joelsmith190 Reviews

The Crucible (1996)

A wonderful drama and an excellent adaptation carried to near perfection, only let down (minorly) by a decent musical score.

[10/10 · 11 January 2016]

The Crucible is a drama and a 1997 film adaptation of Arthur Miller's play of the same name. The play (and the movie, by extension) is set during the Salem Witch Trials and is an allegory for the Red Scare. Being a victim of the Red Scare, it's natural that this story was personal to Miller, and it really shows in how polished and well written the play and movie are. And before you misconceive anything, the movie was actually still written by Arther Miller and he basically adapts it very accurately. The only differences tend to be new scenes added in to update the play and improve it.

The first thing I have to talk about is the acting. Everyone here does a fantastic job, especially Winona Ryder, who really owns her character. When they are supposed to be deceptive, they feel deceptive. When they are supposed to feel melancholy, they do. When they are supposed to be happy, they are. This cast really runs the gamut of amazing performances, and as I said, I absolutely love Winona Ryder in this.

The characters are all incredibly interesting or likable. Daniel Day-Lewis's John Proctor (arguably the main character) isn't some white bread dude. He's made his mistakes, he's failed, but at the end of the day you can still tell he's a good guy and understand his actions, even if you don't always agree with them. Outside of Abigail Williams and maybe John Proctor, I also adored Giles Cory for his personality and stubbornest. The dialogue fits the time period, making it feel authentic. And it's still wittily written and can get a few laughs here and there.

As far as the costumes and sets go, they are wonderfully well done. It all fits the time and looks authentic. It still looks great regardless too, and there is no CGI or any bullshit to ruin the look of this film. The atmosphere is incredibly dark and tense, though I wouldn't say on Deathtrap levels of intensity.

The plot is incredibly well written and makes sense from beginning to end. The characters never feel like they're changing just because the plot needs them to. Instead, they evolve and develop rather naturally, and it's really believable when you see some guy who was naive at the beginning to understanding exactly what's going on at the end. I also have to give massive props to the romance in the film. It's not often that I ever praise romance in a film, as I inherently tend to dislike the element as it's not often particularly well done, but the Crucible goes the whole nine yards. While couples like the Proctors undeniably have chemistry between one another, they still fight and they still have to deal with other problems with their relationship the whole way through, and the fact that it never feels forced deserves massive kudos.

The musical score isn't amazing, but it's definitely fine. It's your standard, sweeping orchestral soundtrack with nothing really new to spice things up. Surely serviceable, but it's also surely worth mentioning.

It's not often that I bother to mention cinematography, but this film is beautifully shot.

The Crucible is undeniably one of the greatest drama films I've seen-- it's up there with V for Vendetta, it's that good. I truly have no real criticisms to level at the Crucible. It's just an amazing ride and kept me interested the entire two hours. If you see it around sometime and you like some good drama in your films, definitely check it out. The Crucible gets a 10/10.

Hollywood Homicide (2003)

Fails as both a comedy and crime thriller. Not the worst thing, but it's just "eh".

[5/10 · 30 July 2015]

I like crime thrillers. It's one of my favorite genres, though I haven't seen many good ones in the medium of film. Most of the time, I'm reading them, like some of Kellerman's or Grisham's. Most movie crime thrillers just seem to fizzle out, though there are some classics, if they tend to be critically panned. Yesterday, I watched Hollywood Homicide on Netflix and finished with mixed feelings.

It promises to be both a comedy and a crime thriller, and it fails at both. There's maybe one point where I genuinely laughed because something funny happened, and about ten times where I just shook my head at the failed attempts at humor. The crime thriller aspect is ruined because there is literally zero mystery after about 10 minutes of the film when they literally show you who's the bad guy. Wow, you literally took away the entire point of crime thrillers: figuring out who done it and why. And the execution of telling you this is poor at best.

The action is few and far between and isn't very well executed. The acting isn't all that great. It does have Harrison Ford as the leading character, but nor are there any other memorable names or does he do a great job himself. The characters are either bland or unlikeable. Harrison's is the best, and shows signs of potential. The dialogue is meh. There's some good stuff, iffy stuff, and deplorable stuff. There's even an uncomfortable and unnecessary sex scene (though it doesn't show anything, thankfully).

So I wanted to like it, but the only piece of comedy comes in the first ten minutes, and the failed crime aspect kind of ruin this film. However, it does entertain for the rest of the film and didn't make me cringe much outside of the few failed attempts of humor. So it's not the worst thing, but it's a failed attempt at best. Hollywood Homicide gets a 5/10. Had it succeeded in either aspect it promises, it could've been a great film, but it just isn't great. It isn't good. It isn't decent. And it isn't even mediocre.

Clash of the Titans (2010)

Some flaws, but it's an epic mythology-based action flick.

