robertlauter25 Reviews

Friday the 13th (1980)

Definitiely not a Halloween Clone.

[9/10 · 26 August 2018]

Critics like Roger Ebert lost bodily control of themselves in the process of hurling insults at this movie upon release. They called it a rip off of John Carpenter's Halloween. I didn't think so when I saw it in the early 80's and having just bought the box set, guess what... I still don't. Aside from teenagers getting killed, there is literally no common denominator between the two. And by that standard, Halloween itself was a clone of the Texas Chainsaw massacre. The meteoric rise of this franchise reminds me of the Trump election, the more self entitled snobs mocked it, the better it did. The producers and studio got so sick of it, that they just said the hell with it and used it as a springboard to actually clone Halloween with the many sequels, a handful of which were good too. Aside from great cinemaphotography and Mafredini's creative score, the young actors gave stellar performances, especially given the limited subject matter. I fail to this day to see, how the teenagers in Halloween were anymore likeable or developed than the cast of this film. The atmosphere is way creepier than Halloween, the only edge Halloween has on Friday the 13th from my perspective was we knew the backstory from the beginning, where as Friday springs it on us at the end. Also the ending sequence of Halloween is better due to the music, where as Manferdini or Cunnigham for some reason elected to switch to "happy music" for the closing credits, instead of the creepy theme music, in any event, Friday the 13th is and never was a Halloween clone and stands on it's own as a classic, it's sequels, well that kind viewers as they said in Conan the Barbarian, is a different story.

Mortdecai (2015)

worth a look

[8/10 · 30 April 2017]

This movie isn't memorable, but it was well made and funny. It's basically just a character study, which is why people are complaining about it. If it is a character study about serious subjects critics rave and call it poignant. But often times if it's a character study about a goofy person people bark and complain. It reminds me of Husdon Hawk in the late 80's which got panned and attacked, but which I also liked. Both movies are worth seeing, neither are classic, but if every worth while movie was a classic, where would classics be?

John Wick (2014)

Long live the man of Action

[9/10 · 30 April 2017]

I grew up watching movies with alpha males doing what alpha males do. whether it was the 60's with John Wayne, Lee Marvin, Sean Connery and Steve Mcqueen. The 70's with Clint Eastwood, Charles Bronson, Roger Moore, Gene Hackman and Burt Reynolds. Or the 80's with Chuck Norris, Sylvester Stalone, Steven Segal, Arnold Scwarzeneggar, Bruce Willis, Mel Gibson and Van Damn. Something happened in the 90's with regards to the action genre, and Keanu Reeves was the only actor from that time forward who ever seemed to keep the tradition going, I liked Speed, the Matrix better and John Wick best of all. Reeves like all the names I mentioned get's guff for not being a "Serious Actor". My retort..who cares? While hold overs from early years like Willis, Segal, Gibson Van Damn and stalone continued making descent action flicks after the 90's. Reeves is the only actor I can think who basically came on the scene in the 90's who stayed true to his roots and is single handily keeping this genre alive.

John Wick is a dark film that reminds me of Blade Runner, Dark City, and From Hell with regards to production, only the lens filter used in this movie was so dark it almost becomes distracting. (this is not the only recent film I can think of that has this problem) Aside from this one technical problem, the movie was perfect. While not as gritty as Able Ferrera's Fear City or as comic book as The Payback from the 90's it seems to meet in the middle of these two films somewhere. The action scenes are some of the best ever put to film, the soundtrack animates the movie as much as the fight sequences, and it has absolutely Zero political correctness factor to it which is so refreshing. I liked this movie a lot. Long love the man of action.

The Picasso Summer (1969)

Acclaimed?

[4/10 · 10 July 2016]

There are literally 3 reasons for watching this movie. Yvette Mimieux in a bikini, picasso's art made into cartoons and a bull fight, all can be achieved by watching 10 minutes of it on mute, to block out the grating, redundant score that drones on like a nagging woman during a hangover This whole film is a mess, that plays like a woodstock era porn film, only less entertaining.

I hear all sorts of nonsense about Albert Finney agreeing to do the 1981 movie Looker ( a wonderful movie), yet somehow this monstrosity passes as legitimate cinema? The horrid story line plays like a travel column in readers digest. The split screen jigsaw puzzle, multi-spectrum cinema photography resembles a segment of Rowan and Martin's Laugh Inn, and the two leads seem really quite bored, which is no doubt how any sentient being will feel after slogging through 10 minutes of this mess.

