alan_v35 Reviews

Down for Life (2009)

My vote for the best of the 2009 TIFF

[10/10 · 8 October 2009]

I rolled into TO for the last weekend of the 2009 TIFF (Toronto Int'l Film Festival) and went on a whirlwind movie spree, seeing nine movies in two days. Some, like My Son, My Son What Ye Done, were god awful, pretentious art-house junk and others, like Jennifer's Body, were pretty good, but head and shoulders above the other eight was Down For life. This gritty inner city drama, which is apparently a true story inspired by a New Times article, crackles with realism and the performers seem to be simply living rather than acting at all. The action scenes are gripping and look more like Youtube than Hollywood, thanks to the skilled direction of little-known director, Alan Jacobs.

Jessica Romero, was cast right off the streets of East Central to play the lead role of Rascal, the streetwise leader of a small women's wing of a Latino gang. The whole story takes place in a single chaotic day in her violence-filled life. Conflict surrounds her, both inside and outside the gang, as well as in the home. On top of all this is a looming deadline for entry to a summer writing program that Rasacal is being encouraged to apply for by a concerned teacher played by Danny Glover. The program might be an escape hatch to a better life or may just add to her problems. The crisp story moves along quickly and eventually takes us a scene so jarring that viewers seemed to jump back in their seats as one.

Down For Life is a current and raw film made in the vein of such inner city classics as Boyz n The Hood. It is an independent film and may be hard to find, but as the best film of 2009, thus far, it is well worth the effort. If you would like to read more of my reviews, slide over to realmoviereview.com.

Jennifer's Body (2009)

Worth seeing says the Manhattan Movie Maniac

[7/10 · 4 October 2009]

I saw Jenniefer's Body in its third and final screening at the Toronto film festival and found it to be a pleasant surprise. This is a comedy/horror in the vein of an American Werewolf in London, and this genre has more than its share of video store dust collectors. Two names give this one a shot of avoiding this fate.

One is Diablo Cody's sparkling writing which though sometimes over the top, is interesting, amusing and at least makes us old geezers over 25, feel like we are in on the hippest new teen slang. Whether we are or not, how would I know? I haven't spoken to a teen since the last time I got a 2am Big Mac at a drive through.

The other advantage Jenniefer's Body has is, well, Jennifer's body. Hiring Transformers star, Meagan Fox, has gotten this film a lot of attention and even more so when word got out on what a sexy role the sultry beauty would be playing. She looks good (pronounced in this case as goooooooood) and puts in a pretty solid performance besides. This girl may still have a future when she stops spouting off yawning filler dialog next to stupid alien warbots that somehow felt that they should earn some extra product placement coin by turning into the latest model year of cars sold on a planet 800 zillion years from where they're from. Sorry. Guess I sprinted off onto a raving tangent for a second there.

Jennifer's Boday is the story of a couple of teenage friends. The applicably named everygirl is Needy (played by Amanda Seyfried), who finds herself torn between her sweet boyfriend, Chip (Johnny Simmons) and her hot, school ruling best friend, Jennifer Check sizzled up by the aforementioned Ms. Fox. The two friends head off to a local bar where Jenniefer is hot to hook up with a visiting band. They both have a night of their lives, but not in a good way. All young women at this age are undergoing a lot of changes, but not usually as extreme as Jennifer who might also be some kind of bloodthirsty, short-skirted monster. Its up to Needy to figure out whats going on.

With equal parts comedy, horror, gore and a little suspense mixed in, this film tries to do a lot, but never tries to take itself seriously, which in the end saves it from sinking into the crap pile. Some decent performers firing out Cody's Juno-style dialog make this one worth catching. If you would like to read more of my reviews, check me out at realmoviereview.com.

The Water Horse (2007)

Rated too highly...

[5/10 · 24 April 2008]

Here we have another family film about a boy and his beast. It's a cliché, but thats fine, if well written with some good dialog and interesting characters. The characters here are under-developed and really offer little of interest. The film lacks a decent villain and the dialog offers nothing clever or original.

The CGI is excellent, but that is not enough, anymore. These days we expect the CGI to be spotless, and should not be willing to make allowances on story and character because the CGI was good. I suppose there was a time, when a reviewer might note that while a story was rather weak, the color was striking. Those days are gone...

The Water Horse is a mediocre film and should be seen by kids who express an interest or by grown ups who want to see the 'Nessie' mythology illustrated and built upon, but really, for other viewers, there are better choices out there, aren't there? Check me out - realmoviereview.com

10,000 BC (2008)

This bites like an ill-tempered dog....