[10/10 · 29 July 2015]

I have previously stated that I'm a myth buff, so I might be slightly biased to this movie from the get-go. It also has Sam Worthington from the new Terminator and Man On A Ledge. It also has Gemma Arterton, from Prince Of Persia and some other movies.

This movie has it down to the lore for the most part. It's ironclad with epic battles and awesome special effects. It's got awesome characters and great acting. It also has a great cast. The story is interesting, though kind of cliché.

And they use Perseus, one of the most ignored myth figures (more on him later).

"RELEASE THE KRAKEN!"

Can't ignore one of the greatest lines in history.

This movie is one of the best, entertainment wise. The fight scenes were fast-paced and awesome, the special effects and musical scores were epic. It's pretty fantastic for a popcorn film with some humor mixed in some parts.

However, it's one of those "clusterfuck of death" movies. Which are annoying go say the least. Like 3.5 soldiers live including Perseus. Yeah, there's a point five in there for a reason, I didn't just randomly throw it in there.

Plenty of people rip on the plot and premise, though I gotta say I don't see what they're getting at. Yes, there's your predictable messiah complex, and yeah, the deaths of most of the characters lack impact, but in terms of the world and such, it's actually pretty interesting (though not much is really done with it). The people of Earth begin shunning the Gods, no longer praying towards them, so Hades comes to Olympus and talks Zeus into chastising the humans. And by chastising, I mean brutally murdering and then giving an ultimatum to those still alive: sacrifice the princess of their region or suffer a tentacle-y death (from the Kraken obviously). So Perseus who had been taken into "custody" and a legion of soldiers go off to find the Moirai, or the Fates, and hopefully find a way to kill the Kraken. The city is taken over by civilians who just want to live, while Perseus and his troupe of soldiers go on their mighty adventure.

One big thing I want to criticize from a mythological standpoint is that while Poseidon is portrayed quite well (a psychopathic rapist), Zeus and Hades aren't. Both Zeus and Poseidon had sex with so many creatures before humanity was even a thing, yet Zeus genuinely wants Perseus (his son; a demigod) to survive/not be killed by the Kraken. Dude, Zeus would want to eat Perseus if anything to prevent his own death, which is something he did A LOT in the mythology, because he was paranoid. Hades, as usual in Hollywood fashion, is portrayed as your usual bad guy. And just so everybody who isn't a myth buff knows, Hades wasn't actually a bad guy. He kinda got screwed over and thrown into the Underworld, but he was actually a good guy; his brothers were asses, but I digress. The worst thing he did was kidnap Persephone and force her into marriage, and while it's no defense for what he did, here's why he did it: he didn't know any better. He lived in his father's stomach for years, only to be sent to the Underworld after the war against the Titans where there was no time for love. He kinda was just stuck there and never really learned a good way to romance, so when he saw this beautiful and nice girl, he practically hopped on a chariot, went into the overworld, picked her up and drove her back down with him. He was lonely and again, not an excuse, but that's the reason. And you can tell he was a good guy because he still let her go to the overworld one day every year (which is when spring begins). So he suffers the same fate of Magneto: misused as the token villain.

It gets a 10/10. It's epic. Don't listen to the critics, this is an awesome movie. One of my favorites. Definitely better than "Wrath". I hope Rage can return this franchise to its roots of badassery. While it does a good job of respecting the mythos, it still does its own thing. For example, the Perseus of myth, like most heroes, had no real personality. Instead here, he does some (thin) depth.

I haven't seen the original Titans film (I own it, I just haven't gotten around to it yet), but I'm pretty sure most people hate this because "Aaaargh! Reboot!". But my family (who has seen it) explained to me where this film deviated from the original, so I can tell you that this film does its own thing; but on the other hand, it does respect the original with some Easter eggs (which I found out via wiki lol)

Pompeii (I) (2014)

Not your "Average Joe disaster film"

[9/10 · 22 July 2015]

Pompeii is probably the best disaster movie I've ever seen. And that's because it's not purely clusterfuck of death and because all the deaths of main characters made sense. There is more to this movie than an exploding volcano, and actually the first two-thirds of this movie are about character development and action. And I liked that most. I was a little afraid when it got towards the end, assuming it'd turn "average Joe disaster film" but it didn't disappoint. It's emotional and is a journey. It has Kiefer Sutherland (he's a bad guy in this movie, who acts and sounds like Lord Farquad, I think this was done on purpose), but besides that you probably won't know anybody in the cast. The acting is good and the characters are believable. The atmosphere is nothing short of wicked and I actually felt a little panicked towards the end. The end didn't make me cry, but I wouldn't be surprised if somebody didn't.

It has one of the best musical scores I've ever heard and the special effects towards the end are spectacular.