Evidently there where issues with the production of this film, directors fired, producer Bill Cosby demanding his name be removed, Picasso refusing to make an actual appearance and so forth, it certainly shows in the final product. I cannot emphasize enough the agony caused by the elevator music that accosts one throughout, the stale dialogue and idiotic story line. How this got any critical acclaim only shows how utterly, defunct so called professional movie criticism has always been. Simply Awful

Children of the Corn (1984)

The best King adaptation

[9/10 · 15 June 2016]

I'm streaming this movie on netflix while I write this. It's been available since I signed up about 5 months ago, which means a younger generation finds this movie as interesting as original fans do. Plus the price remains right. This movie along with Halloween and Friday the 13th set the mold for the low budget horror flick. It was way better than A Nightmare on Elm street which was released the same year.

COTC was universally trashed by critics, which is nothing new. If you read any of their reviews, there's no substance in the criticism. People forget professional critics are doing their jobs, and many times I truly believe they spew venom without actually even looking at the movie.

Forget, the haunting theme, and creative camera work, or the subject matter from the contemporary master of horror, for just a second. Forget the cast, which was a mixture of unknowns, seasoned B actors and the up and coming leads and the fact this movie cracked the top 100 in 1984 one of the record setting years in cinema as far as box office success and critical acclaim. Instead focus on and how this movie makes you feel after watching it. Horrified and unsettled, which is exactly what a real horror film should do. If Hitchcock had seen this movie their is no doubt in my mind as a student of cinema he would have approved.

My only criticism of this gem is that there wasn't more emphasis on the underlying dogma of the tittle characters. For all I know the scenes wound up on the cutting room floor. As a result the impetus for the cult seems vague, and probably could have been cleared up with 90 seconds of additional dialogue or monologue. That much said COTC is a horror flick that has stood the test of time. Just ask a millenial.

I've never understood how people claim king adaptations have been so mishandled. COTC,The Shining, Stand By Me and Carrie qualify as classic. Pet Semetary and the Dead zone where good. Creepshow, Christine, Dream Catchers,Cujo and Salem's Lot where at the very least above average. Graveyard Shift, Silver Bullet, it and the Stand where flawed but at least mildly entertaining. And yes I've read all these books and stories.

Stephen King has often maligned many of these movies, but this was the guy who made Maximum Overdrive which was truly awful. He's a much better author than a movie maker so his criticism should be taken with a grain of salt. He turned his nose up at this movie. And I can't for the life of me understand why.

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi (2016)

What is it about the Clintons?

[8/10 · 18 January 2016]

13 hours is a solid film, there is some editing that needed to be addressed, particularly in the first 30 minutes of the film. I guess these scenes where supposed to set the stage, but the facts could have been laid out in a couple of paragraphs, then transitioned into introducing us to the contractors, That much said this ranks right up there with Blackhawk Down and Hotel Rwanda with regards to historical thrillers and is well worth a look and more historically accurate than Hotel Rwanda...what is it about the Clintons? This movie is very light on the Clinton state department, and only casually mentions the You Tube video cover story released. But I guess casual mention is better than none at all

Mystic River (2003)

Yawn

[4/10 · 16 January 2016]

I found this movie completely dull. I'm a big fan of Clint Eastwood, and from a technical standpoint it was well made. But It moves at a snails pace, and can't seem to make up it's mind whether it's a character study or a a typical crime drama. Sean Penn who in my estimation is an over rated actor,does a good job with this, probably because he didn't have to far to go, he just plays some grumpy guy, kind of like what Harrison Ford does, but everyone else seems bored, and when I saw this in the theater the audience barely applauded when it was over. I certainly didn't. Don't understand how classic movies get 5-6-7 stars and this thing get's 8. it is what it is.

Jaws 3-D (1983)

Numbers don't lie ..people do

[8/10 · 16 January 2016]

Numbers don't lie folks..people do. This movie was a financial success, yet is was yanked by Universal after 4 weeks. It still finished 15th for the year of 1983. To put it in perspective the number 14 movie Scarface also was released threw Universal was allowed to run for 3 months, despite and X rating and only made slightly more money, and was a PR nightmare for the Studio. Why is this?