[3/10 · 9 March 2008]

Well, after creating an alien invasion in Independence Day and a giant monster in Godzilla, two things have become abundantly clear about writer/producer/director Roland Emmerich. He is very skilled at creating large-scale CGI spectacles, and he is the worst writer getting rich in Hollywood, today. It's hard to believe that this is the same mind that brought us the shallow, but very entertaining, Stargate. At least, in his previous projects, however, Emmerich was willing to lay out some cash to get his dumb lines delivered by professional stars with some skill and charisma. Not so here. The cast of 10,000 B.C. is largely made up of lost unknowns and untalented newcomers, with the exceptions of Cliff Curtis and narrator Omar Sharif (I've heard of him). The fitful acting is worsened by soap opera quality dialog and a story that belongs on Saturday morning cartoons. Even Emmerich's direction, which helped his earlier efforts seems tired and unimaginative, here. The manhattan Movie Maniac - Realmoviereview.com

The woeful, and historically-inaccurate, story (I won't even get started with that) of 10,000 B.C. starts out with a clan of mammoth hunters, living a Native-American inspired lifestyle. Their little world, which includes perfect use of all language concepts except contractions, is upset when a young, blue-eyed girl (Evolet) stumbles into their village and prompts their magical mystic ("Old mother" - that's original) to fire out a doom filled prophecy. Aren't all prophecies doom filled? When was the last time anyone made a prophesy something bland, but pleasant? Anyway, the prophecy prompts the village's main hunter, and holder of some ridiculously prominent white spear, to abandon his son, and his clan, to go...go...I don't really know why he left, but he left. Some kind of plan to stop the prophecy, I guess. At any rate, he leaves his son, D' Leh, who grows up, falls in love with Evolet and becomes a leader. His world is turned upside down when a group of technologically advanced raiders show up and take Evolet, and others, captive. Now, D'Leh and a few companions have to rescue them, which involves crossing the great mountains, meeting new groups, stopping for cappuccino, etc. Okay, I made up the last part, but if they had, it wouldn't have made the story much more ridiculous than it already is. The wonderful CGI effects in 10,000 B.C. could not save this sorry effort from the blunt force trauma of my keyboard. Imagine Apocalypto, crossed with Quest for Fire and mixed together with Stargate, and you have 10,000 B.C., which is nowhere near as good as any of those films (and I didn't even like Quest For Fire that much). The usual crowd of easily-pleased action fans will like this one, and spout off with usual "can't you just enjoy the movie" kind of defense, but others should stay away from the shrapnel of this bomb. The CGI animals are cool to watch and they entertained me in a Jurassic Park 2, kind of way for awhile, but there wasn't even enough of that, so I was left to endure a story that is on a par with the efforts of a motivated eighth grader, disappointing performances from a cast that may improve one day, but I doubt it, and action direction that had all the imagination of an infomercial. If you catch trailer for this one, you have seen the best it has to offer. It only gets worse from there. 10,000 B.C. is the first major cinematic disappointment of 2008.

TMNT (2007)

Someone said it was exactly like the TV cartoon....so?

[2/10 · 13 September 2007]

The rental box for this piece of crap should be stamped with a large warning label: 'For Children Only. May cause vomiting and suicidal thoughts for adults'. Except, of course, that the film's violence has earned it a PG rating, so I'm not sure if parents would choose this for their kids, either. Well, the Turtles are back in a movie that looks so much like a video game that all it needs is the Sony PS3 logo. The acting is fine with such names as Patrick Stewart as villain, Max Winters and Laurence Fishburne as the narrator. The story is kindergarten simple and the dialog is on a par with the most mediocre Saturday morning efforts. There is less action that you would expect to find and the jokes don't work. So what's left? The film starts with a 3,000-year-old back-story that ends with 13 monsters being released into the world. Meanwhile, old turtle friend April O'Neil sets out to find Leonardo who has been training alone in Central America. She convinces him to return to his family, which has been floundering in his absence. Isn't the profound wisdom of Master Splinter enough to keep these guys on track? Anyways, he does return and after a bunch of squabbling, the turtles get back down to the business of making money- I mean fighting evil.

I can only guess that this mass marketing machine that lead off with a movie is aimed at youngsters and maybe at those who enjoyed the cartoons, movies and games from the last time these four were set upon the wallets of impressionable children and their helpless parents. There is nothing new to offer, here and what is re-hashed wasn't interesting the first twenty times we saw it in movies exactly like this one.

This work was first posted on realmoviereview.com

Vacancy (2007)

No restful night's sleep at this motel

[6/10 · 13 September 2007]

Vacancy is the first English language project for director Nimrod Antal who caught Hollywood's eye with the 2003 Hungarian language, subway project, Kontrol (or Control in the US) With Vacancy, Antal has created a pretty good small-scale thriller with decent performances, good action and well-done edge-of-your-seat suspense. The story is simple and fairly believable for the suspense genre, which usually bends credibility to the breaking point. Luc Wilson, who usually does comedy, shows that he can handle a change of pace here. Beckinsale's character has less to do, perhaps, but her performance seems flat in comparison.

