jim-j-moore Reviews

Severe Clear (2009)

Mostly unwatchable

[3/10 · 21 September 2021]

The main problem with this movie is not the protagonist or the subject matter.

It's the shaky, out of focus "handycam" footage shot on a potato camera that is, frankly, way worse than numerous YouTube bodycam uploads. I'm not expecting someone to be standing up in a firefight with a camera on a tripod but this is just unwatchable. And when the camera does stop swinging around wildly, you get a mixture of sky, earth, thigh, ear, and all in low res. Oh and the odd bit of stock news footage.

You would be be off with the audiobook version! :) lol.

Star Trek: Horizon (2016)

Flawed but impressive fan flick

[6/10 · 4 March 2016]

It's hard to decide what rating to assign to this Kickstarter-funded Star Trek fan film. The fact that it's been done on an absolute shoe-string budget by commercial Hollywood standards plus that the crew and cast are amateurs means that one is inclined to be generous with the critique.

However, a movie deserves an honest review no matter who made it and I wouldn't want to be generous to the point of patronising.

Given the humble resources from which it was created, this is really quite a good film. Okay yes, the acting is a little awkward and the dialogue a bit stilted. But lest we forget, some of the original Star Trek cast were a bit hammy (I'm looking at you, Shatner). It also has a tiny cast, so you don't really get the sense of Starfleet...more a sort of Starsquad. Overall, though, it's a huge leap forward from earlier fan film efforts.

Unsurprisingly, the film relies heavily on CGI just like its commercial cousins. What is surprising is that it's mostly quite well done, especially the spacecraft. Mostly.

By far, by a veritable country mile, the worst thing about this movie is that it's absolutely saturated with lens flares and an almost constant soft-focus haze - perhaps to help disguise the imperfections in the background CGI or scenery? From what I could tell in the few scenes where the blur and lens flares weren't dialled up to eleven, it still looked okay so I really think it was a mistake to go so overboard with the visual distortions.

This is especially unfortunate because this movie almost...almost...had me suspending belief and becoming immersed but the god-awful continued glare and flare visual overlays just kept breaking the mood.

Final verdict? A flawed but nonetheless very impressive fan film. I doff my hat to Tommy Kraft, his cast and crew.

Elephant White (2011)

Turkey dinner served up by two actors who should have known better

[2/10 · 7 February 2015]

I hadn't heard of this movie but the short synopsis and the inclusion of two respected actors, Kevin Bacon and Djimon Hounsou, persuaded me to watch it.

Oh wow, it was embarrassingly bad.

The acting was a 'B' movie standard throughout by the predominantly Thai cast, with Bacon and Hounsou struggling to raise the bar. The storyline was clumsily sequenced, not helped by dubious editing, staggering from scene to scene with absolutely zero character development whatsoever.

The film was so poor that my girlfriend ended up playing Candy Crush while I contemplated the bowel movement that I was going to enjoy after the closing credits rolled.

Man of Steel (2013)

Forget the popcorn, bring some Dramamine

[5/10 · 6 July 2013]

Let's face it - nobody watches a superhero movie for the quality of the acting, so some slightly wooden performances can be forgiven if the rest of the movie compensates for that in other ways.

This film spends a bit more time on the origins of Superman with the initial scenes on Krypton and some of Clark Kent's upbringing in the form of "flash-back" memories.

There's actually quite a bit more that could have been done there, especially with regard to piecing together the movements of a mysterious, nomadic individual as Kent roams the country as an itinerant young adult, drifting from job to job. This, combined with the discovery of alien technology under the ice, could have made for an "X-Files" type of movie. However, the risk is that this would bore many fans, so we get into the action pretty swiftly.

The Director's urge to "get on with the action" does mean that the plot feels a bit rushed. We trot through the sub-plot of an alien superman living amongst us, without really focusing on how the world would really react, so that we can get to the main theme of the movie, which is General Zod vs Superman with humanity enduring all the collateral damage.

Personally, I found the almost Gothic design of the Kryptonian armour and vessels to be rather reminiscent of the "Necromongers" from "The Chronicles of Riddick". This is not a problem, however, and is a nice change from the "ice crystal" Superman technology of old.

All that said, there is one huge problem with the movie in particular: the cinematography.

The cinematic cliché of using a hand-held "shaky-cam" technique, together with fast pan & zoom and quick cut editing in action sequences has been done to death. Not only that but when it's overused, it turns the movie into a blurred, nausea-inducing mess.

