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BratSimpson
Reviews
The Birds (1963)
The Scariest "Hitchcock" I've Ever Seen (I Haven't Seen Psycho)
Birds fighting mankind seems unlikely, but Hitchcock makes it happen. I am not a horror fan, but 2 hour The Birds made me forget all that and I enjoyed the suspense, thrill, and horror. This is Alfred Hitchcock's best in my opinion. However, the only movies he's directed that I've seen are Rear Window, Dial M for Murder, The Birds, Rope, Marnie, Vertigo, and The Man Who Knew Too Much. This movie brought much fear to me and I wish that they weren't making a sequel because they will ruin the whole thing. This was smart, suspenseful, and gave me the feeling that Hitchcock could do anything. He can, too (including appear in his directed films. In this one, he appears coming out of the pet shop about a minute after the credits). I urge you who love suspense that have not seen The Birds yet to do so. You'll have the thrill of a lifetime.
The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
Vintage claymation is fine with me.
Okay, I've seen this movie three times, twice on TV and once in theaters (the theaters screening was yesterday with 3-D) and I think the movie is best watched in 3-D. This film is by no means bad. In fact, it's very cleaver and fun to see a vintage claymation movie anywhere. More examples are the Wallace & Gromit shorts that played way back then. I think "Nightmare" was the first feature-length claymation movie, right? Anyway, don't answer. It's pretty hard to do that in a comment. Don't look for this question by me in the message boards.
I try not to have my rating for this film at the beginning because I think 3-D is better than 2-D. If it is there, I will try to get rid of it. Anyway, here's my final verdict.
2-D: 8 out of 10 3-D: 9 out of 10
Mystery Science Theater 3000: Horrors of Spider Island (1999)
Wow, television shows DID air last night!
Let me just start off by saying that this is one of the funniest episodes of MST3K ever (second to Hobgoblins) and the host segments are the most hilarious. Again, if you can ignore the fact that the film is terrible, you will love any episode of the show. Horrors of Spider Island is in my opinion one of the worst films Mike and the Bots have riffed, and I don't think I could have survived without the madcap jokes. Some of my favorite lines: "(moaning) We've got spirit, yes we do. We've got spirit, how 'bout... ugh." "Where do you want the silverware? Well in the kitchen where it always goes!" ""Wow, television shows DID air last night!" How can you go wrong with those kinds of lines? You can't? I thought so.
Please get Volume 11 to get this episode.
Surf's Up (2007)
The big wave has been rode.
I'm gonna start off by saying that this is the best Shia Lebouf film I've seen (I've only seen three, this, The Greatest Game Ever Played, and Transformers.) It also puts a clever twist on animated penguin movies. That's because instead of being a musical (Happy Feet), it's a fake documentary about surfing. You heard that already, didn't you? It also cast Jon Heder as a clueless character again (Napoleon Dynamite) and this time made him happy a whole lot. Very good qualities of the film. My only problem with it was that it's sometimes too predictable. I knew that Geek was Big Z before it was revealed. Still, it was very excellent with good humor.
Plot: 7/10 Humor: 9/10 Characters: 8/10 Overall Rating: 8/10
Transformers (2007)
Can somebody say overrated? Pathetic.
I thought to myself before I saw this, "If it's done right, it will get a 9/10." I had that in mind. The movie actually started slow and attempted to build, but even the battles are boring. When it's robot vs. human, I know the outcome of the battle already, and I hated that.. But it seems that the second part of the movie is actually somewhat skillfully made. Shia LeBeouf was great as Sam Witwhicky it also had some great jokes. I swear, it works better as a comedy than an action flick, even though there's more action than humor. Still, everyone else seemed to like it, but my experience wasn't transformed enough. I'll watch a sequel with my family if it comes out. Who knows? It might be worth it.
Humor: 6/10 Action:1/10 Plot: 2/10 Overall Rating: 3/10
Happy Feet (2006)
Frostbite and Fantastic Music
Okay, so Happy Feet wasn't a great movie. It was more like what you get when you cross-breed a fantastic soundtrack with an iffy plot. I can't say I hate this, but I would have hated it if there was no soundtrack. However, some of the music is part of the plot, but I was confounded at some of the logic this flick had. Such as Mumble not being able to sing because he was dropped as an egg. Also, in the scene when Mumble was put into a zoo area for humans (REAL humans) to watch him, it looked really weird. Ramone had most of the humor and there wasn't much else to it.