A married couple on the verge of divorce after the loss of a child, is traveling off the interstate when car trouble lands them at an out-of-the-way motel, where manager, Mason, played by Frank Whaley hooks them up with the honeymoon suite at no extra cost, but they get anything but a restful night's sleep here.

Vacancy is a decent suspense genre formula film that could have used better-developed villains and more innovation. The end result is a generic thriller with little to differentiate itself from the scores of others to choose from. It's not a bad movie and suspense fans might like it, but with Fracture on the New Release shelf, I would go for that one first.

This work was first posted on realmoviereview.com

Roving Mars (2005)

NASA hasn't looked this good since Apollo 13

[6/10 · 13 September 2007]

This incredible, true science story was made and released on Imax, but I saw it on DVD. It is straightforward and, while interesting, it has limited entertainment value for those with little interest in the Mars Rover project. It is short and I felt that more could have been included and an effort could have been made to use more of a 'storytelling' approach. As well, writer/director/narrator George Butler could have used celebrities or strong personalities among the mission team, to create more interest. his choice, however, was to create a simple documentary, which is fine for space race fans, but of limited interest to others.

The feature tells the story of NASA's Mars Rover mission, which saw the construction of two incredibly complex robotic vehicles (The total technology involved in the rovers exceeds the brain capacity of any one person - best useless fact of the film) named 'Spirit' and 'Opportunity' and sent them to the surface of Mars, where they landed successfully in the summer of 2003. There is extensive footage of the surface of Mars, where both carefully accurate CGI and actual Rover footage, is used to give the viewer a nice visit to another world. Amazingly, the planned mission of 90 days has now gone on for over four years and continues to this day. They don't tell you that in the film. I became curious and looked it up for you guys.

This documentary is an excellent choice for educators and for those with an interest in the space program. Many others, who are less academically curious will not enjoy it and should steer clear. If it is your cup of tea, then check out the special features, as well. They share a lot more interesting information.

This work was first posted on realmoviereview.com

Superbad (2007)

Porkys and American Pie have nothing on Superbad

[13 September 2007]

The teen sex comedy is back and in the fine tradition of countless, tasteless classics, Superbad picks up the fallen torch and uses the light from it to look for a way to get laid. The movie is not original or deep, but it is pretty damn funny. The young performers are great and actually look the parts they play and show some real acting ability. Hill is a regular part of the Seth Rogan mob that is ruling Hollywood comedies these days, while Sera is in his first big screen starring roles after years of TV work on Arrested Development. The real shock here is the teenager, Christopher Mintz-Plasse who is on-screen for the first time and is great.

The story here is simplicity, itself. It's two weeks to high school graduation and Seth (Jonah Hill) desperately wants to share some carnal moments with a girl, preferably Jules (Emma Stone). His best friend, Adam (Sera) has romantic aspirations for Becca (Martha MacIsaac) and the key to these dreams seems to be Jules' party for which they have offered to come up with the booze – a tricky offer when you are three years underage. The key to their plan is the hopeless, Fogell, (Christopher Mintz-Plasse), who has just bought a new fake ID, and gave himself an attention-grabbing new name to go along with it. The simple plan of having Fogell buy the booze and arriving at the party as heroes and stepping into the waiting arms of their intoxicated fantasy girls for an evening of new pleasures doesn't go as smoothly as they planned (obviously) and soon all three are off on a series of misadventures that include two police officers (Hader & Rogan), an armed robbery and a couple vehicle-pedestrian accidents.

This movie is not for everyone. This is an adolescent comedy from the same minds that came up with the 40 Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up. It's similar in mindset to Porky's and the American Pie series. If you enjoyed these movies, then Superbad will be a couple hours of groaning, giggling and loudly laughing at the high school antics that we were never dumb enough, desperate enough, or unlucky enough to engage in when we were in high school. Or so we claim, anyway.

This review was first posted on realmoviereview.com

Perfect Stranger (2007)

Waste of time....

[4/10 · 13 September 2007]

This mystery/suspense project seems to be mainly concerned with being a jiggle fest for Berry with plenty of slow, panning body shots of her. Now, don't get me wrong, that's not a bad thing, but it seems to interrupt the focus off of the story, which flounders in spots and then has an ending that is like throwing a bucket of paint. It gets everything, but nothing is done well.