And that's the problem here. Almost incessant queasy-cam techniques, fast two-stage zooms, rapid pan...all with the CGI "light bloom" dial cranked over to 11. I quite literally had a dull headache by the end of the movie.

We saw this in the cinema and we were unanimous in our opinion that the queasy-cam and pan-blur made the film almost unwatchable. Perhaps it was made worse by the projection (as projections on screens tend to exacerbate pan-blur) and a good Blu-Ray print would be better? Anyway, the overall premise is good and it's definitely one of the better Superman movies. However, the occasionally mediocre acting and, in particular, the disorientating overuse of queasy-cam ruined the movie for us.

Super Cyclone (2012 Video)

A quattro formaggi of a film

[1/10 · 28 May 2013]

I only stumbled across this movie while channel hopping with a coffee. This is a terrible film, even if it was a "made for TV" special.

The acting is simply awful. It's like watching a bunch of Star Trek fans who have filmed their own episode! Every line is delivered with exaggerated breathless earnestness. It becomes painfully obvious that you're watching a low budget production.

The cheesy script and cheesy acting is, at least matched by the cheesy CGI. Digital rain overlaid onto the scene of a bone dry van driving down a bone dry road. Very fake looking clouds, lightning and so on.

If this film was a pizza, it'd be a quattro formaggi.

On the plus side, if you're in the right frame of mind, it's so bad that it's almost laughably enjoyable! :)

Inside Man (2006)

An intelligent and charismatic "heist" movie

[7/10 · 19 September 2010]

Spike Lee directs this film superbly. The pace, cinematography and acting are all of a very high standard. I particularly enjoyed how the film unfolded and that we're never really sure whose side to be on.

Denzel Washington's cop under a cloud is the obvious choice at first but its hard to resist the compelling anti-hero in Clive Owen, who at last has a role he can sink his teeth into (he sucked in "King Arthur" but then so did the film).

Once underway, we're introduced to Jodie Foster's well-connected "bitch-manipulator" and Christopher Plummer's "fat-cat" characters who add extra spice into the mix. The script is generally excellent and the story resolves well, treating our heroes and anti-heroes appropriately.

Overall, a thoroughly engaging and enjoyable film!

Crash (I) (2004)

A study on the prejudices of a parochial world view

[8/10 · 19 September 2010]

A great number of people seem to focus on the racial elements of this movie, which is unsurprising because its so overt. However, there is a deeper element to this film which I found to be quite insightful.

Simply put, all people see the world through their own eyes and every single one of us instinctively feels that our view is the correct - or at least justified - view. What this film shows is how those parochially held world views, and the prejudices they create, eventually collide with reality.

It's a good film and there's more to it than a superficial portrayal of racial bigotry. One just needs to dig a little deeper...

16 Blocks (2006)

Not bad but could have been so much better

[5/10 · 19 September 2010]

Bruce Willis does a good job portraying a jaded, washed up and alcoholic detective in the twilight of his career. The fundamentals of the plot are sound - what should be the mundane task of escorting a witness to court becomes a fight-and-flight battle for survival.

Unfortunately, the plot doesn't develop in any particularly thrilling manner and there are few surprises along the way. That said, it's perfectly watchable and sufficiently entertaining to prevent one reaching for the "stop" button...

...with one possible exception. Mos Def (Dante Terrell Smith)

For reasons I cannot begin to fathom, Mr. Def decides to play his character's voice with a really grating, nasal twang. It sounds like his character has a severe cleft-palate. I found myself almost rooting for the bad guys, hoping a well-aimed round would silence him once and for all!

Outlaw (2007)

Stressful, frustrating yet compelling

[5/10 · 19 September 2010]

Right from the start, this movie goes straight for the underbelly of society. I found it gave me a knot of stress in the stomach from the get-go, not least of all because the street "yoof" scum-bags it portrays are sadly all to real.

I was looking forward to our protagonists, led by Sean Bean, taking up arms and dishing out some righteous punishment, even if only as a catharsis for the tension and antipathy produced by the aforementioned street slime.

And here was the source of my frustration. As a vigilante group, these guys are a complete bunch of muppets! Their clumsy, inept approach to dealing with their "targets" is probably very realistic, as pretty much any regular Joe Public would be equally clueless, conflicted and feeble. But hell, I wanted to see some arse-kicking going on! :)

For all this, it was strangely compelling viewing but at the end of it, I definitely did not feel comfortably satisfied. Worth watching, certainly, but its not light entertainment by any means.

