djs-specs Reviews

The Witcher (2019– )

I wanted to like it

[5/10 · 13 August 2023]

So, first thing's first, I haven't read any of the books or short stories that this series is based on and only played a small bit of the first Witcher game. I came into it almost completely fresh and with no real expectations beyond hoping that Henry Cavill continued to stay easy on the eyes.

Sadly for me, it did take a few episodes for the penny to drop during the first season that the story wasn't being told in a linear fashion. I mostly enjoyed the stories being told and the cast seemed to be doing a decent job of playing their parts as written. Some bits were better than others - I honestly don't understand why Geralt and Yennefer are a thing - but that's how things often go with condensing the written word for limited time. A re-viewing was more enjoyable because I wasn't such a dum-dum about the time jumping.

Season two started to slide in my opinion. Even without knowing that the story was starting to stray from the source I was just... a bit bored. I found it a little harder to care about what was happening to the main characters, preferring what was going on with the side stories. But I got through it and decided to continue on to season three, even with the knowledge that Henry was calling it quits after that.

Season three? Welp, maybe I'll try it again, but I honestly struggled so bad paying attention that I was more than slightly shocked by one particular turn of events involving a certain bard. But I was bored as hell and almost totally stopped caring about what happened. I doubt I'll continue to season four, but who knows? Maybe I'll finally catch COVID after it drops and be bored enough that John Wick won't beg to be watched for the hundredth time.

Elvis (2022)

Not bad

[7/10 · 2 July 2022]

All things told, I would've worked out Baz Luhrman was behind this film without being told - but all the glitz kinda works. Austin Butler does a bang-up job playing Elvis and it was rather refreshing to see Tom Hanks play a master manipulator with an air of quiet menace.

I do recommend you get a bathroom visit in beforehand.

Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)

Entertaining!

[8/10 · 3 May 2022]

Look, does this movie play fast and loose with the truth? Absolutely. And it no doubt will have upset many Queen fans with that fact. But for the rest of us who don't know the ins and outs of a duck's bum when it comes to the band, its an entertaining way to spend 134 minutes that hits most of the major beats in their timeline.

And I dare anyone to not get chills at the recreation of Queen's set at Live Aid.

Intrusion (II) (2021)

Predictable, formulaic, but short enough to sit through

[5/10 · 30 October 2021]

Intrusion brings precisely nothing new to the table. Its a story that's been done to death and in far superior movies. But at a snappy 1:22, including end credits, its not mind-numbingly boring. Its just a shame that Logan Marshall-Green and Freida Pinto - both fine actors - aren't given more to work with... but then, maybe that's a good thing since this film is so forgettable it shouldn't put a significant dint in their careers. Hopefully they got a healthy paycheque out of it.

Immortals (2011)

To paraphrase Roger Ebert...

[2/10 · 8 May 2021]

Immortals is the prettiest bad movie of 2011, maybe the decade. Its visually striking, but it is sorely lacking in literally everything else that makes a movie watchable. I found myself zoning out a many points because the script was dull and the performances lifeless. For the record, I did watch the whole thing, but I honestly couldn't wait for those end credits to roll.

Maybe you'll like it, but for me it was 110 minutes of my life I'll never get back.

Bill & Ted Face the Music (2020)

Light and fun!

[7/10 · 26 September 2020]

Look, if you don't already love Bill and Ted, don't even bother with this film. Because you're probably going to find the whole thing incredibly daft, especially with a pair of middle-aged men talking like a pair of 80s slackers. But if you enjoyed the first two films you are more likely than not to enjoy it as the light-hearted bit of entertainment that its intended to be. This movie isn't art. It doesn't push any boundaries. But it is fun.

Minions (2015)

Silly and cute

[7/10 · 8 August 2020]

Is this movie a cynical cash-grab? Yes. Is the plot flimsy? Yes. Is this movie art? Oh hell no. As movies go you'll definitely see much better. You'll also see worse. Taking it at face value - a film aimed at five-year-olds who are going to whine at their parents for the tie-in products - its a adorkable time-waster that managed to keep my attention for the duration.

Van Helsing (2004)

Big, Dumb Fun

[7/10 · 28 June 2018]

If you're after high art, or even much of a plot, this isn't the movie for you. Its silly to the point of being utterly ridiculous at points, and the CGI does NOT stand the test of time. But it really is worth watching just to see Richard Roxburgh - a truly talented actor - almost literally chew on the scenery playing Dracula.

My Crazy Ex (2014– )

Absolute garbage

[2/10 · 7 January 2018]

If the extensive cast list with a lack of 'himself/herself' didn't clue you in, this show is as fake as fake can be. Wikipedia calls it a 'reality storytelling' series, but I have little doubt that only a small handful of episodes have any sort of basis in reality... with the crazy cranked up to eleven. And its the over-the-top outlandishness that just makes this show silly and embarrassing to watch. Hard pass from me.

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

A great romp!

[9/10 · 27 October 2017]

I've been rather tepid towards the MCU since the get-go. Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed individual films but I've never really been hanging out for the next installment. However, the previews for this one did pique my interest so when I was invited to go see it by some friends I decided to make the effort (rather than waiting for it on Foxtel like I have for the last few).

I'm glad I went.

The best word for this film really is 'romp'. Its fun, its energetic and its often hilarious to watch. Its a complete tone change from the previous two Thor movies - the second in particular - and its all the better for it. While its a shame that some familiar characters couldn't make an appearance, and some did only briefly, I don't think the movie suffers horribly for their absence. The story holds together pretty well, in my opinion, and I didn't notice any glaring plot holes.

Kudos to everyone involved in this film, especially director Taika Waititi. I had a lot of fun watching it and I hope that other people will too.

Pocahontas 2: Journey to a New World (1998) (V) (1998 Video)

It's okay

[5/10 · 31 August 2014]

Very, very loosely based on the real-life Pocahontas' journey to England in 1616, this film isn't as bad as other reviews make it out to be. The animation seems to be on par with other Disney direct-to-video sequels. The songs aren't as good as in the original film, but they aren't terrible either. Granted, the story itself is rushed and takes massive liberties with history. But it isn't awful by any stretch of the imagination.

In short, this isn't a bad movie. Its not a great one, but it isn't that bad. I've certainly seen much, much worse. The kids will probably enjoy it well enough if they liked the original.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

A lot of fun!

[8/10 · 3 August 2012]

If you have a problem with movies that are played totally straight yet the premise is completely ridiculous, this move is so not for you. I mean, seriously, the title says it all - the 16th president of the USA hunts down the ravaging undead with his trusty axe. A historical-horror-action film, its meant to be silly as all get-out and that's what makes it fun.

The cast performed solidly, the make-up and costuming were great and the effects were sublime. Seriously, the action scenes were worth the price of admission alone for me. The script could've done with a bit of work, but you can't win them all I suppose.

If your like your movie premises silly and your action kickass, you will probably like this film. Don't go in expecting art or Oscar-worthy material because you will be disappointed.