Reno-007 Reviews

Licence to Kill (1989)

A Bond Film that has gotten better over time

[7/10 · 21 November 2008]

I have to say I love ALL the Bond films. It really amuses me how wannbe critics like to slam Roger Moore's films. True, he should have stopped at For Your Eyes Only and even though I loved Octopussy and A View To a Kill, he was wayyyy to old to do the part. Especially in A View To a Kill he had one of those plastic surgeries on his eyes and he looked really silly. When I first saw License To Kill in the summer of 1989 I was almost 20 and even though I liked it because I love Bond I was a bit disappointed at first. It seemed to me to be more of an episode of Miami Vice than a James Bond film. But after seeing it a few times over the last 19 years and reading Ian Fleming's books, I really love it! Spoiler after this... The tie in of Bond avenging his friend Leiter was perfect. Leiter's wife is killed literally a the evening of the wedding. This is personal for Bond because in On Her Majesty's Secret Service he loses his wife Teresa or "Tracy" as she liked to be called, to the same kind of criminal mind as Robert Davi's Sanchez. Ernst Stavro Blofeld tries to kill Bond for paralyzing him in a tree branch after their fight on the bobsled track. Instead of killing Bond the bullet kills Tracy. Then of course Bond had his revenge on Blofeld at the beginning of For Your Eyes Only, truly a great death for a villain! But these memories are Bond's sensitive side that he rarely reveals. And when Leiter's wife is murdered, it brings it all back and he just becomes a cold killing machine, of course with the Bond suave we all know! The scene where Sanchez dies is especially terrific when after they both get thrown off a gas truck and Sanchez is bloodied and soaked with Gasoline he asks Bond before he wants to kill him "you could have had everything" and Bond pulls out the cigarette lighter that Leiter and his wife gave him at the wedding reception at the beginning of the film. Looks at Sanchez and says "don't you want to know why?" and as Sanchez looks down he sees the inscription of Felix and his wife's name, realizes who he REALLY is and a second later Bond flicks the lighter on him and Sanchez screams and burns to death. Perfect ending for someone like that I thought! And as other posters have truthfully said, the song at the end is the best! All in all a very good Bond movie that stands the test of time!

Jericho (2006–2008)

What total Piffle

[2/10 · 28 August 2008]

Gee how can I start by saying, what the hell was that? Back in 1959, Pat Frank wrote the classic post-apocalyptic novel, "Alas, Babylon," which still remains iconic and unique in a genre that has spawned countless novels, films, and television shows. In the novel, we witness how a small, rural Florida community strives to survive in the wake of a global nuclear war. It's a fantastic read, particularly, because of the skillful use of character development: After the bombs fall, the rich banker finds out that his prestige and wealth are now just pieces of paper- the librarian who found herself marginalized in the dawning age of the television finds herself the guardian of the only source of knowledge and entertainment in town- the white and black communities, formerly separated by history and mutual prejudice, are brought together.

Now- apparently, someone over at CBS had read this novel, and has bowdlerized it into the Worst. Apocalypse. Ever.

Watching this show, I found my intelligence being insulted every 30 seconds or so, and startled to find my pants being blown off by the sheer force of my boredom. You'd think that, in the wake of a nuclear catastrophe, people would have better things to do than have melodramatic arguments with their parents about their failed marriages. You'd think that after several weeks of no running water or electricity, some of the people might show a tad of grime. You'd think that after thousands of plot holes and inconsistencies pile up, the writers would do us the courtesy of committing collective suicide on prime time TV...

But Alas, Babylon, this show is 90210 without all of that troubling depth and nuance. The characters are unlikable, unbelievable, and the acting is the worst I've seen outside of those "Why, I didn't order a plumber!" segues at the beginning of porn films.

It is oft said that, should a nuclear war occur, the survivors will envy the dead. I concur whole-heartedly- if if post-nuke Montclair resembles Post-Nuke Jericho, I'd be so tortured by banality and boredom, that I'd be among the first to off myself...

