Michael1958 Reviews

Seabiscuit (2003)

The 2003 Best Picture Oscar winner!

[10/10 · 1 September 2003]

This is what film making is all about, good script, great cast and good photography. The main performers all handle their roles very well. Chris Cooper and William Macy are superior in their parts. Though the nod for Best Supporting Actor should go to Macy. The best picture of 2003 thus far.

MM

Chicago (2002)

The worst best picture since Midnight Cowboy

[1/10 · 1 September 2003]

This film was not a musical, perhaps a dance fest, surely a waste of money. I know many found this tripe entertaining, then again we are the same nation of people who have elected some rather low quality politicians to rule over us, so with that said. My main advice-Avoid this film if your idea of a musical is something like The Sound of Music or Singing in the Rain. See it if you honestly thought Moulin Rouge with Nicole Kidman was entertaining. Oh where have you gone Gene Kelly, Judy Garland, Fred Astaire, Eleanor Powell and Ginger Rogers? Passed away, just as good taste in musicals has.

MM

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

Just what we need, another egotistical bad teenager!

[1/10 · 7 July 2003]

I was told see this movie, it's classic 80's teen comedy. Personally, the best Classic 80's teen movie is John Cusak's Better Off Dead. Matther Broderick is a great actor-it is just that this film is just so over rated it isn't even funny. I had a hard time watching this film, not so with Better Off Dead-both made in the same era-mid 80's. While I have many friends who just rave about this movie, it didn't do anything for me-it just isn't funny. I am glad to see Broderick improved with age.

MM

The Shanghai Gesture (1941)

Yuck, what a waste of talented performers!

[1/10 · 6 July 2003]

This film had so much promise with the cast it boasted. Despite Walter Huston, Gene Tierney and Victor Mature, this films sinks into a state of wretchedness as does it's characters in the storyline. It has all the markings of a borderline exploitation film more often seen on the "B" movie circuits of the era in which it was made. See it if you wish, there are far better film noir examples out there-this is not one of them.

MM

Minority Report (2002)

In the top 250? what gives?

[2/10 · 28 June 2003]

This film was not only a waste of time and good video rental money, but made even more horrible after seeing that it is listed here on IMDB in the top 250 films as chosen by site users. They say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, well I saw none in this film. It's greatest attribute was that for once, Hollywood came up with something original sci fi wise. The past couple years has seen a drought in the creativity department. It was how the story was told that left me gasping. I do not think Tom Cruise is a good actor. I do think Steven Spielberg is a great film maker, which is why I was shocked at how bad this film was. So the bottom line is, for Cruise-a good film, he stinks as a leading film star. For Spielberg-a terrible film, he is too good to make such tripe and even better to have to work with the likes of Cruise. This is what I think, if you liked the film, so be it.

MM

Moby Dick (1956)

A classic like none before or since!

[10/10 · 28 June 2003]

If you have ever read the Herman Melville story of Moby Dick, then you will know how hard it must have been for John Huston to turn it into film. Thanks to Ray Bradbury's screenplay and great acting, this film became a classic. That it is not in the top 250 IMDB rated films is a shame. I hope that this is due to it's limited showings and therefore not being seen by many of this site's users. From the start to the finish the film is well paced. The casting of Gregory Peck as Captain Ahab was wise. He commands the role well. Orson Welles appearance as the minister is also a treat to behold. Welles shows that he can add so much to a film whether it be a small role or a large one. Special effects are the only thing that could have been a bit better done. However, in 1956, depicting a great white whale with an attitude was not an easy accomplishment film making wise. This film does go into the relationship between man and God, so some folks will no doubt be prejudiced against the film. Keep in mind the story's time period and locale. The seafaring men of New England really did once hold God close to their heart. Melville's use of a whale to depict the struggle was good. Huston getting it onto film was even better. Sorry, I like the film better than the book. MM

Mighty Joe Young (1949)

Good flick, better than the newer version!

[8/10 · 28 June 2003]

If Hollywood must makes remakes due to the mostly lack of creativity that we see these days coming out of Tinsel Town, then at least make the remake better. This original story of a Girl and Her Ape is so much better, so much better paced and without the hideous mean spirited additions the new one had added. The very fact that this first version was done with stop motion photography gives it an edge over the computer generated swill we saw in color just a few years back. Sure there are some 1940ish hokey "B" movie formula stuff, but in the end-the 1949 film is just so much better paced and more palatable for the younger set. If you have not seen this one, give it a shot. If you prefer the newer version then you obviously have a thing against the black and white films of yore.

