Bettlejuice Reviews

Semi-Pro (2008)

Will Ferrel plays another sport

[4/10 · 3 September 2008]

It can be said that any Will Ferrell movie can be summed up by the following Mad Lib: Will Ferrel plays (character name). He plays (sport) and is the best in the world until (problem) causes him to fall from grace. Watch as he works back to the top of his game. He even sings (title of a song) and says the line "I will (do something uncomfortable) to your face." Watch for a cameo from (other member of the frat pack).

As far as the Will Ferrell plays sports genre goes, Simi Pro falls on the lower end of the scale. This time the sport is basket ball and the movie is set in the 70s to give Ferrel an excuse to have his hair big and his shorts small. If you loved Blades of Glory and Talladega Nights then you will probably have a good idea of what this movie is willing to offer. However, even then you might want to be prepared for disappointment.

At this point even Ferrell sees to realize that he seems to be making the same movie over and over again and wonders whats the point here when they could just go watch Talladega Nights again. At least then Ferrell looked dedicated to the character. Even the movie seems to forget that he is the main character every now and then, focusing instead on Woody Harrelson, who seems to not realize that he is in a comedy, as he pines for an old flame.

Ferrell still says lines that will probably end up on T-shirts, (If You have a small child use it as a shield)and is willing to have the camera pointed directly at his crotch, but the movie will probably end up in a Best of Will Ferrell collection a few years down the road and you can wait until then.

Die Hard: Vendetta (2002 Video Game)

a good enough shooter

[3 December 2007]

Die Hard Vendetta serves as a Sequel to the Die Hard Trilogy and tells of the continuing troubles of John McClane. (though it is no longer considered a part of the story because it doesn't fit into the the story of Live Free or Die Hard) The Gameplay is actually quite fun though it's not a huge difference from the other hundreds of first person shooters out there. It tries to distance itself by adding several puzzle elements and stelth levels but that usually ends up being annoying when you want to burn off steam by shooting lots of bad guys in a row. the story is compelling enough and the graphics while fairly weak in the cut scenes are actually pretty good when it comes to the actual game play. and at the end of the day is still got a Die Hard stamp which has to count for something. While it sure isn't the next Goldeneye when you actually get to shoot its quite fun to go into hero mode and go into a field with a hundred bad guys shooting at you guns blazing. ( you do get lots of bullets so that never turns into a problem)

Shrek the Halls (2007 TV Short)

a sigh if relief

[2 December 2007]

I have to say that i was holding my breath when I sat down to watch this. I wanted so much to like it but everything pointed to this being a total disaster. First off Christmas specials are rarely on the caliber of Charlie Brown Christmas and are usually closer to The Star Wars Holiday Special. Add on the fact that the last Shrek movie was nowhere near as good as the first two. Having now seen it I can say that there is hope for the Shrek series yet. Shrek The Halls tells the story of Shrek learning about Christmas. Now that the big green guy has a family, he wants to give them the best Christmas ever, but he doesn't know how. but with the help of donkey and puss in boots and the rest of the gang, he learns in a trial and error type of way that one can only find in a Shrek story. This cute little half an hour special has really restored my faith in both the Shrek series and Christmas specials in general. that may seem way to dramatic but if Shrek the Halls can pull it of then maybe there is hope for the ones yet to come.

Dorm Daze (2003)

Better than I could have ever possibly hoped

[7/10 · 18 November 2007]

Let me first say that the name National Lampoon tends to send me running, screaming in the opposite direction. What was once a title that would give us comedy such as Animal House and the early installments in the Vacation series is now reduced to Van Wilder, Barley Legal, and Pledge This. So When I fired up the DVD player to watch Dorm Daze I thought I was getting into more of the same. However I can say that I was thrilled to find myself actually laughing out loud on several occasions during the movie. The story of Dorm Daze all takes place in about six hours when a bag of money gets mistakenly mailed to a girl in the dorm. Also a hooker and a foreign exchange student both named Dominique come to the dorm for different reasons. What ensues is a process of mistaken identity and mayhem as everyone in the dorm tries to get their hands on the money. In a series of way to convenient coincidences things get more and more out of hand as more and more people are involved in the chase. In a way Dorm Daze is like a throwback to the old madcap comedies such as What's Up Doc and It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World. It's hard to follow but its still fun to sit back and enjoy the ride. It's nice to see National Lampoon have one last decent movie to show what can happen when the actually try.