Pompeii gets a 9.5/10. Some parts are a little funny, it hits the nail on the head accuracy wise for the most part, it's enjoyable, and completely underrated imho. I bet contemporary audiences watched this and were like 30 minutes in "Where's the death? 3/10"

Edit to original review: I might've seen a different movie. Lol.

47 Ronin (2013)

Great samurai film. Not too keen on the mythology, but still great

[8/10 · 22 July 2015]

47 Ronin is a 2013 film based around the Japanese story of the 47 ronin. Ronin were masterless samurai, and were considered a huge problem back in the days of feudal Japan. That's as much as I knew, going into this movie.

As with any other adaptation, I went into 47 Ronin with a blank mind and waited to judge it upon its own merits. One big thing is that the action (particularly the sword fights) are incredibly fast- paced, stylish, and well crafted. The special effects are mixed, some things look phenomenal; other things look like they came straight from a toilet. The musical score is amazing. The story is almost self explanatory.

47 Ronin is a pretty awesome samurai film, and the US barely gets any of them. And because this niche has barely been tapped into, 47 Ronin feels like one of a kind. It's incredibly stylish and fast- paced, though some fight scenes are mildly confusing/over the place. Which is why the final rating of 47 Ronin is an 8/10. It's a great film, but it's not fantastic and it doesn't have as thick of an atmosphere as I thought it would have. The premise sounds intriguing, but in the end, this is a sword fight film through and through.

Seventh Son (I) (2014)

It's surprisingly solid for a film delayed so many times

[7/10 · 22 July 2015]

Seventh Son is a film adaptation of "The Spook's Apprentice", and while I won't pretend to have read the book, as I haven't, I feel I can still accurately judge the movie. I've been waiting to watch this movie since I saw the preview for it while watching Pacific Rim at home. Mind you, this movie should've come out two years ago, but didn't due to some licensing issues, so I assumed we'd either never see it or it would suck.

One of the best things in this movie is that it has great set pieces, special effects, and music that make you feel a part of it. And while the music isn't as good as the next movie I will be reviewing, it is still really good and fits in well with the film. This and its sense of wonder are what I feel are best done in this film.

The action sequences (specifically the Spook's) are well done and fast-paced, with great sense of motion and fluidity in the way the characters move and fight. Which is what I always love to see (INSERT MY USUAL HARPING FOR KINGSMAN AND EQUILIBRIUM)

It has a couple of people I've seen before; Jeff Bridges from RIPD as the Spook, Kit Harington from Pompeii in a very limited role towards the beginning, and Djimon Hounsou from Pompeii and Guardians of the Galaxy in another limited role. Jeff Bridges feels like he has a "wannabe' Sean Connery voice" if nobody could understand Connery. The acting isn't very great, but it isn't terrible. Bridges and the main protagonist probably do the best jobs.

Seventh Son's story isn't that great but it isn't one we've really seen before in the modern age. It's pretty interesting because I'd never heard of Seventh Sons before until I started researching them before watching this movie. I feel the movie is too short and has too huge of a pacing problem for a movie that was finished a couple of years ago.

Dialogue is well done and humor is found throughout the film which eases some of the tension. It's always nice to see good lines and some comedy every once and awhile.

While not as good as the preview made it look like it'd be, Seventh Son is a decent movie that I feel deserves a 7.5/10. It has a great sense of wonder, but I feel the pacing and mediocrity in some areas kill a lot of what could've made this a 10/10. Some more world- building and a longer run time could've fixed this problem. Anyways, I don't think this is a 3/10 or anything and I feel this movie was unfairly judged. For one of the movies I was most hyped for this year, the film disappoints a lot, but I won't say it's terrible.

The Raid: Redemption (2011)

Could be a lot better, but good for a no-name indy action flick

[6/10 · 22 July 2015]

I had never heard of this film until I saw numerous people accusing Dredd of being a ripoff of this. So I have been looking into it for months and watching it, I can see why people say that, but the two films are quite different. I won't be going into these differences in this post, though I want to on another post.

So I had some "technical issues" when I first put it in. The film starts off in Indonesian, for no reason. I guess authenticity, but if you're going to make a foreign film, don't call name it something English. Thankfully, you can opt for an English dub, but naturally the voices aren't synchronized if you do go for the dub. And even when I got the voices in English, I couldn't get the subtitles off for some reason. And the subtitles don't even correlate with the dub. Anyways, at least everything makes sense in English, even if it comes across as mildly barbaric.

The first 30 or so minutes are pretty boring and monotonous, with action being "two guys sitting behind cover while spraying bullets", which isn't very fun to watch. There's a way to have gunfights in films feel fun and bombastic. Look at Kingsman, or Equilibrium, which have incredible gunfights. This film doesn't do anything like that with its gunfights, making them feel boring, if incredibly chaotic as the film has outright brutal deaths and has no quarrel with filling the screen with people. Around the 30 minute mark, the film starts turning into a martial arts film. The fights here are very well choreographed and acted, though the camera goes on acid during these fight scenes. These fights are pretty bombastic, if illogical, with one guy, no joking, continuing his fight with two other guys after getting impaled in the neck by a wooden stake like it was nothing.

