yippeekiyah Reviews

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)

the hobbit - back for cash again

[5/10 · 21 December 2012]

ABOUT THE FILMS MAKING. seen as Jackson said the hobbit would be in 2parts as its such a big book. and then he puts the behind the scenes making of on you-tube to watch for months and years. and during the videos says its 2parts and says its 2part many times during filming and talking to Gandalf. and IMDb had it down as 2 parts but then ooh wait lets spin it out for more cash

***spoiler***

ABOUT THE FILM ITSELF. well seen as its a few years on I'm never a fan of prequels

CAST. most of them look good Cate is stunning but fro do just looks to old now BOO

as for the new comers well young Bilbo i wasn't n still not sure of freeman was good with his voice but just looks nothing like Bilbo and its hard to let go of but watching he was good just i didn't like the way they play his character as a complete old man and a bit of a loser. as for Kili Billy Oin Gloin Boing and what ever the hell they are all called a cast of 13dwarfs is never gonna work and its fullish directing and foolish to stick them all in and keep to the book like that. with so many faces in one spot with fat suits on i couldn't pick one of them out to watch during scenes of course close ups of faces and yes you spot Nesbitt (yuk why would you wanna) and Adim Brown... wait who yes no clue who he was but you can see his real face so easy its just bad they are meant to be dwarfs not men. a few more faces in there and some good actors but all in one screen mixed up i couldn't pick them out of a line up. at least with fellowship you had a mix of elf dwarf human and can spot them but one huge rule of film and directing is if you can see all the characters and associate with them then you don't care about them and thats whats happening here i don't no them and don't care about them its just a group of blob shapes moving around the screen could be 11 of them or 15 i couldn't tell or pick one of them out unless its close up shots of them.

STORY. right so why is this set 20mins before the start of fellowship ?? i have no clue it just kicks of with a bit of a crap opening and we see Bilbo right but not try hold the ring in his pocket ??

and how do they link in the old footage now of Bilbo finding the ring ?? they have him find it in this movie so how does the fellowship footage work now did he lose it and then find it again lol ops not gonna work ("lets have c3pos memory wiped lol" "oh no r2 do something").

there's no voice over start up or build up but rather into the film and have Bilbo read and tell us but its kinda strange that way.. then you have a cut back to 60years what is this an episode of dallas pfft.

cue gandalf just showing up at young bilbos house he just rocks up says he i need you to go on an adventure but he comes across ad an old creep and perv in that scene and i don't get why Bilbo ain't already friends with him.. for the sake of film i don't care if the book was done a set way books ain't films you always have to adjust and this made no sense to start of like this it felt rushed and silly.

the dwarfs all show up and eat stuff talk i still have no clue why they have all come together now and for what but hey I'm watching so its gonna tell me at some point I'm sure.... Bilbo says no I'm not going.... then Bilbo gets up runs after them "I'm going on a trailer poster" or something like that. they walk and walk and bore me with long stuff and then we find out some other back story i will point out i hate flashbacks then find out we have a bunch of white troll/goblin things after them. then some pointless bits we cut away to fill in some extra characters and of we go into more walking then catch up with other characters and then flash backs YAWNNN. then comes the trolls scene yeh its gonna be a cool fight cause gimli kicked ass but no its lame they are all lame and cant take down 1 single troll with a group of 14 but. gimli would have wrecked them in minutes alone. then bore me go see elves some old faces oks thats fine and little back story thats good but not great and then of they go again bump into more goblin people under ground and then of the go on a huge run again boring and back fighting the troll/goblin guys outside but its not action just running scenes over and over. then rescue by giant eagles yes fun cool but why do they drop them of just a few miles from the mountain that they are going to. it may have been a good idea in a book in the 30s but for film thats terrible and just no.

all in its kinda like T2 its the same but remade with very same style scenes walks action and just is not great at all. i couldn't care less about the dwarfs and they were the big draw to the film for me

Red Lights (2012)

yawn

[2/10 · 27 September 2012]

boring it put me to sleep.

**spolier**

its not what it advertises to be and whats more its not really a Robert De Niro or a Sigourney Weaver film its a Cillian Murphy film and that boy cant hold the camera as a leading man.

sure hes good in films and sure he can be a great actor but hes a Ben Aleck hes only good in small amounts and cant hold a film on his own.

as for the story well its not what it makes it to be its more like a real life version of ghost-busters only not as funny and not as good to watch.

the directing is mental in parts and just distracting you from the fact there is nothing to watch or care about at all its a poor film the director should be shot then shot again to make sure he makes no more crap like this

terrible film to watch one of the few films in my life i turned of or didn't watch the end of and i seen the assassination of Jesse James at the cinema and 11 people walked out on it but not me

Alien vs. Predator (2004)

