Autobiographies & Biographies

Title: What Does This Button Do?

Type: autobiography

Honesty:

Rating:

Only just started this one...

The first 30-40 pages aren't particularly interesting. Lemmy's, Ozzy's and Iommi's early periods are far more interesting - or more interestingly told - than Bruce's. The problem with Bruce's writing is that he tries to be too literate, too clever, because he is an author as well - aside from being a vocalist, a pilot and all the rest. His humour is somewhat strained, forced, and he tends to focus on completely irrelevant details - so far at least.

I expect the book will get much more interesting once he joins Samson...

And it does. It's much more interesting from then on. There's still some lesser stuff, such as his fencing, which doesn't interest either me nor 95% of his fans, but there you go, he felt he needed to include it too. Like in Lemmy's book, he felt the need to include some political stuff: some stuff I completely agree with it, some I totally disagree with. The usual.

Once he gets to the Maiden period there are more anecdotes, but I can't help the impression that he stays on each album's period too briefly. There is a vast array of things to say, and while I realize that only a segment of that can fit into a bio, he should have written more, and he definitely should have written more about band-related stuff than his fencing. Every proper autobiography should be at least 500-700 pages. Unfortunately, most are half that.

Still reading...

Title: White Line Fever

Type: autobiography

Honesty: medium-high

Rating: 9/10

I was a bit underwhelmed when I read this about 15 years ago. I expected more humour and intelligence, but perhaps Lemmy wasn't adept at putting things down on paper the way he was in saying them in interviews, in which he was (much) more interesting.

Some years later I bought the book at a sale, so I might re-read it.

One of the few things I recall is that his blood was so polluted by drugs and alcohol that he couldn't receive clean blood from anyone. I'm not a medical expert so I have no idea how true this can be, but I know he meant it.

EDIT:

After having re-read it, very recently, I am surprised that I didn't catch on to how entertaining the book is. There is very little wasted space on irrelevancies, it's all very much to the point. Perhaps I was much dumber 15-20 years ago (which my changing/improving movie taste somewhat supports too), dunno. The fact that Lemmy's use of language is "crude" is an advantage, not a minus. He isn't focused on giving you a better impression of himself intellectually than he really is, he just wants to be blunt, to the point and honest - which is how autobios should be.

Sure, Lemmy isn't the best "writer", and one can tell that a lack of education hampers his "raconteuring" abilities, but he makes it up with numerous interesting and amusing anecdotes/stories, his honesty, directness and the fact that his life covers practically all the eras in rock and metal - which is very important too.

The book doesn't give you the Lemmy from interviews, which is where his wit shines through much more clearly, but it does go into sufficient detail. Not a great amount of detail mind you, because it's barely 300 pages. That's a pity. I would have much preferred a 500-page volume: more details, even more anecdotes.

I don't always agree with him. For example his brief "description" of the Balkans seemed rather ignorant - especially in the light of the fact that he was allegedly such a WW2 buff. (Seems the buffery was more about the Nazi imagery than the actual historic events around WW2 Europe.) There are some real gaffs when he tries to touch on history and politics, such as his claim that "Europe stood by and watched Hitler for 20 years without doing anything", when that simply isn't true: Hitler came to power in 1933, so where he got those 20 years I have no clue. Or "Hitler killed a quarter of the world's population": the hell is that all about? 50 million is a staggering number of dead, but out of several billion Earth inhabitants at the time, that's hardly a quarter. Or that stupid age-old argument: "why are they trying to bust me for drugs, when they should be chasing serial-killers instead". Well, they do BOTH of those things, one does not exclude the other. I've always hated that very childish argument/comparison that "so-so should be spending on feeding kids rather than on weapons": BOTH can and should be done. It's not as if every government has a choice between two things, I mean duh.

Another example when he is outrageously wrong is when he declares Kelly from Girlschool one of the best guitarists in the history of rock! That was borderline embarrassing.

In fact he often mentions feminists (negatively and mockingly, to his credit), but one gets the impression that he is actually quite insulted by the accusations leveled at him by various feminist radicals, so it's as if he was trying to "defend" himself i.e. to over-compensate by telling us how much he helped girl bands such as Girlschool, and how he respects women as musicians. There was no need for that: he should have mocked feminism without having to defend his lifestyle choices.

On the other hand, I totally agreed with his comparison between the Beatles and the Stones. Or his anger over being screwed by "American immigration - while they let millions of illegal immigrants get papers just like that". I am not sure if he realized just how right-wing that statement was/is, but it's right on the money - as most right-wing views are. "Communism and Nazism are religions" was also refreshing to read in a bio: a fact that is lost on 99% of the world's population.

Not to mention his spot-on assessment about the stupidity of the looters during the 1992 L.A. riots. Unlike Bowie, who praised the looters, Lemmy had a far more objective and realistic appraisal of what really transpired. Of course, the big difference between Bowie and Lemmy is that Lemmy is usually honest whereas Bowie is generally rather dishonest and a virtue-signaler like all poseurs. But more on that in the review of his biography.

One of the more surprising revelations is that Phil and Eddie were far crazier than Lemmy. He was literally the "normal one" in the initial line-up, comparatively speaking.