Berry plays Rowena, an investigative journalist who, in a round about way, comes to be investigating her friend's murder. Her only suspect is Harrison Hill, a womanizing advertising mogul, played by Bruce Willis, who seems to have had an Internet romance, turned real with the victim. More evidence is needed (as it always is) so Rowena goes undercover in Hill's company to try to get close to him and his computer. Since online relationships figure somewhat prominently in this movie there are a lot of scenes of the characters typing furiously that kind of reminded me of a cross between Disclosure and You Got Mail. Anyway, Rowena and her friend Miles (who sure seems to have a lot of time on his hands) go after Harrison in all the ways they can think of.

Not a bad movie, but it's missing the elements that could have made it a good movie. The acting is average, but the script offered the performers little to work with. It is crammed full of wooden cliché dialog and the characters have little about them to make us care. On top of that the story lacks a sharp focus. Suitable fare for hardcore mystery fans and those who just want to look at Halle Berry for a couple of hours.

This work was first posted on realmoviereview.com

The Ultimate Gift (2006)

This was a surprise

[5/10 · 13 September 2007]

Well, this was a surprise. I picked this film up as a new video release not realizing that it was from the Fox Faith Collection – a Christian film. Oh well, I thought, I am a reviewer. How bad can it be? Not all that bad to be honest. The acting is uneven, with some of the unknowns struggling, while the old pros like Garner, Cobbs and Dennehy are as skilled as ever. The dialog is wooden and stilted in spots, but I've seen worse. The story, which is based on Jim Stovall's novel of the same name, is manipulative (big surprise there), but is fairly engaging once it gets going.

Drew Fuller's inexperience shows itself from time to time, as he plays Jason Stevens, the spoiled grandson of a deceased billionaire whose expectations from the will are put off while he is led through several tasks designed to make him a better person. Along the way, he meets and befriends a young girl named Emily, played by Abigail Breslin just before Little Miss Sunshine hit the theaters and made her a big star. Her mother, Alexia, played by Ali Hillis. The production values here are Hollywood quality, though both the script and the acting could have been improved.

Well, I have seen a lot better and much, much worse, so if you are attracted at all by the idea of seeing a spiritually based film, then this is not a bad choice. The whole thing kinda plays like a dramatic, spiritual version of Brewster's Millions, though I have to say that I still prefer the Richard Pryor and John Candy choice.

This work was first posted on realmoviereview.com

The Ex (2006)

Yawwwwwwn

[6/10 · 13 September 2007]

Though it was released worldwide as Fast Track, its US title was The Ex (likely because of a copyright issue), which doesn't really suit the film. The young stars do a good job, and there are some laughs, though the story is only slightly more elaborate than a sit com. Still, it has a few shining moments.

Zach Braff is Tom Reilly, a soon-to-be father who finds himself forced to take a job with His father-in-law (Grodin in a very good performance) at an ad agency where he finds him self pitted against his wife's high school friend, and fling, Chip Sanders (Jason Bateman) for his corporate survival.

This formula comedy is a mix of TV's The Office and Meet The Parents, which means that it also has a higher frustration level than I usually enjoy in my comedies, as things get progressively worse and worse for poor Tom Reilly. Still, this film will appeal to fans of the hot young cast, and of the movies mentioned above. For others, its not bad and should give a giggle or two.

This work was first posted on realmoviereview.com

Lonely Hearts (2006)

LA Confidential crossed with The Black Dahlia

[6/10 · 13 September 2007]

With this star-studded cast, it's hard to believe that this movie went straight to video. Or did it just fly through the theater so fast that I missed it? I'm not sure, but either way, it deserved better. This is a decent period piece crime drama, in the Bonnie and Clyde vein, by writer/director Todd Robinson, who has a couple Emmy winning documentaries, under his belt, so tackling a true story as a drama seems to make sense. The whole cast gives strong performances and the story is not bad, though it seems to plod along at times.

Lonely Hearts is a true story, set in the late 1940s. Jared Leto is Ray Fernandez, a slick conman pulling his marks from the lonely heart section of the newspaper, romancing them and then taking off with all of their cash. According to the film, his scumbag pattern only turns deadly after he meets Martha Beck (Salma Hayek), who begins to work with him, posing as his sister. Her jealousy, however, leads to her killing the women that Ray is romancing. Travolta's character, Elmer Robinson, becomes obsessed with busting Fernandez after one of his marks commits suicide, and he and his partner, Charles Hildebrandt (Gandolfini) are already on the robbing Romeo's tail when he hooks up with Beck.

This one reminded me of LA Confidential crossed with The Black Dahlia, though it was better than the latter and not as good as the former. I often don't enjoy period pieces like this, but I found this one fairly engaging. The cop characters are kind of bland, but the murderous couple was very interesting and I was never sure what would happen next between them. A decent renter for fans of the genre.

