I saw this movie out of boredom and, well, I can't say I wasn't entertained. The combination of unsynchronized audio/visual, the acting, and special effects made me want to watch it over and over again. Indeed, I know little to nothing about movie editing, but after watching this I began to appreciate just how difficult it is to match audio/visual. And, I can imagine how much more difficult it is to make it appear as if a hawk or mouse is talking, even if there is no need show lip movements. I say this is one of the few movies that I can't compare to any other movies. While most motion pictures get boring after watching them repeatedly, I get the same kick out of this film as I got when I first watched it. And, so I give it my rating of three stars, for a funny movie that I can watch with anyone, anytime, and will always receive the same reaction: Why did you buy this?
44 Reviews
Bargain bin movies are $6 for a reason
broken_phoenix200220 June 2004
I went to Wal-Mart and as I usually do purchased some b-movies. This particular one caught my eye because I love fantasy and science fiction. Little did I know that this film would be so painfully bad.
The plot centers around a boy who is given a book of magic spells one day from a friend. After receiving this book he enters a magical fairy world filled with elves, trolls and annoying mice that won't stop laughing. In this world the lord of the Unseelee(sp) court is bent on capturing a series of magic rings and conquering the peaceful forest-dwelling seelee of the Bluebell forest. As usual there is a single great champion prophesied to defeat the evil unseelee and save the peaceful Bluebells, yeah that would be Max.
It seems nobody in the 'Real world' is played by an actor with any actual acting talent. The characters, especially the main villain, are so annoying that halfway through the movie you'll wish that you were deaf. The king of the bad guys as a matter of fact has this annoying goat-like "bah" that he says like every 3 seconds. And that stupid mouse wont quit laughing. The script is absolutely awful with dialogue that will surely embarrass anyone watching the movie. After all you could never admit to watching Max Magician and retain a shred of dignity. And boy is that main villain dumb. So dumb in fact that his loyal servant Fetch seems to realize from time to time how inept his master truly is. Fetch however does not seem to be smart enough to ditch old goat head form greener pastures.
The movies only up-side is that it has excellent make-up work. All the gnarly faces are suitably fantasy-like and do not hide or hinder the actors' eyes or mouths. And Erika Ann who plays Princess Etain is cute as button with her pointy elf ears.
This does not save this highly mediocre film however.
The plot centers around a boy who is given a book of magic spells one day from a friend. After receiving this book he enters a magical fairy world filled with elves, trolls and annoying mice that won't stop laughing. In this world the lord of the Unseelee(sp) court is bent on capturing a series of magic rings and conquering the peaceful forest-dwelling seelee of the Bluebell forest. As usual there is a single great champion prophesied to defeat the evil unseelee and save the peaceful Bluebells, yeah that would be Max.
It seems nobody in the 'Real world' is played by an actor with any actual acting talent. The characters, especially the main villain, are so annoying that halfway through the movie you'll wish that you were deaf. The king of the bad guys as a matter of fact has this annoying goat-like "bah" that he says like every 3 seconds. And that stupid mouse wont quit laughing. The script is absolutely awful with dialogue that will surely embarrass anyone watching the movie. After all you could never admit to watching Max Magician and retain a shred of dignity. And boy is that main villain dumb. So dumb in fact that his loyal servant Fetch seems to realize from time to time how inept his master truly is. Fetch however does not seem to be smart enough to ditch old goat head form greener pastures.
The movies only up-side is that it has excellent make-up work. All the gnarly faces are suitably fantasy-like and do not hide or hinder the actors' eyes or mouths. And Erika Ann who plays Princess Etain is cute as button with her pointy elf ears.
This does not save this highly mediocre film however.
Good for children
FishWater998 February 2004
I bought this for my 5 year old and he loves it. The acting is pretty awful and it's quite painful to sit through as an adult. However, it's your classic good vs. evil fantasy plot. There's no foul language and the violence is mild and fantasy-like. If your child likes Harry Potter/Lord of the Rings type movies, pick it up. You can typically find it in discount bins at super stores.
Altogether the most horrible and at the same time hilarious movie ever made
gummidemilo_5315 February 2004
Max Magician and the Legend of the Rings is the most fantastic movie I've ever seen, for a number of reasons. Most importantly, the cast, crew, director, make-up "artists", cinematographers all take the movie in complete seriousness. This is remarkable considering the abysmal quality of the line delivery, horrible costumes, EXCEEDINGLY AWFUL script, and absolute lack of skill and knowledge of the craft of film on the part of everyone involved. All these factors combined, however, makes this film a masterpiece of late-night heckling material. My friends and I bought this for $5.50 at the Wal-Mart Bargain Bin, and the investment more than paid off in side-splitting laughs of disbelief.
Max Magician is a middle-class suburban kid with no friends, but a penchant for the magical arts. He has a creepy pedophile neighbor, Mr. Tim, who at one time was a great wizard (apparently) and gives young Max guidance to "achieve his destiny." He gives Max a poorly-constructed "magic book" which allows him entry into the fantastical world of Bluebell Forest. Max is the "savior" of the village that is being tyrannized by Lord Dadga (the worst actor in the history of cinema). He meets all sorts of ridiculous characters, who deliver absurd dialogue with no knowledge of delivery. At the end he saves the village by using his magic book to summon knights out of the ground.
It's necessary to reiterate that there is not a single saving grace in this film except for the (highly unintentional) comedic implications. Every solitary aspect is done with the least skill and least amount of cinematic expertise possible. The script skips from scene to scene, introduces new "plot elements" which had never been alluded to and are now apparently crucial to the "story". The dialogue is cliched and nonsensical. The characterization is ungodly predictable where not non-existent. The characters take long, painful pauses between lines. The entire soundtrack was redubbed and the dialogue very seldom matches up with the mouths moving. The props are pathetic (the "propmaster" on the "behind the scenes" feature shows a battle hammer which was made from a foam swimming toy.) Occasionally we see extras walking around in the background. The foley work is perhaps the funniest part of the movie, as sometimes the background sound of birds will cut out altogether, voices will cut out in the middle of lines, and giant "swooshes" are used for characters getting out of chairs -- the same sound over and over again.