Mississippi Burning (1988)

A great MOVIE. (but just a movie)

[18 November 2007]

1n 1964 three civil rights activists disappeared in Mississippi and the FBI was called in to investigate the disappearances. Up until this point I could be describing both actual events and the plot of Mississippi Burning but that is really about all of the similarities that there are between the two. Mississippi Burning is a great movie all in itself. The acting is superb from the two lead actors, especially on Willem Dafoe's part. (Though Gene Hackman was the one nominated for an Oscar) The movie tells a powerful story about racism and hatred in the south during the sixties. The story is engaging and the characters are convincing. However this movie cannot be considered in any way to be historically accurate. Many things were thrown into the story to make it a better movie despite their lacking in accuracy. For example the two FBI agents are portrayed as one being a by the book agent and the other being a down and dirty street smart kind of guy. An excellent selling point for a buddy cop formula but unrealistic. There is also an added character that never existed but was a black character that helped the FBI in the interrogations so that the heroes of this anti-racist movie would not all be white. This is not to say that Mississippi is anything short of excellent. But watch it for it's entertainment value, not it's historical accuracy.

Borat (2006)

Not the perfect comedy but not the worst one either.

[6/10 · 29 August 2007]

Most people that you talk to will be on either extreme when it comes to Borat. They will either be throughly discussed that such a movie was ever made or they will hail it for its perfect comedy and wonderful situations. To be completely far, neither of these people are right. Borat is as quotable as Airplane or The Holy Grail but the film itself is nowhere near what those films are. Brorat quotes are more like Napoleon Dynamite Quotes. If you want to think that there funny then you will but if you want to be offended then you will. At the same time though Borat is not the to crude to be funny movie that the other people have been calling it. yes some scenes are crude. Some jokes are too crude to be funny for some people. There are varying levels of crude jokes and just as many of them hit as miss. Borat in short is made up entirely of trailer jokes. Jokes that don't carry a movie but are funny enough to make people see the movie.

Sweet 15 (1990 TV Movie)

Have you ever laughed at the serious parts of a movie?

[2/10 · 29 August 2007]

Sweet 15 It tells the story of a girl about to turn 15 years old (which is as important as 16 is for American girls) and having to face the realities of life. Problems turn up with her father who is having problems at work and she meets a new boy from the wrong side of the tracks. I'm sorry to say that it really cant be summed up any better than that. The problems in the movie come from it just being too silly to take seriously. The movie treats itself like an epic instead of a forgotten movie seen only in high school classrooms. That is where I first saw the movie and my classmates loved every second of watching it, but for all the wrong reasons. Sweet 15 sets itself up to be knocked down and high school students just wont waist an opportunity like that.

Pledge This! (2006)

No Rating lower than a one

[1/10 · 8 May 2007]

I have often used the phrase the worst movie I have ever seen when describing a movie that I did not enjoy. That was until I saw Pledge This. ever since then I have been unable to say worst movie ever because I know that it wasn't as bad as this one. Ill admit I thought I knew what I was getting into when I saw this movie. I knew that it was National Lampoon and how that name no longer means what it did in the 70s and 80s. I knew that it was staring Paris Hilton so that I shouldn't really expect anything majestic. But I thought that it would be a more or less fun 90 minutes if i wanted to watch a simple brainless sex comedy with lots of fart jokes. Boy was I wrong. There is nothing good about this movie. Not the story obviously or the acting. But I was almost stunned to see how bad the rest of the movie was. It was poorly edited, the quality was awful. One whole scene took place in a white room and the walls were so bright that I couldn't even see the characters. (unfortunatly I was still able to hear what was being said.) Now I'm not the type of person to normally go around bashing movies without reason. But I almost feel that I cant review this movie other than to repeat that it was bad bad bad. I planned to end this by saying that you should see it just to put every other movie you ever saw into perspective but I've decided that I couldn't even suggest you do that.