Fahrenhype 9/11 (2004 Video)

what pitiful trash

[1/10 · 6 August 2008]

Yes, yes a movie for all the righties who hate the fact that Mike Moore has exposed them for what they truly are. I like to see both sides of any issue and this is proof of how desperate the right wing in this country is to make people believe all of their trash. This had no concrete evidence and the fact that it was a hiccup direct to video crap, says it all. Moore's movie was a blockbuster second to the Passion of the Christ that year, and the Passion was a great film. When you have the likes of filthy liars like Dick Morris, Ann Coulter and that sad pathetic old man Zell Miller, well don't expect an "unbiased" opinion. This piece of yesterday's toilet paper was put together so shabbily that it reeks of a high school production, although I've seen those that would top this vomit any time. In the end it's a pathetic response that is just right wing propaganda trying to spin their story and hoping that any one with half a brain in their head will believe all the trash that was spewed out in this crappy DVD. And as I've read other reviews that the sheeple out there who have grass seed for brains are convinced that this is the truth. Fortunately for most Americans we don't buy into their line of thinking and they hate it. If you're a good ole George W. Bush guy that hates them darned libs, by all means, light some candles, break out a bottle of Dom and make an evening of it patting yourself on the back and continue to live in make believe land. But for the smart intellectual people who want to see the other side, you'd spend better time counting the clouds in the sky than watch this pitiful filth.

The Incredible Hulk (2008)

This has redeemed the character!

[9/10 · 5 July 2008]

This was a great movie! Edward Norton IS Bruce Banner. The story, FX, acting, music (loved hearing the old tune from the series!) and scenes were great. This is what I expected five years ago when that other monstrosity "The Hulk" came out. Thankfully I didn't see that flop in the theater and watched it on home video. I remember being so disappointed with the whole movie. Nick Nolte as a drunk wife beating low life and the weird scenes along with the freaked up animals and...well not worth it because it doesn't deserve any space here. This movie is what I expected and more. Doing homage to the old show, i.e. Bill Bixby, Lou Ferigno and the old music was first class. Robert Downey Jr.'s cameo was first rate. Connecting two great films, Iron Man and this was perfect. The humor was done very well along with the drama of the story. Neither was over done and as a result gave just the right balance to make this a very enjoyable film. Spoiler ahead! I'm only removing one star because even though I'm a meat eater I didn't think that killing those two dogs was necessary and will gladly fast forward through those scenes when it comes out on DVD. Otherwise a great film and money well spent!

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman (1993–1998)

Fantastic show that made it's own, and was historically accurate just not all the time!

[9/10 · 3 April 2008]

I would first like to address the clueless individual who said this show lacked any kind of historical accuracy. Being a student of history and have taken enough classes in college to know the subject quite well, yes it did embellish certain things but not all of it was BS. Fact: There were a handful of women who were educated and did have degrees in medicine, they primarily came from what we would consider today Liberal areas in the North i.e. Boston, Philadelphia. Fact: The genocide that human garbage such as Custer and Chivington did to the Native Americans was well documented and treated very solidly during the two parter where Custer slaughtered Native Americans at Washita. Fact: After the Civil War, many people including single women, very few but they did make the trek, moved West because of the nightmarish slaughter of the War. Also it's spelled History or if you wanted to say Herstory, it's Her Story. You need to go back to school or take some anger management classes, given your hostile and laughable comment on a great show. Only drawback was the last season where Sully was living in a cave after killing that insect Sgt. O'Connor played very well by Patrick Kilpatrick. Also when Sully held that dead Indian baby after the Washita Massacre I was in college at the time taking a U.S. History course and did a paper on low life Custer, got an A- for that! Again, a great show that I wish could have gone on for at least one more season. Jane Seymour and the rest of the cast came into their own roles very well and it's a shame that it's not shown that much on T.V. anymore. FX, bring it back!

Star Trek: Nemesis (2002)

Not the worst!