The plot is simplistic, like Dredd, but nowhere near as satisfying and a lot of the major plot points are nonsensical, like there's a cop in the film who kills one of his fellow cops towards the end for no reason leaving you in a dumbfounding moment. The characters are faceless if anything. It's pretty easy to confuse like five of the cops for each other as they all look and act the same. The villains are worse, with no character or development throughout that isn't completely predictable (nothing like Dredd by the way). The ending is uneventful, and acts as you would expect for the most part (except when it bases logic on nonsense).

At the end of the day, this is no amazing film. It's derivative, if pretty decent after the 30 minute mark. It has its "oohhaho!" moments, but at the end of the day, it's just another eh action film. As always, I recommend Kingsman or Equilibrium instead because they do action better than most action films in recent memory. The Raid: Redemption gets a 6.5/10.

The Book of Eli (2010)

Pretty great, despite getting preachy at times

[8/10 · 22 July 2015]

Book of Eli is a post-apocalyptic/Christian film starring Denzel Washington and Mila Kunis, where all of society and knowledge are wiped. Eli has the only Bible in existence and is trying to travel to a promised land in the west.

I'm not one for watching religious films, but this one is surprisingly solid. Now I won't talk about religion for this review as I don't want to fill the entire review with my religious beliefs. Instead, I'll be judging on whether Book of Eli is good as a movie.

BoE has great action sequences, though they are few and far between. The dialogue is well written, and the acting is solid. The sets feel weak and the characters use traditional weapons, which I feel shouldn't be in a post-apocalyptic film. People should use improvised weaponry, instead of everybody having shotguns and assault carbines. It just doesn't fit with the world BoE attempts to provide. The musical score is quite good.

The story, outside of the religious motivation, is pretty cliché. Name a post-apocalyptic film that isn't about the protagonists reaching the promised land. It also has a few plot holes, which never get explained. It attempts to be gritty and such, but it tries too hard. There's barely any color in the film and every location looks and feels the same as the last. And it tries to have some wow factor, but fails outright.

Book of Eli is a solid film, though it feels preachy and doesn't have enough imagination to make it a stunner. Book of Eli gets an 8/10. I'd be proud to have this on my shelves, though it has faults that can't be ignored just because of it being religious.

Blade (1998)

Not a great comic book adaptation (this is coming from a comic fan), but it's a great movie

[8/10 · 22 July 2015]

A few months ago, I watched Blade 2 and I've been told it's the best in the trilogy. I also watched the end of Blade: Trinity (it was on TV so there was no reason not to). A few days ago, I finally watched the first movie of the trilogy.

Blade is a Marvel character, half human, half vampire; all of their strengths and none of their weaknesses. The films aren't very accurate; one of the main characters in the films (Whistler) originated in the 90's Spider-Man series and not the comics. There were three major films, and also a TV series.

Anyways, this film is good, but not stunning. The action sequences are great. Especially when Blade's kicking some vampire butt, slashing them as they turn to dust. Wesley Snipes does a great job as Blade. He definitely acts like the badass Blade is. The story is okay. Nothing special.

Special effects actually aren't that bad for the most part. They don't seem dated or anything. The musical score is good but the soundtrack isn't. The costumes are all well done.

Acting is okay besides Wesley. There's some star power in the cast. The dialogue is well written. The tone is dark but it avoids the kinky vampire blood stuff of say, Vampire Diaries, for the most part. It does only as much world building as it needs to, and nothing extra. You could argue that the later installments into the franchise do it better, but I disagree.

Blade is a great film but not as good as Blade 2, which is just an improved version of this one. Blade gets an 8/10. It's not phenomenal but it's still pretty awesome. Check it out if you haven't already.

First Strike (1996)

A must-have for any Chan fan. It's silly awesomeness!!!

[8/10 · 22 July 2015]

As a kid, I watched a lot of Jackie Chan films. A month or so ago, I watched and reviewed his film, Mister Nice Guy. Today, I'll be judging First Strike, a film starring Chan that I got from a flea market a little while back.

As usual, the film is a martial arts film that doesn't take itself very seriously, resulting in some ridiculously entertaining moments. It's funny and offers plenty of kickass fight scenes.

Dialogue is very well written and executed. The plot isn't very great; merely serviceable. My biggest problem is that the movie is a bit short. Most movies are at least 90 minutes long, which is a good run time. This one's barely over 70 minutes; not counting bloopers. However, it's well paced and exciting enough that this still is a minor gripe to me. The acting isn't very great outside of Chan. Same thing for the characters. Besides Jackie Chan's (he plays himself btw), I either didn't care about any of them or I hated them. Some characters have little point and just feel ignored.