First of all the producers of Jaws and Jaws 2 refused to get involved because they wanted this sequel to be a Comedy. Secondly Joe Alves the second unit director of 1 and 2 (the guy that does all the non dramatic hard work like stunts and sharks) was given this project as a debut. Most directors don't get a big budget debut, so this must have really ruffled the feathers of Alve's former bosses. So we know the rest, it was released, made a bunch of money, and to mend fences with the original Jaws hot Shots Universal yanked it. After all they just wanted the money.

And it's really a shame because a lot of hard work went into this movie. I categorically dismiss the criticism about the special effects of anybody who didn't see this movie in 3D the way it was meant to be seen. The arguments that the brody boy's leap frog from kids in Jaws 2 (released in 78) to where they are in this movie (Released in 83) is equally idiotic. Nowhere is it stated or even implied that this movie actually takes place in the year it was released.

The cast is Great with the exception of Quaid, who lacks chemistry with Bess armstrong who really nailed her role, so he should have been replaced. Alan Parkers re-scoring is great, and who can complain about getting to see a young Leah Thompson in a bikini.

It's a shame politics get in the way of artistic expression, the critics are always there, but supply drives demand, a movie can't be successful if it get's yanked. Just ask Andrew Dice Clay

Two of a Kind (1983)

critics are snobs nothing wrong with this movie

[8/10 · 14 January 2016]

This is the type of movie pseudo-sophisticated snobs who write sprawling reviews including a play by play of the movie they are supposed to be criticizing, instead of describing, drool over. They harangue us about how predictable it all is, how it fails to re- capture the magic of grease, so on and so forth etc. They lament how It's a simple vehicle, much like a Chuck Norris or Charles Bronson vehicle, except this one uses the Grease duo...newsflash...SO WHAT? The primary purpose of film and art is to entertain, if you can entertain and make a statement at the same time, more power to you, but it is not a requirement. Two of a kind has no statement to make..neither did Bringing up Baby but I don't here these twits lining up to bash it. That much said 2 of a kind is not on the same level as that film, but it is still a good movie. Travolta and John have a natural chemistry that makes you believe they really do care about one another, and more importantly are attractive enough, in a bare bones way for the audience to care about. Oliver reed steels the show and beats out Bill Cosby (the devil and max devlin) Ray Walston (Damn Yankees) and George Burns (Oh God You Devil) with regards to Luciferian Comic relief, and Charles Durning is one of the few character actors who seemed capable of transitioning effortlessly from villain to, dare I say? Angel.

With Regards to this movie under performing at the box office, it should be pointed out that only 2 movies released wide in the Christmas season of 83 did well Sudden Impact and Uncommon valor..and most of the top 10 films where released in the spring/summer season. Yentl and Silkwood where not released wide, but competed with this one and due primarily to undeserved critical acclaim, ran twice as long making only slightly more money than this one. The executives at 20th century fox went crazy with the promotion budget, and threw a temper tantrum yanking it after only six weeks because it didn't live up to their unrealistic expectations. The snob critics played their part in cutting it down in it's prime.(if only Box office mojo was around in the 80's maybe the critics and execs would have been put in their rightful places)

I saw 2 of a kind as a kid on HBO and ..I remembered very little of it..which is odd, but I remembered liking it. The Curiosity led me to rent it on netflix. Having just watched it...I still like it. The dining room scene is creative screwball perfection and the song "Twist of Fate" is 80's bliss. Two of a kind will not change your life...but as much as many film critics might hate it...many of us "average folk" like our lives, and enjoy simple formula films, tastefully done, using talented actors, in movies that don't attempt to unravel the mysteries of the universe. You might not remember much about it after you see it, but my guess is just like I did as a 9 or 10 year old, once you do, you will remember enjoying it, because, all heavy handed aesthetic challenges aside, it is an enjoyable movie. And more importantly it has the added novelty of allowing you to enjoy it again and again

It Follows (2014)

carpenter-esque

[9/10 · 31 October 2015]

I was leery renting a horror film, they've all become so awful, especially the supernatural thrillers. But the tittle and the synopsis convinced me to brave a peek, I was not disappointed This is the movie paranormal activity wanted to be. While paranormal activity labored under the idiot plot of a Husband merely shrugging off a wife who stared motionless at him for hours while he slept, and seizing a camera instead of a weapon or car keys. The characters in this movie don't behave like idiots at all.