[8/10 · 30 October 2007]

This really is not the worst of the Trek films. Two reasons why Nemesis did poorly. One, at the time the film came out the public in general was worn out with Star Trek. Voyager had just completed it's run and Enterprise was in it's second season. Two, the film had things that were a bit outlandish, i.e. the ridiculous size of the Scimitar. Plus the fact that the old cold war mentality of the evil Romulans was pretty much played out in the Trek universe at that point. As a trek fan knows the Romulans were a silent enemy of the Federation for 200 years. Then you have the Dominion War and the Romulan Empire joins the Federation Alliance and helped to defeat a ruthless power, the Dominion. Which made all of the other enemies look like kids in a sandbox. So reverting back to the cold war idea just didn't work. And having the same kind of ending like Spock's death in Star Trek II like Data's here, it just sank. On the other hand the idea was great and it worked to an extent. The Romulan Senate is something I have always wanted to see and given the fact that no other Star Trek movie has really gone into the Romulan race, I thought that that was a great theme. This film is one that I continually enjoy to watch and definitely put it above Star Trek V and Insurrection.

Blind Date (I) (1999–2006)

Funniest show and a reason for...

[8/10 · 6 December 2006]

Yes to continue my title this show is a reason to sign up with a paid service online. I found someone wonderful on a paid service and that is so much better instead of this silly show. For entertainment purposes Blind Date is absolutely hysterical. Case in point, they had a show last week where the "Hall of Shame" had one of the most obtuse and obnoxious idiots ever trying to swoon a lady who from the very beginning had no interest whatsoever in this jack ass. Even when they do the after interviews this woman plainly stated that she wouldn't date this dunce in this or any lifetime. Then aforementioned dunce said that he "won" her over and that he will definitely be going out with her again. But what stands out the most and I might add other comments very truly stated, is the absolute arrogance and stupidity of both the guys and the gals. Most of these dudes think they are God's gift to women and that the ladies are helpless whenever they are around their incredible charm. Most of the women are in-your-face whinny tarts who think that they'll find "Mr. Right" and when their expectations rightfully crash and burn they have this offish and ball crushing attitude. But the funniest is when the couples who obviously hate each other go off and it almost turns into fist to cuffs! Oh, and one more thing to add is the incredibly ridiculous and downright asinine things these people do on these dates. Are you kidding me? In no way would I go "go karting" or "skateboarding" on a first date. Other laughable romps include dance lessons, batting cages, paint-ball, tarot readings and massages. Hello producers, those are things that people do WHEN THEY'RE ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP! But all in all it does show the mediocrity that permeates the 20 something folks today. And as an earlier poster said that that is a sad look at the future if these nitwits procreate!

I Can Make You Love Me (1993 TV Movie)

A very good film about a very twisted person

[8/10 · 19 July 2006]

This film was done pretty well and the acting by Richard Thomas and Brooke Shields was good as well. Especially Richard Thomas who can play a good guy and in this case a psychopath very well. This film based on a true story really brings the reality of stalking to a horrific conclusion. It brings to light why California like other states finally had to recognize the inherent dangers of ignoring threats by sick people such as Farley. When Laura Black repeatedly complained about the abuse this loony tunes was throwing at her, their response was to say the least was light. Now with brave women like her and Teresa Saldana the country has zeroed in on nuts like Farley. I've heard other folks say that if she wasn't so mean to the guy in the first place that maybe he wouldn't have snapped. Sorry to say but when someone is willing to go that far and start out with the harassment that he did to her, they're far beyond getting a rejection and feeling bitter about it. For us normal people when a person doesn't want to go out with us we move on. That's life. But when dealing with a person like Farley, they've had that in them for a long time and in Laura Black's case she was the innocent who was targeted by that nut.

***SPOILER ALERT*** One scene that cracked me up was when Richard Thomas was in the ladies room at that restaurant and he's talking to Brooke Shields. Then a woman walks in and his expression completely changes from a slit-eyed cold stare to a wide-eyed madman when he tells her "get out of here!!!!!".

All in all a very good suspense film.

The New Partridge Family (2005 TV Movie)

What the @#%$@#?