The Year Without a Santa Claus (2006 TV Movie)

Either the Next Holiday Classic or the Next Holiday Disaster

[4/10 · 12 December 2006]

This movie is going to go one of two ways, it will either become a treasured holiday classic and in thirty years film buffs will be the only ones to say "Did you know that there was and original cartoon?" Or it will be quickly forgotten and gain a reputation of the worst Christmas movie idea since Santa Claus Conquers the Martins. and then in thirty years film buffs will say "Did you know that the was a really bad live action version?" every time someone mentions the classic. Now is a chance, before the movie's reputation is sealed to say that this movie is almost right down the middle. This movie tries so hard to be heartwarming, adding in Family problems with the sure fire dad that is always too busy for his kids. Also added in is Sparky Santas elf who wants Christmas to keep up with the times. In fact besides the very very basic plot (Jingle and Jangle go to find Christmas Spirit) this movie takes true liberties with what it is given. The Miser brothers seem almost in the story because they were in the first one. They sing their song in their first appearance in the film, it seems almost to get out of the way. And to be honest, most people are going to watch this movie because the loved the miser song from the first one. And I would have been among the rioters if that had not been in the movie but it didn't fit into this story as it did into the first one. The casting on the other had was next to perfect. John Goodman was born to be Santa and its high time that someone in Hollywood saw that. And Chris Kattan had me laughing out loud in several places. And while this cant replace the original classic, I feel that if it does end up being a bit of film buff trivia then future generations will be missing an enjoyable two hours.

Debil Dead (2004)

Everything that it should be

[8/10 · 9 December 2006]

Debil Dead is quite simply a fight between the "Last Immortal Warrior" (Conner Mcleod from Highlander) and the "greatest zombie killer ever" (Ash from Evil Dead.) Because it is only three minutes there is no time for a storyline. Other than one line ("there can only be one of us") there is no explanation as to why the two of them are fighting. So the two characters simply meet and fight to the death. fighting in both and ally and then going to the evil woods gives both characters a home court advantage. Also look for a cameo from Blade, Leatherface and Bruce Willis .Done with clay animation it ends up looking like a Wallace and Gromit shot except with excess blood. Just sit back and enjoy.

The Man Who Would Be King (1975)

Impossible to say anything bad about it

[7/10 · 21 October 2006]

Is it really possible to hate a movie like The Man Who Would Be King? While it is understandable that it may not be your favorite movie, you just can't help enjoying at least some parts of the movie. At the same time nothing stands out about The Man Who Would Be King. The acting, directing, and story, all good, but none of them stand out as defining or extremely memorable. But this movie is still remembered and praised over thirty years later. Why is that? It's because, while nothing about The Man Who Would Be King excels, nothing about it is bad either.

Told through a flashback, the man who would be king tells the story of two con men, played by Michael Cane and Sean Connery, who decide to con an entire country for its wealth wealth. After tracking across deserts and frozen mountain peaks, the two men come to the fictional country of Kafiristan, which is made up of about thirty warring tribes. After picking one of the tribes they began to train the natives to fight the other tribes with the intent of eventually taking over and unifying the entire country. However one of the men, Daniel Dravot (Connery), survives an arrow shot in battle and is mistaken for a god. Using this newfound advantage the two Englishmen began to take control of the entire country. The story is interesting and told well enough that the viewer does not get bored watching it, yet at the same time the turn of event throughout the movie feel almost inevitable. Its like reading a mystery aimed for young readers where and older and more advanced reader has spotted the fairly obvious clues and solved the mystery by chapter four.

The choice of putting Connery and Caine together for this movie seems like an unusual choice but was an undeniably successful one. Film critics have compared their teaming up to that of others such as Robert Redford and Paul Newman. Connery and Caine play very different characters that feel like they should be conflicting with each other but instead each seems to complement the other nicely. Connery is reserved and stone faced through out the movie. Confident in his beliefs and determined to get them Connery pulls of the character so quietly that you can almost forget that you are watching Sean Connery on the screen. Michael Caine is another story altogether. Loud, crass, rebellious and fun loving, Caine's character of Peachy Carnehan almost seems like a young boy trapped inside an mans body. Throughout the movie Caine is the one who speaks back to authority and makes witty remarks to everyone that he meets. Both actor's strongest moment is in the same scene when they are arguing, and ironically the almost seem to be playing each other. Connery, while still quiet and stone faced wants to say where he is enjoying life, and Caine while still being a loud and crass character plays the more mature one who recognizes that they both need to leave.

