whatever you're doing, no matter where you are, God lets me know what you're doing.
Wendy Lubbock : [smirks] You're putting me on.
[laughs]
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : Nope. So you don't have to promise me anything. You see, wherever one of my little girls is holding hands, I'll be there. Anytime one of you is in the back seat of a car with a boy, I'll be there. Or some boy is spouting off in a locker room about any of you, I'll be there too.
[firm jaw]
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : And deep inside, you'll know it. Anytime you turn around or look over your shoulder, you'll swear you see me ducking behind a telephone pole. And when you start walking again, you'll swear you hear my footsteps behind you close enough to hear your every thought. For example, right now you're thinking "boy, if this is, like, true, I can't get away with diddly."
Wendy Lubbock : [mouth gaping] Wow.
-
Elizabeth Lubbock : [as they're lying in bed] So, I have Connie's word that she'll talk to me before she does anything disgusting or deeply meaningful.
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : Hmm. Not too bad, honey.
Elizabeth Lubbock : So, how did it go with Wendy?
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : Well, with Wendy, I took a slightly different approach.
[guffaws]
Elizabeth Lubbock : Uh-oh.
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : Well, I'm... I'm kind of ashamed, but what the hell.
[guffaws]
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : I told Wendy that I have some sort of a sixth sense and that I can tell what she's doing whether I'm around or not.
Elizabeth Lubbock : [giggling] And she believed it?
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : Uh-huh.
[laughs]
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : Well,
[in weird accent:]
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : the old coach-a-roo is quite a trickster.
[hears something, sits bolt upright]
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : Cindy, what the hell are you doing up at this hour of night?
Cindy Lubbock : [heard from downstairs] I was just making sure the front door is locked.
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : Well, get back in bed right now!
[to Elizabeth:]
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : The nerve of that kid!
[softly:]
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : Wait a minute!
[switches on light, gets out of bed]
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : Maybe I do have a sixth sense! Maybe I can read minds!
Elizabeth Lubbock : Oh, honey!
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : No, wait a minute! Let's see if I can tell what you are thinking right now.
[puts fingers to temples in corny mind-reading pose]
Coach Graham T. Lubbock : I got it! Shut up, turn off the light, and get back in bed, you sexy devil!