[1/10 · 5 February 2006]

As Bill Murray's character said in Scrooged, "Gosh, does that suck!". I watched the search for the actors and actresses on VH1 and thought that it was a fun show. Mainly because I liked seeing David Cassidy and the other people from the original show. But when it started showing on VH1 I absolutely hated it period. What was a cute show was pathetically reinvented to be a reality show. Are you kidding me? It had absolutely nothing in common with the original and the people portraying the characters didn't even look like the original characters. Plus the fact that when they were doing the tests for the prospective candidates I found it a funny thing to watch. An American Idol type search. Sorry but if you want to do a remake of a classic show like The Partridge Family, get known and/or trained actors. Don't do this asinine talent search with wannabe morons who are hungry for their fifteen minutes. I was glad and relieved when this train wreck was derailed quick after it's start. Hey VH1, if you want to remake a classic show hire regular actors and then you may have something there, otherwise you're wasting the viewers' time and energy!

Three Men and a Little Lady (1990)

Wonderful Fun

[13 July 2004]

This movie is another example of where the sequel is much better than the original. For me personally this came out during a wonderful time. Fall of 1990 was great because I had just turned 21 and was going to clubs and bars for the first time. Plus it was right before I met my first love, ex wife now. She looked just like Nancy Travis and needless to say it was heaven on earth. This movie has everything: well made plot, great music, great acting and beautiful scenery in England. *SPOILERS*

This time around it's now been five years with little Mary and she's surprising everyone around her. Sylvia along with our three favorites from the original move to a nice townhouse in New York. Peter has developed feelings for Sylvia and can't let them out. Sylvia's rather insensitive mother, great actress who played her, tries to get her to marry the wimpy director and move back to England. Naturally the guy is someone who shouldn't be allowed around children because he cannot understand children. Peter finally admits his love for Sylvia and some of the most hysterical scenes follow. Needless to say that everything works out in the end and it is a riot! Opinions vary but this is a cute and fun film that makes this movie goer feel some good feelings from years back.

Amerika (1987)

Boring and unrealistic

[18 March 2004]

I remember when this stinkburger came out. I was a senior in High School and remember all the hype surrounding this. One thing stands out and that is when T.V. Guide had an article on the miniseries. The director was whining about how it's O.K. for Tom Cruise to shoot down Russians in Top Gun and that it wasn't O.K. for the Russians to occupy the United States. I thought fine, move to the Soviet Union if you don't like it here! Anyways beyond Kristofferson's overacting and downright annoying character, this could have been done much better. For instance, we get just a snippet of how this happened. No detail so I guess this dumb dumb director left it up to our imaginations, a definite sign of someone who belongs in High School theater. At least Red Dawn gave us a basis this was ridiculously vague at best. Cindy Pickett looked like a zombie in this. She had an annoying and whiney character that made me want to throw her into a Gulag A.S.A.P. If some folks liked it, hey you have the right to but this had no reality or credibility whatsoever. The only person that gave it any kind of life was Sam Neil who looked like he would rather do another Omen movie instead of this tripe. Even the Soviets at the time thought the miniseries was unprobable. I whole heartedly agree with the reviewers who say that after spending up to 10 hours watching this that at least we would get a good bang at the end, you know a CONCLUSION! It ended like a balloon running out of air, wilting into the end. I would much rather watch Red Dawn for 10 hours than this snoozefest. Unprobable plot, cheap effects and sets, dry and uninteresting characters, and finally shotty acting. Kristofferson's younger son looked creepy as well and couldn't act to save his life. One more thing, the reason this isn't shown anymore is that it sucked so bad that networks avoid it like the plague and cable stations don't want a riot outside their studios. This will eventually go down as nothing but a low budget boring MST3K caliber joke.

The New Gidget (1986–1988)

cute show

[14 January 2004]

I remember this show when it premiered back in 1986. I was 17 then and like most straight men from 14 to 94 watched it solely to see Caryn Richman in her sexy bathing suits. She was funny and the stories, unrealistic as they were, were fun to watch. I just kept waiting to see what sexy outfit Caryn would be wearing next. Sydney Penny's character was O.K., although a personal source who has worked with her in the past said she is a real b**ch. Dean Butler's character was a wimp and tiresome. They should have hooked Gidget up with someone who was more of guy than him. He never wanted to do anything outlandishly fun with her and was a party pooper most of the time. A kind of wannabe Ricky Ricardo. All in all it was a cute show that could have done one or two more seasons. I miss Caryn Richman, she is so cool and has a hot body as well. Besides the God-Awful Brady Bunch reunion movies, I've never seen her in anything else since The New Gidget. Come back Caryn, we miss you!