The House of the Devil (2009)

An hour of tedium and 20 mins of "Kensington Gore"

[1/10 · 21 July 2010]

I realise that the covers of a DVD or blu-ray are only going to feature positive tag lines from favourable reviews but in this case, the quoted reviews were from reputable sources, so I thought this would be a good movie.

I was wrong. Incredibly wrong. So wrong that even the fabled Iraqi Information Minister would have been embarrassed. This is an agonisingly slow movie. I've seen positive reviews from self-proclaimed "connoisseurs" of 80's horror and can only conclude that they are delusional. It's the cinematic equivalent of someone claiming to be a wine connoisseur but subsequently rates "Blue Nun" as a good bottle of plonk! What movie were they watching? It sure wasn't this one! Yes, there are nods to well known 80's horror clichés (and plot holes galore) but the oft-reported build up of dread and suspense is nowhere to be found. Plenty of boredom however. Nothing happens for the first hour, save the supporting actress getting her head blown off and, frankly, by the time that happened I almost envied her.

My advice would be to avoid this film, or at least skip to 1 hr 10 minutes in and watch from there. Utter pants!

Black Eagle (1988)

Literally so bad, it's good!

[5/10 · 29 June 2010]

It's imperative that you approach this film in a mood to be amused by a movie so bad, so clichéd, that it's quite funny. This film is the cinematic equivalent of a quattro formaggio pizza, literally dripping with cheese. Van Damme features very little in the movie and when he does, its in such a banal villain stereotype that one just has to chuckle. His death cry almost sounds like a cry of relief.

And as for the script, it's pure corny laughs throughout...

"The unidentified aircraft has turned out to sea" "Get me the police!"

The police? It's like one of those farcical multiple choice quizzes for imbeciles. An unidentified aircraft is encroaching on your sovereign airspace, do you (A) lock anti-aircraft missiles on the bogey, (B) scramble air force interceptors or (C) call the police. Yeah, police - good call. They've been itching for a chance to use those rocket powered jet skis!

Yes folks, this movie is jammed packed with the best of the worst. Great, grimacing camp fun. Enjoy!

Avatar (2009)

A good movie made better by the 3D format

[8/10 · 16 February 2010]

There have been a number of paradigm shifts in the history of cinema. Dubbing gave us sound to replace a honky-tonk piano and quote cards, then the revolution that was colour completely changed the viewing experience...and now we're in the third shift from two dimensions to three.

Avatar in 3D is a visual delight and you can immerse yourself in the rendered world, relishing the detail and perspective (provided you focus where the camera has focused, otherwise that blurry object in the foreground remains a blur).

If we strip away the 3D and look at it in 2D, what we find is something that looks very much like a Pixar animation with some live action sequences threaded in here and there. As for the plot, the fundamentals are a well-worn story (as many have said, think "Pocahontas" in a SciFi/Fantasy setting).

In the final analysis, what we have is an enjoyable, comfortable movie that is certainly very good...but not great. Just as the first "talkies" or colour movies would have enjoyed a lift from the new cinematic technology at the time, so it is for Avatar.

The Fountain (2006)

Dreary, disjointed and nigh on pretentious

[4/10 · 17 December 2009]

The Fountain is a film that tries too hard. A non-linear plot device can be very powerful but the presentation here is a little too contrived and a little too opaque to pull the technique off effectively.

There is a kernel of a really potent story; the anguished fight to save a loved one from a terminal disease. My problem is that it's so laden with clumsy and pretentious transcendental metaphors, delivered in that non- linear style, that it just ended up annoying me by totally undermining my ability to immerse myself in the movie and connect with the characters.

For me, this film is overrated and just isn't my cup of tea at all.

Alexander (2004)

Pass the cranberry sauce, this turkey needs some flavour!

[3/10 · 14 December 2009]

I've sat through this film on three separate occasions now, each of the subsequent two was an attempt to draw out some redeeming features from what must be an embarrassing blot on the portfolio of each esteemed cast member.

What went wrong? Each "A-list" actor in the cast has monumental acting talent and all have brilliant previous performances under their belt. The budget was clearly copious and all this, together with the central theme of Alexander the Great, should have been the ingredients to a cinema epic!