Plot: 3/10 (*1/2 out of ****) Music: 9/10 (***1/2 out of ****) Humor: 6/10 (**1/2 out of ****) Overall appeal: 6/10 (**1/2 out of ****)
The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Worth ten tons of donuts
This movie is everything I expected out of it. It has great gags and a crafty plot. No wounder it wasn't revealed until later. I had a great time seeing this movie and wish I would have seen the part where Lenny tells Homer about the donuts (stupid bladder!) and the credits scenes where Maggie asks for a sequel. Nevertheless, those details were leaked out afterwords but I still wish I would have been able to see them. I'll wait for DVD. (Spare your illegal downloading, YouTube!) Also, great opening. I especially liked the chalkboard gag, "I will not illegally download this movie." All gags were also excellent. Now a shout out to all haters: Haw-Haw!
Humor: 10/10 Plot: 10/10 Characters: 10/10 Overall Rating: 10/10
The Simpsons: 24 Minutes (2007)
Easily the best Simpsons episode of all time.
I'm glad that the Simpsons have great ideas of episodes, and their idea for 24 Minutes was out standing. It lets me look forward to season 19 because it will also be very good. Hilarious jokes are spawned throughout the episode including guest staring by two 24 stars.Also, just because a show is popular doesn't mean that it can't be spoofed. I loved how they did the split screens and the jokes. Also, it offers some suspense to if Bart will do his mission.
It's not necessary for the new episodes of the Simpsons to be bombed. They are perfectly fine. They are getting much better at making episodes and spoofing other shows and movies. The Simpsons remain the best TV series in American history. Can't wait for the movie.
Ratatouille (2007)
Another outstanding Disney-Pixar masterpiece!
Ratatouille made me hungry when I came out of the theater. It was around 7:00 PM, but I loved this movie. I'm glad this film made it to the Top 250 because movies like this one truly belong there. And the advertisements didn't even repel me. They were good ads and made me want to go to it so bad. This should get nominated for a couple Oscars next year and win one of them. That is not for a long time, but it's something to look forward to. In conclusion, this cooks up a feast you'll never forget. I hope you don't want to forget it at all. This is my new favorite movie, and that probably won't change until the film Wall-E comes out. Pixar is the greatest film company ever!
Edit: Now my favorite movie is The Simpsons Movie.
The Simpsons (1989)
Get your Simpsons on, lovers!
The Simpsons may have had the same 2-D animation over 18 seasons and 400 episodes, and it's still the best TV show ever! If the Simpsons don't end when I die, it would be a shame because I will no longer be able to watch the longest running TV series in history. The Simpsons get into hilarious adventures that never disappoint. Who Shot Mr. Burns? was one of the best. Great thing to watch on Sunday nights. I admit I haven't seen all of the episodes, but the ones I have seen were hands down hilarious. I love it when I can find a descent clip of The Simpsons on YouTube, because I can sort of catch up. The Simpsons Movie is going to be the biggest Summer blockbuster this decade! Am I right? Like probably a bunch of fans, my favorite character is Homer. He is so funny and he has done so many jobs. Over 100, including the ones he has had at the Nuclear Power Plant. Bottom Line: Get your Simpsons on!!!!!
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
Nice try, critics.
This movie is awesome. It has a lot of action and it's very suspenseful and dark. Critics don't like it, huh? Too much time and romance? Not to much, really. Maguire's character would be nothing without the stress of villains and his crush. Don't bomb Spider-Man 3 just because you thought there was to much romance. I like this the best of the three Spider-Man movies, which gets me all pumped for Spider-Man 4. The amount of villains and the power they have are awesome and are absolutely evil, which is what I wanted for this film. If you have yet to see this movie, don't listen to critics or anyone who says that this film is trash. They are wrong, and I am totally itching to see this film in theaters again. It would be so sweet if I did that. ***1/2 out of ****
The Pink Panther (2006)
More underrated than Open Season.
I thought that this film was a lot of fun. More fun than A Shot in the Dark (which is the only Peter Sellers Pink Panther film I've seen.) Steve Martin has done a great job in filling in Sellers' shoes. His accent is hilarious and his humor does not let me down. Not that it ever has, but it's some of his best works. A movie with a great plot and great humor is underrated if the average is where it's at. I'm just glad that this film isn't on the Bottom 100 list. I saw this film in theaters three times, every time it was at a different theater. Yes, Martin's that good in this movie. I like this as the third best of Sony's works of 2006, behind Benchwarmers and Open Season, which by the way was also underrated. Monster House and Ricky Bobby were also quite good, but not as good as the glorious remake of The Pink Panther. Good One.~Closeau
Flushed Away (2006)
So good, I don't see how anyone could hate it .