Which brings us to the acting. There is not a single actor with previous experience (except Tom Tit Tot, who is still one of the worst) and it shows more than you would think possible. Of course they get no help from the script, but this is the single worst ensemble of amateur actors ever put together. I can honestly say that with very little doubt. For this reason alone it's probably worth investing in to appreciate just how bad something can be. Only buy Max Magician, even for $5, if you want to truly understand the meaning of "awful" and wish to have many a laugh at the film's expense. If you buy this to entertain your children you may taint their appreciation of art and cinema from a young age. No young person deserves that.
Max Magician is a middle-class suburban kid with no friends, but a penchant for the magical arts. He has a creepy pedophile neighbor, Mr. Tim, who at one time was a great wizard (apparently) and gives young Max guidance to "achieve his destiny." He gives Max a poorly-constructed "magic book" which allows him entry into the fantastical world of Bluebell Forest. Max is the "savior" of the village that is being tyrannized by Lord Dadga (the worst actor in the history of cinema). He meets all sorts of ridiculous characters, who deliver absurd dialogue with no knowledge of delivery. At the end he saves the village by using his magic book to summon knights out of the ground.
It's necessary to reiterate that there is not a single saving grace in this film except for the (highly unintentional) comedic implications. Every solitary aspect is done with the least skill and least amount of cinematic expertise possible. The script skips from scene to scene, introduces new "plot elements" which had never been alluded to and are now apparently crucial to the "story". The dialogue is cliched and nonsensical. The characterization is ungodly predictable where not non-existent. The characters take long, painful pauses between lines. The entire soundtrack was redubbed and the dialogue very seldom matches up with the mouths moving. The props are pathetic (the "propmaster" on the "behind the scenes" feature shows a battle hammer which was made from a foam swimming toy.) Occasionally we see extras walking around in the background. The foley work is perhaps the funniest part of the movie, as sometimes the background sound of birds will cut out altogether, voices will cut out in the middle of lines, and giant "swooshes" are used for characters getting out of chairs -- the same sound over and over again.
Which brings us to the acting. There is not a single actor with previous experience (except Tom Tit Tot, who is still one of the worst) and it shows more than you would think possible. Of course they get no help from the script, but this is the single worst ensemble of amateur actors ever put together. I can honestly say that with very little doubt. For this reason alone it's probably worth investing in to appreciate just how bad something can be. Only buy Max Magician, even for $5, if you want to truly understand the meaning of "awful" and wish to have many a laugh at the film's expense. If you buy this to entertain your children you may taint their appreciation of art and cinema from a young age. No young person deserves that.
worst movie ever...
nickandsuzgleason3 January 2005
...but, one of the most enjoyable movie-watching experiences ever! We watched it the other night and I almost peed my pants.
Yet, I have to ask, why was this movie made? Even though it looks like they only spent about $50.00 to make it, there is no way it could have made money. And, it's not like it is a contribution to cinema. The paper that the script was written on would have been put to better use in a gas station bathroom than actually using it to make a movie. Who thought it would be a good idea to have a character that spoke in stupid rhymes (Tom Tit Tot)? Did anyone else notice that they were too embarrassed to admit that the same "actress" played both the parts of the elf queen and Max's Mom? They credited "Jack Baker" as playing the elf queen. How ridiculous! That said, I just bought it on e-bay for $1.99, so I'll be watching it over and over again for years to come and subjecting all my friends to it.
Yet, I have to ask, why was this movie made? Even though it looks like they only spent about $50.00 to make it, there is no way it could have made money. And, it's not like it is a contribution to cinema. The paper that the script was written on would have been put to better use in a gas station bathroom than actually using it to make a movie. Who thought it would be a good idea to have a character that spoke in stupid rhymes (Tom Tit Tot)? Did anyone else notice that they were too embarrassed to admit that the same "actress" played both the parts of the elf queen and Max's Mom? They credited "Jack Baker" as playing the elf queen. How ridiculous! That said, I just bought it on e-bay for $1.99, so I'll be watching it over and over again for years to come and subjecting all my friends to it.
Terrible
DBOn1212 September 2004
This was probably the worst movie ever made. The special effects were terrible. They would show movies of animals and add voice overs to make the animals "speak". The mouths wouldn't move although in some shots they gave the animals food and they were clearly eating to make their mouths move. I don't know what that one person who gave this movie a 10 was thinking. I actually bought this movie because I heard how bad it was to get a good laugh out of it....and I did. The whole movie was clearly revoiced and most of the dialogue didn't match up. I would have given this a 0 but they don't have that rating. I would recommend to find this in the wal-mart bin and buy it and you will laugh yourself to death at the terribleness.
86 minutes I will never get back......
grifon896 August 2004
This was the biggest waste of an hour and a half the I have ever experienced in my life. This was beyond a piece of (you can guess)... In-fact, it was so bad that I can honestly say that it is the worst movie, I repeat THE WORST MOVIE ever put into the bargain bin... I can't believe that the crew that made this "film" (if you can call it that) didn't review it at the end of production and just say to themselves: "Oh wait, never mind I guess it does suck." That really makes me question American talent today and where it is going. AND WHAT'S WITH THE TALKING MOUSE!? If I say anything more about this abomination to modern cinema, I think I just might break something. If you are by some strange stream of events in question about whether or not to purchase this movie, the answer is no!!! I will find you, stalk you down, and lecture you of the modern mechanics of making a decent motion picture you imbecile!!!!!! AHHH!!!! -10/10
Good flick to make fun of.
shampoojones25 August 2004
If you like Mystery Science Theater 3000 then you might be interested in seeing Max Magician and the Legend of the Rings.