I described the book's honesty as "medium-high". Why not "high"? After all, he has a reputation for being a straight up, honest kind of guy, a reputation that I believe might be accurate. Nevertheless, because I noticed a few details conveniently missing I gave a slightly lower honesty rating. Whether it was deliberate omission or not I 'm not sure.

Examples. When Philthy got fired the 2nd time around in 1993, Lemmy named Phil's lack of motivation and bad drumming (in terms of keeping the pace) as the reasons, yet Philthy insists that the reason he was fired was that he shtooped "Lemmy's missus". Lemmy never addressed this claim in his book, despite being fully aware of it. (Coz if I know abut it then surely Lemmy did too.) Secondly, he stated that Pete Gill got fired because he was constantly running late and kept the band waiting. This may be true, and probably is, but... Hawkwind's Dave had stated that Lemmy was constantly being late on the tour, kept the band waiting, and pissed everybody off with that. Yet Lemmy never addresses this is in the book. It's somewhat hypocritical, right?

This is why I can't rate the book "high" in terms of honesty, because he seems to have omitted certain things that may not reflect too well on him. (Which is perfectly natural, normal: who wouldn't omit some embarrassing or vile stuff about themselves, right?) Also, the 4th and last Motorhead gig I went to (around 1993) he had stopped after only 3-4 songs, as far as I recall without a clear explanation, which puts his professionalism in question. He did bitch about something after 1-2 songs, probably about the sound, but I couldn't understand him, hence I doubt anyone in the crowd understood him either. Admittedly, there is a paragraph later on in the book that might be used as an explanation as to why he cut some concerts short, which could be used as a viable excuse - or not. I do believe though that a hedonist as extreme as Lemmy must have hid far more skeletons than he let on, which is why I am not convinced that he deserves the "high honesty" upgrading.

Title: Peter Sellers: The Mask Behind the Mask

Type: biography

Author: Peter Evans

Rating: 10/10

Evans knew Sellers personally, plus this book had Sellers's approval i.e. it had been planned many years before its release, and it would appear he knew the subject matter fairly well, which probably explains why this bio is such fun.

It also helps that it was written after his death so the accounts could be much more frank.

Many crazy anecdotes of a guy who was a weird combination of eccentricity, naivety, selfishness, generosity, stupidity, pathological superstition and childishness. He comes off more unlikable than likable, but this never impedes the fun of reading all the nonsense that he created.

I'd read it twice, one of the very best books on the list.

Title: David Bowie: A Life

Type: biography

Author: Dylan Jones

Rating: 8/10

A very good bio, and it's good for the exact same reason that Ed Wood's bio is: the entire book consists of quotes/statements/interviews from dozens of people who knew or had met the person.

This is by far the best way to write a biography; instead of writing an adulatory rant about how (allegedly) great and wonderful someone is, it is much better to let those speak who knew the person, good or bad, truthful or lying. They may contradict each other, but that is an advantage not a flaw. The added advantage is that the tone of the book constantly varies, depending on who is "talking". The reader can then decide whose accounts the truth may be closer to.

Not everybody has the same opinion of Bowie, which is great because this way - ironically - the reader has the chance to make a much better picture of him. The book does give you great insight, despite the fact that some people don't remember things well, or are exaggerating, or lying, or withholding information. But when you COMPILE all of their statements - and we're talking very many people here (mostly friends/journalists/musicians/wives/exes) - on a huge pile of thinly printed 550 pages, much of the truth filters out. It's a comprehensive bio, one of the book's main strengths. Coz there's nothing worse than a 200-page bio: that's basically a pamphlet or an extended Wikipedia account.

Having read the book and seen countless interviews, I have a very good sense of this person. So what was he like? Narcissistic, egotistical, vain, extremely fame-obsessed (while still unknown), extremely decadent (drug addiction and orgies included, gay sex to further his career, plus sex with minors too, and I don't mean 16 year-olds), drawn towards perversion and degeneracy, somewhat manipulative, but also very polite, friendly, witty, mostly non-aggressive, professional, very ambitious. In other words, he had his flaws and advantages, like a lot of people.

Politically, he was completely dishonest. Always the virtue-signaler, he'd say whatever the Establishment expected from him, very rarely what was true, he always played it safe (except the time he was so so high on drugs during his pseudo-Nazi phase, which is when he talked rubbish, just non-PC rubbish). Or perhaps he was too thick and/or out of touch with reality to understand what was going on?

For example, it is fascinating to compare Bowie's and Lemmy's takes on the 1992 L.A. riots: Bowie, the typical champagne socialist, praises the looters whereas Lemmy calls them idiots who deserve to go to jail. Because Bowie is PC and Lemmy tends to say it how it is - or at least how he honestly believes things are. Bowie has no problem bullshitting and lying: I've caught him say blatant lies on several occasions - and that's just the stuff where I was able to catch him lie, who knows how often he lied and we don't know about it. Examples? In a 90s or 00s interview he lied that he never found out what Warhol thought of his song which Bowie dedicated to him, despite the fact that Warhol mocked the song in front of everybody present.

