joelsloane Reviews

Life Is Beautiful (1997)

Most Overrated Film of All Time

[1/10 · 9 December 2011]

I saw this "thing" (it doesn't deserve to be called a film) when it was released and I was absolutely dumbstruck at the favorable reaction it received; I continued to be amazed when it actually was nominated for Best Picture, Best Director, and actually won Oscars for Best Foreign Language Film and Best Actor for Benigni.

This movie sounds only wrong notes from beginning to end. Perhaps the Holocaust has become too far removed in history to allow modern audiences (especially American ones) to realize that it has been wildly mythologized and horribly distorted in this trash.

Those who "just loved" this movie -- as well as the members of the Academy who nominated it for Best Picture, etc. -- should talk to some of the quickly disappearing Survivors of the death camps; it will make them realize what a cinematic abortion Benigni has wrought. The "dramatic" moments are laughable, and the "comedic" moments are embarrassingly "cute". Benigni's "acting" (as well as that of his wife Nicoletta Braschi) is totally amateurish too. Those who compare Benigni to Chaplin have probably never seen a Chaplin FILM

Beginners (2010)

An Exercise in Self-Indulgence

[1/10 · 29 November 2011]

My wife and I tried to watch this movie three times. The first time we stopped after 20 minutes or so, because we both got very bored. Then, after reading some of the positive reviews on this forum, we felt that perhaps we were missing something, and decided to give it another try. We restarted watching it from the beginning, and this time around we endured 45 minutes of it before shutting it off, concluding that either we were indeed missing something, or that this is simply an unwatchable film.

Finally, after reading more positive reviews, I decided to re-watch the film to its conclusion, again re-starting it from the beginning -- my wife, who, although she once vowed "to be true to me in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health," actually REFUSED to share this punishment with me.

I've now concluded that I didn't miss anything, and that this film is simply an awkwardly and unsubtly written and directed exercise in cinematic self-indulgence (the movie is in fact based on the writer-director Mike Mills' personal experience).

And what does this experience consist of?

After the death of his mother from cancer, a young man in his thirties finds out that his 75-year-old father is gay; the father gets involved with a younger lover, and soon dies of cancer himself. The writer-director makes it abundantly clear, in no subtle ways, that the son is very saddened by his father's death-e.g. the son, a graphic artist, is working on a cartoon series titled "The Sads" (!). The son, who has difficulties "committing," eventually begins a romance with a young French woman.

Oh, yes, I almost forgot, the son is now left with his father's cute Jack Russell terrier ("Harry"), whose thoughts are indicated in subtitles

This riveting plot is told in an arty, disjointed way, where past and present are constantly juxtaposed.

Christopher Plummer (Hal, the father) and Ewan McGregor (Oliver, his son) did the best they could with this trivial confection; Goran Visnjik (Andy, Hal's young lover) looked and sounded totally ridiculous (was he wearing a wig?). As for Mélanie Laurent (Anna, Oliver's French girlfriend), I could hardly understand her. Fortunately, her scenes with McGregor consist mostly of long, meaningless silences.

Being a big-time dog and cat lover, I found the little Jack Russell ("Harry") absolutely cute and engaging -- though, even here, I found that giving him occasional subtitles was perhaps a bit TOO cute -- and further betrayed the director's desperation.

The only thing that could possibly have made this film worse is if instead of Ewan McGregor they had cast Matthew McConaughey as Oliver.

Good (2008)

Should have remained a stage play

[5/10 · 14 March 2011]

This is a poor film adaptation of C.P. Taylor's stage play. I can see how this drama may have been much more effective on stage; unfortunately, under Vicente Amorim's amateurish direction this story loses all its impact as a motion picture.

Although others on this board have complained about Mortensen's performance, as well as the use of British accents, I happen not to agree: Mortensen's against-type performance was excellent, and the use of British accents served to constantly remind us that the characters were foreign, and, at the same time, allowed us to understand them. (Mortensen and others speaking in their native American accents would have been much more incongruous and jarring).

My main complaint about this movie is that it adds absolutely nothing to our knowledge of the Holocaust. It's an entirely superfluous film.

The Aristocrats (2005)

You'll laugh, but...

[6/10 · 24 February 2011]

I went to see "The Aristocrats" after reading the glowing reviews in the NY Times and elsewhere. In retrospect I now find that the reviews were somewhat hyperbolic. Sure, I did laugh my head off at certain parts, e.g. George Carlin's ad-lib pile on of gross-out physiological details, Bob Saget cracking up as he is trying to tell his own foul version of the venerable joke, Mario Cantone's Liza impersonation, Kevin Pollak's doing a Chris Walken rendition, Gilbert Gottfried's cathartic retelling (soon after 9/11), and Billy the Mime's 'telling' of the joke, which I found to be pure genius -- it may even make me reconsider my aversion for mimes. Another very impressive 'telling' was done by a prestidigitator through the manipulation of cards.