You will need a few things to properely make fun of this flick. Here's what you'll need:
1. Max Magician and the Legend of the Rings DVD. You can find this flick at your local Wal-Mart in the discount bin.
2. Some funny friends.
3. A camcorder set-up to record only the screen on your TV. Just use a tri-pod or prop it up so that you are recording what you see on your TV. The reason you do this is so that you can record the film and all the comments you and your frends say. Put the DVD in and hit play. After that, hit record on your camera and start making wise on a film that was shot at an amusement part during the off season. Later, when your friends have died, you can watch your version of the film and enjoy.
What's my favorite part of the movie? The part where the talking mouse and Max Magician smoke pot in Max's room, filling it up with smoke. Well, that's what it looked like to me and my friend. "Do you hear sirens?"
You will need a few things to properely make fun of this flick. Here's what you'll need:
1. Max Magician and the Legend of the Rings DVD. You can find this flick at your local Wal-Mart in the discount bin.
2. Some funny friends.
3. A camcorder set-up to record only the screen on your TV. Just use a tri-pod or prop it up so that you are recording what you see on your TV. The reason you do this is so that you can record the film and all the comments you and your frends say. Put the DVD in and hit play. After that, hit record on your camera and start making wise on a film that was shot at an amusement part during the off season. Later, when your friends have died, you can watch your version of the film and enjoy.
What's my favorite part of the movie? The part where the talking mouse and Max Magician smoke pot in Max's room, filling it up with smoke. Well, that's what it looked like to me and my friend. "Do you hear sirens?"
So this is what Ed Wood would be doing if he were alive today.
jay_04215 February 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Like just about everyone who got this flick, I found it in the Wal-Mart bargain bin, stuck near the bottom with to several copies Howard the Duck. I'm a sucker for a cheap bad movie, so I got it on a whim. I was expecting cheese, I got some really smelly Limburger.
Opening with the two low rent Rennisance Festival Fugitive Elves (with lots of shots of their sneakers cleverly disguised in gunny sacks) running through the forest. Ugly Axe Guy is in pursuit, and throws a long handled battle axe into the back of the RFFE carrying a scroll. RFFE number two picks up the scroll and runs once again. Ugly Axe Guy decides to deal with Number Two with his flail, throwing it with the grace and technical skill of a William Shatner fight scene.
Shatner naturally comes to mind when I see this movie. When Ugly Axe Guy pulls his axe out of the back of the dead Elf, We see that the highly abused elves in this scene happen to have GREEN BLOOD. So, does that mean we're on Vulcan? Elf Number Two is now crawling, apparently he couldn't get his leg untangled from the flail that is loosely wrapped about his foot. He shambles to a conveniently placed door (in the middle of an otherwise uninhabited forest according to the numerous tracking shots in the opening) quickly, Elf Number Two tosses the scroll through the door as Evil Axe Guy brings his might axe down and mercifully leaves the movie for the next 45 minutes.
Then we see the scroll "magically" appearing in a flurry of cheap digital sparkles at the feet of an old gardener who looks sorta like old Obi Wan Kenobi. He picks up the scroll and starts reading, and a young girl's voice-over tells about the ongoing struggle with the UnSeelies in the BlueBell forest and how things look bleak and grim at the moment and how it would be a good time to bring that savior here and all. All the while the scene is cut with pointless closeups of a mouse and a hawk. You expect the hawk is going to swoop down and eat the mouse, and seeing how the mouse starts talking and won't shut up later in the movie, I so desperately wished that was the case. The voice over ends with "Help us, you're our only hope" at which point Sorta Kenobi looks up to the sky and we fade out.
Then things quit making sense....
Seeing how the past few paragraphs represent the first five minutes of this flick, I can tell you it just goes downhill from this point. From the introduction of the villain Dagda (he looks sorta like Tim Curry as Darkness from "Legend" but acts like Tim Curry as Frankenfurter from "Rocky Horror Picture Show") to the big showdown between good and evil (evil being armed with foam rubber hammers) this movie is nothing but a slow, agonizing, descent into cinematic masochism. If it wasn't for the presence of multiple friends to help riff on this movie, there is no way I could sit through it. After showing this, I've had friends refuse to never again let me pick movies for us to watch. This movie is pain, watch it at your discretion.
Opening with the two low rent Rennisance Festival Fugitive Elves (with lots of shots of their sneakers cleverly disguised in gunny sacks) running through the forest. Ugly Axe Guy is in pursuit, and throws a long handled battle axe into the back of the RFFE carrying a scroll. RFFE number two picks up the scroll and runs once again. Ugly Axe Guy decides to deal with Number Two with his flail, throwing it with the grace and technical skill of a William Shatner fight scene.
Shatner naturally comes to mind when I see this movie. When Ugly Axe Guy pulls his axe out of the back of the dead Elf, We see that the highly abused elves in this scene happen to have GREEN BLOOD. So, does that mean we're on Vulcan? Elf Number Two is now crawling, apparently he couldn't get his leg untangled from the flail that is loosely wrapped about his foot. He shambles to a conveniently placed door (in the middle of an otherwise uninhabited forest according to the numerous tracking shots in the opening) quickly, Elf Number Two tosses the scroll through the door as Evil Axe Guy brings his might axe down and mercifully leaves the movie for the next 45 minutes.
Then we see the scroll "magically" appearing in a flurry of cheap digital sparkles at the feet of an old gardener who looks sorta like old Obi Wan Kenobi. He picks up the scroll and starts reading, and a young girl's voice-over tells about the ongoing struggle with the UnSeelies in the BlueBell forest and how things look bleak and grim at the moment and how it would be a good time to bring that savior here and all. All the while the scene is cut with pointless closeups of a mouse and a hawk. You expect the hawk is going to swoop down and eat the mouse, and seeing how the mouse starts talking and won't shut up later in the movie, I so desperately wished that was the case. The voice over ends with "Help us, you're our only hope" at which point Sorta Kenobi looks up to the sky and we fade out.