It feels disjointed at times, but it's still incredibly fun and I enjoyed every minute of it. Jackie Chan's First Strike gets an 8.5/10. It's what I want from a Jackie Chan film. But the short run time, acting, characters, and plot keep it from a higher score.

Big Hero 6 (2014)

Far from a good adaptation, but also far from a shameless cash-in

[9/10 · 22 July 2015]

When I first heard about this movie, I dismissed it as a bad Disney cash-in on Marvel.

I just watched the movie on Vudu, and I have to say, I'm glad I watched it.

There's a lot of padding and things that would put little kids in tears, but the actual movie is really good.

First of all, amazing special effects/art. Whoever was in charge of that deserves a raise. They did a fantastic job.

Second, the voice acting was awesome. These guys did their jobs perfectly as well.

Third, it had amazing characters (which aren't actually pulled from the comics as Silver Samurai and Sunfire are owned by Fox, I believe). Props go to Baymax, as he is an obvious fan favorite and the rest of the props go to Wasabi. Even the ones from the comics were turned into totally different characters, but this was pulled off.

While it tries to feel "Asiatic", it fails and feels like that was thrown in as an after thought.

The plot is predictable, but then again, it's a kid's movie. Anything more and kids would be confused and dismiss the movie immediately.

And props on the innuendo in two specific scenes involving Baymax and Hiro.

The movie was pretty funny, reaching it's high points in the beginning of the movie, and kind of losing it's comedy towards the end, where it gets a bit darker. The best parts were in the trailer, but they're still hilarious when you get to them.

The movie scores a 9/10. While not doing justice to the comics, the movie makes these characters its own, and distinguishes itself from other recent Disney movies (like the one trick pony, Frozen), not in originality, but in style and in execution. To only care about how well it did the source is cynical (because, while doing the source justice is very admirable, adapting the source to work with a different audience and making it work is even more so), as I shall point out, now legions of eight and nine year old's will go out and read the comics for more Hiro and Baymax.

Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014)

In the runnings for film of the year

[9/10 · 22 July 2015]

Kingsman is the movie adaptation of Mark Millar's comic of the same name. I've never even heard of it for some reason (I am something of a "comic aficionado" and me not hearing about a comic notable and popular enough to be adapted is practically unprecedented), but I'll definitely be on the lookout for it.

This is a fun movie through and through, taking the spy genre and absolutely flipping it on its head. It basically does what it wants in the name of style.

It has a fantastic musical score, the best of the year, thus far. The special effects are a mixed bag; some are fugly and others look nice.

There's plenty of comedy to be had and even the action sequences reflect that. Dialogue is well-crafted and snappy.

Acting is well-done and it has an all-star cast, including Michael Caine and Samuel L. Jackson. Characters all seem pretty different and we'll brought together.

Action sequences would be very good if it weren't for CGI and too much slow-motion, but this problem is fixed for the most part towards the end of the film.

Kingsman is a fun movie that wears its uniqueness on its sleeve. This movie is definitely worth a 9/10, at least for me. It's fun and has no major pacing problems, but I feel action sequences are a bit weak for a movie that should rely on it. Best movie I've seen this year, so far.

Mr. Nice Guy (1997)

Definitely worth the watch. It's not perfect, but it's endearing and fun enough to warrant your undivided attention

[8/10 · 22 July 2015]

I love Jackie Chan movies. Rush Hour, Shanghai Knights, even the cartoon, Jackie Chan Adventures. I have loved his style of action and comedy since I was like five. The fact that he does all of his stunts still impresses me to this day. Today (at time of original review), I watched his film, "Mister Nice Guy" for the first time, and it was an absolute blast.

The plot is cliché, thin, and predictable. However, the fun comes from the awesome action and plenty of funny moments. Tons of slapstick comedy, flips, and daring escapes that show off what Jackie Chan the best at what he does: action-comedies. The acting isn't amazing and the musical score is just decent for most of the movie. Some characters feel as if they have no purpose except to be kidnapped.

The main problem is that it uses too much slow-motion, and the quality of this slow-mo is very below par, making me a little motion sick at times. The fact that it uses slow-motion for such trivial things as thugs swaying their heads from side-to-side makes it even worse.

With plenty of flips, kicks, and punches, Mister Nice Guy is sure to excite, even if a little silly. If you're a fan of Chan and haven't watched this gem yet, please do. I'm going to give it an 8.5/10. Fun and endearing, Mister Nice Guy reminds me of why I love Jackie Chan's films and why I'm mildly depressed that he hasn't been putting out many good films anymore.