As a result, this book is a LOT closer to the truth than Bowie's autobiography would have been like. Another example, in a 1999 interview he said he stemmed from the working-class which is rubbish. He had access to show-biz while still a child, met some well-known musicians, and had a privileged suburban middle-class upbringing. Throughout his career Bowie presented different versions of himself, depending on whom he talked to and in which context. Like an actor, or perhaps even somewhat like a conman. So he wasn't always "genuine" though some people here make excuses for this, claiming that he had "many different sides to him". But from what I understood, he would "play-act" often, assume a "persona" and more-or-less change all the time, according to his whims or aims. Some accounts speak of him switching these personalities on and off like a robot, from one "character" to another i.e. himself. He did most of the faking/posing during his Spiders phase, but he did it to a lesser extent in all of his eras.

Angie Bowie, his 1st wife, comes off the worst from everybody, aside from Lou Reed, who is well-known as a bit of a you-know-what, a very unfriendly and miserable personality. (Not to mention zero talent.) Almost nobody had anything positive to say about her, except that she worked hard and was devoted to Bowie's career. She was the one that introduced orgies into David's life: the woman was a sexual pervert of the highest order, judging at least from all the people who spoke here.

There are numerous anecdotes, some very interesting, such as his awkward and unpleasant meetings with Zappa and McCartney, or his friendships with Lennon and Jagger. Or how he once stormed off the stage in anger, smashing his guitar and stopping the gig entirely, just because one of the musicians dared to tread on the main stage - instead of remaining hidden from the audience as the rest of the band were instructed to. (It was in fact a misunderstanding, the guitarist believing that Bowie waved to him to join him on stage.) He had the diva side to him too, but it seems this wasn't nearly as bad as with most other rock stars.

Politically-correct to a fault, which definitely makes him somewhat annoying and unlikable. Always beware of celebs who take the "safe political route".

Many hipster journalists describe him, so things get cringy at times, especially when they give their 5 cents' worth about his music. But hey, hipsters will be hipsters and they do enjoy embarrassing themselves, they can't not be cringy and foolish. Naturally, a lot of people with REALLY bad taste in music talk here, which may or may not be an issue with some readers.

Title: Sean Connery

Type: biography

Author: John Parker

Rating: 7/10

Read it 15-20 years ago, didn't like it that much. But after having re-read it very recently, I realize it's better than a lot of the bios out there. Straightforward without waxing poetry - though that kind of pretentious twaddle is far more of an affliction for rock bios than Hollywood accounts. I'd have much more preferred an autobiography, obviously, but this works too.

Connery, as many other A-list celebs, does appear in other people's autobiographies, so that's where one can get some interesting additional insight and info.

Another example, Sinatra. I never read a book about him, but he'd been mentioned in so many other bios that I got a chance to find out quite a bit despite not picking up an actual Sinatra book. Ditto Bogart and Gable.

Title: The Ragman's Son

Type: autobiography

Honesty: so-so, probably low

Rating: 8/10

When it comes to honesty, there's the frankness with which one writes about others and the frankness about oneself. Douglas is incomparably more honest about others than himself. Reading this book you'd believe he was a normal, decent guy, but of course that's because he conveniently omitted to mention his notorious temper and his rampant egomania. Not to mention a few other rumours that are really bad...

Still, because he was so honest about others and because he didn't waste too much time on nonsense this is a pretty good read.

Originally, at least that's what he claims, he had written 5,000 pages worth of material.

Title: What's It All About

Type: autobiography

Honesty: medium-high

Rating: 9/10

One of the best Hollywood autobiographies, for several reasons: his career spans very interesting film eras - 60s/70s/80s, he discusses a lot of films I'd seen before or that I know about, and because Caine is fairly down-to-Earth; it isn't just an act. From everything I know about him and from his interviews it is obvious he doesn't have a mean streak in him and doesn't suffer from a huge ego - for an actor, at least. It's all relative, of course: nearly every thespian has ego issues.

His Korean War stories are quite a read, as are his experiences while shooting a war movie with Cliff Robertson in the Philippines. That's just some of the stuff that I remember best, coz I read the book in the late 90s.

Title: The Elephant to Hollywood

Type: autobiography

Honesty: medium-high

Rating: N/A

His 2nd autobiography, published almost 20 years after the first one.

I listened to an audio version several years ago, with Caine "narrating" himself, but haven't finished it yet because I started recognizing too many stories. From what I recall, he repeats a lot of the stuff from the first book, so I had less incentive to continue.

It's almost like an updated version of book 1, it appears. So I wouldn't know which one you should get, but definitely not both.

There is also a recent 3rd book he did, but I have no idea whether that's any good.

Title: Star Trek Memories

Type: autobiography

Honesty: low

Rating: 9/10

Shatner is well-known for being one of the most hated and most obnoxious celebs, in terms of his off-screen behaviour which is borderline psycho. Then there's also the troublesome unclarified mysterious demise of one of his former wives, in his swimming pool. He is also hated/disliked among ALL the Star Trek cast, even Nimoy becoming his "enemy" after decades of tolerating his megalomania.

Nevertheless, despite the fact that Shatner reveals only 1% of his bad behaviour, the book is a great read - simply because I am a fan of TOS, and because it's full of anecdotes and behind-the-scenes politics.

Despite being such a ******* he does also have a good sense of humour.