If there is one thing that can be considered epic about The Man Who Would Be King, it is the stunning scenery that is shown throughout the movie. Wide shots that show extensive deserts can take the audiences breath away with the raw beauty that is captured on footage. During a sequence where the heroes attempt to cross a mountain range, there is almost a montage of still clips of jagged cliffs and snow capped mountain peaks. Combining this sequence with almost the perfect music, it is one of the most captivating things in the entire movie. Even when majestic landscapes weren't being shown, the scenery was still captivating. The opening shots are of a market place in India, and while I knew ahead of time that they were actually filmed in morocco it had me believing that I was seeing an authentic Indian marketplace.

Set in the 1800s this movie takes place around the end of British exploration and colonization. While the political message is subtle, it does seem to stand against colonization. The Man Who Would Be King shows all of the negative effect that come about by forcing a modern society onto an uncivilized people. Rudyard Kipling, the writer of the original short story was very much in love with the wild and the unknown that was left in the world and probably felt that the colonization of the British was taking away what unknown was left. Director John Huston had long been a fan of the original short story by Kipling and had wanted to make a movie of it for some time. In fact he had gotten the rights to the story early in the 50s hoping to use other actors. When he tried to get Paul Newman, who he had worked with in The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean, to be in the movie, it was Newman who suggested using Connery and Caine.

All in all, The Man Who Would Be King is a memorable movie. It does not inspire you or make any shocking political statement but it does thoroughly entertain you for two hours. Fifty years from now, Film historians will probably not look back on it and say that it was one of the most defining movies of our time. But fifty years from now they will probably still know what it is.

Birdman of Alcatraz (1962)

Another true story.

[6/10 · 19 October 2006]

If a movie is based on a true story does that automatically make it good? It seems that Hollywood has been hoping so for many of their movies. All of these movies are almost the exact same, a hero who faces unfair odds in order to achieve happiness. It's the same idea as almost every other movie but producers are hoping that we will cheer extra hard for these heroes because they were real people. Birdman of Alcatraz wasn't a bad movie but still felt formulaic and predictable.

Birdman of Alcatraz tells the story of Robert Stroud, (played by Burt Lancaster) a prisoner who seems determined to disobey the rules just to be a pain to authority. One day Stroud finds a baby bird outside in the prison courtyard and decides to take care of it. Because he has nothing better to do with his time, he starts to train the bird to do all sorts of tricks. The bird becomes popular with all the other inmates who began to receive birds as well. Amongst these inmates is Feto Gomez, played by Telly Savalaz, the inmate who lives in the neighboring cell to Robert Stroud. However, few inmates are up to the task of caring for birds and most turn to Stroud. Through a process of trial and error Stroud eventually becomes the worlds leading expert in birds. However, eventually, and complete unsurprisingly he has to constantly fight the system in order to be happy.

While Birdman of Alcatraz told a strong story and tried to tell it in the best possible way, there seemed to be no way around the almost painful predictability of it. Viewers will feel so familiar with the story that even as they watch the movie for the first time they will feel that they can quote the lines right along with the actors.

The actors do try their hardest to breathe life into their respective characters. Lancaster's portrayal of Stroud is especially impressive. He is able to cause the audience to feel sorry for his character and cheer for him over the prison guards even though we see Stroud kill a man at the beginning of the movie. Other impressive performances include Karl Malden as Harvey Shoemaker, The warden of the jails that Stroud stays in, and Thelma Ritter who played Robert Stroud's mother Elizabeth Stroud.

Though Birdman of Alcatraz feels formulaic, it was well liked by critics and audiences alike in 1962, the year it first came out. In fact the movie was nominated for four Oscars, in Best Actor (Burt Lancaster), Best Actress (Elizabeth Stroud) Best Supporting Actor (Telly Savalas), and Best Cinematography in a black and white film. However, it failed to win any of the awards. Nevertheless, Savala's nomination was the most beneficial launching him into super stardom and allowing him to be considered for later roles including his most famous one, the detective Kojak.

An interesting thing that Birdman of Alcatraz did however was have the movie shot in black and white rather than in color. This technique added to the drab feel that the audiences got when looking at a bare cell where Stroud lived. Added to this was an interesting use of camera angles. For instance during a scene where a character is drunk, the camera tilts to give the audience a feeling of drunkenness too. And when Stroud is lying defeated on the floor of his cell, the camera is also low to the ground to give the audience a feeling of defeat and depression that Stroud was feeling at the moment.