Alas all these ingredients just didn't mix - instead the film truly curdles into failure. Unconvincing character acting, dubious accents to the point of being funny (looking at you, Ms. Jolie) and a rambling, shambling long trek of a plot that totally fails to tap our empathic responses. I just didn't care about any of the characters or their objectives.

That said, I did indeed find that this film does indeed have a redeeming feature. It'll fit in nicely with that "so bad, it's good" films you find in the ex-rental bucket or gas station forecourt.

The Orphanage (2007)

An eerie yet engaging supernatural tale

[7/10 · 14 December 2009]

This is another one of Del Toro's films where the other-worldly ghostliness builds up quite subtly at first. This movie holds your attention and maintains the suspense with a chilly edge throughout.

Although it doesn't induce horror or any significant scares, it does convey a burgeoning sense of unease to the viewer and this is a testament to Del Toro's intelligent handling of the story.

There are certain fashions that afflict the genre - the Japanese and neighbouring far east Asian countries love girls in grubby nighties with bedraggled hair over their faces (all apparently inspired from the "Sadako" character of "The Ring"). We in the West have had a rash of "creepy kid" movies, where the horror comes from the incongruity of malevolence in a form of innocence. Del Toro handles his own "creepy kiddies" movie in a way that doesn't fall into step with those - making it an original and enjoyable film.

The Legend of Hell House (1973)

Haunted house movie that doesn't age that well

[6/10 · 14 December 2009]

I first saw this movie over twenty years ago and remember it being quite intense, with suspense and the unseen causing cold dread and shivers up the spine.

But that was over twenty years ago.

Since then, it has been rendered somewhat insipid by more modern movies in the horror genre (not all of them good but many providing more shocks, jumps and suspense than this one).

Watching this movie again was enjoyably nostalgic but did nothing to raise the hairs on the back of my neck. I give it a score of 6/10, as it's not a bad film and, in it's day, it was a more formidable viewing experience.

The Dark Knight (2008)

Good but not great

[7/10 · 11 December 2009]

This is quite a good Batman movie with plenty of the usual audio-visual delights we come to expect. I honestly think that while the late Heath Ledger does an excellent job playing "Joker", that doesn't make the film great.

The "bat-cycle" spawned from the remains of the Batmobile didn't sit well with me. Not just because of the dubious physics (it's only a movie) but more because it just felt bulky and clumsy, with the illusion of speed being poorly constructed.

As for Christian Bale, he's actually makes a good "Batman" but with one flaw - that really irritating hoarse whispery voice he affects when in Batman mode. Instead of sounding deep and menacing, it sounds like laryngitis!

I give this film a 7 based on its overall performance within its genre. It's good...but just not great.

12 Angry Men (1957)

Superb acting pulls you right in

[9/10 · 11 December 2009]

This is one of my all time favourite movies. The quality of acting is outstanding and this helps one become immersed in the story (despite it being black and white and shot, for the most part, in a single room).

The 1997 remake is actually a good film but the inevitable comparison with this one does it no favours. Both are, in my opinion, great showcases of character acting.

One other thing I particularly like about this 1957 film is the cinematography - it's very well shot and you can get a real sense of feeling enclosed in that jury room. This adds to the atmosphere of the film and I think deserves a special mention as it's often overlooked.

10,000 BC (2008)

Bland and dreary with a seedless climax

[3/10 · 10 May 2008]

Films don't have to be historically accurate to be entertaining - but they do need to have at least one or two characters with some depth, a reasonable script and a plot to hold your attention. This film had none of these.

The story develops so slowly that I had to consciously focus on the screen to prevent my attention wandering. It picks up a little more pace towards the end but not enough to offset the buttock numbing I endured for the one hour it took to get there. Even the fight scenes are somewhat antiseptic. I've seen more blood watching a Disney movie (although some of that may be my own).

Visually the movie is a mixed bag. The non-computer generated cinematography was good, if not great. The CGI mammoths and the mix of CGI and live action for the panoramic scenes around the pyramids were OK but the sabre-toothed tiger was way too artificial...and that's probably what will stick in the mind of most people.

The score was generic and forgettable...come to think of it, so was the acting! Plus the cheesy narration courtesy of Omar Sharif was mildly irritating. In summary, this was a film that disappoints, all the more so because it could and should have been much better.

Rambo (2008)

Action hero kills all the bad guys!

[7/10 · 2 March 2008]

If its action you want, well here it is. There's nothing at all to tax the intellect, just violence on automatic fire pretty much throughout the movie...which is exactly what most people who choose to see Rambo want.

