esandor Reviews

Whale Rider (2002)

the perfect antidote to heavy-handed Hollywood symbolism!

[21 March 2005]

Whale Rider gets two big canoe paddles up from me for the beautiful, refreshing way it redeems the use of symbolism from the garbage dump of hackneyed cinematic conventions.

Most movies have symbolism--heavy, cloying, we'll-do-the-thinking-for you symbolism in which Meaningful (with a capital M!) looks between characters, Meaningfully slow close-ups on Meaningful objects, repetition of Meaningful phrases or what have you are a dime a dozen--and usually accompanied by overt, Meaningful music.

Whale Rider steers clear of this pap. Yes, it has symbolism. But it's light and skillful: nothing is tediously explained to the audience, then repeated at a "critical" moment. No character utters a line so turgid with Meaning that it makes you groan. When a symbol does appear, it is gently soft-pedaled before it intrudes on the story.

Movie fans should keep a copy of Whale Rider around as a home remedy for cloying, pretentious symbolism. If, say, you have the misfortune to watch part of "Powder", immediately insert this DVD and sit back while it removes the sticky gunk from your mind. Ahhhh. Perfect.

Funny Face (1957)

I expected so much more

[4/10 · 19 January 2005]

Audrey Hepburn AND Fred Astaire?! Good golly, I was expecting so much more.

My husband and I settled down in front of the tube awaiting a gloriously dance- filled "Roman Holiday", or something like that. Wow, it was going to be full of Gershwin tunes! And the costumes were going to be great, too--all by the legendary Edith Head.

Unfortunately, we were disappointed in every way. From the completely chemistry-free love story (yeah, right) , to the unsuccessful caterpillar-turns butterfly story (um, hello...Audrey is supposed to be a "funny" looking girl, not model material? Gimme a break), to the unmemorable songs (" 'S Wonderful" was the only good one), to the weird leaping-about stylings of Fred's dancing (come on!! You can do SO much better!), to, finally, the awful wedding dress that made even beautiful Audrey Hepburn look dumb (my husband finally burst out, "Jeez!! Lose the gym shoes and tutu!!").

The only good parts were Audrey's beatnik dance and multiple shots of a vintage Constellation airliner (hubby is an airplane buff). If you're thinking of seeing this, do yourself a favor and get "My Fair Lady" and some Fred&Ginger movie instead.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force (2000–2023)

Just the laughs, ma'am

[20 December 2004]

If you just want to laugh and laugh at some of the most joke-packed dialogue on TV today--and you don't care whether any of it makes sense--then you'll love ATHF.

The writers don't waste time explaining why the characters are food or what "Aqua Teen" even means. They don't try to tie up plot threads, illuminate the backstory, or even have the characters leave their neighborhood to fight crimes as depicted in the opening and closing credits. None of that is necessary. Instead, they just bring us a stripped-down, personality-driven yukfest that shows encumbered with the usual baggage simply can't match.

ATHF meets---nay, far exceeds!---my personal gold standard for comedy: that the jokes should not only be funny, but be ones I couldn't possibly have thought up for myself, and that there not be a moment's lag time between them.

Watching it is like eating potato chips (um, guess I mean fries) of pure, mindless laughter. ENJOY!

The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)

Not really a comedy!

[18 October 2004]

The main problem I had with this movie is that so many people told me it was

"hilarious". I'm not sure why anyone would use that description. In my book, this is the second example I've seen ("Nurse Betty" was the first) of a budding new genre that is 180 degrees opposite from black comedy: it is a sparkly, cuddly pastel tragedy.

If you don't come into it expecting fun, you may find yourself swept away in the loving-hating, witty, odd and visually beautiful world of this film.

Think"Rushmore", but with the silly/sad proportions of that movie reversed.

From Here to Eternity (1953)

"Pearl Harbor" wanted to be this...

[17 April 2003]

...a tale of tempestuous love affairs, set against the backdrop of an Army base in Hawaii. It really is more of a melodrama than a war movie.

Far from being a sappy-sweet weeper, this movie derives great power from the perverse bitterness of its characters' lives and loves. ((SPOILER ALERT!!))

You'll watch, morbidly fascinated, as the extremely efficient, respectable, physically-and-mentally-fit Sgt. Warden seduces his bumbling CO's slutty wife...and as the multi-talented, handsome loner Pvt. Prewitt apparently doesn't know any better than to fall in love with a whorehouse "hostess". Meantime there is plenty of Cool-Hand-Luke style psychotorture, Frank Sinatra as a likeable sidekick, an actually pretty good song, copious sloppy drunkenness and, last but not least, the ominous knowledge (on our part) that these guys have no idea what's about to hit them on Dec. 7.

My only complaint was that, at times, the dialogue was a bit stagey (the CO's wife when the Sgt. visits her at home, for example)...but by the end you'll have forgotten all that. This movie, and its beautifully wretched characters, will certainly stick in your mind.

Lilo & Stitch (2002)

IGNORE anyone who doesn't like it! They're outta their mind!

[21 June 2002]

I just got back from the movie and it was FANTASTIC. I speak as an artist and longtime character-design fan. Stitch alone--his rapid, dangerous-looking movement, the construction of his amazingly expressive and yet pupil-less eyes, the sounds he makes and the effortless way he plows through, rips up and bites things much larger than himself--is worth the price of admission.

Some reviewers for fairly major papers (Atlanta Journal-Constitution comes to mind) have chosen to pooh-pooh this movie for no discernible reason. Some whine that the animation was "dismal". Earth to them: you have NO idea what you're talking about. Just what *do* you consider good animation? Or that the story was "derivative". Excuse me, nothing exists in a vacuum. This movie was WAY more original than 90% of the other movies out there (ummm, wonder if that critic thinks all the old-tv-show-remake movies are great cinema?!). Or that it was "a kiddie movie that needs Ritalin and a decent script"?! Well, news flash: it's really not a kiddie movie, and this was the only "kiddie" script I've seen that dares to give us as a heroine a troubled, lonesome little girl (and her troubled, lonesome "broken little family").

If you truly enjoy animated films...IGNORE these taste-free, small-minded individuals and enjoy "Lilo and Stitch" for its refreshing character designs, beautiful watercolor paintings used as backgrounds, and best of all the cleverly realized, well-rendered movements of the characters. Also, its lack of sappiness, smarminess or gratuitous anything. It's well done across the board--a rare treat that some people, apparently, haven't got the sense to appreciate.

Dr. Dolittle 2 (2001)

One silly mistake has bugged me since I saw it...

[13 March 2002]

"Dr Doolittle 2" was OK for what it was...a cute way to pass a Saturday afternoon. But one simple, nitpicking detail that bugged me has stuck with me much longer than the memory of the actual film: in one scene, Dr. Doolittle refers to the Possum as "a rodent". MAN! Did they not have *anyone* checking facts on this movie? Any kid who likes animals can tell you that a possum isn't a rodent. It made the good doctor look incompetent...I mean, he's supposed to know everything about animals and then some. Otherwise, I liked the voice of Pepito the chameleon. Something about his "so young...so angry..." speech still makes me laugh. But I guess it just bothers me when filmmakers don't bother to check up on simple facts, and assume that the audience is so stupid that they won't notice the mistake. We're not, we do, and it does make a difference.