AVP or straight to DVD

[1/10 · 7 September 2012]

this is junk

after fans see the alien skull in predator 2 this is what we get from Hollywood 14years later ???? junk the director stars and the crew should all facepalm this is awful

a crappy start of some woman who i hate during the movie some guy digging pepsi bottles and then lets all jump on a ship get out to some place without knowing why we are there lol get a grip writers

then its boring walk down the big tunnel (YAWN)then the big fat predators arrive and my god they are fat they look like much smaller heavier men not like the great kevin peter hall who gave the predator a personality and style and movements these retards don't move right walk or do anything like all i think of is this is not a predator but stone cold steve in a mask as they are clearly so heavy and short

and the back story oooo lets see shall we they come to earth and breed us like a bad porn movie and then every one hundred years they return ???? so why did a predator come to earth in 1987 and hunt arnie ????? and in predator the girl says it has happened before "only in the hottest years" so they hunt us sooooo why would they have a secret artic base hidden under the ice for ???? o thats right we show up as we seen a heat signature from a sat in space but the predators didn't know that so the 3 predators would have all showed up with no humans around ????? for the aliens to breed ??? so what are they gonna hunt ????

bad bad script so junk its unreal

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)

sequel

[4/10 · 7 September 2012]

sequels can be tricky

the 1st AVP was dog turd but this is actually a better film and watch its more enjoyable

sure its a little cheaper and not great directing but its still better when you take into account the time it took to make the 1st film and write it direct it and the cast yet this film has less time a smaller budget almost complete unknown cast members its well done to them for trying and putting more effort into it all

if they had bigger budget this could have bee fantastic as it stands its still a fun film to catch now and then and better to watch then AVP but its no predator and its no aliens

The Expendables 2 (2012)

not over rated

[4/10 · 29 August 2012]

**** spoiler alert ****

kicking of with a huge start sequence we have all the action you see from the trailer in the opening 5mins. we have the team on some kind of rescue mission but they bump into Arnie "yehhh" No why is he there ooh you get a small explanation but what happened to his team why ain't they with him or helping him are they dead waiting ???? no reason given mean while jet Li's ripping up bad guys in the kitchen the way only he can do and its brilliant. then its outside for a massive escape plan we have a very lame scene with bad guys not shooting at them but trying to climb up and grab them like zombies ?? and then they use some giant cable to rip slide away. now at this point i do get a little confused sly and Statham break of and need cover from Hemsworth but where did the rest of them go and why ?? they jump into the water and then sly and Statham run to the plane ??? why didn't they all go to the plane ??? so they can do some water shoot out scene add a little more action to the film. and at this point its feeling a little lame now and not expendable like at all. now in the words of Li they win and take of and then we lose jet Li for the rest of the movie. I'm sorry but thats a cameo not a starring role hes not in the film and this takes at least 2points of the film for me.

boring boring boring to fast sexy carpenter boring boring...

boring boring boring cut to....

last scene... its all hell breaking lose here sly Arnie Willis go in firing into an airport blasting away jcvd never pulls the trigger he just keeps backing up away never ducks a bullet just backs up. then chuck shows up again ????????? the team are not all over the airport but all over the place in there very own little scenes as clearly they ain't all in the film at the same time. Dolph's forgotten we have sly run of after jcvd Willis steals Arnie's line Arnie takes Willis line and then chuck steps up for Arnie to crack a dreadful line "whoo iz nixed Rambo" then pointless action statham fights whats his face and ooh the Chinese CIA girl fires a gun who is she why is she in this film ????? then sly goes after jcvd into some set and they have a stand off. now this is my fav bit jcvd is great here just love "man or sheep" brill scene followed by the worst ever fight scene.... sly picks up jcvd slams him a few punches jvcd head buts him and jumping split kick yehhhh and thats about it jcvd never kicks or hits him again Sly's put over a railing lands jcvd picks up a knife sly kills him

TERRIBLE. these guys are screen and action legends from the 80s and that was poor full of holes the entire film its just bring in any one no character reasons or script just scene to scene movement no story what so ever to fast and terrible lines bad acting and with these guys probably only ever doing this film together the biggest waste of film in cinema history such a waste.

Outpost: Black Sun (2012)

outpost 2 review

[1/10 · 28 August 2012]

dreadful i would rather have my teeth pulled out by a monkey than ever watch this again.

huge fan of the 1st film its was low budget sure but it had a great cast there were well picked and the style and feel of the film was great very sort of David fincher tight and close it felt like a real place and real bunker a little light on action maybe but the script was simple and enjoyable and you could watch it more than once and happily keep it on the DVD shelf.

BUT this was total junk, full of holes including... some woman doing something is she some kind of war criminal chaser ??? who they hell cares. then some guy joins her is he the bad guy is he the hero who cares. a typical cheap sequel like AVP2 with the over the top army getting involved scenes and poor action and no real explanation for anything at all and why the hell do these zombies now scream like mad ?? i have to turn the volume down on then screaming i don't remember them screaming like 70s bmovie zombies in the last one so what the hells going on. the cast are cheap wannabes to look almost like the last cast and again who cares about them, no character build up no real story as to why anything is going on, and why is there a crazy old zombie lady with a huge rack limping around ? its poor the director will never work again.

a poor poor remake in fact if they had brought this to my house to review i would have hit them with an ashtray.

junk total junk avoid all day long