From the scoring to the pace of the menace it is rich with homage to Carpenter's Halloween, it also owes much of it's style and theme to movies like Jacob's Ladder, The Happening, Susperia and The Entity but it doesn't rip any of these movies off.

It also is an allegory which is refreshing because while I enjoy a slasher flick as much as anyone, rarely do even supernatural horror films address the human situation in any real way, beyond the occasional theological reference of holy vs unholy or sane vs insane. They even slip in some social commentary in a way that seems natural.

It follows makes my top 10 list of horror movies made since the new century and maybe since 1990. Which is saying a great deal considering the sad state of cinema these days.

From Hell (2001)

Modern Classic

[10/10 · 31 October 2015]

I was disappointed when I learned this movie did so poorly at the box office. It certainly had nothing to do with the movie. I can't think of anything I'd change about it. Which I can only say about maybe a few dozen movies, and I've seen at least 500 if not more.

Depp and Graham both nail the accents at least from an American's perspective, no keanu reeve Dracula gaffs here, and we actually care about the characters which is refreshing in a who-done-it where the tendency is to let your characters serve as simplistic symbols.

The production design should have won an Oscar, and the scoring likewise was splendid. I couldn't believe the hughes brothers directed this, Dead presidents was at best a tepid experience, Menace to Society better but still basically just an above average genre pic. This on the other hand is a classic, better than anything spike lee or singleton ever even thought about making. Their use of hip hop montage against the backdrop of a history piece was truly genius.

Of all the mystery horror films I've seen from hell is tied with Jaws for number 1 in visual innovation and ranks in the top 5 over all. A definite must see

Halloween II (1981)

Never get's old

[8/10 · 31 October 2015]

it's halloween night 2015 and halloween II is on amc as I writes this review. I decided to check out how many stars it got and I was convinced it was way too low so I actually logged on to come to it's defense.

First off all the complaints are pretty petty, one person called it sexist, well everything made before the mid 90's seems sexist to those who don't study film history. And? a Sexist movie can't be good? Aren't Gone With The Wind, Casablanca and the Quiet Man sexist by today's standards? A few people complained that the hospital it was set in was too dark? Well it's called artistic license move along. Some people stated the victims weren't like-able enough..This is particularly absurd, because held to this standard the original Halloween failed because neither Nancy Loomis or P.J soles who died in that one where exactly Doris Day.

About the only critique I agree with is the whole Jamie Lee Curtis being Michael Meyer's sister angle, however the flashback sequences referring to it are creepy and added to the film, the movie could have just alluded to it using this scene, and left the whole scene out with it being explained to loomis (and the audience) and worked out another way for loomis to wind up at the hospital.

Aside from that I can't find anything lacking about this film. The musical score is improved from the original, whoever says otherwise is tone deaf. Kudos to the guy who pointed out the argento-esque sequences I never really picked up on it until reading your review.

That's about it. Happy Halloween II

Blue Jasmine (2013)

Woody still rocks and Dice still rolls

[9/10 · 28 August 2013]

I waited 4 weeks checking the internet daily for this movie to go wide, and boy was it worth the wait. Woody and the Diceman collaborating? Sold, only this isn't a comedy so don't expect a knee slapper, and it's not a tear jerker so if you ladies are expecting that your sol too. It's a character study, and a well executed one. Cate Blanchette is stellar as is Sally Hawkins. Alec Baldwin is one of the great screen villains of film history. And Both fans and detractors of Andrew Dice Clay prepared to be dumbfounded, the man is an actor, let's see Seinfeld try to pull this off. Woody Allen loves anti-climax, and he sticks to his formula here, which is my one gripe with this wonderful film, but aside from that thumbs up way up, a real gem

21 Jump Street (2012)

7.2 are you kidding me? trash

[3/10 · 18 July 2013]