MM

The Strange Love of Martha Ivers (1946)

Argh!!!!!!! This film stinks!

[3/10 · 28 June 2003]

I gave it only a 3, because of Barbara Stanwyck, Kirk Douglas and director Lewis Milestone. If not for them, I would have given it a minus zero. This film noir is horrible, it features idiotic acting from Elizabeth Scott, a goof leading character named Sam-played by Van Heflin, a overly wicked performance by Judith Anderson. See it once then forget it. The only curiosity piece is Kirk Douglas as a weak willed coward of a husband to Barbara. A waste of great talent.

Bringing Down the House (2003)

Once again bad old whitey needs to be educated

[1/10 · 11 May 2003]

This is another typical Hollywood send up about how uncool white people are, even to the absurd remark that white people don't hug. It shows a world that might have existed in exclusive white California neighborhood 30 years ago, but not now. I feel sorry for any young white american who once again is made to feel ashamed of their very being by a film like this. While there are moments that could have been funny culture shock wise, they just don't appear. This film should be as offensive to white's as the roles Stepin Fethcit and Hattie McDaniel portrayed in the 30's and 40's were to blacks. If it wasn't, then to coin a black american phrase(I don't hyphenate groups with African-American or European-American, because if you are not american-get out!) you would then be a white version of an Uncle Tom. I feel good about my color and nothing the Queen Latifah's of the world say can make me ashamed of my race and people(except any involved with this racist filth). In case you think I am racist-think again, Densel Washington, Morgan Freeman, Cuba Gooding and Halle Berry are some of my favorite performers in today's films.

MM

Julia Misbehaves (1948)

Seeing the Seal scene with Walter Pigeon was worth the whole film

[6/10 · 16 March 2003]

I will not give away the plot, but will give my own run down on the characters. Walter Pigeon-he is good, but stuffy in his role-his best part is with the Seal. Greer Garson-L.B. Mayer must have wanted to punish her with this wacky role. Elizabeth Taylor-her first grown up role, I cannot believe MGM wanted her in grown up roles so soon. She is pretty, but seriously folks-she looks more like she is about to attend a sock hop. Peter Lawford-has an odd role, but not too bad. I think he was overall film wise the best human part. Nigel Bruce-as a dirty old man friend of Walter's. Reginald Owen-he was in it for just a bit and this was sad-he was a good actor and added much to films. Cesar Romero-talk about a challenging role, he plays a cockney speaking Englishman! Corny, but not bad. The Seal-this animal and his antics with the stuffy Walter Pigeon are priceless-the very best thing about the movie. Forget Elizabeth Taylor-the Seal acts and looks better in this film than she does. Sorry Liz.

Gods and Generals (2003)

Good, very good

[10/10 · 4 March 2003]

As with any film, it could have always been better. From film critics to Civil War buffs, I have heard how they thought this film was boring. Some even said it was politically incorrect! Excuse me, the Confederate flag, Dixie and slaves were part of American history-you cannot sweep it under some vast PC rug-it was and is part of who we are as a nation. I even heard one critic say there was too much praying to God in the film, well too bad for them. Once upon a time a public display of reverance to God was common place, that was of course until we hit the era of political correctness. Once again, religious convictions-right or wrong were what powered the nation in it's early years. The film was long, this I will agree, still it told a story about some of American history that seems to not get it's due on film. While Civil War films like Glory are great, the story of Stonewall Jackson, Robert E. Lee, Joshua Chamberlain and countless others Union/Confederate deserved to be told on the big screen. Frankly, the Glory brigade was an interesting footnote in the annuals of Civil War and American Military history-the film Gods and Generals focused on no mere footnotes in history, but rather giants. If this sounds offensive, then read the history of the Civil War and see for yourself. Back to the film, it plays well and does not lack in entertainment. If seeing the South victorious in this film bothered you, then hurry and rent Gettysburg, the sequel to this prequel. The North wins the battle. Look, films like Gods and Generals at least inspire young people to learn more about their nation's history. Screw the multiculturalism educating formats of today, the Civil War helped our nation grow and become better. If we learn from it, hopefully we will not wander back into another such war in the future. Remember, the war was largely fought between the same race of people, just regional differences. Think of what our future holds with an America ignorant of it's past. Keep films like this rolling and forget the critics-the theater I was at was packed.