This work was first posted on realmoviereview.com

Thunderheart (1992)

I like this movie

[7/10 · 12 September 2007]

This well done action movie was inspired by true events from the mid 70s and is marked by authentic characters, engaging action sequences and above average dialog which drives a formulaic, but interesting, story. Michael Apted deserves credit for casting North American Indians in several key roles, instead of slipping in unconvincing impostors (Fred Ward, notwithstanding). Both Tousey and Thin Elk were on screen for the first time in this movie and did very well. Both Kilmer and Greene give wonderful performances, as usual, and are backed up by the comfortable professional, Sam Shepard. The ending is clichéd, but not bad. All in all, this is a solid action choice.

FBI agent, Ray Lavoie (Val Kilmer) has managed to suppress the Indian side of his heritage, but is forced to confront it, when he is chosen to join a murder investigation on a South Dakota Indian Reservation. His local supervisor in the area is Frank Coutelle (Shepard), who explains that there is internal strife between two factions on the reserve and armed men are everywhere. Along the way, Lavoie meets a sarcastic, but savvy, local lawman, Walter Crow Horse (Greene) and a fiery, pacifistic activist in Maggie Eagle Bear (Tousey). The area is a powder keg of brewing violence and Lavoie has to both solve the mystery on the reserve, and the mystery in his own heart about his own background.

I like this movie very much and have seen it several times. On top of being an enjoyable action film it has a little to say about the plight of those whose story it tells. Kilmer is solid, as always and both Green and Thin Elk's characters are worth seeing. If you have not caught this one, check it out.

This work was first posted on realmoviereview.com

Death Sentence (2007)

CSI it ain't

[4/10 · 12 September 2007]

James Wan, who is best known as part of the crew that brought us the Saw series, tries an revenge/action flick this time out in the spirit of the Death Wish series from a couple decades ago. This makes sense, however, since Death Sentence is based on a novel by Brian Garfield, who also wrote Death Wish (got any new ideas, Brian?) and not much has changed since Charles Bronson set out to make the urban jungle safe for decent folk with a sock full of quarters in the original Death Wish. The story is emotionally manipulative and all of the characters are one dimensional. Credibility is badly strained here by the keystone cops who seem helpless to solve crimes that Homer Simpson could figure out. Okay, maybe not Homer, but Lisa could do it in a second! Suffice to say, that these are not CSI-proof crime scenes we are talking about, here. The acting is adequate, but the dialog and story just don't work. Luckily, there is plenty of action and enough righteous self-indignation opportunities to keep your mind off all of that boring plot and detail stuff.

Kevin Bacon is Nick Hume, a stable, loving (perfect and boring - haven't I see this guy in about 3,000 movies before?) family man, whose oldest, and favorite son, Brendan (Lafferty) is senselessly murdered and the broken down justice system is unable to do more than put his worthless killer away for a few years. This isn't good enough for Hume, who sets out for a little eye-for-an-eye justice, but in doing so, brings danger to himself and the rest of his little family. Hedlund plays the requisite leader of a gang of non-thinking street toughs, while John Goodman's acid tongued hard ass, 'Bones', is the only interesting character in the whole movie.

It's not great, but then again neither were most of the Death Wish movies (though number one was better than this). Wan keeps the action up, but you will need to turn your brain down to enjoy this one, which has some kind of muddled message about violence not being the answer. If you are looking for a really enjoyable film for Friday night viewing, this one isn't the answer either. Let's hope that Jodie Foster and director Neil Jordan have a better answer when their revenge/action effort comes out in a couple weeks.

This work was first posted on realmoviereview.com

Resurrecting the Champ (2007)

This was a pleasant surprise

[7/10 · 12 September 2007]

Where did this movie come from? When I went to see it, I had heard nothing. No previews, no commercials, nothing. Thus, having no expectations, this small touching film, was a pleasant surprise. Director, Rod Lurie, who until a few years ago, was a - gasp!- critic, could have moved things along a little faster and perhaps cut down the subplots a little, but this is still an enjoyable film, with an Oscar-worthy performance from Samuel L. Jackson. The story is strong and there are some good characters, particularly in small roles. The project is apparently a true story (sort of) based on a Los Angeles Times article.

Josh Hartnett is Erik, a struggling sports reporter who comes across a homeless man with a tale to tell. It seems the indigent man, known around the neighborhood as 'Champ', whom Erik saves from the cruel attentions of some young idiots, was once a semi-successful boxer named 'Battling Bob' Satterfield who had been rated 3rd in the world. Erik sets out to tell the man's story, for both of their benefit. Look for David Paymer and Teri Hatcher in small roles. Alan Alda has a very good supporting role as well, as Erik's boss, Metz.

This was a pretty good drama that I saw as a kind of cross between The Fisher King and Street Smart. Some might find it too slow, but I felt that my patience was rewarded with a very good third act and a good overall viewing experience.