This movie was not only racist, offensive and unfunny, it was just plain dull. Is someone not knowing that the word amen is the customary conclusion to a prayer funny?....maybe in the central valley, but everywhere else it's just plain sad, that's why this movie tanked. The 1990's fascination with angry blacks and women verbally denigrating navel gazing white males has come and gone. Homosexual innuendo in this film is an understatement, it's more like blatant promotion. I watched shows like 3's company growing up which parodied homophobia, but this is just foul and obvious...the same people who dogged movies like porky's and police academy for glorifying male machismo where obviously behind this dud. There where a few chuckles periodically in spite of the lame story line and bigoted script, but anyone who claims to have found this pig slop funny obviously has an agenda. and shame on anyone who allows their children to watch this nonsense, and most importantly shame on Johnny depp for appearing in this. Was it farce, parody, slap stick? no it was an amateurish attempt to cram as much politically correct narrative into a film as possible while sprinkling enough humor into it, to package it as a comedy...utter trash

The Campaign (2012)

Hollywood's temper tantrum about the tea party

[6/10 · 7 July 2013]

The campaign is essentially a Hollywood temper tantrum about the Tea party. The paper thin veiled attacks against the koch brothers barely get a grin, let alone a chuckle. The sad part is there are lots of laughs in this movie when it allows itself to deviate from it's agenda and focus on two men running for the same office. Will ferell is halarioua as always, and can save just about any script from failure. That much said this movie displays Hollywood/wallstreet biggotry towards fly-over country at it's worst. If Hollywood lampooned jews, blacks, women or latinos, the way they have rural white anglo saxon protestants, there would be riots, law suites and worse. It get's a little gratuitous and begins to look desperate. The writers knew what they where doing, because the scenes that are funny are really funny, but as I've already stated, the agenda of belittling rural conservatism at every possible opportunity, spoils the otherwise light hearted fun movie. The closing scene is vitriolic, unfunny and is the explanation point in a film, made because Hollywood remains irate that tea party conservatism constinues to gain momentum in the U.S House of Representatives.

Valley Girl (1983)

Dreadful silly slop

[2/10 · 6 July 2013]

I remember reading a review by Roger Ebert who liked this movie as well as hearing other people who agreed. I think it was dreadful, I knew it was gonna be a high school romance flick, but unlike the successful hughes films like sixteen candles, pretty in pink and some kind of wonderful, or the raunchier ones like Porky's and fast times at ridgemont high, Valley Girl is boring, unfunny and poorly made. There's nothing original about the story or any of the characters, the production wallows in it's own low budget trappings, and man is the acting bad. What a dud. I've seen porn with more entertaining dialogue, how can this movie have entertained anyone.

Brokeback Mountain (2005)

Well made but with no mainstream appeal despite the hype.

[7/10 · 1 July 2013]

Brokeback mountain is a character study. It has no antagonist or protagonist, unless you consider society and history's established view on homosexuality as evil. The visuals are spectacular, and heath ledger deserves credit, he is a rare talent. The director should have edited the film more sedately. The scenes involving sex are uneven which reeks of agenda. If you want to show vivid graphic homosexual scenes, don't chop the heterosexual scenes before they become vivid and graphic. There are also scenes involving Ledger's gay lover that are completely irrelevant and silly. This movie has no mass appeal it was allowed to run in theaters for over 4 months. The Hollywood establishment was orgasmic, and it was lavished with award after award at the expense of other far more deserving films of the year, including other romance movies like Must Love Dogs, blockbusters with opposing messages such as The Chronicles of Narnia and even The 40 year old virgin which where far more memorable than brokeback mountain. 2005 was a terrible year for movies, especially for dramas. Perhaps it was by design, nothing Hollywood does these days surprises me. The characters aren't likable, but as I said it's a character study and it was well made. That much said it is completely inappropriate for Hollywood to prop it up in an obvious attempt to give it mainstreen appeal, far better movies have been yanked after a month. It has no mainstream appeal. Strictly for the artistically astute.

Caveman (1981)

Comedy ..so easy a caveman can do it.

[8/10 · 1 July 2013]

I liked caveman. I find it hilarious that people who adored early 80's comedies like Airplane gave this film such a hard time. Comedy is brainless, if it's funny it works. Caveman is a comedy, not gone with the wind. Ringo star isn't an actor, but he is convincingly pathetic as a stone aged wimp, and this is do to his screen presence. One of the standards I set for a performance, is whether or not I can visualize another talent playing the role as good or better, then the person cast.I can't picture anyone else as atouk, olivier, nicholson and pacino eat your hearts out. The storyline is typical mel-brooks styled mind mush. The movie has a lot of talent and a lot of laughs. I recommend it highly.