Then things quit making sense....
Seeing how the past few paragraphs represent the first five minutes of this flick, I can tell you it just goes downhill from this point. From the introduction of the villain Dagda (he looks sorta like Tim Curry as Darkness from "Legend" but acts like Tim Curry as Frankenfurter from "Rocky Horror Picture Show") to the big showdown between good and evil (evil being armed with foam rubber hammers) this movie is nothing but a slow, agonizing, descent into cinematic masochism. If it wasn't for the presence of multiple friends to help riff on this movie, there is no way I could sit through it. After showing this, I've had friends refuse to never again let me pick movies for us to watch. This movie is pain, watch it at your discretion.
Not The worst movie ever.....
IkanoKato10 November 2006
Anyone who claims that this is the worst movie ever has simply not seen enough movies. If you want to see some things that are truly reeking, smelly crap fests, I suggest checking out some of those Brain Damage or York Entertainment horror and/or urban SOV/DTV programmers. Those flicks are so bad, they don't make it past the category of home movie. At least MAX MAGICIAN can boast the fact that it's actually shot on 35mm film, has some decent make-up effects and a professional original score. That said, this film is indeed one of the absolutely lamest films I have ever inflicted on myself. Basically take a standard issue Disney/Family Channel movie, take it down ten notches and remove any all production value and talent and you're left with this turd. Editing is lousy, the cinematography is pedestrian, the writing is laughable and let's not even get started on the acting. Throw in a squad of LARPers and Ren fest refugees and you've got a five car pile up of a movie. It makes you wish MST3K was still on the air because would be a great follow up to FINAL SACRIFICE.
As a parting shot as I must mention the truly abominable special effects. In this day and age when Star wars fan films can boast to having an impressive level of scale and gloss, the only effects this movie can boast of are an occasional matte, a sparkling effect that shows up waaaaay too often, and that reaally tacky effect where you put the camera on a tripod and then start and stop it to make somebody vanish. Lame? You betch your arse!
As a parting shot as I must mention the truly abominable special effects. In this day and age when Star wars fan films can boast to having an impressive level of scale and gloss, the only effects this movie can boast of are an occasional matte, a sparkling effect that shows up waaaaay too often, and that reaally tacky effect where you put the camera on a tripod and then start and stop it to make somebody vanish. Lame? You betch your arse!
Max is given a spell book that lets him into the blue bell forest where he helps to rescue the wood elves from an evil king trying to take over.
ljs00b13 June 2005
Wow! I must say, for five dollars at Wal Mart I have never been so effectively entertained. This is one of the most horrible movies I have ever seen. Oh my. Aside from the blatant commentary on protecting the environment and on anti-weaponry, it really is just bad. The acting is positively terrible, the lines suffering throughout from delayed delivery. The script is really sad, most of it SO cheesy. "What happened to the champion who believed in himself?" My goodness. The costuming, well, let's just say this was a bit of a low budget number. The fight scenes were unfortunate. Now, for a real treat, if you watch the "special features" you'll get a real kick in the butt. They are absolutely serious, they think this movie is wonderful!! They had props (deadly war weapons) that were made out of POOL FLOATIES and DUCT TAPE!! I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. Although, if this is the level of quality that passes as acceptable in the movie industry, perhaps I should become a professional actor and seek out roles in low budget films. I could really go places... This movie is highly entertaining, although not in the good movie sense. It's great however if you want to laugh at the rather sad attempt. Well worth the money spent. Much better than many other investments from the same five dollar bin.
A film to see with friends SPOILERS^_^
animegurl6528 May 2004
Warning: Spoilers
I first saw this movie on a sunny Saturday afternoon.I thought that it was horrible. The only redeeming fact was that the mouse attacked the bad guy and when he was flung away, yelled 'AHHHHHHHHHHHHhhh I Can fly I can FlYY*thump*'Ha ha ha... It's too too funny, now that I have talked my friends into seeing it. There are so many jokes ripe for the plucking in this film. If you see this film and realize that they were dead serious about it, you will see the hilarity. Watching it over and over again, makes me realize that the acting is horrid, the sound makes the b&W movie from 'Singing in the rain'(it was...the dueling cavalier...) look good. Of course, the fact that the bad guy was slain by mice made it seem like a Disney trumps all.. I think that bad movies are the best movies. especially to see with friends!!!^___^
WTF?
greenthegrouch27 March 2004
i've seen better acting / filming / sound / script / etc. in the very cheapest of shoddy porn videos. WHAT THE F*** WAS I THINKING? this movie has better use as a coaster. i'm just glad to know that i'm not the only one who was unlucky enough to see this movie. i don't know if anyone else actually bought the movie (i don't think its one a video store would carry willingly) or has seen the case, but on the very, very bottom of the back, right in the center, it says, "GUARANTEED SUPERIOR QUALITY." Ain't that a kick in the head?
It's NOT the worst movie ever made
rdhathcock7 May 2004
There are MANY home movies that are worse, plus a handful of commercial films that have worse scripts and bad acting. There aren't too many that have worse sound.
On the other hand, remembering that the folks that did this one are a small, local group of aspiring film makers, they didn't do too bad of a job in some areas. The stunt work was fairly good for amateurs, the cinematography was watchable, and some (10%) of the acting was passable. The young gal (she was 16 during production) playing the princess was easily the best.
The real question is how they convinced anyone to distribute their efforts, even in the bargain baskets at WalMart.
The bottom line is I got a few laughs at their expense and my kids will be entertained for a few hours, all for just $5.50. And remember, no mice were injured in the production of this film.
On the other hand, remembering that the folks that did this one are a small, local group of aspiring film makers, they didn't do too bad of a job in some areas. The stunt work was fairly good for amateurs, the cinematography was watchable, and some (10%) of the acting was passable. The young gal (she was 16 during production) playing the princess was easily the best.
