Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (TV Series)

Kimmy Gets a Job! (2015)

Tituss Burgess: Titus Andromedon

Quotes 

• Kimmy Schmidt : Titus, I need you to get your robot suit back.

  Titus Andromedon : But I already did something today!

• Kimmy Schmidt : This family - the mother is having some sort of breakdown, while her stepdaughter is running around drinking and sexing. The little boy is a devil, probably because the father is never around.

  Titus Andromedon : Sounds like this family either has no money or way too much.

  Kimmy Schmidt : Oh, they're super rich. Their toilet has another reverse toilet next to it.

  Titus Andromedon : Oh, no, you cannot work there. Rich New Yorkers are the worst. They buy up buildings for themselves and ruin neighborhoods. They're always inventing new types of dogs that the world doesn't need. And what do they do with their money? They give it to charities to cure malaria in other countries. Well, call me crazy, but I say cure malaria at home first!

• Ray : No way, man, I can't give you your security deposit back. There's all kinds of wear on this thing.

  Titus Andromedon : That is ridiculous. I treated this suit like a beautiful lady. Which is to say, I did not touch it.

  Ray : I'll take it off your hands. But you're not getting your deposit back.

  Titus Andromedon : Unacceptable! I need that money to pursue my dream of stardom!

  Ray : That's the most pathetic thing I've ever heard. And I have sex with these costumes at night.

• Titus Andromedon : Open the register, Ray! Time to make like a dwarf at a jukebox and pay up.

  Ray : Really? Am I supposed to be afraid of a Hello Kitty and a Cookie Monster?

  Titus Andromedon : No. But that's not what they are. They're an Aloha Cat and a Treat Creature. And I'm not Iron Man, I'm Metal Hero Friend. None of us are licensed, and by renting these costumes, you're infringing on the intellectual property of the Children's Television Workshop, Marvel Comics, Walt Disney, and Japan PervCo.