Paparazzi (2004)

A solid revenge film

[8/10 · 22 July 2015]

Paparazzi is a film that was worked on by Mel Gibson. I often see it at flea markets and wanted to try it out. It was surprisingly good. A solid revenge film.

Bo Laramie is an up and coming action star. He gets badgered by a troupe of tryhard members of the paparazzi, and after multiple incursions based upon their stalking they go too far and cause Bo and his family to almost die in a car wreck.

This film has some great writing, dialogue, and the story is believable and pretty original. The acting is good and it has an all-star cast. The musical score is decent. There isn't much action, per se and the little you get isn't all that great, but this is a revenge film that focuses more on manipulation than the Gung Ho, kill these mofo's style.

Paparazzi is smart and entertaining. It definitely isn't as good as most other revenge films, but it's something different and I liked it. Paparazzi gets an 8/10.

Lone Survivor (2013)

Purely disgusting

[3/10 · 22 July 2015]

There are movies that are called "based on a true story" that are so fantasized that calling them a true story becomes incredibly illogical. This movie disgusts me because it thinks that if you show a bunch of clips of marines and call it a true story that it must be hailed as "inspiring" and "a story of true courage", when there are obvious moments that it's impossible for the single survivor to have known that they happened. So I can fairly criticize this as a film without any qualms. You can't just fly a banner that says "war movie" and evade criticism... well, you can avoid the critics at the idiotic aggregators and the idiots who see "based on true acts of courage" and automatically call it the greatest film of the year.

This movie is comically bad. It barely shows any of the humanity of the soldiers, making their deaths lack impact. And you know that everybody's going to die from the get-go because of the title, meaning it needed to have impact. And it doesn't. It has horrible pacing, terrible camera, and the portrayal of the Muslim characters is laughable at best. Like American Sniper, this film is Jingoistic, portraying all Muslim characters as either stupid terrorists or just stupid.

The musical score is bad too. The action sequences are like American Sniper; a scope lines up with a terrorist, and then it jump cuts to the person dying. Wow, that's intense. Great action really, because there totally aren't sniper movies that do more. Totally. The movie completely overuses slow motion with multiple sequences where nothing happens except soldiers falling down the mountainsides. Wow, riveting.

The dialogue is poorly written; never does anybody feel heroic or humane. Quite the opposite. And that's the worst part about it. It feels disrespectful, because that's what it is. You can't take a story of a group of heroes, turn it into just another Hollywood garbage film, plaster "true story" on it, play a sad song at the end with pictures of the real soldiers, and then get massive dough and avoid any and all criticism. Sorry Hollywood, I won't fall for this bullshit. Lone Survivor gets a 3/10. 

A Knight's Tale (2001)

A Knight's Tale

[8/10 · 29 January 2015]

Starring Heath Ledger and Rufus Sewell, this 2001 medieval "sports-drama movie" is really good. With jousting and some cool coliseum-styled action, this movie is surprising in the fact that a movie without killing or any fantasy, did so well at being a good movie.

The movie is about a poor squire (Ledger), that after the death of his master, fakes nobility and enters himself in a jousting tournament. After training and a couple of games, Ledger becomes a pro and goes up the ladder (even beating the prince/king/whatever, who somewhat resembles Thomas Jane, in one round). Facing off against a narcissistic a noble (Sewell) multiple times, it seems he'll never win the championship. But he perseveres and still keeps on trying, after a few times where he almost quits.

This movie is very original in the way that it's a sports film, set before pictures could even be taken. I highly recommend it, as it's a very good pseudo-sports film. It's very good.

Looper (2012)

Looper: one of the worst movies of all time

[1/10 · 29 January 2015]

When you have an all star cast and a great trailer and you still buzz under the radar, it's worrying to some consumers.

I didn't expect Looper to be a massive cluster**** like it was.

The trailer looked interesting, the guns looked cool, the cast had J Gordon Levitt and Bruce Willis, the plot seemed nice, but once you watch this movie, you wonder what the hell just happened.

First things first, nothing went right with this movie except for maybe should'ves.

The movie is painstaking to watch, immature, nonsensical, stupid, lazy, boring, and just feels disconnected. Like, what you're watching has nothing to do with you. Not the kind of movie I want to watch. I want to be dragged into the atmosphere.

The plot is so convoluted that it leaves you out of the LOOP about twenty thousand times.

I'm done with this movie. There is nothing to like about this movie except for when it ends. And when it ends, it feels like somebody threw you in lava, dragged you out, and did everything to make you feel better than ever. Know why? You've just began your life after watching this garbage. Now you realize how better life is. And it might seem like I'm exaggerating, but I'm not kidding. This movie is awful. I want to give it a zero. If there was ever a movie that deserved a zero, it's this garbage. One of the worst movies ever, and if you've watched it, you probably agree. And if you're one of the people who helped it get a 7, shame on you, sadist.