The real question is how they convinced anyone to distribute their efforts, even in the bargain baskets at WalMart.
The bottom line is I got a few laughs at their expense and my kids will be entertained for a few hours, all for just $5.50. And remember, no mice were injured in the production of this film.
Are you honestly proud of making this?
ray-jen-kids5 February 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Why would Walmart sell this mindless trash and why would this diarrhea of unimaginative fodder be made? Bargain bin my a**! It should have been in the trash bin! Are the actors and makers of this waste of time, money and effort proud to say that they were involved in this train wreck? Do they tell people that they were in a "feature film"? Really? I mean really? They added a "making of" to this DVD? Like this was supposed to be great. It was a great job at being really stupid. Did I do something that bad that God punished me by letting me stumble across this deformity of film making and watch it? And why does IMDb not give us the option of a negative 10 vote? And my helpless children were victims and witnesses to this s**t stain on the underwear of movie-dom. They cried inconsolably for weeks at what their unsuspecting father had them watch. Cried at what their father was trapped into; a lie of advertising on the cover that read " A fantasy epic in the tradition of Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings". WTF???? If they consider this movie (I use the word movie loosely here)of that tradition, then they must of had a blind retarded kid review it. The writer was so unimaginative that all he could write for the bad guy to say was "Aggggghhhhhh!" and then make him fart. I could invite a certain family member over if I wanted to hear that during a movie. Was that supposed to entertain and delight? And to Mr.Dumb-a**-rhyming-guy here's your creative criticism you asked for: YOU SHOULD NEVER QUIT YOUR DAY JOB AND NEVER "ACT" AGAIN!!!! What other "great" movie have you been in before or since? And to that lady that played the mom and the queen" I would of knocked your butt out a lot harder than that ram toting jack-a** did...your eyelid was still twitching. This was the sorriest piece of trash to ever go into my DVD player. Midget porn is more in the tradition of Lord of the Rings! Two girls and a cup was better entertainment than this! For those of you who are contemplating watching this pigeon poop: No! Bad movie! Bad!
"What in gods name was I thinking"
icechalkhands18 December 2004
Warning: Spoilers
OK when I saw this movie my first thoughts were "how cheesy" could it be. My god was I sadly mistaken at the cheesiness of this film. First off like all the other low budget movies, you can find this piece of "god knows what" in the five dollar bin at Wal-Mart.The funniest thing about this movie is the case, which suggest that someone sat down long enough to give it 3 1/2 stars with out there head exploding.
The movie is full of cheap actors with even cheaper reactions to one another's lines. Although I must say that it has some unforgettable lines that no matter how hard I tried to forget them i'll never manage too. Such lines like "A weary traveler I do see, A weary traveler sent to me, Will you dine in our chamber, Will you dine with the remainder" the remainder of what!!!I still never understood how a bunch of people sitting at a table could make up a whole castle, and what is with that fish guy, I mean what purpose did he serve. Plus the movie has some of the actors from Kevin Summerfields "Sleepy Hollow High" which made me wonder at times.
At no point in time am I given enough information about any of the charters to care wither there killed or enslave by the trolls. Also who ever thought to give that mouse vocals should be hunted with a very small kitchen knife. I mean laughing is one thing,but every time I turned around the mouse was laughing about something that didn't require a laugh. I also thought that the comment from the mice about max's dad's fly being opened was beyond gay to me. I mean what the hell was he looking at his fly area for. Oh yeah, then there's mister Tim who is supposed to be some old head wizard who is now an everyday working man. How did he make that transition?! But yet again I'am not given enough information on him to care about his well being.
Then there's max the magician the hero of this awful epic. Max is a kid with no friend, and by his acting it is all to obvious why. He's somehow friends with Mr.Tim who is like a hundred and max is like 12. That was all to strange to me and very pedo like. Max is given a magic book by mister Tim who until this day I can't understand why he would do such a thing. I mean was he actually looking at max, I mean did he see who I saw I don't think he did. Other wise he would have been up in there handling s*** on his own. So max is basically the average loser who rises to meet an occasions which not worth meeting. I could go on and on about this s*** of a movie but what it comes down to is do you really want to take the red pill and go down this very uncomfortable rabbit hole. I don't think so. So if you looking for laughs at other peoples expenses then buy it, if not avoid it like the plague.
The movie is full of cheap actors with even cheaper reactions to one another's lines. Although I must say that it has some unforgettable lines that no matter how hard I tried to forget them i'll never manage too. Such lines like "A weary traveler I do see, A weary traveler sent to me, Will you dine in our chamber, Will you dine with the remainder" the remainder of what!!!I still never understood how a bunch of people sitting at a table could make up a whole castle, and what is with that fish guy, I mean what purpose did he serve. Plus the movie has some of the actors from Kevin Summerfields "Sleepy Hollow High" which made me wonder at times.
At no point in time am I given enough information about any of the charters to care wither there killed or enslave by the trolls. Also who ever thought to give that mouse vocals should be hunted with a very small kitchen knife. I mean laughing is one thing,but every time I turned around the mouse was laughing about something that didn't require a laugh. I also thought that the comment from the mice about max's dad's fly being opened was beyond gay to me. I mean what the hell was he looking at his fly area for. Oh yeah, then there's mister Tim who is supposed to be some old head wizard who is now an everyday working man. How did he make that transition?! But yet again I'am not given enough information on him to care about his well being.
Then there's max the magician the hero of this awful epic. Max is a kid with no friend, and by his acting it is all to obvious why. He's somehow friends with Mr.Tim who is like a hundred and max is like 12. That was all to strange to me and very pedo like. Max is given a magic book by mister Tim who until this day I can't understand why he would do such a thing. I mean was he actually looking at max, I mean did he see who I saw I don't think he did. Other wise he would have been up in there handling s*** on his own. So max is basically the average loser who rises to meet an occasions which not worth meeting. I could go on and on about this s*** of a movie but what it comes down to is do you really want to take the red pill and go down this very uncomfortable rabbit hole. I don't think so. So if you looking for laughs at other peoples expenses then buy it, if not avoid it like the plague.