The Four Feathers (2002)

Forget this version, see the 1939 one instead

[2/10 · 4 March 2003]

This film had so much promise, the story is one full of romance, action, honor and so forth. The 1939 version is fabulous, just one problem, it isn't politically correct. However, the action is better and the story is more believable. In 2002, it seems near impossible to make an old fashioned adventure film about the British Army putting down whacked out religious fanatics in The Sudan in the 1800's. That isn't the whole story, to tell you more would give it away. Trust me on this one,the 1939 version is better-it does not have any political correctness to it. The battle scenes are great and for those who champion the little guy, the British Army still get's it's butt kicked in a couple scenes, so see-it will make the feeling guilty PC Anglo feel like there is some justice in the world. Forget the last remark-see the film for some old time adventure in the movies, not the 2002, the 1939 one. Enjoy.

That Thing You Do! (1996)

A great film for these cynical times!

[10/10 · 29 January 2003]

It has no violence or sexual content. Heaven forbid, there isn't even any cursing-what gives for a film made in 1996. I will tell you what-a film with some class. I saw someone write a comment that it was a simple fable of a simpler time. Our time is what we make it and what we accept. If we keep accepting filth and garbage in everything we watch, then what does that say we have become. Why is it old fashioned to like a movie that is not just good-it is great. If your the cynical type-then don't watch it. You are too far gone to be of any use for yourself, much less humanity. I enjoyed this film about some guys and a girl getting together and recording a hit record in the 1960's. I enjoyed seeing such a story because, despite the fact that I like action flicks, risque comedies and the like. Sometimes I like just sitting down to watch a decent little film that wasn't made before 1960. C'mon folks, give your poor cynical hearts a break and watch something nice for a change.

MM

The Private Eyes (1980)

Skip this one!

[2/10 · 20 January 2003]

I gave this film a 2 only because it did have potential with Tim Conway and Don Knotts in it. The effort shown by these two was admirable, considering the lousy script(written partly by Mr. Conway) and pacing of scenes. It just doesn't move as a movie like this should. While I consider Conway a good tv comedian, only Knotts ever showed potential for the big screen after leaving the Andy Griffith show. It is sad that this film didn't work out better. Oh well, both performers have earned a place in entertainment history-let them not be judged by this turkey.

MM

It Happened to Jane (1959)

Good film to watch

[7/10 · 20 January 2003]

The best thing about this film is seeing what small town America looked like in the late 1950's. While some Hollywood sets were no doubt used, this one looks as if most were shot Down East in Maine. The plot is simplistic and yet a quasi Mr. Smith Goes To Washington. Doris Day and Jack Lemmon handle their roles very well. My personal favorite in the film is the great Ernie Kovacs as the bad guy in this story about a small town woman (Jane/Doris) fighting to have her lobsters shipped fresh to the big cities like Boston and New York by train. After a shipment of lobsters end up dying before reaching their destination-Jane/Doris, with the help of her sweetheart/lawyer Jack Lemmon decide to challenge greedy Railroad tycoon Kovacs-who hams up his role quite well. I will let you watch the movie to learn the results of the challenge.

MM

Eight Legged Freaks (2002)

Let those snooty critics cry

[10/10 · 18 January 2003]

It isn't a classic yet, but should be. This send up spoof of the 1950's sci fi films is terrific. If you look at it for a fun movie, it's great. If you are too serious, then you will not like it. My suggestion stick to those depressing high brow films that make you feel lousy and then a need to reexamine your own being. Sometimes you just need a movie for escapism, save the sense of it all for those self help books you can buy. Check this one out and have fun!!!!

MM

The House Across the Street (1949)

A nice little gem

[7/10 · 18 January 2003]

I do not know if this would be considered a classic, but it is a nice little film starring Wayne Morris, who by the late 1940's was not seen in too many starring roles in Hollywood. Morris gives a good performance as a newspaper man trying to expose criminal kingpin Bruce Bennett as a murderer. Good pacing, simple script with some fine witty dialogue. I saw this movie during a cold and blustery snowstorm. This is the kind of film that used to grace our late late movies. I sure could use more of this kind of entertainment on tv in the wee hours of morning instead of so many infomercials. Check this one out if it is ever on. It's worth a watch.