This work was first posted on realmoviereview.com

Georgia Rule (2007)

Chicks only.

[6/10 · 12 September 2007]

How, I struggle for my craft! Besides being the only male in the theater for this one, I'm sure that I was about half the median age (never thought I'd ever use that Math term in normal conversation) of the other viewers. Still can't complain, I guess. I got phone numbers. Okay, enough with the jokes! The movie is a pretty solid drama that kinda plays like Pleasantville meets Fried Green Tomatoes. I believe that this is the movie that required Ms. Lohan to receive a letter reminding her to show up on time for work and not suffering from the latent effects of alcohol poisoning. The letter was leaked (surprise, surprise) and smeared Lindsay's already tarnished public image. That's a shame, because she does a very good job playing a spoiled, sexually aggressive, and very confused, teenager. How hard of an acting job was that for her? OK, OK, now, I'm done with the jokes! She holds her own alongside far more seasoned performers. Mulroney, Elwes and Fonda are very good, while Huffman and Hedlund struggled to keep up with the fast company here. The story is good and not as predictable as these films usually are.

Lindsay Lohan is Rachael, a temperamental, rich LA teenager sent by her struggling mother (Huffman) to a primarily Mormon town to stay with her estranged and rigid grandmother/drill sergeant, Georgia, played by Fonda. The interplay between these two personalities would be a story in itself, and that is actually what I had expected. Instead, there are all kinds of family and personal issues for Rachael to figure out and one big question that everyone needs settled. Plus, all these darn men just keep getting in the way. There is actually too much story here and forces director, Marshall to come to quick and superficial solutions, even compared to other dramas of this type. I guess it was either that or turn it into a trilogy and we all know how much Hollywood hates to do that.

Drama fans and bonding women looking to share popcorn and a tissue will enjoy this one (though you will probably not need the tissue), while most men would probably rather wait in the car.

This work was first posted on realmoviereview

The 11th Hour (I) (2007)

His heart is in the right place, but...

[6/10 · 12 September 2007]

I applaud Leonardo DiCaprio's effort to co-write and co-produce this Al Gore-style environmental warning film. I agree with his views and those espoused by the never-ending parade of speakers about the need to address the environmental collapse that threatens to destroy our way of life, and indeed our very lives, however, I think he really could have found a better way to express these views. His heart is in the right place, but Leo, my friend, heart ain't enough. He has some interesting speakers but repetition might help study for a biology exam, but it doesn't do much for entertainment.

Pack the bags, honey! We're going on a guilt trip. Al gore took us on one of these, as well, but at least he gave some amusement along the way and offered an upbeat optimistic ending that made us believe that it wasn't too late to save the whales, the tigers and all of those little humans running around ( I kind of like them). Here we are offered a parade of authors, scientists and environmental leaders telling us over and over again that we better get moving. Some solutions are looked at and those are always good to see, but a little entertainment value would have gone a long way.

Dry, but not a bad documentary, and certainly a topic that does need to driven (ummm, or commuted on a high speed electric train) into our consciousness a couple more times at least. A little more imagination and variety would have helped out here. I know that guys like Leo and Gore like to think they are persuading, but really they are mostly preaching to the choir, (will George Bush see this film? I'm guessing not - probably thinks its left wing pinko propaganda) so at least at least give us a chuckle or two along with our sermon. Still, celebrities and politicians see the public's will through box office receipts, so please see this movie.

This work was first posted on realmoviereview.com

Blades of Glory (2007)

Well, it has its moments

[6/10 · 12 September 2007]

This movie is one of those Hollywood Cinderella stories that we hear of from time to time. Unknown Directors, Gordon and Speck, teamed up with a pair unknown brothers (Jeff and Craig Cox) to somehow land a project with star Will Ferrell and Napoleon Dynamite's star, Jon Heder. The result is a silly comedy, that is just as dumb as it appears to be, but is entertaining, nonetheless.

Chazz Michael Michaels (Ferrell) and Jimmy MacElroy (Heder) are bitter figure skating rivals who are stripped of their gold medals and left banned from men's figure skating. Soon, they find a loophole that will allow them to compete in the pair's arena, much to the consternation of the ruling champions, Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg (Arnett and Poehler), who set out to disrupt their progress. Their coach (Craig T. Nelson) has a secret move, though. It's dangerous, but can min it all for them…if they can just master it in two weeks! This movie has some funny moments with overblown skating scenes, though the gag about homophobic guys who are freaked out by physical contact with another man is played to death. Look for some cameos by a number of skating stars. This will be enjoyed by Ferell fans and others who don't mind comedies that don't recognize any limits on how silly a movie can get.

This work was first posted on realmoviereview.com

Balls of Fury (2007)

Anyone seen Enter The Dragon?