Sooooo bad!
dragonlady15 July 2004
This film is so bad it makes Plan Nine from Outer Space look like Academy Award material. The acting is awful until you realize there IS no acting in this movie. Every line is flat and all the characters seem to have one expression and, by golly, they stick to it. I noticed the blurb on the cover of the DVD that said, "A fantasy epic in the tradition of Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings." - Science Fiction Chronicle. Well, either that reviewer doesn't get out much and hasn't seen the Potter movies or LOTR or (which I suspect may be the case) is a serious crackhead.
Yes, this film can be found at Wal-Mart in the bargain bin. Do yourself a favor and leave it there. Not worth the money and definitely not worth the time watching it. See the other users comments for more specifics on how truly terrible this movie is.
Yes, this film can be found at Wal-Mart in the bargain bin. Do yourself a favor and leave it there. Not worth the money and definitely not worth the time watching it. See the other users comments for more specifics on how truly terrible this movie is.
This was the worst film I have ever seen!
rcfoxx21 April 2004
I expected it to be a weak film based on its overall rating of 3.2, but I had no idea. Generally speaking, the lower the film rating is the higher the entertainment value is, at least in my mind. Take for example the Leprechaun movies, low cinematic value, but high entertainment value - seeing as the whole film is so stupid that you can't help but laugh. In this case, however, I have never seen such bad acting. Honestly, not one person in the film could act. Jim the gardner was particularly weak as he just stood around and listed every cliche in the book. Typically I would laugh at the bad scripting if it were delivered with a modicum of effort, but every actor lacked commitment. It was like they went to the Maryland Renaissance festival on the day of shooting and said, "Hey you, yes you random boy in the corner, will you be in our movie?" Sufficed to say, the film lacked any cinematic value with its props and setting all looking like a poorly constructed primary school play. It also lacked any entertainment value, as I, who have a ridiculously liberal sense of humor, found myself falling asleep instead of laughing. Let me say, don't see it with any intent to see a serious movie, and don't see it to get a good laugh. I'm going to go get the Goonies to recover.
Good for what it is...
scarecrowcomics31 December 2003
My wife picked this up for me expecting a little more from the cover which looked at first glance to be a rip-off of Harry Potter posters, but I sat through it and it's pretty good for what it is, a low-budget fantasy for kids... Given a magic book from a neighbor who turns out to be a great wizard, Max opens a gateway to another world where he is the only salvation of it's free people. The villians look like Power Ranger baddies and their are voice overs for some odd reason or the sound is simply off track, but if you have a kid and they like fantasy, it's not too violent and sparks the imagination.
The desire to produce film
Wormy29 December 2005
Warning: Spoilers
For a film that supposedly is so awful one must remember that this is an independent project with a non-existent budget. And for all the visible boom mics and dead rubber rats it still should be noted that this was a serious project for those involved and I have to give credit to director/producer Kevin Summerfield for pulling together a tough shoot with what he had. (did he need that Magic Book pages credit though?)It only goes to show how important a good script is. Without interesting, natural dialogue and a cohesive storyline any film will feel limp. The commentary also explains that the sound engineer was incompetent thus the regrettable re-dub. I would love to know the entire budget (the only mention is that the costume budget was under $1,000. Doesn't really help though) and also who got the tie-in with Wal-Mart. Perhaps it was a trade off to get all those candles? What the film lost in sparkle smoke it gained with distribution. The commentary is great! It's practically a how-to into low budget film making. How to cut corners with out making the film out of place. Thank God people still have the passion to go through with making their own movie. Look at the box. You know what you're getting. But as for the passion behind the film making process, it can not be denied. How many of us can say that we have a hyperlink on the IMDb?? Filmed beautifully in great natural locations in Maryland and Virgina. Nice editing job by producer/director. Looses 5 stars for poor script and sound disaster.
Wormwoods@yahoo.com
Wormwoods@yahoo.com
Worst Film Ever
suzayj9 June 2013
If someone were to ask me what the worst part of this movie were, I would respond, "the part where I watched it." I can honestly say it was THE worst excuse for...any kind of performance to be honest, that I have ever seen. I have seen better acting from a group of 7 year olds in an elementary production of the Wiz. The acting was appalling, not to mention they literally re-dubbed the entire movie. Upon discovering that the villain was portrayed by the script writers land lord, I scoffed. The plot also made no sense, and on more than one occasion, the lead character would find himself speaking to someone that had not previously been introduced in the film, but he spoke to each other as if they had had a vast relevance.
The script was abysmal! I didn't know what was going on for more than half the film....well truthfully, even at the end, the point was still amiss.
In short, this film was THE BIGGEST LOAD OF CRAP that has EVER been introduced to the world!!
The best thing I can say for it, was throughout I could not stop cracking up.
The script was abysmal! I didn't know what was going on for more than half the film....well truthfully, even at the end, the point was still amiss.
In short, this film was THE BIGGEST LOAD OF CRAP that has EVER been introduced to the world!!
The best thing I can say for it, was throughout I could not stop cracking up.
Best movie ever
avanzato77728 June 2011
This was a complex plot line of a boy who needs to test his limits and find his inner beauty. With the help of some unexpected friends, he achieves that goal, though he is called a FOOL in the process. I would recommend this movie to everyone. It has great directing as well as acting. The props, scenery and special effects are out of this world. Mr. Tim is the bomb. Tom TIT tot is so cool.. Max should learn some new spells other than SMOKE in the sequel. This was a great movie overall.. I saw no flaws in this movie whatsoever, but haters will hate, and baters will bate. Graters will grate, and naters will nate, and traitors will trait. Phabulous job!!! I hope to see a sequel soon.