Title: Star Trek Movie Memories

Type: autobiography

Honesty: low

Rating: 7/10

I liked this one less, simply because the ST movies he did were overall much less fun than the TV series. Several of them are downright trash, including the one he directed.

Title: I Am Spock

Type: autobiography

Honesty: medium

Rating: 4/10

His 2nd autobiography, after "I Am Not Spock", which I haven't read.

Nowhere nearly as interesting or fun as Shatner's books, and that's because Nimoy was too serious, and perhaps took himself and his damn "thespianism" a little too seriously. Dry, lacking in humour, not recommended except for hopeless Trekkies who need to read everything about the cast.

Title: The Moon's A Balloon

Type: autobiography

Honesty: medium

Rating: 7/10

The first of two autobiographies by famous "raconteur" and actor-socialite Niven. He wrote these himself, no ghost writers.

I can't tell the books apart because I'd read them a while ago, but both were quite uneven. Some chapters are very interesting while others were so dull I had to skip one or two.

It all depends on the subject matter: his early adolescence and army years is very fun stuff, especially since he was (surprisingly) a delinquent, as are the chapters focused on specific actors (Bogart for example), while some of the topics are lame and average.

Being born in the early 20th century, we get here many interesting eras, including the 20s which doesn't often feature in bios. Being a British soldier during the 20s, he was able to relay some very interesting stories, some of them related to his long stay in Malta.

Niven comes across as a friendly person, which he anyway seems too have been by all other accounts, but this "niceness" and impeccable English politeness prevented him from being more honest - hence brutal - about other actors. Which is why, unfortunately, his books don't offer much juicy gossip, the really filthy stuff... And Hollywood was and still is, after all, primarily a place of decadence and filth.

Title: Bring On the Empty Horses

Type: autobiography

Honesty: medium

Rating: 7/10

Read the entry above.

Title: My Wicked Wicked Ways

Type: autobiography

Honesty: ??? (possibly quite low)

Rating: 9/10

Rumours had it that Flynn was one of the most notorious pathological liars in Hollywood, and that many of the fanciful recollections of his youth are completely fabricated. This belief existed before he released his book, which was just a year or two before his demise.

Admittedly, the pre-Hollywood section, which takes up a large bulk of the book, plays out like an adventure series. Hence it is a distinct possibility that he made up most of those things i.e. his many adventures across Australia and Asia.

However, I didn't know about this while I was reading it, so I wasn't second-guessing much of it. In fact, this book - whether it be autobiographical or a piece of fiction - is highly entertaining. Just pretend it's all for real and it's a proper romp. Or dismiss it as rubbish and ignore it. Up to you...

He openly reveals his strong communist leanings, which might in fact serve as the strongest proof that he indeed was a pathological liar. Only psychos and fools go for that ideology...

He talked about being room-mates with David Niven, but just like Niven in his two books Errol fails to mention that the reason they fell apart was that Flynn made a pass at him. Flynn was a bisexual, by all accounts... which he never addresses in the book.

Nor does he mention the anecdote when during a big party at his Hollywood estate he took out his genitals and placed them on a plate, to prank the guests with. I read that in another bio on this list, just not sure which one... But it's a safe bet it wasn't in Niven's book.

Title:

Type: biography

Author:

Rating: 7/10

Born in 1900, we get some good insight into the very early era of film-making and Tinseltown.

Despite reading it only a few years ago, I can't recall that much. Definitely worth a read, despite dealing with an actor I don't like that much.

I recall some stuff about his disabled daughter (deafness, I believe i.e. the same affliction as hipsters), his persistent alcoholism, his membership in Hollywood's "Irish gang", but I don't remember that there was that much about Katherine Hepburn, which is just as well because I dislike her both as a person and as an actress. Unlike her, Tracy made it into films from humble beginnings, whereas she is a typical elitist brat who stemmed from wealthy, industrialist, influential and powerful clans... Tinseltown loves those.

No mention (?) either of her lesbianism, so don't expect a super-honest account. Pity, because it's a mystery to me why they lived together for so many years (or hid their "affair"?) when she preferred women, or perhaps was entirely lesbian. This book should have tried to clarify that.

Title: Dear Me

Type: autobiography

Honesty: medium

Rating: 7/10

The first half, which is about his numerous ancestors and his large family tree, is very interesting, as are the descriptions of his pre-Hollywood era.

Strangely enough, he fails to engage the reader in the stories of the many movies he'd made, and he fails to generate much interest in his co-stars and the directors he worked with, which automatically implies that he may have been hiding a lot of the "dirt" about the other cast hence not being honest enough... If you're going to protect your friends and colleagues this much then you may as well not even bother writing about them, or at least limit the book to only the non-movie stuff.

Perhaps I'm exaggerating, maybe there are some "dirty" details about his fellow thespians and I may have forgotten them, but I recall being a little bored in that 2nd half. I read it over a decade ago so I can't give you any fresh impressions.

What's the point of writing about Hollywood without including a lot of the juicy details about the buffoons and lunatics who work there. Nobody gives a damn about "the craft" or "the method", we want the filth!

Title: Norma Jean: The Story Of Marilyn Monroe Type: biography

Author: Fred Lawrence Guiles

Rating: 8/10

This book had been hanging around for decades until I finally picked up to read it.

