This thing is so impractical, contrived, and convoluted that at this point I'm waiting for Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock to beam down from the Enterprise and phaser everyone to kingdom come. The first few minutes of this week's episode gave me the best laugh in a week. Thank you for that.
Get this: Morges (aka The New Moses) gives a speech in front of The Helper Team (including newcomer Dwight the X-Savior), camera at low angle for dramatic effect, to the Children of the Radiation, about being here to help. Let's all take this in. They crash land an airplane that nobody knew how to fly into a radiated are with radiated zombies, wild children, a radiation chick, bump into Dwight, and the Three Ring Circle Helicopter Chick who has the hots for Al. Conveniently they're in an enclosed area with food, water, electricity, cars, trucks, and yes the broken plane that they don't know how to fix, but no worries, they will fix it. How? Willpower. Because the younger radiation child is reading a kids book and now they all have the confidence to perform miracles. I know I can, said the little train engine as it tried to make it up the mountain. This show is now completely in fantasy land. A land of absolute nonsense.
The contrivance continues. Somehow they know the roads are blocked, flooded, and filled with radiation, so they can't drive out. They fix the plane, Al starts the propellers and one of them fails and flies off not killing anything, no humans, no dogs, not even an innocent unsuspecting pigeon. That may have provided some comedy or horror. Anything, please. Al's working on the plane, June shows up, notices Al is melancholy, about the improbable nonsense we witnessed last week, and offers to listen in confidence, because once Al listened to June of her own melancholy. Soap. Big Sister Radiation Children Leader tells Alyc that they've had enough with The Helper Team nonsense and are taking off. We then hear a sob story about how her parents got radiated. Soap. Alyc offers her keys to one of the cars.
Meanwhile at the batcave, Cowboy John and Dwight are looking for clues to where D's wife may be. It's so convenient that not only is Dwig here, but his X-Wife was here and may still be. Cowboy has nothing better to do but to help. He is after all part of The Helper Team. We get some real soap here ladies and gentleman. Cowboy showing his sentimental side by telling Dwig about looking for June, and how June spelled out her love for him on blocks. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought this was supposed to be about zombies. That's what the show is called right? Anyway, Dwig spills his guts to Cowboy about his wife and Savior Neeg, then they find clues left by his wife, by way of Cowboy penciling a note that his wife left on a diner order form. This stuff is so dumb, I just can't continue. So dumb. And Improbable. Are they trying to build up D's wife into some vagabond mystery character? She leaves all these notes like an Easter Egg Hunt. It's just ridiculous.
Cowboy finds and reads a letter from D's wife to D, telling him this is her last letter, like it's the post office, and to stop looking. I don't know about you, but just for basic decency, you do not read someone else's letters. Soap, Disgrace and Downfall of Cowboy John. Then, D comes out of a house with supplies and all happy. He's found encouragement from his new buddy Cowboy that maybe he can find his wife. Cowboy lies and says he didn't find any clues. More Soap and Even More Disgrace of Cowboy John. Freaking 2 grown men acting like dumb, dumber, and sentimental fools. Meanwhile, I thought there was this little thing going wrong in the world like, Dead People Walking and Looking To Kill You!
Meanwhile at camp Vic, Backstab Charlie, Truckes, and Wheelchair. Although Wheelchair only made a walky appearance. Beer Jimbo makes a magazine cover appearance, with an ad for his brewery and his beer balloon. Oh, Yeah!
Grace the Radiation lady asks Morgy for the rest area's generator and help in moving some blocked cars. Apparently, the power plant will have another meltdown. But she may be able to stall it. While Morgy is having a romantic moment with his radiated lightsaber Grace takes off. This is so touching of Morgy. He speaks of his love of this stick in a most eerie and perverse way. Morgy starts his walk back to camp. Just a dumb scene.
Vic and Backstab are now seen in Jimbo's Beer Balloon, with airplane propellers attached to the side. This is the most ridiculous sight ever displayed in the history of Television. It's shocking how the writers actually sold this dumb idea to the producers. I require all the writer's notes, and all the correspondences with all involved in bringing this ridiculous nonsense to publication. It is so outrageous. If all involved in this production are not embarrassed, you have lost all connection to reality and humanity. Can you really believe that what you are showing could ever happen in any universe? Not only do Vic and Backstab find Jimbos' balloon, it's ready to take off, it has fuel, they know how to fly it, and they navigate and locate Morgy's Helper Team. Yeah, I don't think so. Just give it up.
So, let's get this straight. The entire area may have another nuclear meltdown. Vic and Back crash land the balloon in a field of radiated zombies. Alyc wants all the kids to see the balloon like a circus act, notices that they're gone, she gave them car keys, and now she's out looking for them. Morgy is hightailing it to help Vic and Back. What a convoluted bunch of improbable nonsense. They say it can only happen in the movies. And it does here. What's next? The Starship Enterprise? Darth Vader? Maybe Spider-Man. Who the hell knows?!?
Here's some advice to the writers. If the story is so ridiculous that only a brain dead zombie would buy it, you need to stop, and start over. I get it. This is the zombie apocalypse. Dead people, Survivors, Interpersonal Conflict, Villains, Situations, etc. However, once you go into improbable, Man, That's out of line. You contrived this that and the other thing. You have convoluted situations, mysteries that will tie in later and such. But improbable. Now you're in fantasyland. If you're goal is to be so outrageous by pushing the story to fantasyland to see what the audience will accept, then you are insulting the audience. And, just stop with the phony 10 star reviews and ratings. Please find your integrity and produce quality television.
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