MM

The Letter (1940)

Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!

[5/10 · 8 January 2003]

What a film, 1940 must have been a lousy year for movies if this one got nominated for best picture. While it isn't all bad, it is it's own brand of cheese! The best performances are from James Stephenson and Sen Yung. Bette Davis and Herbert Marshall, who portrays her husband on screen ham it up for all it's worth. Set in Singapore in those long ago British Empire days, amidst the grandeur of the Rubber plantations our story unfolds. Here it is plain and simple. Bette opens the movie with shooting some guy named Jeffrey Hammond. She stands around looking dazed as natives all move in for a closer look. One is summoned to go and find the local law. While another goes to find happy Herbert, off at some remote place where they grow rubber. Oh the guy sent for the law, also gets the family lawyer. The investigation begins and soon Bette finds that she must be imprisoned until the trial. It looks like and open and shut case, for Bette claims the man she shot was after her body and wished to make passionate love to her. Herbert even mutters "Swine" in reference to the now bullet riddled Hammonds. Well it turns out there is a LETTER! A letter written by Bette to Hammonds asking him to come out to the plantation. This letter is in the possesion of Hammond's Eurasian wife. She says she wants money before she turns it over to Bette and her lawyer. I tell no more, because if you have gone this far to read about this movie you might want to be surprised. Watch it once and then say you did. Then see if you are able to ever watch it again.

MM

Taken (2002)

Cute kid, but thats it

[3/10 · 14 December 2002]

Special effects are average, acting is average, the screenplay has so many twists-even Chubby Checker would wind up nuts. So much promise and such build up. Where did it lead? The most endearing character gets sucked up into a space craft leaving her mom and dad behind. Where does she go? What does she do? Yes, I know she is part of a long planned experiment by some whacked out looking aliens straight off some video game system. The military folks and the FBI people are hopefully not represenatives of our best defense. If so, then we could possibly be defeated by the Iceland Army. Chilling though huh? I watched the whole thing, but will not ever watch it again, unless forced to do so. A second time would be sheer punishment. This film is an obvious build up for a future Sci Fi channel series.

MM

Perils of Nyoka (1942)

It's campy, it's corney and it is so cheesy that it is near great!

[8/10 · 23 November 2002]

What a serial or film, however you see this film you will see why it was the movie that helped launch the interest in show business by Carol Burnett. Ms. Burnett claimed that after watching the heroine Nyoka Gordon in action that she wanted to be like her in the movies. What a plot and characters-there is Nyoka Gordon, a comely lass raised in the wilds of the studio backlot er I mean Northern Africa. Handsome Larry-our hero, a couple of professor types, a dumb sidekick named Red(played by Billy Benedict on vacation from the East Side Kids), a beautiful villainess named Vultura, her wicked hammy helper-Cassib(played by the guy who gave us Ming the Merciless of Flash Gordon serial fame), a dog named Fang, a goofy little monkey and one poorly designed Gorilla costumed person running around doing Vultura's dirty work. Oh, I almost forgot, it also has Republic perenial of serials Tristam Coffin as Tortellini-the Italian spy for Vultura. This film does not have any Tigermen in it, but it does have a wind tunnel! Tacky looking chariots! that idiotic gorilla guy, some great fist fights! and two beautiful babes in the title roles. After viewing it many times, if Vultura didn't hang with the ghastly looking gorilla-she is the hottest of the two ladies and a better actress. She sure hams it up, but Nyoka looks like she is sleep walking half the time. Watch it at least once, it is funnier if taken as a comedy. If you think of it as serious-you will find it dreadful.

Two Rode Together (1961)

Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[2/10 · 16 November 2002]

This film is not one of Ford's best. It reeks! Performances are subpar by the stars. Though Woody Strode as Stonecat is comedy at it's best, Andy Devine is pathetic as the terribly obese army sergent. It would have been a better film if some seriousness had been put into it. It is mean spirited in so many areas. Forget it.

The Birth of a Nation (1915)

It is an unpleasant story, but cinema wise for it's time-it's great!