A fairly good bio that gives you good insight into what she was really like i.e. extremely confused, fame-obsessed, attention-seeking, quite crazy, very promiscuous (like the rest of them), insecure, self-centered, sometimes hysterical and diva-like, but also funny, sometimes pleasant and charismatic. She wasn't all bad by any means.

Her agent was the much-hated Harry Cohn, notorious for shtooping EVERY ACTRESS (or at least trying to), so it's a fair bet that she did the nasty with him too - which gives you an idea how desperate for glory she must have been.

The book only confirmed my opinion that she wasn't murdered. Whoever claims that she was has absolutely no clue about her. She'd already attempted suicide several times in the years prior, plus she'd been abusing pills and alcohol for years, which never ends well...

Her childhood was a total mess, plenty of chaos there, changing foster homes on a regular basis. There's also the mystery of the identity of her father, which is tackled. 3-4 members of her family on her mother's side had stints in the loony bin, schizophrenia being the main culprit. It is abundantly clear that she had serious mental issues which became much worse as she approached her demise, and which neatly explain her notorious inability (or unwillingness?) to remember her lines.

It is also clear that the Strasbergs had an overall negative influence on her, despite them acting as her "protectors". They were enablers rather than caretakers of this troubled nutcase. Especially Paula Strasberg comes off mostly negatively, and not just in this bio... She comes off even worse in Tony Curtis's book.

Title: My Word Is My Bond Type: autobiography

Honesty: medium

Rating: 8/10

I read this several years ago, and while I can't recall that much, I know it was a fun read.

Son of a cop, planed to start an artistic career - and I mean a REAL artistic career - by drawing cartoons, or drawing FOR cartoons, or st of that nature, which was very surprising to read.

Predictably, not much (or any) filth here, so he had nothing bad to say about anybody, except for Jean-Claude van Damme, whom he more-or-less singles out as the most detestable actor he ever had to work with. No details though.

In the David Bowie bio (listed here) someone states that Moore regularly visited Bowie at his Switzerland estate where he allegedly bored the singer with his many Bond stories. Apparently, Bowie felt the need to rat on his friend to his acquaintances, hence how this story went out.

Title: Born Standing Up

Type: autobiography

Honesty: medium

Rating: 5/10

The big problem with this one is that he only discusses his upbringing and the stand-up era. There is nothing about the movies and (practically) nothing about Hollywood.

Steve seems to have grown way too self-important over the years, takes himself a little too seriously. He isn't necessarily pretentious and I wouldn't describe him as arrogant, but for a comedian he does seem to try to intellectualize certain things too much. Given what he is like, which I knew before reading this, I wasn't too surprised that the book turned out to be so dry, relatively speaking. There's some interesting stuff, but for an autobiography of a well-known successful actor this book is definitely sub-par.

Title: Nightmare of Ecstasy: Ed Wood Type: biography

Author: Rudolph Grey

Rating: 10/10

I have a German copy of this, and it's totally worn out coz I'd carried it around so many times. Just as I'd watched "Plan 9" numerous times.

So why is it so great?

Firstly, because the entire book consists only of quotes from numerous interviews of people who knew him (just like Bowie's book on this list) - instead of the usual BS analysis from some journalist who didn't even know the person, or only barely. These people all knew him i.e. almost no BS from critics or whomever.

Secondly, because his life was much more unique and crazy than that of most celebs, and that is saying a lot.

Not a dull moment on these pages, highly recommended. Especially for fans of his films, goes without saying...

Title: Lonely Boy

Type: autobiography

Honesty: high

Rating: 9/10

Finished reading this a few weeks ago (early 2023).

As I'd expected, this is a no-holds-barred account, with the only self-censorship being in form of Steve occasionally refusing to name some names, either for fear of being sued or because he wants to avoid feuds and arguments with some people, as he explains. Pity, because some of these mystery people just beg to be revealed.

How honest is he?

Well, let's just say he admits to having had oral sex with men, on a few occasions, which is something I definitely didn't expect from this bio.

He also goes at length about his poverty, turbulent childhood, and especially about his very lengthy heroin addiction. He saw first-hand what heroin did to Sid, yet he started doing it too, AFTERWARD. So no, Steve isn't the brightest cookie on the planet, but then he'd be the first one to admit to this.

His descriptions of the other band members are to the point, very frank, hence interesting. He has both positive and negative things to say about Sid, Lydon, McLaren and Matlock, only positive about his "mate" Cook.

Also exposed is his pathological thievery. He stole from many people, including Pamela des Barres (on this list), Keith Richards, and Bowie. He was a bonafide small-time thief, and it's a wonder he never got a lengthy prison sentence. He was literally a criminal-in-the-making, with the Pistols only derailing him somewhat from that path, and briefly.

His music taste is weak, to say the least. He comments negatively on thrash metal, on The Exploited, on GBH and The Police, yet gave compliments to crap such as Velvet Underground, The New York Dolls, and some other rubbish bands from the 70s.

Title: A Heavy Metal Memoir Type: autobiography

Honesty: medium-high

Rating: 9/10

I listened to an audio-book version, very unfortunately narrated/read by some corny Mustaine impersonator. At first I was very reluctant to listen to it because the voice annoyed me so much, but eventually I got used to it (more-or-less) and I believe I heard the entire thing. Not sure... I may have omitted the last few chapters.