[5/10 · 12 September 2007]

Ben Garant joined with fellow Reno 911!er, Thomas Lennon to write this comedy, before getting behind the lens for his first feature film, while Lennon took the supporting role of German champion Karl Wolfschtagg. However, the star here is Dan Fogler, in a Jack Black kind of role as a Ping Pong protégé turned has-been, Randy Daytona. The acting is fine, and it's always great to see Christopher Walken back on screen. The story is pretty much a by-the-numbers spoof of Bruce Lee's Enter the Dragon, with some James Bond, Scarface and every clichéd martial arts film ever made. The script, the bread and butter of every comedy, is only passable, with more smiles and chuckles than laughs.

Randy Daytona loses the 1988 Olympic Gold medal for ping-pong, and his father on the same day, and becomes a has-been haunted by his line, "I'm going to Disneyland". Daytona gets another chance when he is approached by FBI agent, Ernie Rodriguez (played by George Lopez), to go undercover at an underground ping-pong tournament run by the evil criminal emperor, Feng (Walken). After a gruelling training regiment under Master Wong, played well by veteran actor, James Hong, and his daughter, Maggie (Maggie Q) who looks great and has some very cool moves.

This review has come out pretty positive, but, although there are some good characters and ideas here, there is a lack of really funny jokes and, really, in a martial arts spoof about ping-pong that is packed with more talent than Tiger Woods, it shouldn't have been that hard to get a few really good laughs.

This work was first posted on realmoviereview.com

Diggers (2006)

Perfect Storm without the storm

[6/10 · 12 September 2007]

Diggers is a touching character-driven drama about a group of family, friends and lovers living in a small town. It features outstanding acting from a cast made up, mainly, of little-known performers. The characters are interesting and well-developed through authentic dialog and the direction that effectively captures the small-town atmosphere. The story…well, did I mention that the characters and dialog are good? No real story here to speak of; just a meandering tale of people coping with changing life circumstances.

Paul Rudd, semi-familiar from roles in recent comedies like Knocked Up and 40 Year Old Virgin, plays Hunt, the last in a long line of clam diggers in a town where a ruthless corporation named South Shell is squeezing out the small individual clam diggers. Corporations suck. Anyone who doesn't think so, probably works for one. Hunt, along with his friends and family, struggles to come to grips with their dying way of life, as they live and love their way through the story. Maura Tierny is particularly impressive as Hunt's sister and Josh Hamilton is great as his erudite buddy while Alex Pickett steals scene after scene as a father under pressure.

This movie reminds me of Perfect Storm without the storm. The atmosphere is set and the characters are developed, but not much happens. Its not unpleasant to watch and doesn't really drag, but seriously, shouldn't something happen?

This work was first posted on realmoviereview.com

Unaccompanied Minors (2006)

one is too high a rating

[1/10 · 12 September 2007]

I am a fun-loving guy. I like to laugh, hear jokes and stuff like that. This is why I often like to see a comedy – even if its bad, it will give me a chuckle or two. Even those aimed at younger viewers are always good for a giggle, or at least a guffaw. Well, not always, I guess. This Home Alone wannabe is as funny as blood on the sidewalk. It has poor acting, a yawner of a story, jokes that are not funny, and a fine selection of stock characters that have been so overused by Hollywood, that the whole movie is as appealing as a commercial that you have seen six times in the last hour. If I have been a little wordy, and unclear, up to this point, let me say succinctly. This movie sucks.

The premise here is that six youngsters, ranging in age from around seven to 14, are flying as unaccompanied minors, when a blizzard strands them at some airport somewhere, where they promptly set out on a mission of mischief that uses a lot of unfunny ideas and drab comic violence (particularly voice changing groin strikes – those are ALWAYS funny, right?) mixed in with toilet humor (Ingenious! Who would have thought of that?). There is an evil airport manager or something, who's as pleasant as an evening alone with an electric cattle prod and a mentally, deranged convict named Sparky. Now, that's not as fun as it sounds (never mind how I know!) bu it would probably still make a better movie than this one. I could go on, but I think I have made my point.

It starts bad and it gets worse. It's not interesting and it's not funny. The only possible positive aspect to watching this might be a new appreciation for the value of every moment of the precious gift called life. Maniac out.

This work was first posted on realmoviereview.com

Mr. Bean's Holiday (2007)

A different kind of Bean...

[5/10 · 12 September 2007]

Mr. Bean is back to give us ninety minutes of nonsense that is mainly dependent upon physical comedy. This, the second Bean movie, is more European than the first. The movie starts out weak, but does get better as it goes on, though the humor is more likely to elicit a chuckle than a laugh, even among Bean fans, which I admit I am not.