While Birdman of Alcatraz is predictable, that does not make it a bad movie. The characters are realistic enough that viewers will be drawn into the story and cheer for the hero. It is also contains very memorable moments of cinematography that, while it they may not make the movie worth owning, they are worth viewing at least once.

The Devil Wears Prada (2006)

Really just an excuse to show off some really great clothing

[6/10 · 2 July 2006]

The Devil Wears Prada tells the story of Andy, a young reporter who lands a dream job working for Miranda at Runway, the best fashion magazine in New York. Although it is said numerous times in the movie "a million girls would kill for this job," Andy is not sure that she wants it. Here lies the first flaw of many thorough the movie. We are never told how Andy, a girl with no fashion sense whatsoever has been pushed to the top of the pile of candidates for the job. Yet we have to accept this and an expected turn of events if we are to make since out of the rest of the movie. The story is so cookie cutter that an audience could probably quote the characters along with the movie having never seen it before. Prada is also filled with outrageous coincidences in order to keep the story moving. (At least 4 in one span of 5 minutes) But a predictable story line does not always make for a bad movie. This movie is worth seeing for two reasons: the cloths and Meryl Streep.

This movie is a fashion designers dream come true. If you love fashion, clothing, shopping, are a girl, or like to wear any cloths at all in public then this movie's wardrobe is a feast for the eyes. Anne Hathaway changes costumes like Amadala from Star Wars in this movie except she manages to make each and every outfit look more stunning than the last. Plus there is a scene where Andy walks into a massive closet stocked full of designer cloths that will make teenage girls squeal with joy.

My personal favorite reason that I recommend this movie however is the performance given by Meryl Streep. Here portrayal of the ice queen of fashion is worth 4 of the 6 stars that I gave to this movie. If you don't get to this one in theaters then at least rent it to see Streep in all of here glory. You're in for a treat.

Army of Darkness (1992)

Ash is the Heart of Evil Dead

[7/10 · 1 April 2006]

Whether you watch the entire trilogy every month or only watched this movie because a friend made you, you can pretty much agree that the thing that is really driving the movies is the character of Ash. At the beginning of the story Ash is the calm simple person that we all are (the S-mart employee in this movie) but as the story progresses, he transforms into the chainsaw wielding ultimate badass with a sawed off shotgun that we all wish we could be. The character of Ash is in his prime from the point he says Groovy in Evil Dead 2 until the point he says Groovy in Army of Darkness when he replaces his chainsaw with a metallic hand. The chainsaw hand and the sawed off shotgun are a large part of the character of Ash. So why does Sam Rami decide to give Ash his hand back and make him fight with medieval weapons in Army of Darkness. With out the Ash from the first Evil Dead movies, Army of Darkness seems to be almost a different genre of movie. The final battle seems to be more like Jason and the Argonauts than Evil Dead. Still the movie is not without its moments. The first encounter between Ash and Badash one of my most memorable. (This one actually does involve the use of a shotgun) Also everyone knows the Boomstick line. (I went to high school with kids who could recite the entire monologue) All in all the film is a good one. It is very funny and deserves the cult status that it has achieved in this day and age. Although I personally wanted to see more of Ash in action, I guess I will just have to pray for Evil Dead 4.

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995)

It just ain't the first one

[4/10 · 23 February 2006]

The first Ace Ventura is a great milestone in American Cinima History. Not because it was a classic movie but it introduced Americans to Jim Carrey. Watching Jim's Crazy antics in Pet Detective I decided that I would watch everything that he is ever in. Oh how I regretted that as I watched When Nature Calls. Jim does his best to make the movie funny and he almost succeeded. He uses his rubber face at comic timing to the full extent and almost pulls off another cute, silly, fun movie. But the script seems to be working against Jim throughout the entire movie. Ace was such a funny character in the first movie because he was so out of place living in the city. But this new movie puts Ace in the jungle right where he belongs. Ace looks more in place picking nits off of monkeys that he ever did driving a car. Ace does everything you would expect from the first one but this time there is nobody standing in the background looking appalled. Courteney Cox, who was very funny at trying to get Ace to act human has been replaced by an African Princess who seems to accept Ace for who he is. That is not to say that the film doesn't have its moments. The temple stairs and the Slinky scene is still one of Jim Carrey's better scenes from all of his movies. But, alas these scenes are to few and far apart to make this movie worthy of it's predecessor.