A title like Flushed Away (title, not the real film) might have repelled people, but it didn't repel me, and I was not sorry. Brilliantly made from the creators of Chicken Run, Shrek, Shark Tale, Madagascar, Wallace and Gromit, and Over the Hedge, you would love to see a film like this. It is really funny and is actually the smartest film of last year. I saw a few stupid films last year like Benchwarmers, Click, and Talladega Nights (which were good, too).
I thought that the funniest part of the film was when Spike got flung back, hit a bunch of bumps, and then got wound up in a bunji cord. But this retains its wittiness with elaborate plans to escape, rescue, and fight. Trust me, if you have yet to see Flushed Away, you should rent it sometime. Or even buy it! Yes, this film is really that good. You'll love it.
King Kong (2005)
Why 3 hours?
This film is way too long, but it is entertaining where the important parts are. There were tons of scenes that were not at all necessary in the making of this film. Jack Black was chosen for this film, but he's better in comedies like School of Rock and Nacho Libre. Those were better than the 3 hour long remake of King Kong. This isn't a masterpiece, but it's a remake of one. Maybe it would have been better if it was about an hour shorter.
It must have been hard to sit through this in theaters without having to go to the bathroom and miss some of it. (I rented this at a video store.)
** out of ****
The Ant Bully (2006)
It's not perfect, but it has great action!
It won't go on my top 10 list for 2006, but The Ant Bully is worth your time. My movie critic liked this film more that I did, but we have different viewpoints. Humor in this film could use some touching up to make it better. (Monster House from a week before this (yes, I still remember) had better humor. Ant Bully has better action though.) This film won't make people stop squishing ants and other insects (because it's a fantasy), but it should have a reference to real people.
Not really the most perfect thing I had seen all last year (that was Cars), but it really wouldn't matter if you had seen it in IMAX 3-D or in a regular movie theater. (I saw it in a movie theater, but I don't think IMAX will change anything.)
It's barely clinging on to an 8/10 because the action was just to good to resist. Open Season was more worth seeing.
The Benchwarmers (2006)
What can I say? This movie gets a home run on comedy (and everything else)
Heder was seen in Napoleon Dynamite in 2004, but that's not as fresh and LOL hysterical as The Benchwarmers. The Benchwarmers is put into three lines: Rob Schnieder (Gus Matthews (a.k.a Gus Bus)(laughs)), David Spade (Richie Goodman (a.k.a Richie #itchy)) and Jon Heder (Clark Reedees (a.k.a Clark the Dork)). These past nerds form a baseball team that doesn't know how to hit or catch. These guys will tickle your funny bone and won't stop!! Stupid, yes, but this is stupid in a good way. A rank of #4 on the best (yes, best) films of 2006, it's freaken awesome!!!!!!!! If you can't find my review useful and somehow find to hate this movie, go back to Napoleon Dynamite. Or just resort to Monster House and School for Scoundrels to keep up with Heder. (He's also gonna appear in Surf's Up this year.) If you have no sense of humor, just ignore this review all together.
Jaws (1975)
Top 250? What the...?
No, I am not crazy. Jaws shouldn't be on the top 250 list because it is just about as good as a rotten fish sandwich! Jaws bites you in the butt with the jaws of boredom, not the jaws of life. For one thing, it's not scary. It's just really gross, like with all the blood in the water. And that bloody corpse underwater. This film has to much blood to be rated PG today. It would be PG-13 or even R today. Another thing that makes this film crappy is that it is completely unimaginative served with a side of boredom. If you still want a will to stay in the water, avoid at all costs. Trust me, you have better things to do than watching people get murdered by a stinky cheese shark!!! I don't even know why so many people like it. Trust me, it's totally not worth it.
Zoom (2006)
There are not enough lovers
What is with people who hate movies like this? Well sure, I'm not gonna get the DVD, but still, there are not enough people who love this movie and it is not nearly enough to make up for all of these people who doesn't like a movie like this. Tim Allen: good. Viewers who don't like the awesome guy: bad. I'm not okay with people bashing this kind of stuff. And about the 100 worst films list. Leave the films that go on to that dumb list for the truly bad films. Hello? Movies way worse than this aren't even on it! Killer Shrews, Attack of the Giant Leaches, and not even The Dead Talk Back! Ridiculous.