Local LARP group stretches acting muscles?
gargoylesama2 August 2007
The six year old in the house was given this as a gift. I don't know if the person was intentionally trying to cause the harm to our sanity or not. Yes, true grasps of sanity were stripped away with the viewing of this.
I have suffered Care Bears, Dora, even Elmo... and in comparison, they are high cinema.
The costuming looks as if the local Live Action Role Playing group was approached and told to bring their outfits. The fight scenes look of the same caliber. And if I continue on the LARP hypothesis, the back story of the fantasy world could come from them also.
If this is so, then I am sure that those that play the game fully enjoy it and it is a compelling story, but there is too much missing to fully pull in an audience not in the know.
All in all, not a compelling story, nor dynamic acting.
I have suffered Care Bears, Dora, even Elmo... and in comparison, they are high cinema.
The costuming looks as if the local Live Action Role Playing group was approached and told to bring their outfits. The fight scenes look of the same caliber. And if I continue on the LARP hypothesis, the back story of the fantasy world could come from them also.
If this is so, then I am sure that those that play the game fully enjoy it and it is a compelling story, but there is too much missing to fully pull in an audience not in the know.
All in all, not a compelling story, nor dynamic acting.
A classic of sustained awfulness.
catuus7 June 2006
Warning: Spoilers
The "let's make a cheap (CHEAP) fantasy film" industry has over the years managed to generate at least as much bad acting as old westerns, 1930s-40s serials, Ed Wood films, and porn that aspires to plot lines. And it must be observed that Charles Middleton and Harry Reems (e.g.) could display some slight modicum of the thespian muse -- of which in this mutt of a film there isn't the slightest trace.
Imagine an average High School English class, slogging through a Shakespeare play by reading the parts and hating them. No, the acting here isn't that bad -- it's worse. The impression can't be avoided that that --um, "performers" in this film were selected based precisely on their inability to register emotion. We will dispense with the usual listing of the (understandably unknown) names in order to protect the guilty.
Overall, "Max Magician" is unusually derivative, unimaginative, and overwritten, even for a 3-day-wonder very-low-budget fantasy film. The situations that occur are frequently contrived to the point of absurdity and with an eye toward cheap melodrama.
The plot, such as it is, involves a kid named Max who has difficulties with a school bully (how original!) and is a not untalented amateur magician. He's given an obviously ancient book of (real) magic spells by an elderly neighbor, with the advice to "believe in yourself". Nobody ever explains what this means, but in every crisis the kid has somebody (a mouse or a hawk or whatever) yelling this generic bit of street-corner philosophy at him.
Max uses the book to enter a fantasy world in which there is a developing struggle between elves, trolls, and other inmates of your usual $5-per-CD role-playing game. A deus-ex-machina wizard shows up to teach him to use the spells in his book whilst dispensing platitudinous advice that makes Polonius look like a sage.
Max uses his newfound magic to assist the elves and their friends against the evil troll king (or whatever he is with the ostentatious horns on his head). Max's late confrontation with the latter doesn't amount to much but is nonetheless decisive. The "rings" of the title are a direct steal in basic concept from Tolkien, but have neither a legend nor a significant role to play in the film. In the end there is another confrontation between Max and the bully -- which, however, is unsatisfactorily indecisive.
I wish I could tell you that "Max Magician" has some redeeming feature or features. Alas. While the print used on the DVD is quite clear, it only serves to emphasize how cheesy the "magic" effects (such as they are) appear. Oddly, the makeup isn't all that bad, although elf ears are no more convincing than convention-issue Spock ears. Special effects are minimal and are generally foggy and sparkly effects superimposed on the film. The script, including the mandatory bwa-ha-ha-has from the chief bad guy, lurches from banality to banality.
I don't recommend this film, even for children. We have to maintain some sort of minimum quality standard insofar as they're concerned. Besides, anybody over the age of 5 (if not younger) will watch this with the constant thought that, "Gee, I could be watching mud wrestling instead." It's instructive to note that prices for used copies on Amazon have plummeted to $0.01 (yep, 1 cent) ... although some idiot thinks he's going to get $50 for it. Probably from some other idiot.
Imagine an average High School English class, slogging through a Shakespeare play by reading the parts and hating them. No, the acting here isn't that bad -- it's worse. The impression can't be avoided that that --um, "performers" in this film were selected based precisely on their inability to register emotion. We will dispense with the usual listing of the (understandably unknown) names in order to protect the guilty.
Overall, "Max Magician" is unusually derivative, unimaginative, and overwritten, even for a 3-day-wonder very-low-budget fantasy film. The situations that occur are frequently contrived to the point of absurdity and with an eye toward cheap melodrama.
The plot, such as it is, involves a kid named Max who has difficulties with a school bully (how original!) and is a not untalented amateur magician. He's given an obviously ancient book of (real) magic spells by an elderly neighbor, with the advice to "believe in yourself". Nobody ever explains what this means, but in every crisis the kid has somebody (a mouse or a hawk or whatever) yelling this generic bit of street-corner philosophy at him.
Max uses the book to enter a fantasy world in which there is a developing struggle between elves, trolls, and other inmates of your usual $5-per-CD role-playing game. A deus-ex-machina wizard shows up to teach him to use the spells in his book whilst dispensing platitudinous advice that makes Polonius look like a sage.
Max uses his newfound magic to assist the elves and their friends against the evil troll king (or whatever he is with the ostentatious horns on his head). Max's late confrontation with the latter doesn't amount to much but is nonetheless decisive. The "rings" of the title are a direct steal in basic concept from Tolkien, but have neither a legend nor a significant role to play in the film. In the end there is another confrontation between Max and the bully -- which, however, is unsatisfactorily indecisive.
I wish I could tell you that "Max Magician" has some redeeming feature or features. Alas. While the print used on the DVD is quite clear, it only serves to emphasize how cheesy the "magic" effects (such as they are) appear. Oddly, the makeup isn't all that bad, although elf ears are no more convincing than convention-issue Spock ears. Special effects are minimal and are generally foggy and sparkly effects superimposed on the film. The script, including the mandatory bwa-ha-ha-has from the chief bad guy, lurches from banality to banality.