Chris Rock, one of the smartest comedians around, appears briefly in the movie, not to tell his version of the joke, but to comment on why a black audience might not find it all that funny: black comedians, he explains, were able to "work blue" way before whites since they were excluded from radio and TV in the early days, and therefore they didn't have to watch what they said.

And it was a very pleasant surprise to see old-timers like Shelley Berman, Larry Storch, Tim Conway -- and Chuck McCann (remember him?)

But some comics contributed absolutely nothing to the movie: Eddie Izzard's incoherent ramblings should have been edited out, as should have Emo Philips' vapid remarks -- why is this guy in show business anyway? Another non-funny comic was Don Rickles (whom I personally haven't found funny in a L O N G time). Phyllis Diller also added nothing except her name and famous guffaw -- and her uncovered arms can gross you out (Hey, maybe THAT was part of the joke!)

My main complaint about the movie is that in their attempts to make the joke as disgusting as possible, some comics ventured into very disturbing territory, such as incest of unspeakable variations between parents and their young children. This sort of thing is neither witty, funny, or creative. Apparently I wasn't the only one to have this reaction judging from the silence (or embarrassed giggles) of the rest of the audience whose laughter stopped at such moments.

On the other hand, two comedians, including Andy Richter, telling this disgusting joke to their respective toddlers, who couldn't possibly understand them, was a truly hilarious bit.

Night and Day (1946)

Enjoy this movie for what it *IS*

[8/10 · 24 February 2011]

To criticize this movie for glossing over Cole Porter's homosexuality is very naive. If you expect a biopic made in 1946 to be a truthful, out-of-the-closet version of Cole Porter's life, you either don't know much about American social history, or are living in an alternate universe. However, if you are a fan of Cole Porter's music, relax and enjoy this flick for what it is, namely a great Hollywood musical. If you accept the movie on those terms, you are in for a most enjoyable experience. As a musical "Night and Day" is in a class with the best of the genre: "Golddiggers of 1933," "Anchors Aweigh," "Bathing Beauty," "Singin' in the Rain," "The Band Wagon," etc. It is a treat to see and hear every great Porter tune rendered with the delightful kitsch that defined Hollywood musicals of that Classic Era

Brokeback Mountain (2005)

To see this as "Gay Cowboy Movie" is missing the point

[9/10 · 24 February 2011]

It might be relevant, in reviewing this film, to state at the outset what your sexual orientation is, for this might color your perspective -- although I'm well aware that not every gay person will necessarily like the film, and not every straight will hate it.

I happen to be a straight male, and I viewed this movie strictly for what it is: a story of love and love lost. To approach this movie primarily as a "gay cowboy movie" is tantamount to regarding "King Kong" as a story about bestiality. I personally am offended by the evangelicals and their ilk seeing nothing but sodomy in this beautifully crafted telling of an affecting love story. What dirty minds these Bible- thumping morons have. They see only ugliness where there is only beauty.

Of the two protagonists, Jack (Gyllenhaal) and Innis (Ledger), only the former is definitely gay, whereas Innis is a laconic, combative, probably homophobic loner, who finds it difficult to make any human connection. He finally makes that connection with Jack.

A beautiful love story, admirably told by a master movie-maker, Ang Lee. Paradoxically, I hope that this movie does not become too great a commercial success, because if it does, it will become retrospectively trivialized by scores of Hollywood "gay-themed" copycat dramas concerned only about the bottom line.

Shall We Dance? (2004)

A bankrupt remake

[1/10 · 24 February 2011]

SPOILERS (although this lame remake could not possibly be spoiled any further). The first, most basic rule a beginning writer (including screenwriter) is taught is "Show, don't tell"; that is, let the readers, or viewers, realize for themselves what emotions a character may feel, from his actions, not from his words. This wholly unnecessary remake of the wonderful 1996 Japanese original breaks this elementary rule. Indeed, would any viewer have guessed that Richard Gere was so much in love with Susan Sarandon, had he not said so to her (and therefore to the audience) in the manipulative scene in which he appears at her work in formal dress with rose in hand? Certainly nothing from what we see of their relationship before this scene hints at such deep love. (Incidentally, whenever the screenplay departs from the Japanese original, as in the above-mentioned scene, it becomes totally bankrupt and unoriginal: the scene is lifted straight out of "An Officer and a Gentleman," when Gere, in full white uniform, appears at Debra Winger's job to carry her away.) I'm a great fan of Stanley Tucci (who is good in everything, even in this), but I almost lost all respect for him to allow himself to appear in this atrocious movie. How could he not realize that the dialog was so poorly written? I have no doubt that this remake will be very successful, judging from the taste of the American public, which seems to have sunk to new depths. If you absolutely MUST see this movie, I recommend that you first rent the DVD of the Japanese original, and then compare it to this remake to appreciate the truth of my critique.