If there was a weak spot, it was the missionaries. What a bunch of muppets! While obviously I understand what their role was in the movie (and hence why they acted the way they did), I couldn't care less about their fate. With a bunch of mercenaries called in to rescue them, I'd have left them to it. But then I'm no Rambo and it wouldn't have been much of a movie if all he did was put-put-put up and down the river.

Anyway I digress. Great action, plenty of machismo, blood and exaggerated weapons fire. It's what Rambo is all about.

Lions for Lambs (2007)

Pretentious movie "makes a point"

[3/10 · 2 March 2008]

Anyone of even moderate intelligence is likely to feel somewhat patronised by this movie. It's not that I disagree with the questions it poses, it just delivers its message in a frustratingly condescending manner.

The politician with an agenda character, complete with predictable propaganda patter, was an unnecessary cliché. I get it already! The reflective college professor and the brilliantly irritating self-obsessed student also excessively laboured their respective points.

Although I may empathise with some of the sentiments in this movie, I did not enjoy being spoon-fed its trite message. As I said, anyone of even moderate intelligence is likely to already understand the message anyway. The audience this film may be trying to "reach" probably won't have the stamina to chew through this dry and stolid sermon.

Beowulf (2007)

Visually impressive and enjoyable fantasy

[7/10 · 17 February 2008]

A well rendered computer generated fantasy inspired by the epic anglo-saxon poem Beowulf, from which it derives its title. Pedants will argue over the deviations from the classical text but, frankly, I couldn't care less.

The voice acting is generally very good, although it takes a little while to get past some of the accent choices, and it's easy to become immersed in the film and become less conspicuously aware that your watching CGI.

It's not a film without its share of minor frustrations either. Robin Wright Penn's portrayal of a jaded, world-weary queen did not translate well to her computer generated character on screen, which seemed annoyingly bland and wooden among an otherwise very charismatic cast.

Overall, a very enjoyable movie that is worth watching.

Note: Although most computer generated PG-rated movies are child-friendly, note that this is PG-13. It is dark and blood-splattered in places. This may not be a good film for younger children.

Hitman (I) (2007)

Enjoyable game-to-movie action romp

[8/10 · 17 February 2008]

Viewers unfamiliar with the video game won't be disappointed - this is a well rounded action movie in its own right. Those who have played the video games from which the film characters are derived should enjoy the way Olyphant brings the anti-hero to life on the big screen.

In places the movie skirts on the borders of the usual action movie clichés: our ice-cold protagonist appears to thaw due to good-hearted "victim of society" hooker, for example. However, this is reasonably well handled in this movie and thankfully we don't get a serving of love interest cheese.

Dougray Scott's detective in pursuit character is another overused "good cop against the establishment" device, although again this is handled in a way that doesn't unduly distract. The fact that Dougray repeatedly pulls out a cigarette that he never once lights does become slightly distracting. If Dougray is an ardent non-smoker, why bother with the cigarette prop at all? Hard cops don't have to be smokers.

As with all movies of this genre, realism gives way to visual impact. If it bothers you that someone can emerge victorious but unscathed from a 10-against-1 firefight, this may not be the movie for you. For the rest of us, put your brains into neutral and enjoy the show!

Serenity (2005)

Watchable but somewhat stale formula

[6/10 · 9 April 2006]

It was 9pm and I thought I would watch Serenity prior to winking out for the night. Having poured myself a very tall drink I was somewhat disappointed to find that this movie was fairly mediocre. I was faced with a quandary; quaff the beverage, bin the flick and go to bed or keep on sipping and tough it out. Realising that I can't really comment without seeing it through and that downing a large martini of those proportions in one hit isn't really on, I chose the latter.

This movie actually wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't such a tired formula. I won't give the plot away but then it's so predictable I don't really need to...just consider the ingredients; a rag-tag band of "outlaw" stereotypes led by the "lovable rogue" captain, a ruthless and relentless establishment "bad guy" in pursuit and a mysterious girl with an innocent and eccentric facade that belies "hidden powers" within. The plot and character combination would make it a challenge for any actor to perform well, so it will come as no surprise that the acting was fairly stolid...not helped by what appeared to be attempts to inject some humour with a little hamming it up that, sadly, failed to hit the mark. Reasonable but antiseptically artificial special effects rounded off an overall bland movie experience.

Update: the film improves with a second viewing and, on giving it another go, I found it easier to look beyond the deficiencies and enjoyed it more.