This was years ago so I can't comment much. Mustaine is open and outspoken, as was to be expected, and gives his version of the 80s, which has to be taken with a grain of salt, given that his accounts don't always match with those of various Metallica members (not counting Lars, whom nobody trusts at all anyway), and the fact that he was so often out of it on drugs and drunk that his recollections have to be questioned, by default.

Besides, there's the huge ego issue, which prevents Dave from being entirely honest (with himself and others) on occasion.

Title: Leno

Type: autobiography

Honesty: ?

Rating: N/A

I read this in the 90s when someone borrowed it to me, so there is literally nothing I can recall. Except that it was a solid read, nothing spectacular.

Most of what I know about Jay now is what I read from "The War For Late Night", half of which I'd read very recently, but a book which I had to abandon because its author Bill Carter is such a liberal try-hard, who can't help himself from injecting biased political commentary whenever he can, despite the fact that American politics has zero to do with the Late Night wars and feuds. He writes for the New York Times, so it's really no wonder... The book was gifted to me, I would never have paid a dinari for it.

Title: American Prince

Type: autobiography

Honesty: medium-high

Rating: 10/10

I completed this one quite recently, and I knew it would be a great read before starting it.

Bernie's career covers practically all the most interesting film eras, predominantly the 50s and 60s, plus to a much lesser extent the 70s and 80s. He was mostly inactive film-wise during the 90s.

Very honest in terms of his numerous sexual exploits, though not in graphic detail. One could argue that this wasn't so much honesty as it was boasting, and one might be correct, because Schwarz was very eager to mention each actress he had an affair with, and by affair I mostly mean one-offs. I mean, these Hollywood actors and actresses are like animals in a zoo with the cages all open, it's a total free-for-all, like an endless orgy that often doesn't even involve courtship, but almost immediate sex, right there and then, literally like chimps. Obviously, he doesn't mention every woman he was with, because there were numerous starlets and non-show-biz women he had as well that weren't relevant enough to include.

For example, Natalie Wood, whom he had sex with spontaneously, without even exchanging a word. He also had a strange semi-friendship with Monroe, over a decade before they did "Some Like It Hot", when they were both unknowns, just starting out.

Of the 6 marriages he had he talks in relative detail about 5 of them, completely omitting his 4th or 5th wife. Probably for legal reasons.

Then again, he has another autobiography, in which he may have discussed certain things not mentioned in this one.

There are some very amusing anecdotes, for example the one about how he pranked Yul Brynner, who couldn't stand Curtis. There is also a longer description of Sinatra, who comes off as an egomaniac with a "positive" side to him, though I prefer to define him as just an egomaniac - with life-long contacts to the mob. Curtis does mention powerful mobster Sam Giancana and Frank's business dealings with him. And how a young and very naive Shirley MacLaine once pointed a toy pistol at Sam - then had a real gun pointed back at her. No wonder Shirley's a liberal... Who would point a gun at a mobster, as a joke?

Curtis's formative years are very interesting too. Born in poverty and depressing family conditions, he actually was thrilled to join the Navy in 1942, just so he could escape from home. At the age of 16 or 17. That tells you how much he hated his civilian life.

There's also a decade-long cocaine addiction he discusses at length. He fails to mention, however, that he sniffed coke with his daughter Janet, according to her. Apparently, the two didn't get along that well.

Curtis writes simply, unpretentiously, and gets down to business without unnecessary BS.

Title: No Irish No Blacks No Dogs

Type: autobiography

Honesty: medium high

Rating: 9/10

I am a real idiot for giving this book away. Because I'd love to re-read it. It's a very interesting take on the 70s, obviously with no punches pulled - as expected. I'd read it in the 90s so I can't say more than that, except that in Steve Jones's book, which I'd recently finished, he claims that Lydon falsely described an episode in which he, Steve, allegedly did the nasty in Glen's sandwich. The notorious Sandwich Incident.

Lydon had spent quite a while in a coma as a youngster, then another year bed-ridden, if I recall well. Unlike Bowie who flat-out lied about his "working-class roots", Lydon really was lower-class, hence made it against the odds, just like the rest of the band.

Title: Anger Is An Energy

Type: autobiography

Honesty:

Rating:

Not yet.

I didn't stick it on the bottom of the list because I didn't want any multiple books separated.

Title: Iron Man

Type: autobiography

Honesty: high

Rating: 9/10

A fun read, very few boring bits, and many anecdotes, some of which had me laughing out loud.

Ozzy comes off as a complete and utter moron in this book, which doesn't surprise too much. I'm not sure Iommi intended it that way, but reading these accounts one gets the feeling that the entire band was/is made up of clowns and fools - but Ozzy in particular.

Title: Open: An Autobiography

Type: autobiography

Honesty: high

Rating: 7/10

He admitted to wearing a wig during the early 90s, and using meth in the mid 90s, so I guess this is a pretty frank account for a tennis star, especially when one reads the rather non-revealing autobiographies of other tennis players.

Talks a lot about his hatred for tennis, being forced to practice since he could walk, basically.