The man with a thousand faces starts out here by winning a trip to Cannes in a church raffle. On his way to the legendary beaches of the Riviera, he ruins the day of a few people before accidentally separating a father and son on their way to Cannes. The hero then tries to help the poor boy, Stepan (Baldry) re-unite with his father and soon has plenty of problems of his own, before he meets an aspiring actress named Sabine (de Caunes) after disrupting American film director, Carson Clay's (played by Dafoe) film efforts. There is a chicken chase, an opera performance, and a film festival premiere, but most of all, there is constant Bean idiocy and camera mugging that has gained Atkinson millions of fans all over the world.

This film was not to my taste, but my companion, who was a Bean fan, suggested that four stars would be a fair rating. Her assessment, notwithstanding, I went lower than that. Not only because I didn't get too many laughs out of this one, but also because I didn't see any uproarious response from the crowd, which I would expect included a good number of Bean fans. So, there it is. Bean fans will probably enjoy it, while their companions will probably feel like they are proving their loyalty/love/friendship, etc. by going along.

This work was first posted on realmoviereview.com

Manufacturing Dissent (2007)

Look out Mike! They are coming for you!

[5/10 · 12 September 2007]

Now, I like Michael Moore. I know that his features are less documentaries than they are carefully crafted diatribes that are laced with humor, questionable facts and are always completely one-sided. So, when I heard about this feature (named as a play on Noam Chomsky's book, 'Manufacting Consent') that takes a hard look at him, I wanted to see it. I have to say that their argument is persuasive, and there are several very unflattering items, that I'm sure Moore would have preferred not to see on film.

What happens when the hunter becomes the hunted? Michael Moore is known to the movie-going public as a corporate bigwig buster, and the Republican Party's most vocal opponent (at least the most vocal opponent that has never appeared on a ballot). This Canadian-made documentary features a couple of determined filmmakers trying to get an interview with the biggest name in mainstream documentaries. Unfortunately the American champion of the little guy proves to be as elusive as he claimed GM Chairman Roger Smith was in the Moore's first feature, 1989's Roger and Me. While the deadly duo is following Moore around the country trying to get a sit down, they are also exposing fallacies that they found in his various films and talking about his professional rise to his current level of wealth and, complete with interviews with friends and business associates, past and present. There is also, of course, ample footage of Moore, himself, from his features, other speaking engagements and encounters with the filmmakers themselves. The attacks upon his work include everything from careful editing to assure that he remains in the forefront and downplaying the efforts of others to outright lies.

I already knew that Michael Moore does not even attempt to put forth a balanced view in his features and knew that his 'facts' should not be accepted completely at face value. Although, I understand Caine and Melnyk's frustration at trying to get an interview, I have to wonder why they think they are entitled to one? Moore is a busy celebrity who, undoubtedly, has many demands on his time. Some of the material presented about Moore is disconcerting, but I usually find myself in agreement with his views, so I guess I am willing to forgive his character flaws and look forward to his next work. He should try to be a better person, though. I should too.

This work was first published on realmoviereview.com

3:10 to Yuma (2007)

Anyone else find this story impossible to buy???

[6/10 · 12 September 2007]

Well, I have never seen the original version of this film, but I trust it was more convincing than this. As a true western lover, I may have had expectations that were too high, but this movie didn't manage to win me over. The action is very well done, particularly the early stage robbery, and the characters are initially good, though Crowe's scripture-spouting evil superman-like outlaw leader never really rang true for me. This started out as a mild, nagging irritant that grew as the story unfolded. Crowe and Bale's performances are very good, and Ben Foster is good as 'Hand of God' (Great name) gunslinger, Charlie Prince, though his character is never developed beyond the superficial level. The story starts out strong but gradually lost me until its ending turned ludicrous and had me looking around to see the reaction of the rest of the crowd, but they appeared to be surprisingly engrossed in the silliness on screen.

The story is about two men, the first of whom is Dan Evans (Christian Bale), whose ranch is being strangled by a greedy businessman. the second is an arrogant outlaw leader named Ben Wade, who Evans sees leading an attack on a heavily armed stagecoach. Shortly, the stunningly reckless Wade is easily captured. A plan is hatched to move him to a nearby railroad town and send him to Yuma Penitentiary, but Wade's gang presents a problem. Evans offers to join the transporting posse, in return for much-needed cash and the story is set. Some kind of Old West-style Stockholm Syndrome sets in and the rest....well, i don't want to blow the rest, but be careful not to give it any sort of thought.

There is some excellent, and original (particularly impressive in this genre) action and this backed up by some interesting characters, but Crowe's characters' actions are so far-fetched, that the whole story collapses and will likely leave all, but the action crowd unsatisfied.

This work was first published on realmoviereview.com