Zoom: *** out of **** Killer Shrews: negative**** out of **** Attack of the Giant Leaches: No stars out of **** The Dead Talk Back: 1/2 star out of ****
The Greatest Game Ever Played (2005)
Greater hockey matches have been played
This is yet another Disney sports drama that didn't make me feel anything but bored. First hockey and now golf? Not a fan of sports (or very good at regular golf), this film spells trouble for me, especially since I enjoy real hockey matches ten times more. When I saw this movie, I knew that this is it. Disney doesn't know how to make half-way descent sports dramas. In fact, I don't think anyone can (I'm a teenager).That's why I decided that I'm gonna hate Invincible, so, why even go for it? I'm not a movie critic. Bottom line, if you want to see the second of the sports dramas that Disney has dared made, this film is for you by all means. If you hated Miracle (like me), completely ignore this flick by all means. * out of ****
Barnyard (2006)
I'm not all that concerned about the udder "problem"
So what if the bulls in this movie have udders? In fact, that is the least of these problems. I saw that a couple of the scenes were very odd. I will not tell which, but this movie makes itself average in my eyes.
I do have to question the version of "Won't Back Down" used a couple times during fights with the coyotes. It's not really the most fitting to how tough the coyotes are. The coyotes do make the film very interesting, though.
This movie isn't incredible, but it isn't a waste of time, either. If you get to see this on a discount, it would be more worth it.
Miracle (2004)
I just couldn't grow to like this
My parents got the DVD of this and I saw it. Twice. I didn't enjoy it either time. My mind cannot focus on anything that is going on because it is filled with too much light conversation. My mind also has trouble because it's in the head of a person in a sports-loving family who doesn't love sports too much himself. The only miracle is the one that actually happened and that this film portrays. This movie didn't make me unleash my temper, but it's just the hardest thing in the world to focus on. Kurt showed to me that he's a great actor in Sky High, but I don't blame him for being in this. You don't have to agree with me, but this is my honest opinion.
Monster a Go-Go (1965)
Hello?
I can't believe that the filmmakers of this movie believed that this pile of crap is a horror movie. Nothing happens and the monster just disappears at the end. If that's not a pile of crap, I don't know what is.
This is my vote for the 3rd worse movie ever. Sure, it's trailing behind Manos: The Hands of Fate. But it's also trailing behind the Killer Shrews. They are simply sickening. But what really is sickening is that Monster a Go-Go is no longer on the bottom 100! IMDb users tried to send it back with films ranked lower than the worst films ever made! Users, do you even see these movies in MST3K!
To avoid extreme boredom from watching this film, watch it only on MST3K. It's on Volume 8 with Hobgoblins (my favorite MST3K episode), Phantom Planet, and The Dead Talk Back.
Monster House (2006)
Stunning and totally lovable
Monster House was really good, especially since I saw it in 3-D at my local movie theater. I own the DVD. It was stunning that the Monster House was Nebbercracker's wife, Constance. And, of course, the final battle scene was a blast! It was a little scary, but totally lovable. I don't recommend it for children under 8 because it's kind of scary. Just the same, it nearly claws to perfect on the scale of four stars. I think this movie deserves ***1/2.
The animation is great. It was used with motion capture by the actors in the movie. As a final review, it's such an awesome movie. Don't miss it. You will have a blast.
Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
The Tagline Does Not Lie
By the way, this is not a compliment. It's shocking that the people who run movie theaters let it into movie theaters. This is definitely the worst movie ever made. I understand that there has been a fight between Manos and Monster a Go-Go for the title of the worst movie ever made. It's no contest, people! Manos wins!!! I know that there have been a lot of people who recommend just the MST3K version of this film. Please listen to them. They are right.
Honestly, NOTHING happens at all! There's just some kissing, driving, and a bad stay at the "Master's" home. I mean what's up with that?!?! It's totally pathetic! What sort of person actually likes a pathetic horror movie ripoff. I mean horror is the lowest form of cinema entertainment.
On a star scale of 0 to 4, this film deserves a NEGATIVE 4!!! Boring, boring, boring, boring, boring.
To get this movie on MST3K DVD, get it on single disk or the Essentails, which also contains Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.