I don't recommend this film, even for children. We have to maintain some sort of minimum quality standard insofar as they're concerned. Besides, anybody over the age of 5 (if not younger) will watch this with the constant thought that, "Gee, I could be watching mud wrestling instead." It's instructive to note that prices for used copies on Amazon have plummeted to $0.01 (yep, 1 cent) ... although some idiot thinks he's going to get $50 for it. Probably from some other idiot.
About the same caliber of film-making as "Laser Cats"
Danielle3127 July 2008
Someone bought me this DVD for Xmas about four years ago, and I never opened it or watched it until recently. Let's say I severely regretted doing so. I honestly should have chucked it unopened in the garbage bin after I came to this website and checked the reviews. Too bad I can't turn back time, like an hour and a half of it approximately.
I hate to bash movies, but this one is begging for it. I have watched quite a few low budget movies, some of them being fantasy/sci-fi. The low production values are usually a little bit of a distraction, but a strong script and good acting can pick up the slack in other areas of the movie at least enough for me to enjoy it. That is SO not the case here.
There are a few good things about the movie and I'll list them first so I won't seem 'biased'. 1. Whoever did the make-up did a fairly decent job. 2. Max is a cute kid 3. Fetch is hot and I love his accent and 4. The princess is very pretty. That's about it. Everything else was just god awful, the worse thing being the sound. It doesn't line up with the voices, the sound goes in and out, there are strange noises in the background, etc. The sound effects are also extremely cheesy. Basically it's a hot tranny mess all up in the sound department.
The next worst thing is the special effects. I wouldn't call them 'special' by any means. I actually thought this was a much older movie because the effects make it look extremely dated. Whoever imposed the 'sparkles' on the film had a computer that was about 20 years old. Anybody, even my mother-in-law (who can't use a computer to save her life) who owns a recent computer, can make better special effects than what are shown in this movie. I kid you not.
Next is the acting. Actually, I wouldn't call it that--I'd call it 'reading off of a poster board in the background'. This isn't the worst movie I've seen (though it makes the top 5) but in terms of acting ability, it is the only film I've ever seen where not one person in the film can talk like a real live human being. I swear they all sound like robots (which would have probably have made it a cooler movie).
The plot--oh, I don't know--I have seen lamer plots, but this one is pretty bad. There is absolutely nothing original about it. It freely rips off ideas from much better movies--like Harry Potter, Lord of The Rings, Star Wars, etc., but it most resembles The Neverending Story. It pains me to think of the wreck they made of my favorite childhood movie. I'll never be able to watch it in the same way again.
All in all, this movie is really horrible and I beg you not to see it. Though, actually, I thought of another thing that was good about it. 5. It gives amateur filmmakers hope, because I can't think of anyone who could make a movie and do a worse job. Anybody, even someone who's never directed, acted or even seen a movie before could make a far superior film and have thousands upon thousands of DVD's created and placed in the bargain bin at Wal-Marts all over the country. I don't know how to act or direct but it might be worth it for me to make a low budget Merchant-Ivory type film. At least I know how to write a decent script and my computer is only a year old instead of 20. Just those two things would make my movie infinitely better than this one, and your amateur movie, no matter the genre or plot, would be an improvement on this one also.
I hate to bash movies, but this one is begging for it. I have watched quite a few low budget movies, some of them being fantasy/sci-fi. The low production values are usually a little bit of a distraction, but a strong script and good acting can pick up the slack in other areas of the movie at least enough for me to enjoy it. That is SO not the case here.
There are a few good things about the movie and I'll list them first so I won't seem 'biased'. 1. Whoever did the make-up did a fairly decent job. 2. Max is a cute kid 3. Fetch is hot and I love his accent and 4. The princess is very pretty. That's about it. Everything else was just god awful, the worse thing being the sound. It doesn't line up with the voices, the sound goes in and out, there are strange noises in the background, etc. The sound effects are also extremely cheesy. Basically it's a hot tranny mess all up in the sound department.
The next worst thing is the special effects. I wouldn't call them 'special' by any means. I actually thought this was a much older movie because the effects make it look extremely dated. Whoever imposed the 'sparkles' on the film had a computer that was about 20 years old. Anybody, even my mother-in-law (who can't use a computer to save her life) who owns a recent computer, can make better special effects than what are shown in this movie. I kid you not.
Next is the acting. Actually, I wouldn't call it that--I'd call it 'reading off of a poster board in the background'. This isn't the worst movie I've seen (though it makes the top 5) but in terms of acting ability, it is the only film I've ever seen where not one person in the film can talk like a real live human being. I swear they all sound like robots (which would have probably have made it a cooler movie).
The plot--oh, I don't know--I have seen lamer plots, but this one is pretty bad. There is absolutely nothing original about it. It freely rips off ideas from much better movies--like Harry Potter, Lord of The Rings, Star Wars, etc., but it most resembles The Neverending Story. It pains me to think of the wreck they made of my favorite childhood movie. I'll never be able to watch it in the same way again.
All in all, this movie is really horrible and I beg you not to see it. Though, actually, I thought of another thing that was good about it. 5. It gives amateur filmmakers hope, because I can't think of anyone who could make a movie and do a worse job. Anybody, even someone who's never directed, acted or even seen a movie before could make a far superior film and have thousands upon thousands of DVD's created and placed in the bargain bin at Wal-Marts all over the country. I don't know how to act or direct but it might be worth it for me to make a low budget Merchant-Ivory type film. At least I know how to write a decent script and my computer is only a year old instead of 20. Just those two things would make my movie infinitely better than this one, and your amateur movie, no matter the genre or plot, would be an improvement on this one also.
See also
Awards | FAQ | User Ratings | External Reviews | Metacritic Reviews