[10/10 · 9 November 2002]

A lot of people who view this film, do so with contemporary viewpoints on the story. To be sure, they are not so nice to see. The film was made by D.W. Griffith, who did not make this movie for just any audience. He obviously made it for white people. It tells a story that people of southern U.S. white heritage still felt strongly about in 1915 and possibly even today. The Civil War and Reconstruction, the latter being very reviled. It is not taught much today, but it was facts that some Reconstruction policies helped lead to a rise of groups in the south like the Klan. These policies did help to elevate the former slaves to higher status, but as in any culture. Once the U.S. Army pulled out of southern areas, where they had been the enforcers of Reconstruction-all heck broke loose. Sadly, terrible acts of supposed revenge were carried out by whites upon blacks. From the viewpoint of a man who was born in that time, we get Birth of a Nation. It was how he saw it and how many southern whites saw it-possibly to justify racist Jim Crow laws. The film, despite the story is not just well done for cinema of 1915, it is very well done. Forget the whining about black faced white actors playing the films black characters. I got news for you politically correct folks-black face was in 1915 and had been for almost a 100 years a very common entertainment practice. By 1915 standards, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it or out of place. The fact is this, Birth of a Nation proved that feature length motion pictures were viable and profitable. It paved the way for better films that would come. Yes, the story could have been something different. Filmmakers like Griffith, Spielberg, Selznick and Coen brothers are all driven to make movies about subjects they feel strong about, dreams they had must come to the screen. This was Griffiths, for other's it reflects a nightmare of what was. If I were a black person viewing this film, I would not like it. As a white person I like it for what it helped to bring about for film future. Griffith took a chance, just as a black Spike Lee took on several of his films. Lastly, Birth of a Nation takes the beating by modern day viewers that Gone With The Wind should be getting. That film made almost 25 years later didn't help the plight of black folks either. I personally think that film is wretched in it's depiction of black people. The only difference is that black people appear in some of the same subservient roles that were in Birth. Enough said, see it for yourself, hate it then-but before just passing it by-see it!

Petticoat Larceny (1943)

Joan Carroll shines despite it all

[6/10 · 26 October 2002]

Like Obliging Young Lady, this film was supposed to launch a Shirley Temple like career for Joan. The only trouble was that the script writers didn't give her more lines, better roles and the like. As seen in supporting roles like those in Meet Me in St. Louis, The Bells of St. Marys and Tomorrow the World-she was a talented young actress, who with more work and better care film career wise she could have done so much better work. Still, this film is worth watching to see Joan in her starring glory, for what it was.

Swamp Fire (1946)

Johnny and Buster have fun in the Cajun Sun!

[5/10 · 24 October 2002]

What a movie, what great acting! Not! The two guys who both played Tarzan, take on this high drama appearing as rough and tough cajuns in bayou country. Who is more of the stud? Who has the gals and alligators panting heavy each time they swagger by? You have to see this film to believe it. Johnny without his loin cloth and Buster without his French Foreign Legion cap from his tv days. I saw this movie at 5 in the morning about 20 years ago and boy was it the cure for insomnia. I was soon dozing off watching this junkbalaya. I kept awake only to see it's outcome. It is worth at least one watching. Then you will do as I did and say: "I shall not watch this film willingly again." I gave it a 5 vote wise for it's wonderful comedy moments, which I think was really supposed to be dramatic moments. Oh well, I am so low brow.

MM

Obliging Young Lady (1942)

I tried to like it more.........

[5/10 · 24 October 2002]

This film had great potential, however, the screenplay left a lot to be desired. Young Miss Carroll is actually the better performer of all the folks who appear in it. Franklin Panghorn isn't that bad either. After these two forget it, which is a ashame. Eve Arden is wasted, such a talent deserved more than the tripe she was given in this one. Edmund O'Brian makes one ill just watching him handle his lines. I cannot bear to discuss the other parts. Joan Carroll had a lot of potential, but she like Ann Carter and Sharyn Moffet never were consistent child performers thanks to much of the inane scripts they were given. Carroll was the most talented of the three RKO child Starlets, but Moffet at least had a few pictures that were all her own. Obliging Young Lady shows Carroll was star material, this just wasn't a vehicle in which she was able to shine, still whatever redeeming value it has is carried by her.