Hannity & Colmes (1996–2008)

Laughable

[5 September 2003]

I like to watch the O'Reilly Factor and some of the news on Fox but I cannot tolerate Sean Hannity for more than 2 minutes. That nauseating little punk is so blinded by his conservative nature that if a conservative burned down his house, killed his dog, wrecked his car and told him to go screw himself he would shake the other conservatives hand. He has no journalistic credibility or brains. He does not give people ample time to speak and if there is anyone who is remotely moderate or liberal he's ready to drive a stake into their heart. Alan Colmes is tolerable but when the heavy debates start he just kind of sits there and doesn't do much. They need to get James Carville on that show, woo man he would kick Hannity's ass off the planet! I am a moderate, not liberal or conservative and I try to give everybody the benefit of the doubt. However with an annoying little troll like Sean Hannity, it's a lost cause. Oh and by the way that show Jumped the Shark from day one!

Goliath Awaits (1981)

Lost Gem

[23 April 2003]

I remember this when it premiered in Nov. of 1981 when I was in the 7th grade. I remember the specifics very well, however other reviewers are wrong about a few of the facts. First off Christopher Lee's character was NOT the captain, he was the third officer of the ship and was in charge of the engine room. Second, the movie was not made to be a horror flick. I remember the T.V. Guide writeup about it then and it is a Mystery-Suspense story. Overall a very cool movie that had an interesting premise of what if? What if the Queen Mary sank or the Queen Elizabeth sank and what would the people be like after 40 years of isolation from the world. Lee is the most noteable when it comes to the acting. I like the other actors in the film but I will say that Mark Harmon, who is a good actor, in this one really overacted a few times. All in all a great story, decent acting and cool sets.

Gods and Generals (2003)

Great non-P.C. film

[10/10 · 17 March 2003]

Great Civil War film that DOES NOT WHITEWASH slavery. One of the best things about this film is that it does not follow the PC slime that is so prevalent in society. Don't take my word for it but this movie followed the lives of these people with great attention to historic detail. I think the biggest mistake that people make when watching something like this is that they are thinking with 21st century minds. When you see this you have to understand that this country, both northern and southern states, was very different. I've read other reviews for this and have noticed that people have'nt read their history. This movie accurately shows the events leading up to the war. Yes slavery was a cause, but not THE cause. Most of these people like Lee and Jackson loved the Union Army and were not seccesionists. Lee himself said "I believe that seccesion is unconstitutional and I believe that slavery is an immoral and political evil in any society". These men were fighting for their homes and what they believed in. When you watch the film, try and keep that in mind and don't listen to these doorknobs who claim that everybody in the northern states were all righteous and pure and wanted to liberate the black slaves in the south and that all southerners were racist traitors, dry that out and you could fertilize Central Park in New York. You be the judge, but honestly if history and the Civil War are not your thing then don't see the movie. However for those who love history and have an open mind then this is the movie for you. The acting is top notch, most noteably Stephen Lang as Stonewall Jackson. Also Jeff Daniels and Robert Duvall as General Lee. The costumes and sets were very believeable and historically accurate. The sound and special effects were well done, and it gives you the feel that you are there in 1863. Wonderful classic 9/10 stars.

The AristoCats (1970)

fun for the whole family

[15 January 2003]

This is one of the best disney classics around. I liked it so much I named one of my cats O'Malley! The music and animation were great. Also classic disney voices like Phil Harris along with great actors' voices Eva Gabor and Scatman Crothers make it even more enjoyable. I have read some of the other reviews for this and I just don't get how anyone wouldn't like this. It turned out some of disney's most well known classic songs (everybody wants to be a cat, the o'malley song) just to name a few. It is much better than the overblown animation movies today, they actually had people draw the stills, not computer animation. Again a great Disney CLASSIC!!!!!!!!