Million Dollar Baby (2004)

Cliché-packed amateur production

[1/10 · 23 May 2010]

I never cease to be amazed at how easily manipulated the American public can be: witness the rave reviews and awards lavished on Eastwood-directed movies: that pretentious excuse for a Western, "Unforgiven," got the Oscar for Best Picture for Goodness' sake! As for MDB, its plot is full of clichés and inconsistencies that leave thinking viewers frustrated. (Judging from some of the reviews on this site it seems that I'm not the only one to have been mostly underwhelmed by this Eastwood amateurish confection.) After the first 15 minutes of listening to Morgan Freeman's sappy voice-over comments I felt like beating up Walter Brennan. The best I can say about this movie is that Clint Eastwood gives his best performance since "Revenge of the Creature."

Caché (2005)

For THIS they decapitated a live rooster?

[5/10 · 22 May 2010]

"Caché" is a very engrossing and suspenseful film, until the final credits start rolling unexpectedly on the screen. This is when you suddenly realize that you've been taken for a ride.

Those who see this movie as a cinematic chef-d'oeuvre, and detect hidden meanings in it - - such as a political subtext, for example -- should get a salary from Michael Haneke, the director, for they are doing work for him.

"Caché" is merely a flawed thriller, full of plot holes and unanswered questions. The final scene, which takes place silently and almost imperceptibly as the final credits roll, raises more questions than it answers.

The acting is superb all around (I expected no less from Auteuil and Binoche), and Haneke's direction is masterful -- but, unfortunately, in this instance, to little avail. The enjoyment one derives from this movie is analogous to the sort of enjoyment one derives from sexual intercourse when it doesn't result in an orgasm. You enjoy the ride, but end up frustrated. Had the movie reached a satisfactory climax, I would have given it a 10. As it stands I must give it a 5 -- purely for the ride.

Tarzan Escapes (1936)

Two disturbing episodes

[6/10 · 22 May 2010]

As a kid I LOVED all Johnny Weissmuller Tarzan flicks, including this one. But one incident has been bothering me all these years; Benita Hume finds two adorable lion cubs in a tree trunk, and as she picks them up in her arms and starts cuddling them, their mother appears rushing menacingly towards Benita. Capt Fry shoots the lioness dead just in the nick of time. What bothers me is that nothing more is said or shown of the two cubs, who, we are to assume, must have perished without their mother's protection and nourishment. My anxiety about the fate of the cubs was rekindled recently when I viewed the DVD version of the film. Another incident which disturbs me is when one of the native bearers tumbles screaming to his death from the precipitous rocky mountain passage; however, before falling he had dropped the large crate of supplies he was carrying, prompting Fry's comment: "That was a close call" (or something to that effect). Never mind that a human being has just perished horribly

Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired (2008)

A cinematic mishmash

[5/10 · 10 June 2008]

This documentary seems to have been directed and edited by sufferers of ADD. Although by the end we get a fairly complete picture of Roman Polanski -- from his traumatic childhood, Hollywood acclaim, the tragic murder of his pregnant wife, and, above all, his conviction for engaging in sex with a minor -- this picture is presented in a irritatingly fragmented way. This doc is unable to abide by chronology -- past and present are intermingled capriciously -- and segments are interspersed by unidentified and irrelevant footage of Polanski films (obviously in order to lend the doc some heft.)

Besides the jumbled chronology and intrusive footage, the story also employs text appearing as it is typed across the screen. This too is intrusive since it adds little, if anything, to Polanski's story.

In short, a fascinating story told in a most confusing and frustrating way.

Paris, I Love You (2006)

Très disappointing

[1/10 · 5 June 2007]

Except for an establishing shot at the opening of each of these 18 flimsy shorts, we get absolutely no sense that we are in Paris. Most pieces take place indoors, or in nondescript locations, which could have been in any city in the world. Most of the situations too could be taking place anywhere.

Some stories are totally abysmal -- by far the worst being Vincenzo Natali's "Quartier de la Madeleine," starring Elijah Wood and Olga Kurylenko as vampires; another irritatingly meaningless piece is Christopher Doyle's "Porte de Choisy."

If your French is good you will enjoy and appreciate Alexander Payne's "14ème Arrondissement," starring Margo Martindale as a Denver postal worker spending her holiday in Paris; the voice-over consists of her narration in terrible French which one must understand in order to really appreciate, since the subtitles will not do justice to her hilarious Franglais ("... après avoir sauvé mon argent..."). This is by far the best piece in the collection -- which isn't saying much