Table for Three (2009)

Sophia Bush: Mary

Quotes 

• Scott : You guys are shit-faced.

  Ryan : [drunk]  How dare... you.

  Mary : That is silly. I am sober as a fucking judge.

• Mary : Scott! We have a contract.

  Ryan : Don't make me put a Breathalyzer on that phone.

• Leslie : I can't say I love being called Les.

  Mary : I know what you're saying there. I can't stand it when people call me Mar. It's, like, what am I? Am I a horse? Am I some kind of horse? Like a pony?

• Mary : God damn it, Scott! No one wants to see it work out between you and Leslie more than Ryan and I. You are screwing it up!

  Scott : What am I screwing up?

  Ryan : You asked her to move in after two dates.

  Mary : Two!

  Ryan : Come on, man! Couldn't scare her away any faster if you told her if you were a Nazi sympathizer who's into fondling puppy balls!

  Mary : Or a chronic masturbater!

• [Mary grabs Ryan's groin] 

  Scott : Mary, come on!

  Mary : Come on, what? Want me to act like it's no big deal that my man's at half-mast? It is a big deal!

  Scott : We're just having some guy time, all right? He'll just keep it in his pants.

  Ryan : [high-pitch voice]  Uh-huh.

  Scott : I promise.

  Ryan : And, um, if it's any consolation as you can see, I am completely flaccid now.

  Scott : We all are, Ryan. We all are.

• Mary : [referring to Bar Patron]  You have to get rid of him. He is trying to get into my pants!

  Scott : So? He's not going to. It's not like you're tempted to sleep with him or anything.

  Mary : I'm tempted to fuck his brains out. I'd fuck him, I fuck that guy, I'd fuck the guy doing air-guitaring back there. I can fuck everybody I can see right now 'cause I just want the chance to be with somebody else. This is the reason I cannot be trusted without Ryan around me at all times. Just once I want to be with another guy without Ryan in the room. Can you understand that? I'm sick of fucking the same person over and over and over and over again!