Doesn't talk about how and why he did or didn't have an affair with Barbra Streisand, which is just as well, since I have and had zero interest in reading how Agassi gushes all over her, which he I believe does briefly. Nor does he attempt to explain why he is attracted to women such as Graf and Streisand, with their huge...

Title: Unstoppable: My Life So Far

Type: autobiography

Honesty: medium

Rating: 7/10

I don't recall much, despite having read it several years ago.

She discussed her rapid growth spurt, about how she tried to "force-grow" by doing some weird exercise. Not sure if she claims that this helped, but if she did she must be bonkers. She was actually short for a while there, shorter than her peers, then suddenly shot up and became one of the tallest ever slam champs.

The book came out about a year and a half after her doping ban, but I can't recall whether she discusses it.

She came from Russia - Siberia to be precise - to Florida (talk about culture shock) when she was around 9, 10 or thereabouts, and discusses how tough it was to fund her junior years. This of course stands out from most junior tennis careers, because most current tennis pros are kids of millionaires, billionaires and former pros. Nowadays you are unlikely to get sponsored and that's why tennis is becoming so uber-elitist - hence non-competitive, at least on the men's side.

Title: Winning Ugly

Type: autobiography

Honesty: medium

Rating: 7/10

Title: Rafa: My Story

Type: autobiography/biography

Honesty: medium

Rating: 6/10

Title: You Cannot Be Serious

Type: autobiography

Honesty: medium-high

Rating: 8/10

A relatively honest account, despite Mac being a bleedin'-heart liberal. (He recently picketed a tennis match at AO in protest of Margaret Court's anti-gay-marriage stance, "fighting" to have the Center Court renamed to something else, despite her name being ideal for a tennis court name...)

One doesn't get the impression of great intelligence, but of a sly character who for a while did very well.

He married Tatum and perhaps even did some cocaine in the mid-80s (I'm not sure anymore, don't take my word for it), so he definitely isn't too smart, but smart enough to have managed his post-retirement career fairly well. Certainly much better than Becker, Sanchez or Borg did.

I was most interested in his early pro years, the descriptions of some key matches and some obscure matches as well.

Title: What Falls Away

Type: autobiography

Honesty: ?

Rating: 5/10

I read this back in the 90s so there's nothing I can recall. It wasn't particularly interesting.

I can't even recall whether this came out before or after her split with Woody Allen and all the child-molestation stories. I believe it was written after.

Title: A Biography

Type: biography

Author: Robert Sellers

Rating: 7/10 ?

Title: Imperfect Hero

Type: biography

Author: Garry Jenkins

Rating: 7/10 ?

Title: I'm With the Band Type: autobiography

Honesty: high

Rating: 10/10

What a fun read!

For the uninitiated, Miss Pamela was part of the First Wave of American groupies, having "dated" and dated guys from Led Zeppelin, The Doors, The Who and many other bands. Specifically, she had longer affairs with and describes in more detail people such as Jimmy Page, Jim Morrison, Keith Moon, and Don Johnson. She also was a member of GTO, a joke-band "girl group" created and run by Frank Zappa. I'd never heard of them before reading this.

Really, not a dull moment. The entire book is 100% entertainment, whether it be her childhood, adolescence, or her groupie years. Whether describing her teeny-bopping Beatlemania or her various sexcapades, this is a brilliant, unpretentious read. And very honest: she doesn't pull too many punches, isn't too shy. Besides, several of her lovers were dead by this point (1987) so she must have felt more free to discuss them openly.

Aside from all the awesome gossip and the many amusing anecdotes, she also inadvertently describes a very interesting era in rock music. As a bonus, she comes across as quite likable and down-to-Earth. (Then again, she'd have to be grounded, considering she was kind of just a step away from being a prostitute in her late teens and 20s...)

Years later she released an updated version of this book, which is unfortunately not the one I have, and she has one or two more tell-all memoirs of this kind. I'd love to get my hands on them...

Title: Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman

Type: autobiography

Honesty:

Rating: 8/10

Read it ages ago. A fun, unpretentious, amusing bio by one of the most prominent scientists of his era.

Title: Bad As I Wanna Be

Type: autobiography

Honesty: medium

Rating: 5/10 ?

I would have never bought this now, I probably wouldn't even read it, but back in the 90s I actually had interest in this.

Title: Sexual Cowboy

Type: biography

Author: Douglas Thompson

Rating: 7/10

If I'm not mistaken this is based on several interviews that Thompson had conducted with Eastwood. This is fortunate, because that means there are quite a few direct quotes.

The most notable episode that I recall is his lucky survival while being flown in a small plane, hiding in a small luggage compartment - or something of that nature. True or not, a small movie could be made about this...

Title: Testimony: The Memoirs of Dmitri Shostakovich

Type: autobiography

Honesty: ?

Rating: 9/10

I read this many years ago. He discusses life under Stalin in detail. Very good book.

Title: Private Parts

Type: autobiography

Honesty: high

Rating: 10/10

I don't know how I'd rate this now, almost 30 years after the 1st few times (I read most of it several times), so this rating is based on how I liked it in the 90s. The book had me laughing out loud on several occasions.