The Toy (1982)

Above Average Comedy

[7/10 · 30 June 2013]

Is the toy Gleason or Pryor's best movie, don't make me laugh. But it shouldn't have been trashed the way it was and still is because a bunch of politically correct pseudo-intelectuals in the media resented the racial undertones. The weakest link in this movie is the script. it could have been so much better. The editing is pretty spotty too. That much said it will make you laugh, and Gleason's performance is sincere, especially during the emotional conclusion. The complaints if the child actor's performance are justified, but mcalaey caulken was awful...he's a kid. what do you expect? I feel as if this movie got a bum rap for political reasons, and that's just a shame because funny is funny and that's the bottem line.

Swamp Thing (1982)

One of Craven's best

[9/10 · 30 June 2013]

Swamp thing is a comic book film with the audacity to flaunt it's low budget and depend on the character elements of the film, well executed action sequences, scenery and a vibrant score which luckily saves a lot of money and provides for and entertaining gem of a film. Louise Jordan is a wonderful villain, his work is on par with his later appearance as a 007 villain in octopussy. Adriene Barbeaux oozes sexuality, without sacrificing toughness which is rare. Something disappeared after the 1980's with regard to women in action thrillers. The toughness seems manufactured as opposed to genuine. The sexual attractiveness remains, but rather than asserting themselves through intelligence, many of the female heroes of todays films seem to display a snobbish sort of entitlement, almost as if a lawyer was waiting to swoop down and file a law suite, if the film's villains dare to detract from their toughness. There is none of that here, she seems smart, tough and sexy which is rare. As for the storyline, it is what it is, not a whole lot of surprises, but that's o.k. It's a comic book, not War and Peace. Swamp Thing is an overlooked and under-rated movie that deserves a look from fans of the genre, and yound people fascinated with comics especially.

The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)

One of the Best comedies of the 90's

[9/10 · 29 June 2013]

It never ceases to amaze me how many people, who fancy themselves critics, meander off into the political and try to use theatrical jargon to disguise what it is they really dislike about a movie. If you go to a movie which is a vehicle for Andrew Dice Clay who in my estimation is one of the greatest comic minds in history, (and he has the records to prove it, being the only comedian to sell out Madison Square Gardens 2 nights consecutively) how can his brand of humor be used as legitimate criticism in a movie which promotes his brand of comedy to the hilt? It's moronic, if you don't like his shtick, you won't like the movie..end of story. Why did you go see it? and why do you write sprawling reviews ...when you could sum it up in a sentence. I hate Dice's humor so naturally I hated this movie. That much said this movie was "The goods" and would have been one of the top 20 box office earners of 1990 had 20th century fox not caved to political pressure and yanked it after only 3 weeks. 12 million opening week? flop me thinks not. The cinemephotography is some of the best work since michael chapman's work in the Lost Boys. The cast are all wonderful in their cartoon roles, With Dice in the lead and Wayne Newton as the villain steeling the show. The movie is hilarious. But to prove that I am not completely biased as a dice fan, there where some minor elelments that bugged me. The editing towards the middle of the movie seemed to get sloppy, especially during the scenens in which biker hit men descend upon the sorority house. And there is a scene in which ford fairlane is being inducted as an honorary member, this is silly and does not jel with his macho stick. Also Morris Dey in a supporting role, gave a dreadful performance, which is sad because he can act, as anyone who has seen Purple Rain knows. Aside from these minor annoyances, the adventures of ford fairlane delivers all it promised, and should have become a franchise film, had 20th century fox maintained more artistic integrity in the face of controversy, not to mention business savvy as it was still making money when they pulled it despite al the undserved negative publicity. One of the best comedies of the 90s.