The Equalizer (2014)

The Equalizer

[7/10 · 29 January 2015]

I've got to say, I want to see more of Robert McCall, the main protagonist of Equalizer. This guy is a realistic badass, using his skill and perfect timing to even the odds in a one-man-war against the Russian mob, who have taken over his city.

At first, I didn't buy this movie (figuratively speaking). First maybe 30 minutes were a snore, but once it got into it's odd groove, the movie is pretty cool. Some little bugs, like an overuse of slow-motion (in an attempt to make it "cooler") and some other stuff, but the overall product isn't bad.

The musical score is awesome. The only time I remember a better one is in Transformers (you can hate on the movie series, but the musical score is one of the best I've heard). The acting from Washington is believable.

The overall believability in this movie help it gain it's own footing in the individuality.

One of the things I wished they focused more on is his past. It's so murky, that it leaves you scratching your head.

The movie is gritty, dark, and again, realistic.

The preview was promising, the style was cool, but in the end, most of the movie until the end is boring. No immature boob shots, so hurray!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (quit hating just because Michael Bay kind of helped make it)

[7/10 · 29 January 2015]

Okay, so I've been a Turtles fan my entire life. And when I heard that Michael Bay wanted to make the turtles aliens I was as mad as anybody. Then I heard that his Turtle movie was coming out this year and I'm like, "No. He's going to singlehandedly ruin the entire franchise" I'm proud to report that he didn't.

While I still dislike the Turtle's and Splinter's designs, I think the movie is pretty damn good. No Casey as promised, which is a good reason to dock points from this movie. He's my second favorite character.

While the plot is highly predictable and bland, the action and comedy are a notch above decent. The special effects (outside of character models) are spectacular, as you'd expect.

The movie feels a bit empty, like I, Frankenstein or Transformers 4. Like somebody just couldn't find a way to make it feel more... "Full".

"Here, we want this, this, this, and this to happen, but nothing else" I seriously doubt somebody said that.

The slow-motion in this isn't really anything (cough, unlike Dredd, cough) and you really won't mind it. I think it adds some style to it.

There isn't much action that you're like "Oh, that's really cool" besides some stuff with Master Splinter, every bit with Shredder, and one little scene with Mikey. And most of that stuff came out in the trailers and previews.

As stated previously, the plot is painstakingly predictable. No plot twists. Nothing you're generally surprised by. You've watched the movie before you've seen it.

Unlike the Internet when his models were shown, I actually like Shredder's design. It's a really cool robotic suit that looks just like Shredder does, except with these badass wrist-mounted knives. Some people say it's overkill, but hey, it's cool and I'm a big fan of the Turtles and I don't give a crap about it. Except this Shredder is painfully cliché, unlike the really cool villain I grew up on.

It's a solid movie. It just never steps out of the box or has any real character development. Something you watch once and maybe twice if you're being generous, and then you forget about it.

Dredd (2012)

Dredd is NOT Robocop

[9/10 · 29 January 2015]

It's dark, grim, gritty, and action-packed.

Unlike Stallone's garbage film that had nothing to do with Judge Dredd, and tried WAY too hard to make him Robocop (a fine character, but these two are on opposite sides of the spectrum, character-wise) this one was simplistic, and you honestly feel like the character was done justice. Take a hint from this movie, Zack Snyder, this is how you do a character justice without copypasting from the source.

One fault of this film, however, is that it overuses slow-motion. I heard that it was good in 3-D, but if you watch this on home video, you'll want to fast forward through those scenes.

Dredd and the rookie are stuck in the megablock, and must work their way through waves of mobsters and try to call in backup.

This movie is so simple,, it's a breath of fresh air.

And it's full of action.

One could argue it's a bit too gritty, but it's better than the original where no blood was in at all (or if there was, it was like a scratch).

And Karl Urban actually knows the character and doesn't have Stallone's ego, and was fine with not having his face shown.

It's a movie I can recommend to any comic book fans that want to see a great character done justice, but also want to see some mega badassery.

So as much as I want to give this a perfect score, the film is a tad too gritty and overuses slow-motion. And that drops it down some pegs. Definitely a film to watch if you want to see some bodies drop and some dark humored punchlines. The movie nails Dredd as a character as I said before.

I can't wait until they do a sequel to this thing.

Neighbors (I) (2014)

Neighbors (give me my time back)

[1/10 · 29 January 2015]

This Is The End was a good dark comedy. And when I heard Rogen was doing another one like it, I thought, "This is awesome" I heard the trailer was good and when I finally rented it, I watched it first thing.

And here's where the review goes downhill.

A majority of the comedy in this film was too immature. No surprise, but in This Is The End, it was funny because that wasn't the entire film. I think if you have to be THAT immature to be "funny" then you aren't very funny.