What you need to know is that the Stern of the 90s and the present Establishment bot Stern are two entirely different people, as nuts as that sounds. One of extremely few celebs to go from un-PC to totally PC, from essentially right-wing to totally left-wing. (Vast amounts of cash exchanged hands, and that lead to his demise.) His first two bios are from the period when he was unafraid to say whatever he wanted. If he'd written autobiographies now, they'd be utter garbage.

Title: Miss America

Type: autobiography

Honesty: high

Rating: 9/10

Not as good as the first one, but I recall greatly enjoying his roasting of Michael Jackson, whom he dedicated an entire chapter.

If you are utterly bored with Stern as he's been in the last 15 years or so, understand that he used to be completely different - and very funny - back when he was still independent rather than a slave to the liberal Establishment.

Title: The Evolution of a Cro-Magnon

Type: autobiography

Honesty: who the hell knows

Rating: N/A

Obviously, I don't have an actual copy (where would I get it from?), I listened to the audio version (spoken by Joseph himself), but not all of it. In fact, I'm not sure how far I got to, probably the first quarter at the most. I'm not sure why I keep postponing the listening of this, as it must be at least somewhat fun, but it's still on the waiting list, after many years.

It would be quite interesting to compare this version of reality to Harley's, because he also has an autobiography, and there's no question that the two accounts share very few similarities.

Better even than these two having autobiographies would be if someone (highly competent) made a lengthy documentary series on Cro-Mags, an attempt to find the truth, which must lie somewhere between these two versions of truth.

Whom do I trust more? Or rather, whom do I trust even less? It's hard to say... Perhaps Harley is the shadier character, but perhaps not by much.

Title: The Disaster Artist

Type: autobiography

Honesty: high

Rating: 9/10

This is essentially not so much an autobiography but a biography of Tommy Wiseau, "legendary" crap "auteur" of "The Room".

I have this on audio, with Sestero himself narrating/reading, but I believe I only got up to around half of it, or something like that. What I have read so far was very entertaining, interesting, proving that Wiseau is even more eccentric that he appears to be.

Title: La Moreau: A Biography of Jeanne Moreau

Type: biography

Author: Marianne Gray

Rating:

Got it as a gift. Currently reading...

A very different bio for me this time, because it not only briefly covers occupied Paris, which I don't know much about, but the French film scene too, with which I am also not very well acquainted at all, especially not the early era, the 50s about which I know next to nothing.

When she was 9 or 10, she got a baby sister, whom Moreau planned to murder soon thereafter, out of jealousy... Probably one of the weirder details I'll be getting from this bio.

It was written by a huge fan and admirer, and who personally knew the actress, so all things considering so far it hasn't been unbearably biased i.e. sycophantic. So far an OK read.

Title: My Left With Deth Type: autobiography

Honesty: medium high

Rating: 7/10

I read about half of it from a PDF file. I would have completed it long time ago if I had an actual copy.

Dave never stops reminding us what a "reformed Christian" he is, which didn't annoy me that much, but in hindsight seems quite laughable considering the scandal he was involved in fairly recently, involving minors.

The most interesting bits are anything related to him meeting Mustaine plus all the drug-fueled nonsense that went on in the 80s when the entire band were on heroin.

Title: I Am Ozzy

Type: autobiography

Honesty: very low / very high

Rating: N/A

I stopped reading it half-way because I was so disgusted with the various incidents in which he killed or tortured animals. Trust me, the dove and the bat incident are nothing compared to the stuff we don't know about, or that we do, if we read this trashy "autobiography".

In that sense he is very honest: when it comes to describing the various nefarious things he did to defenseless creatures he has no problems in relating them, which KINDA suggest sociopathic tendencies, or at least a strong cowardly sadistic streak.

In the sense of coming clean about the various A-hole stunts he pulled against a number of ex-Ozzy musicians, he is definitely dishonest. Perhaps not as much as Sharon - whose autobiography would probably be a work of pure fiction - but enough to not make me want to continue reading.

The early childhood stuff is fairly interesting.

Maybe I will finish this trash one day, maybe not...

Title: I Only Know Who I Am When I Am Somebody Else

Type: autobiography

Honesty: medium-high

Rating: 7/10

I got to about two-thirds.

Gotta say I found his adolescence and early years more interesting than the acting stuff. Maybe that's why I (temporarily) abandoned the book. I'm not saying he is not honest enough about others, but I prefer filth over adulatory compliments being handed out to his colleagues. Methinks he revered and respected them a tad too much.

I actually came across Aiello in Manhattan in the late 90s, while visiting NYC. Richard Gere too, around the same time. (Aiello, quite tall; Gere, very short.)

Aiello is one of the rare lower-class actors who made it in Hollywood, from a rather poor background, and his late breakthrough was a series of lucky coincidences. He was a genuine tough guy from the Bronx (or Brooklyn, can't remember) so there are some parallels with Tony Curtis.

Title: Still Dancing

Type: autobiography

Honesty: medium

Rating: 5/10

I gave up halfway through. Not a bad or necessarily boring book, but too average considering the subject matter i.e. show-biz. As a famous agent he should have had a plethora of saucy anecdotes to divulge, but he chose not to.

Or did he? Perhaps all the best bits are in that 2nd half that I haven't read yet... His own growing up didn't interest me much, to be frank: after all, he was just an agent and he didn't write in a very interesting way.