Near Death (2004)

well named you will be near death after watching

[1/10 · 29 June 2013]

To quote the late Roger Ebert from his review of I spit on your Grave. Near death is "a vile bag of garbage, shameful utterly worthless trash, if it isn't the worst movie I've ever seen, that makes it all the more shameful" After the first idiotic bimbo is murdered, in the first five minutes, her cleavage being the only thing worth seeing, the rest of the movie dies with her. even by the standards of straight to the shelf low budget horror flicks this is the bottom of the barrel. Stupid boring and incoherent. I think the idea was that this movie was making fun of itself, but it doesn't come across that way. The camera work is murky, the audio is muddled, the make up and effects have less creativity than your garden variety kindergarten puppet show. Just awful.

Death Becomes Her (1992)

about as pleasant as diarrhea gas

[2/10 · 29 June 2013]

This movie is supposed to be a dark comedy, but it's not funny so that leaves dark. The production is good, the storyline could have been made funny if the script writers had been up to the task, but they weren't. Streep and Hawn throw one liners out that are literally painful. And what kills me is the same people who attack early 90's comedies like The Adventures of Ford Fairlane and My cousin vinney defended this garbage. Bruce Willis is not believable as a brow beaten wimp, sorry, he's a great actor ..but even Wells and Olivier knew their limitations. Clint Eastwood and Charles Bronson would have turned this role down and I bet Bruce Willis wishes he had. It was most likely a backroom deal to emasculate the Action actor, as we know feminism was all the rage in the Murphy brown era Hollywood lexicon. I guess Willis was smart, he ate crow and made this horrible film and survived. There was a pattern of this going on at about this time in Hollywood of this period. We see a virtual exodus, Willis, Stalone and Schwarzeneggar all moved into comedy to soften up their image, of these Schwarzenegger adjusted the best. While others like Segal and Van Damn found themselves drummed out of Hollywood for their refusal to diversify. or went to TV as chuck Norris did. Some would quip that these men lacked the talent to do comedy. Well this is the only comedy I've seen with Meryl Streep and it was awful, so I guess the martial arts crowd should have taken a shot before running for the hills, because they couldn't have possibly done any worse.. In any event this movie has all the trappings of that unique point in history. all the male characters are demeaned and degraded in an orgy of gender bending after Gloria stienams own heart, while the two aging superstars spit venom at one another, and show off what's left of their aging bodies. Sad stuff.

The Evictors (1979)

Just Awful

[1/10 · 29 June 2013]

This movie is boring, predictable and silly. The only thing remotely entertaining is the bayou land scape and the lead, victim who is nice to look at. Dreadful stupid mess. Vic morrow who I like get's star billing but isn't even in that much of the film, luckily for him. There is one creepy film in the movie, when the lead victim receives a note from the evictors. Aside from that it was a total yawn fest. I remember seeing the film in the early 80's as a young boy, and even though I didn't remember anything about it I remember some creepy-ness, and the scenery, which is about the only thing which held up. I watched it not long ago, what a disappointment. trash.

Fraternity Vacation (1985)

Solid Tasteful Skin Flick

[8/10 · 29 June 2013]

Some trendy movie goers take themselves's way too seriously, who are they trying to impress, parroting establishment criticts? You can disagree with the subject matter of movies like Fraternity Vacation, but to say the movie wasn't well made is pretty idiotic. I remember watching this movie on U.S.A up all night with Gilbert Godfried in the early 90's. I've had a crush on Kathleen Kinmont ever since and still do. I never understood why she never made a bigger mark. Shery J Wilson is stunning and bring's quiet dignity to an otherwise cliché'd character. Tim Robbins Steven Geofrry's and John Vernon deliver the most laughs by far. Liegh Mcloskey and Matt McCoy have memorable moments as the lead character's nemesis while Amanda Bearse is the perfect snob, she obviously drew from this performance when playing darcy of married with children. Cameron Dye is the weak link in the film, primarily because his character isn't really well written at all. The movie is predictable and sexist...but no one goes to a movie entittled Fraternity Vacation to be shocked and enlightened about the finer points of structural feminism, so I reject that sort of criticism, people get off your soap boxes. This movie is 2nd only to porky's of all the 80's sex comedies. Hardbodies was good too, but not as funny as Fraternity Vacation and the producers wisely made better use of Kathleen Kinmont. I recommend this movie to anyone with a sense of humor. If your offended by Bikini clad bimbos and man whores jockeying for sexual dominance , that's a personal problem and the movie isn't bad because it's subject matter doesn't appeal to you, that's tantamount to saying the Excorcist is bad because some people don't like horror flicks.