This movie is so damn boring and not funny. I laughed because something funny happened twice. I laughed about ten thousand times at how stupid this movie is.

There isn't much else to say about this movie, because it's a comedy, and not some Transformers or Marvel movie. It's terrible. But watch this if you want to see some stupid crap. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

Riddick (2013)

Riddick (2013)

[6/10 · 29 January 2015]

This was the second Riddick movie I watched.

It starts off really slow, and picks up really slow.

The action and standoffs in this movie are really cool, it has some neat special effects, and so on.

Plot-wise, it's a snore, and it's like Watchmen in the fact that every time you're about to give up on it, something cool happens. It's also very predictable.

Another wacky kill happens that is hilariously cool and towards the end, it gets really good. But then it ends, leaving you wanting more.

It's highly entertaining but is too short on the runtime and plot line. It's also painfully predictable.

Lockout (2012)

Lockout: A good movie that never breaks the mold

[7/10 · 29 January 2015]

With great special effects, a surprisingly good amount of comedy, a great cast, great acting, a decent story, and mediocre action this 2012 sci-fi pseudo action flick is a movie with a simple plot that gets pulled off.

There's nothing really pulling this movie back except the action isn't pulse-pounding and I think the creators knew this, throwing action in at every turn where it didn't feel like it should've been.

Guy Pearce does a fantastic job as Snow, who is a great character. The First Daughter has some good parts, sometimes breaking her mold as a damsel in distress (but not until the end).

It's a good movie with nothing special, except for the characters. Some predictable-ish plot twists, being forgettable, decent rewatchability, and some decent-ish action sequences hold this movie back from a bigger score and more importantly

Hercules (I) (2014)

*Heracles 2014

[10/10 · 7 January 2015]

I did like this. It was a good mix of action, comedy, and had some good plot twists. There are only a few gripes for me to go with on this one. For one, it lacks a good villain. For two, they used the wrong name for Heracles, because they used the Greek names for the gods, but then used the Roman spelling for Heracles (Hercules). I understand why they did that, but for a myth-buff like me, it's a bit annoying.

All-in-all, I thought it has potential to be one of the best movies of the year. It's the third best I've seen thus far (after TF4 and GoTG, in that order). When I saw him face the Nemean Lion, I was a little afraid this was going to be a ripoff of Scorpion King (even though Heracles was actually an archer in the mythos), when I saw the bow (and I'm a big Mummy/Scorpion King fan. Have been since I was a little kid). But this movie easily bests the disappointing "Legend Of Hercules" with Kellan Lutz. It has two of my favorite actors: the Rock (obviously) and the bad guy from A Knight's Tale, Rufus Sewell who is barely in any movies.

This movie has great action, great acting, a few really cool characters (namely Sewell's, Johnson's, and the old spearsman/oracle). Every other character was bland, but I didn't mind that so much. This movie takes out the annoying dragging on and romance annoyingness of some movies, and gives you a non-stop, at times hilarious, throw guys around. I at first predicted that in true Season Of The Witch and King Arthur style, that his entire team dies, but.... Eh, you'll have to watch the movie.

It's definitely worth a watch, even though it's not like Clash Of The Titans or Percy Jackson where it's more mythos-based. It's a man dressed up in a lion's skin with a big ass club. If you like this kind of stuff, it's definitely worth a buy.

This movie gets an all-around 9.5/10. It's really good. It never drags on, or at least, not for long. It's pretty badass. With some really cool characters (some of the team, Heracles himself, and the bad guy and the other guy could've used some more diving into of their characters though). The twists are a little surprising, but once you watch the movie through, it makes complete sense.

The Sorcerer's Apprentice (2010)

Sorcerer's Apprentice 2010

[8/10 · 7 January 2015]

Like Season of the Witch, this movie feels a little cursed, for no visible reason. Correction: no visible reason except for an actor from the main cast, Nic Cage.

This is one of the few Disney movies that I enjoy. It has a great cast, plot, lore, action, special effects, acting, and musical score.

With some good characters, this movie can at times, be very memorable. Parts like the final fight and the Chinatown Sequence, stick into your mind like silly puddy.

This movie follows that guy who voices Hiccup from How to Train Your Dragons, as he goes from college loser, to Merlon's successor, known in this film as the "Prime Merlonian". Nicolas Cage as Balthazar Blake, Merlon's apprentice, trains whatever his name. The jealous Horvath, one of Merlon's other apprentices tries to resurrect the evil Morgana le Fey, to end the Prime Merlonian and Balthazar.

It has this implacable vibe, that is very cool. Some nods to stuff like Fantasia and One Republic (mainly because their song Secrets was popular when this came out).

It's a weird, modern magic film that is far more appealing to me than any Harry Potter film, which is why I give it an 8/10. It's a good film and a good watch.